A jury just ruled that Meta and YouTube were “deliberately built to be addictive.” Chris and Des have been waiting for this moment and it just happens that it landed the same week the analog revolution smacked Chris in the face at the Mall of America.

In this free-flowing episode, Chris and Des unpack Big Tech’s “Big Tobacco moment,” the irony of #analoglife trending on TikTok, and the deep human need for third places, adult friendships, and unstructured play. Des shares her journey from nomadic isolation to betting on Santa Fe. Chris confesses to 10 unplayed board games and commits to finding a group for game night. Together they explore dinner-with-strangers apps, murder mystery parties, community education catalogs, conversational card games, and the terrifying beauty of walking into a room where you don’t know a soul.

It’s group therapy disguised as cultural commentary. And this time, the homework is fun: get offline, get out there, and find your people.

Timestamps:

0:00 — Intro & DTF St. Louis Review

5:46 — The Meta/YouTube Negligence Verdict

9:30 — Mall of America and the Analog Revolution

11:20 — The Loss of Third Places

14:30 — Pickup Basketball & How We Used to Find Community

24:00 — Small Towns vs. Suburbs vs. Cities

27:30 — Bowling Alone and the History of Civic Decline

31:00 — Chick-fil-A Phone Coops & the Algorithm Irony

35:00 — Dinner With Strangers Apps (Timeleft, Bass)
40:00 — Why We’re Scared to Talk to People

44:30 — Adult Play, Super Soakers, and Murder Mystery Parties

46:00 — The Delve Deck: A Card Game for All Generations
48:30 — Des’s Pledge: Sunset DJ Parties in Santa Fe

52:00 — Chris’s Pledge: Board Game Night and Cause-Based Community

58:00 — Wrap & Call to Action

====================

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If you’ve ever called someone a narcissist, been told you’re being gaslighted, or diagnosed yourself via TikTok, this one’s for you.
Pop psychology has gone mainstream. Therapy terms flood our group chats, dating app bios, and Netflix watchlists. But what happens when clinical language enters everyday conversation without the clinical expertise behind it? In this episode, Chris and Desiree sit down with Dr. Coreen Haym — a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who trains therapists in graduate and doctorate programs to unpack the good (destigmatization), the bad (oversimplification and self-diagnosis), and the ugly (grifters, mass therapy platforms exploiting early-career therapists, and AI chatbots designed to validate you).

This is group therapy for people who are exhausted by pop psychology telling them everything is trauma and everyone around them is a narcissist.

Timestamps:

0:00 — Cold open: “Nothing applies to everyone”

1:40 — Spring check-in, introducing Dr. Coreen Haym

4:00 — Netflix dating shows and the rise of therapy speak

8:00 — Queer Ultimatum, Age of Attraction, and spotting who’s actually been to therapy

10:00 — The normalization of therapy talk post-COVID

15:00 — Pop psychology deep dive: narcissism, self-diagnosis, confirmation bias

20:00 — TikTok therapists vs. real therapists: how to tell the difference

25:00 — Good therapists to follow: Therapy Jeff, ThatTherapistGirl, Nicole Artz

28:00 — What it actually takes to become a licensed therapist

35:00 — Dr. Phil, Mel Robbins, and grifters in the therapy space

43:00 — Lawyers vs. therapists: why Mel Robbins’s background matters

45:00 — Therapists navigating the current political climate

50:00 — Mass therapy platforms: Headspace, Talkspace, and the exploitation of early-career therapists

56:00 — AI therapy: validation machines and the human connection they can’t replace

59:00 — The hunger for analog connection: silent book clubs, phone-free spaces

1:02:00 — The manosphere and where men are actually going for mental health

1:04:00 — Dr. Haym's closing: starting therapy is scary, but trust the process

1:07:00 — Wrap

====================

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🖥️ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@BeHerePod

📱 Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/im-not-even-supposed-to-be-here-today/id1867373928

🎧 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3bypMpSmcoIjt4bHk0nvzz?si=18eab826d1394fd9

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If you've ever voted for someone you didn't believe in because the alternative was worse, this one's for you. 

Harm reduction voting — the idea that you should support the lesser of two evils to prevent greater damage — has been the Democratic Party's core ask since 2000. In this episode, Chris and Desiree trace the concept from its origins in AIDS-era public health (needle exchange programs, not ballots), through the Ralph Nader math that handed Bush the presidency, the Bernie Bro postmortem of 2016, and the 2024 silences that told Desiree the election was going the wrong way.

Then they get into what actually started this conversation: Hasan Piker saying he'd vote third party in a Newsom vs. Vance matchup — and the furious backlash from moderate Democrats who said that was dangerous. And they spend some time on why Gavin Newsom specifically is a walking argument against harm reduction as a long-term strategy.

This is group therapy for people who are exhausted by being asked to vote against something when what they desperately want is something to vote for.

====================

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🖥️ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@BeHerePod

📱 Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/im-not-even-supposed-to-be-here-today/id1867373928

🎧 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3bypMpSmcoIjt4bHk0nvzz?si=18eab826d1394fd9

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If you've ever opened your phone and within 30 seconds gone from a bombed city to a Holiday ad to a dead child to your niece at a pumpkin patch, you already understand cognitive dissonance. You're just living it.

In Episode 10, Chris and Desiree name the thing that's been eating at all of us: the crushing gap between a world that is genuinely on fire and the expectation that we still function, perform, show up, and act normal.

They compare 2026 to the actual worst years in American history (1862, 1939, 1968, 2020) and make a case for why this moment hits different. Not because things are objectively worse than being a slave in 1862 (Desiree checks that), but because of something no previous generation dealt with: 24/7 inescapable, algorithmically-weaponized information overload.

Then, critically, they give you five ways to survive it without going numb. Including why finding joy right now is an act of resistance, not betrayal.

You're not malfunctioning. The world actually is this bad. And yet here we are.

====================

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🖥️ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@BeHerePod

📱 Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/im-not-even-supposed-to-be-here-today/id1867373928

🎧 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3bypMpSmcoIjt4bHk0nvzz?si=18eab826d1394fd9

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If you've ever wondered whether any of this is working — the marching, the sharing, the showing up — this episode is for you. Diana Rhodes has been organizing since before reproductive justice was funded, before harm reduction was named in public health spaces, before any of it was mainstream. She's seen backlash cycles before. And she has something to say about this one.

This episode covers: why protest is a tactic not a strategy, how movements survive suppression (spoiler: they go underground, they always have), why loving your neighbors is literally a counter-strategy to authoritarianism, and why you don't have to be the loud one to matter.

Plus: Andor as political mirror, disco's suppression as historical parallel, and the social change ecosystem map that will make you reconsider your role in all of this.

Group therapy disguised as cultural commentary. No partisan lecturing. Just people trying to make sense of a world that has gone jackass sideways.
====================

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🖥️ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@BeHerePod

📱 Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/im-not-even-supposed-to-be-here-today/id1867373928

🎧 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3bypMpSmcoIjt4bHk0nvzz?si=18eab826d1394fd9

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If you've ever stared at your bank statement wondering when you subscribed to that — and whether you actually own anything anymore — this one's for you.

Episode 8 breaks down the business model behind shrinkflation, algorithmic pricing, subscription traps, and the quiet death of ownership. Chris and Des call it what it is: shittification. And they trace exactly how we got here — from the paper price tag to dynamic grocery store displays that change prices as you walk up to them.

Also this week: a boycott check-in (they actually followed through), an AI update that's genuinely alarming, and a surprisingly hopeful argument that we might be at peak shittiness — which means the pendulum has to swing back.

"I'm Not Even Supposed to Be Here Today" — group therapy disguised as cultural commentary, for people who did everything right and still feel like something's broken.

Sources mentioned: More Perfect Union, Cory Doctorow's enshittification concept, Ronan Farrow's dynamic pricing investigation, Dario Amodei's AI letter
====================

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🖥️ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@BeHerePod

📱 Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/im-not-even-supposed-to-be-here-today/id1867373928

🎧 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3bypMpSmcoIjt4bHk0nvzz?si=18eab826d1394fd9

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#BeHerePod #NotEvenSupposedToBeHere #CulturalCommentary

If you've ever felt guilty for still using Amazon/Apple/Netflix despite everything—this episode is group therapy.

Chris and Des get uncomfortably honest about their own boycott failures, unpack why brand dependency is a feature (not a bug) of modern capitalism, and walk through Scott Galloway's framework for actually making consumer resistance work.

You'll learn:
- Why boycotts succeed (Montgomery Bus) vs. fail (most of them)
- The psychological traps keeping you locked in (loss aversion, status quo bias, cognitive dissonance)
- Which 18 brands Scott Galloway recommends targeting
- How to pick ONE boycott you can actually sustain

**The Bevolo & Des Challenge:** By next week's episode, pick one brand and cut it out. Then tell us what you picked.

Spoiler: It's harder than it sounds. That's the point.

====================

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🖥️ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@BeHerePod

📱 Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/im-not-even-supposed-to-be-here-today/id1867373928

🎧 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3bypMpSmcoIjt4bHk0nvzz?si=18eab826d1394fd9

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#BeHerePod #NotEvenSupposedToBeHere #CulturalCommentary

If you've ever wondered how we got to a place where grandmothers defend ICE killing protesters, business leaders stay silent on human rights violations, and empathy itself is called a "weakness"—this episode is your group therapy session.

Chris opens with justified rage at the "Necessary Conversation" podcast, where a MAGA mom twists herself into pretzels defending the ICE killing of Alex Pretti in Minneapolis. Desiree provides the historical context this moment demands: from lynchings as family entertainment to Indian boarding schools to the Nazi playbook built on American Jim Crow.

But this isn't just about pointing fingers. We break down the two groups who've lost empathy (the sheltered and the angry), why "economic system justification" makes people defend systems that hurt them, and what actually works when trying to reach people trapped in propaganda.

You'll learn:
- Why the right wing explicitly attacks empathy as "weakness"
- How caste systems train us to dehumanize
- The difference between people who can't see beyond their bubble vs those weaponizing their rage
- Deep canvassing techniques that don't make you want to scream
- How to welcome people changing their minds (SNL got it right)

Resources mentioned:
- Dan Ariely's "Misbelief: What Makes Rational People Believe Irrational Things"
- Isabel Wilkerson's "Caste: The Origins of Our Discontents"
- Beth Macy's "Paper Girl: The Ruined American Dream and the Hunt for Financial Salvation"
- Tish Jones' "The Children Are Watching" (performed at Timberwolves MLK Day)

This is group therapy disguised as cultural commentary. You're not crazy for feeling exhausted by this—the system is.

====================

Subscribe, watch and listen to I'm Not Even Supposed to Be Here Podcast

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🖥️ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@BeHerePod

📱 Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/im-not-even-supposed-to-be-here-today/id1867373928

🎧 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3bypMpSmcoIjt4bHk0nvzz?si=18eab826d1394fd9

====================

Sponsored by Bearing 287 https://www.bearing287.com/

====================

If you've ever watched mainstream media soften authoritarian language and wondered if you're the only one noticing: You're not. This week we unpack "sanewashing": the practice of making insane statements and authoritarian behavior sound normal and reasonable. From Trump's cognitive decline to media ownership by billionaires who need chaos to stay profitable, we break down why the news feels like gaslighting.

You'll learn:
- Why "bonkers" and "goons" are sanewashing words
- How billionaire ownership changed journalism fundamentally 
- Why CNN made $1 billion from Trump coverage (and needs him)
- What Walter Cronkite-era journalism looked like vs. today
- Specific independent journalists to follow instead

Plus: The independent journalists actually telling the truth (and how to support them instead of feeding the machine). (ProPublica, More Perfect Union, The Guardian, Joshua Doss, and more)
https://www.instagram.com/doss.discourse/

https://www.instagram.com/nowthisimpact/

https://www.instagram.com/underthedesknews/

https://www.instagram.com/perfectunion/

https://www.instagram.com/thehumanityarchive/

This is group therapy disguised as media criticism. You're not supposed to be here today—but here we are.
====================

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🖥️ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@BeHerePod

📱 Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/im-not-even-supposed-to-be-here-today/id1867373928

🎧 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3bypMpSmcoIjt4bHk0nvzz?si=18eab826d1394fd9

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If you've ever wondered whether you're being paranoid or whether your survival instincts are finally kicking in—this episode is for you.

Desiree predicted it at Thanksgiving 2024: "We're going to experience things we never thought we would." Now, with ICE raids in Minneapolis, transgender family members making escape plans, and the Handmaid's Tale's "Little America" feeling less like fiction and more like foreshadowing, we're processing the fear that Americans aren't supposed to feel.

We dive into:
- The violence we thought only happened on other soil
- Why Desiree watches documentaries about World War II to cope
- The "Little America" scene that broke her
- Epigenetics and inherited trauma
- Why men have no concept of the fear women carry
- The 2009 Tea Party moment that predicted all of this
- Robert Reich's call for business, religious, and institutional leaders to speak up
- Why Chris has no hope those leaders will

This is the rawest we've been. It's also the most necessary. For people who feel like they're taking crazy pills and need to know they're not alone.

Content Warning: Discussions of potential violence, ICE raids, family estrangement, and realistic fear about American democracy.

Resources mentioned:
- Robert Reich's Substack: "The Emergency Is Now"
- Heather Cox Richardson's Letters from an American

====================

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🖥️ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@BeHerePod

📱 Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/im-not-even-supposed-to-be-here-today/id1867373928

🎧 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3bypMpSmcoIjt4bHk0nvzz?si=18eab826d1394fd9

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Sponsored by Bearing 287

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