[ep 10] SOC=stream of conciousness episode.

me unfiltered with no episode plan. just speaking my mind in what I can see now in retrospect was an anxiety episode. a night where I am so sick of feeling like shit. I'm trying my best to do better for myself and things go up and up and then I am back at the bottom again. how many times can I hit the bottom and still have the energy to get up?

I'll let you into my psyche during this moment. you know why? because when I am going crazy, it would be nice to know that other people were going crazy too. I hope this makes you feel less alone in your crazy

I talk about God, catastrophizing during anxious moments, my brain being convinced I can think my way out of my problems (when thinking only makes things worse), the war between 'what I think I should do' vs. 'what actually helps', deescalating from an anxiety episode, and lows being a fire under your ass that give you motivation

you're awesome for listening and know that you are my friend and are not alone.