In this episode (and the accompanying Substack essay), we borrow wisdom from an unlikely leadership classroom: trick-or-treating.

At its core, trick-or-treating is a masterclass in how humans ask for things, respond to expectations, and navigate power dynamics — all without threats, pressure, or fear. It’s polite. It’s ritualized. And it works remarkably well.

This episode explores what leaders and employees can learn from that simple exchange about influence, clarity, tone, and relationship-based persuasion.

In this reflection, we explore:

Why people are more willing to give when the ask is clear and respectful

How tone and approach matter more than authority

The role of shared rules and expectations in getting buy-in

Why intimidation creates compliance but politeness builds cooperation

How leaders sometimes become “scary” without realizing it

The difference between demanding outcomes and inviting participation

Why gratitude and ritual reinforce trust

We also talk about how effective leaders, like successful trick-or-treaters, understand the environment, follow the norms, and make the ask in a way that feels safe and human — not transactional or threatening.

Key takeaway:You don’t need to scare people into giving you what you want. Clear expectations, respect, and gratitude are far more effective — and far more sustainable. The best leadership influence sounds less like a threat and more like a well-timed knock on the door.

In this episode (and the accompanying Substack essay), we explore three phrases that are universally encouraged in our personal relationships — yet oddly discouraged, complicated, or even punished in professional leadership spaces:

I was wrong.

I’m sorry.

I made a mistake.

While accountability language is foundational to healthy marriages, friendships, and families, it is often treated as risky or weak in leadership roles. This episode examines why that disconnect exists — and why it’s costing organizations trust, credibility, and growth.

In this reflection, we explore:

Why leaders are often taught to prioritize certainty over honesty

How fear of appearing weak discourages accountability

The difference between confidence and infallibility

Why refusing to admit mistakes erodes trust faster than making them

How accountability language creates psychological safety

The long-term leadership strength that comes from owning missteps early

Why repair matters more than perfection

We also talk about how modeling accountability gives teams permission to learn, adapt, and recover — instead of hiding errors, deflecting blame, or freezing in fear.

Key takeaway:Strong leadership isn’t about never being wrong. It’s about what you do after you realize you are. Leaders who can say “I was wrong,” “I’m sorry,” and “I made a mistake” don’t lose authority — they build it.

In this episode (and accompanying Substack piece), we explore an unlikely leadership teacher: the mongoose.

Small. Unassuming. Often underestimated.And yet — remarkably effective when it matters most.

Using the mongoose as a metaphor, this reflection looks at leadership that doesn’t rely on size, title, or volume, but on awareness, courage, timing, and precision. The mongoose doesn’t win by being the biggest presence in the room — it wins by knowing exactly when to engage, when to retreat, and when to strike decisively.

In this episode, we explore:

* Why being underestimated can be a leadership advantage

* The difference between aggression and strategic courage

* How speed, focus, and adaptability often outperform brute force

* Knowing when to confront a “cobra” and when to avoid the fight altogether

* Why confidence rooted in preparation beats confidence rooted in ego

* How leaders can protect their teams without constantly seeking attention

* The importance of situational awareness over positional authority

We also reflect on how effective leaders, like the mongoose, balance humility with boldness — staying alert, grounded, and ready without posturing or unnecessary conflict.

Key takeaway:Leadership isn’t about being the loudest, biggest, or most intimidating presence. It’s about knowing your strengths, respecting the risks, and choosing your moments wisely. Sometimes the most effective leaders are the ones people never see coming.

Fear-Induced Decision Paralysis

In this episode (and the accompanying Substack essay), we explore how fear quietly reshapes decision-making inside organizations — not through dramatic conflict, but through hesitation, avoidance, and non-decisions.

When consequences are unclear, reactions are inconsistent, and power feels opaque, people don’t stop caring — they stop deciding. Over time, fear becomes the operating system, and decision-making shifts from problem-solving to self-protection.

Using the metaphor of the thermocline — the ocean layer where light, temperature, and density suddenly change — we examine how ideas often fail to move upward in organizations, not because they’re bad, but because fear thickens the water they must pass through.

In this reflection, we explore:

How fear becomes more powerful than actual consequences

Why inconsistent or invisible accountability creates paralysis

The organizational “thermocline” where ideas lose clarity and momentum

How non-decisions quietly replace leadership

Why people push decisions upward instead of owning them

How ideas lose context and “light” as they move through dense leadership layers

The emotional cost of managing fear instead of making choices

We also talk about what it takes to warm the water — transparency, clarity, psychological safety, and leaders willing to absorb risk so others don’t have to.

Key takeaway:Fear doesn’t usually announce itself. It shows up as silence, delay, and indecision. Leaders who want better decisions must first reduce the fear surrounding them — because clarity can’t travel through cold, dense water.

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🎙️ Podcast Show Notes

I’m Just Getting Started

Episode Title: Cultivating a Growth Mindset

Growth doesn’t happen because things are easy. It happens because we keep going when they aren’t.

In this episode, we talk about what it really means to cultivate a growth mindset—not as a cliché, but as a daily practice. From reframing challenges with the power of “not yet,” to building a support network, prioritizing mental health, and breaking big problems into manageable steps, this conversation is about learning how to move forward with intention and care.

If you’re feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure of your next step, this episode is a reminder that growth is still happening—even when it doesn’t feel like it.

In this episode, we explore:

Why “not yet” is a powerful mindset shift

How challenges become learning opportunities

The importance of community and support

Why self-care is essential to sustainable growth

Practical ways to approach problem-solving without burnout

Thanks for listening!Subscribe to I’m Just Getting Started for weekly reflections on leadership, learning, and becoming.

Best Lessons on Leadership, Work, and Supervision

In this episode, I step back and reflect on the most consistent lessons that have emerged over the past few months of writing I’m Just Getting Started. These aren’t textbook leadership theories — they’re field notes from real work, real people, and real moments where leadership shows up quietly and imperfectly.

This conversation pulls together themes around energy, trust, supervision, humility, patience, and the deeply human side of leading and working alongside others.

In this episode, we explore:

Why leadership is more about judgment and timing than having the right answers

The difference between managing time and managing energy — and why energy always wins

How promoting great doers often sets new leaders up for early struggle

Why capacity can masquerade as leadership in small teams (until it can’t)

The fragile relationship between trust and loyalty in modern work

Why politeness, humility, and accountability still matter more than authority

How breaking bread builds trust in ways meetings never will

Why wisdom often means not learning every lesson the hard way

What it costs to lead — or simply work — while carrying pain

How self-awareness becomes one of the most underrated professional skills

This episode is about leadership as it actually feels — messy, relational, unfinished — and about why paying attention often matters more than having control.

Key takeaway:Great leadership isn’t built on perfection or certainty. It’s built on awareness, humanity, and the willingness to keep learning — even (and especially) when things are complicated.

In this episode (and the accompanying essay), we take an unlikely teacher seriously: DoorDash. What looks like a simple food delivery app turns out to be a surprisingly clear window into how modern work actually functions — expectations, incentives, invisibility, and all.

Using DoorDash as a metaphor, this piece explores how work gets fragmented, optimized, gamified, and sometimes dehumanized — and what that means for both workers and leaders.

In this reflection, we explore:

How algorithm-driven work reshapes motivation and behavior

Why speed is rewarded more than sustainability

How “efficiency” often hides invisible labor

The emotional cost of rating systems and constant evaluation

What happens when people become interchangeable units of productivity

Why customers rarely see the full scope of effort behind the service

What leaders can learn from gig work about fairness, clarity, and dignity

We also reflect on what DoorDash reveals about the modern psychological contract at work — short-term, transactional, and built for output rather than belonging.

Key takeaway:DoorDash isn’t just a delivery service — it’s a mirror. It reflects what we value, what we ignore, and how easily work becomes disconnected from the people doing it. Leaders who pay attention can learn how to build systems that honor effort instead of hiding it.

In this episode (and accompanying essay), we explore one of the most underrated leadership skills: the ability to say “I don’t know.”

In a culture that often equates leadership with certainty, confidence, and having the answers, admitting uncertainty can feel risky — even unprofessional. But in practice, leaders who can say “I don’t know” often build more trust, stronger teams, and better decisions than those who feel compelled to always appear sure.

In this reflection, we explore:

Why pretending to know is more damaging than admitting uncertainty

How “I don’t know” creates psychological safety instead of doubt

The difference between ignorance and intellectual honesty

Why teams trust leaders who are curious more than leaders who are performative

How saying “I don’t know” invites collaboration and shared problem-solving

Why certainty ages poorly in complex, fast-changing environments

How humility becomes a leadership accelerant, not a liability

We also talk about how often “I don’t know” is the doorway to better questions, better listening, and better outcomes — especially in moments when the stakes are high and clarity is still forming.

Key takeaway:Strong leaders don’t lead by having all the answers. They lead by creating spaces where the right answers can be found — together.

In this episode (and the accompanying essay), we explore one of the most overlooked leadership tools available — a single, simple word that costs nothing and changes everything: please.

Somewhere along the way, professionalism convinced us that politeness was optional, efficiency was king, and authority didn’t need courtesy. But the absence of “please” has consequences — especially in environments where power, hierarchy, and urgency dominate communication.

This piece reflects on why that small word carries disproportionate weight, and how its consistent use reshapes trust, tone, and team culture.

In this reflection, we explore:

Why “please” signals respect, not weakness

How power dynamics make politeness more meaningful — not less

The difference between issuing commands and making requests

Why people are more willing to go the extra mile when dignity is preserved

How removing “please” slowly erodes psychological safety

Why courtesy is often the first casualty of stress and urgency

How leaders model culture one sentence at a time

We also examine why leaders sometimes avoid polite language — fearing it softens authority — and why the opposite is almost always true. Courtesy doesn’t dilute leadership; it strengthens it.

Key takeaway:“Please” isn’t about manners. It’s about mutual respect. And in leadership, respect is the currency that buys trust, effort, and goodwill long before authority ever does.

In this episode (and the full essay), we dive into the complicated dance between trust and loyalty in the workplace — a relationship that has shaped American work culture for decades, and a relationship that has unraveled just as quickly.

Leaders often want loyalty before they offer trust.Employees often want trust before they can offer loyalty.And somewhere in the middle, both sides wait for the other to go first.

In this reflection, we explore:

• Trust begets loyalty — and loyalty begets trust

It’s not a linear process; it’s a loop. But because leaders hold the positional power, the first move toward trust is almost always theirs to make.

• Why the old model is broken

“Loyalty first” used to be rewarded with stability and longevity.Today? Younger workers see AI replacing jobs, employers monitoring screens, and return-to-office mandates that imply distrust — and leaders still wonder why loyalty feels scarce.

• The modern trust deficit

Surveillance software, shifting policies, layoffs, and unclear expectations have eroded the baseline of trust that prior generations depended on. Employees aren’t less loyal — the conditions are less trustworthy.

• Leaders can rebuild trust, but only in small, deliberate moves

We outline practical steps leaders can take to begin closing the gap:

Stop treating every employee like they’re trying to “get away” with something

Ease up on micromanagement (especially for non-hourly workers)

Hand over small but meaningful responsibilities

Talk openly about the relationship between trust and loyalty

Model consistency — because inconsistency is where trust goes to die

• Trust-building doesn’t require grand gestures

Sometimes it starts with one policy relaxed, one assumption removed, or one project handed over with real autonomy.

Key takeaway:Both sides want the same thing — a workplace built on mutual respect, psychological safety, and a belief in one another. Trust starts with the person who has the most power to give it, and grows from there. Loyalty shows up once trust feels safe.