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"I’m a saver, he’s a spender, how do we get on the same page?" Mailbag episode
Opposites attract, until it comes to money.
This week’s listener says she’s a saver, her partner is a spender, and every attempt to “get serious” about their finances ends the same way: frustration, guilt, splurging out of spite, and a plan that falls apart by March.
Instead of moving forward, they’re cancelling each other out, and it’s starting to wear them both down.
In this Ask the Experts episode, EnableMe head strategic coach Katie Wesney breaks down why saver–spender dynamics are so common, and why money fights are usually about values, security, and behaviour, not just dollars.
We talk about:
Why saver–spender couples clash, even when they want the same life
How different money personalities (savers, spenders, upholders, questioners, rebels) approach rules, goals, and plans
Why behaviour matters more than the “perfect” financial strategy
How starting with a shared vision changes the conversation
Practical systems that reduce friction, including automation and separate “no-questions-asked” spending
How couples can use their differences as strengths instead of sabotage
If you have a letter you’d like us to answer, please send it through to [email protected] (mailto:[email protected]) and you might feature on our next episode!
Follow me everywhere!
Facebook / https://www.facebook.com/FrancesCookNZ
Instagram / https://www.instagram.com/francescooknz
TikTok / https://www.tiktok.com/@francescooknz
Join the Money Memo newsletter for a free weekly money tip in your inbox each week https://www.francescook.co.nz/subscribe
This podcast was filmed & produced by Fanaticals
Video editing & content production by Lana Byrne
Audio engineering by Tash Chittock
#MakingCents #FrancesCook #SaverVsSpender #CouplesAndMoney #MoneyInRelationships #MoneyPersonalities #MoneyMindset #BudgetingAsACouple #JointAccounts #FinancialAccountability #MortgageTips #PayOffMortgageFaster #FinancialFreedom
Chapters- 00:00:00 Introduction
- 00:01:09 Listener letter: opposite money styles
- 00:01:48 "Money fights aren’t about money” (trust, values, security)
- 00:03:14 How to start the conversation: vision, numbers, timeframes
- 00:04:24 Money personality types: saver / shopper / plodder
- 00:05:34 Gretchen Rubin tendencies: upholder, obliger, questioner, rebel
- 00:11:08 Saver vs shopper
- 00:13:24 Systems for couples: joint vs separate money + autonomy
- 00:15:58 Where to from here?
- 00:16:19 Outro
View all episodes
By Frances CookOpposites attract, until it comes to money.
This week’s listener says she’s a saver, her partner is a spender, and every attempt to “get serious” about their finances ends the same way: frustration, guilt, splurging out of spite, and a plan that falls apart by March.
Instead of moving forward, they’re cancelling each other out, and it’s starting to wear them both down.
In this Ask the Experts episode, EnableMe head strategic coach Katie Wesney breaks down why saver–spender dynamics are so common, and why money fights are usually about values, security, and behaviour, not just dollars.
We talk about:
Why saver–spender couples clash, even when they want the same life
How different money personalities (savers, spenders, upholders, questioners, rebels) approach rules, goals, and plans
Why behaviour matters more than the “perfect” financial strategy
How starting with a shared vision changes the conversation
Practical systems that reduce friction, including automation and separate “no-questions-asked” spending
How couples can use their differences as strengths instead of sabotage
If you have a letter you’d like us to answer, please send it through to [email protected] (mailto:[email protected]) and you might feature on our next episode!
Follow me everywhere!
Facebook / https://www.facebook.com/FrancesCookNZ
Instagram / https://www.instagram.com/francescooknz
TikTok / https://www.tiktok.com/@francescooknz
Join the Money Memo newsletter for a free weekly money tip in your inbox each week https://www.francescook.co.nz/subscribe
This podcast was filmed & produced by Fanaticals
Video editing & content production by Lana Byrne
Audio engineering by Tash Chittock
#MakingCents #FrancesCook #SaverVsSpender #CouplesAndMoney #MoneyInRelationships #MoneyPersonalities #MoneyMindset #BudgetingAsACouple #JointAccounts #FinancialAccountability #MortgageTips #PayOffMortgageFaster #FinancialFreedom
Chapters- 00:00:00 Introduction
- 00:01:09 Listener letter: opposite money styles
- 00:01:48 "Money fights aren’t about money” (trust, values, security)
- 00:03:14 How to start the conversation: vision, numbers, timeframes
- 00:04:24 Money personality types: saver / shopper / plodder
- 00:05:34 Gretchen Rubin tendencies: upholder, obliger, questioner, rebel
- 00:11:08 Saver vs shopper
- 00:13:24 Systems for couples: joint vs separate money + autonomy
- 00:15:58 Where to from here?
- 00:16:19 Outro