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I'll Be Present When Things Settle Down — The Most Expensive Lie in Business
This morning Tom Foxley sat in the garden watching his daughter look
at something in the grass.
Just there. Fully. Nothing lost.
That sounds unremarkable. For a long time, it would have been
impossible — because Tom is by default a distracted person. Anxious
head, always moving, obsessive about progress in a way that doesn't
switch off when he leaves the desk. For years he told himself it was
just how he was wired. The price of being driven.
The honest version looked like: phone out mid-conversation. Wife
talking, part of his brain somewhere else. And the quiet, persistent
belief that he'd be present when things settled down. When the business
was more stable. When this particular pressure lifted.
Things don't settle down. You just keep deferring the version of
yourself you actually want to be.
In this episode Tom traces what changed — the moment he saw clearly
what kind of father he'd become if nothing shifted, the training that
followed, giving up twice, and what it eventually built. Not just at
home. In the business too. Because the weeks where his mind was most
scattered tracked directly with his worst decision-making, his most
deferred conversations, his most avoided work.
Presence isn't a personality type. It's a capacity you build. And you
can start the first rep today.
Topics covered:
- Why driven, ambitious people are often the worst at being present —
and why they mistake it for a feature
- The pattern connecting mental scatter to poor business performance
- Why "I'll be present when things settle" is the most expensive lie
in business
- What the training actually looked like — including failing and
starting again
- What it means to build something you can actually inhabit
- Where your attention is right now — and who gets the remainder
View all episodes
By Tom Foxley, Mental Fitness Coach for Business Owners
5
55 ratings
This morning Tom Foxley sat in the garden watching his daughter look
at something in the grass.
Just there. Fully. Nothing lost.
That sounds unremarkable. For a long time, it would have been
impossible — because Tom is by default a distracted person. Anxious
head, always moving, obsessive about progress in a way that doesn't
switch off when he leaves the desk. For years he told himself it was
just how he was wired. The price of being driven.
The honest version looked like: phone out mid-conversation. Wife
talking, part of his brain somewhere else. And the quiet, persistent
belief that he'd be present when things settled down. When the business
was more stable. When this particular pressure lifted.
Things don't settle down. You just keep deferring the version of
yourself you actually want to be.
In this episode Tom traces what changed — the moment he saw clearly
what kind of father he'd become if nothing shifted, the training that
followed, giving up twice, and what it eventually built. Not just at
home. In the business too. Because the weeks where his mind was most
scattered tracked directly with his worst decision-making, his most
deferred conversations, his most avoided work.
Presence isn't a personality type. It's a capacity you build. And you
can start the first rep today.
Topics covered:
- Why driven, ambitious people are often the worst at being present —
and why they mistake it for a feature
- The pattern connecting mental scatter to poor business performance
- Why "I'll be present when things settle" is the most expensive lie
in business
- What the training actually looked like — including failing and
starting again
- What it means to build something you can actually inhabit
- Where your attention is right now — and who gets the remainder
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