“When women find themselves feeling lost somewhere between who they were before motherhood and who they think they should be now, many worry that something is terribly wrong, when in fact this discomfort is absolutely common.” (Alexandra Sacks)
Have you heard of Matrescence?
In the 1970’s, anthropologist Dana Raphael coined the term ‘matrescence’ - “The time of becoming a mother”. It is used to describe the physical and emotional transformation that mothers make when a baby is born. The transition also greatly effects partners and family members. Dr. Raphael, also coined the term "doula" to describe a female caregiver who “Mothered the Mother.”
Reproductive psychiatrist Alexandra Sacks explains matrescence as a ‘push and pull’ concept. New mothers strive to bond with their baby, understand their needs and make their baby the centre of their universe. This is the ‘pull’.
The push is the flip side of that where the mother is trying to re-frame this new life she has within the context of her identity, relationships, career, interests and her own physical and emotional needs.
Have you ever experienced any of the following things?
Feeling like you have lost your ‘old self’ but not being sure of who you really are now?
Feeling like you shouldn’t spend money on yourself because you don’t earn any (or as much) money now?
Feeling invisible, less valued, now you are “just a mom”?
Feeling guilty for wanting time away from you baby/children?These are all part of matrescence. These are all part of how you have begun to evolve and change as a woman because you are now a mother.
Most likely these things have felt difficult, emotional, frustrating, lonely or confusing because you haven’t known they were part of a bigger process of change. This is where knowing about matrescence can be so supportive and powerful for women. It begins to give you a new framework to explore your experiences within. A new lens with which to view your world.
Suddenly the word matrescence allows us to see we are not alone. In fact, many women struggle with the question “where did my old self go and who I am now?”
Nadhira & I connected through a community of spiritually-oriented, heart-centered entrepreneurs. We knew right away that her birth stories held gifts that could be illuminated. Her babies were the obvious blessings & there was even more.... growth & personal development unfolding.
If you or someone you know would like more support for the postpartum transition, please reach out! www.illuminatedlifeways.com
Nadhira Razack helps big hearted, driven women who are frustrated and unfulfilled by their careers but don't quite know what next steps to take. She helps them let go of the dead-ends in their life and helps them discover and step into their life's work.
With more than 10 years under her belt in coaching, Nadhira mentors and teaches women how to tune into their intuition, identify their soul's biggest priority and create effortless personal and professional rituals to live out their unique calling in the world.
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