When someone you care about is struggling with a problem, you might be tempted to give them advice. While coming from a well-meaning place, unsolicited advice is likely to make things worse. That’s because it’s usually received as a passive-aggressive form of criticism: “I know better than you, so I’m going to tell you what to do.”

I recommend a much more powerful technique to help people solve their own problems, using their own thinking and other internal resources. And the first step, the “magic move,” is to guide them to shift from thinking about the problem to considering what they’d like instead.

What Peter Bregman and I refer to in our book as an “energizing outcome.”

Quality 1: Positive

The first quality of an energizing outcome: it has to be positive. That is, something to move toward, rather than away from. (Read all about it.)

That’s because negative outcomes aren’t motivating. No cab driver will know where to go if you tell them, “Anywhere but here, please.”

Quality 2: Clear

Vague outcomes also aren’t motivating, because they don’t speak to the subconscious, which is the engine of — or obstacle to — change.

That’s because the subconscious mind doesn’t process abstractions. But it loves specifics. (Read all about it.)

And now we’ve reached the third and final quality of an energizing outcome: it’s got to be meaningful.

Quality 3: Meaningful

Meaningful outcomes matter to the people going after them. That’s where the juice comes from; the energy in energizing.

Here’s the thing: problems only matter in context. In fact, they are only actually problems in context.

Problems are Context-Dependent

For example: my problem is that I can’t find a micro-USB charging cable for my old Black Diamond Sprint headlamp — the one that has a strong front beam and bright red blinking LED lights in back (so if I get run over by a truck, I can be confident that it was on purpose).

But wait — I’m not doing any nighttime runs these days.

So not being able to charge the headlamp is not actually a problem. It would become a problem again only if I needed hands-free light during a power outage.

Let’s say you’ve just taken the Clifton Strengths Finder assessment and discovered that your four weakest themes are Focus, Consistency, Competition, and (lowest of the low) Achiever. (Not naming names, Howie.) Is that a problem?

Trick question!

Because the answer is, it depends on the context.

Are My Weaknesses Problems?

If I have a system to keep me on track day after day, then my trouble with focus and consistency are mitigated. (And boy do I have a system! Between Todoist, Clickup, Sunsama, Google Calendar, and an imaginary poster of Mr T hovering inches from my desk chair, I get shit done!)

My tendency to avoid competition might be a problem if I were in an organization where ruthlessness is needed to climb the corporate ladder, or if I were a sales guy in an setting where second place gets a set of steak knives and third place gets fired. But as a coach/consultant/mentor, I don’t need an ego-driven fire in my belly to generate business. I just need to be curious and helpful and clear.

Achiever, though, is another thing altogether. If something in me really doesn’t care if I finish the next book or not, then that’s a problem.

Turning the Problem into a Meaningful Outcome

So what’s the energizing outcome to the problem of lacking the strength of Achiever ?

It’s not the opposite of the problem — which is a good thing, because I’m allergic to motivational posters (and secretly have a fondness for the demotivational ones). I’m not trying to morph into an eager beaver achiever. (Note to self: get the URL EagerBeaverAchiever.com if available. No idea why. Just get it.)

Instead, my energizing outcome is to produce great work on time that enriches others and expresses my values and intellectual property.

That MATTERS to me. A lot.

A Meaningful Outcome Goes Far Beyond the Opposite of the Problem

If I just looked at the problem of not having an Achiever personality, I’d try to solve that. But turning myself into a Achiever (even if that were possible — it sounds exhausting) wouldn’t necessarily address the real issue: I want to put great work out into the world for the benefit of all (including myself).

That outcome makes me tingle.

And it leads naturally to more creative ways of thinking about the problem.

I’ve written 9 books so far in my career. Because I figured out a way to do so without turning into an achiever.

Instead, I signed legal contracts with large publishing houses that scared the shit out of me, so I produced the promised content on time and responded promptly and responsibly to all their queries, concerns, and requests.

Outcome: work that I’m proud of into the world, and me recognized (and compensated) for it. Yippee!

Next week: the second “magic move” to help bring out the best in the people you care about. Stay tuned.

Are you a leader responsible for the activities, mindset, and emotional tone of a team? I specialize in Mindset Mastery, so you and your team can focus on What Matters Most and Uproot your Blockages. Email me at howie AT askhowie DOT com to find out more and book a free 30-minute discovery call.