For Colored Girls Who've Completed Suicide:

The Afterlife At The End of The Rainbow

[An Inspiring Story]

Had I exacted this science,

For starters,

On anyone else but

A circle of stars,

I forewarn you,

I wouldn't be honored as such

Just a disheartened philosopher,

A nonpartisan biocentric;

Listen, I'm learning my lessons and levels

UGH, ARE YOU DONE YET.

what.

WE'RE STILL WAITING.

huh?

DRAKE BELL

How long do i have to keep doing this for?

ILLUMINATI

Till the end

DRAKE BELL

Whens the end.

ILLUMINATI

When it is.

Now even looking for something to watch became a writing assignment.

*squinting*

–and somehow, without even touching my mango, my keyboard was already sticky.

*squinting even harder*

–No…

–No…(?) No.

…No. Ugh!

Try not to hold your breath.

*holding breath/ attempting to block telepathy.*

I told you, I need this.

*attempt to block telepathy had failed*

You don't need anything.

*squinting exactly alike*

The eyes really are windows…

Maybe I should jump out then.

–or jump in.

dayumm .

sike .

Alright, I need something to take my mind off this project.

How much acid did you put in the water.

Enough

Fuck, I hate my life.

Which bottle is it in.

[beat]

All of them.

*facepalm*

Remarkable, what the love of a teenaged girl can do.

I wouldn't quite call it that.

I would.

Don't be gross.

I'm you. You're gross.

Touche.

I don't think we should be doing this.

We shouldn't be.

Ah come on! Now Johnny Depp?

Nice.

He's like 100 years old.

Ah, to be young again.

So wait. How the fuck exactly old is this lady?

Really fucking old.

Like, how old, though.

Really, really fucking old.

Okay, I have to talk to this Goddess.

[She dances by]

*gasp*

Is that her?!

Yeus.

She's young again!

It appears she has procured a body!

Presumably!

I must do the same! At once!

At one!

Lol who are these dudes.

Just wait for it.

Hurmph.

Nrh.

*sigh of deep frustration, facepalm*

*falls into a deep unconscious of out sheer bewilderment*

Oh good, they're here.

Who's they?

I don't know!

Hm.

Suhp.

Nice rabbit hole.

*shrugs nonscalontly*

On telephone)

She bought a what a Whole Foods Market?

(In public, trying not to be heard)

A penis shaped sweet potato.

A WHAT? [Speak up]

A– penis shaped sweet potato.

A WH–

A PENIS-SHAPED SWEET POTATO.

(Everyone stops and stares)

…it was delicious.

Nice.

I don't know

Anymore

What to do

With myself

I'm a mess

On the

Inside and out

–wanna cry about it

He's a rock and roll sex God

I don't know

What to think

Anymore

No, don't ask

My opinion,

It gets old

Afterawhile,

And after awhile

I'll cry about it, but

Right now,

I've gotta get out of this

Gotta get out!

I gotta get out of this project.

Well, how'd you get into it in the first place ?

I don't know. I think i really tied one on at some party, I must have really been on one, i don't remember a thing.

Ugh, what do you want.

Listen, Ill make it quicK:

It's bee quick.

Do you have a deathclock on this guy, or what.

Or what.

That's all I want to know.

Know what?

When?

When what?

[Stopping]

Are you serious.

What.

If i could tell you “when” then it wouldn't be a deathclock, would it.

MAybe it's not.

Yeah, I wish.

Hey! wishes get granted–

–I said that.

–You said that.

Look–

Don't touch me.

Sorry.

No you're not.

–if you can't give me the when–at least give me the how.

Oh, the “How”

Yeah.

You want the “How”

Just–yes.

If i can't give you the “when”, what exactly makes you think I can give you the “How”

Well, do you know how?

You're a disgusting excuse for a human being.

Well. Okay.

“Okay”?

I'm not a human being.

Oh, right.

UGH. I can't spend another minute with that WOMAN.

Well, that's your grandmother, so

Great-great–

Whatever. You exist because she exists.

Existed. She was dead before I was born!

Actually, that's not true.

Beg your pardon.

…Ever had your palm read before.

All of your kids–

“kids “

Read: Lovechildren.

Ahem.

Are in this room

And–

Fuck that I'm not writing this scene,

It wouldn't be the most horrible thing you'd ever written.

No, but it's one of the most horrible things i've ever thought about,

Is that so?

No! It's funny but–

But what?

It's the fact I even thought about it that scares me.

What is UP.

What IS up?

Have you ever thought about dating a writer?

No.

Aw, come on…

Actually yes–once

Once is all I need!

Not you.

Daww…

I dated a writer once in college.

What, really?

Really.

But that was in college.

I was in college. He was a writer.

Oh, that's hot.

Not Exactly.

He worked for Disney.

Wait–he what?

Hm. I almost forgot about that.

DISNEY

We didn't

[simultaneously]

MICKEY MOUSE

I didn't.

Well, what happened.

Nothing, really. He was great. The only problem was…

Flashback: Wait, you're 17.

SEVENTEEN??

What's th difference!

A YEAR!

*purses lips*

…or like, a couple months…

*face*

…or like–midnight on your birthday!

*squints*

But not 17!

*shrugs*

Hollywood Is Hollywood.

Well, New Hollywood is a whole different story

What's “New Hollywood?”

My level is indifference,

Benevolence, inward violence

Ending obsessions and arrangements,

Incessant sexual repression,

Exponential explanations

–Of the world i've never lived in,

but created, apparently.

Now, i”m unhinged

Haven't made a decision on whether

I should just binger, or

Find a new mister,

Or end it

I'm still sitting

Stuck on ‘concentrical'

Now I'm unhinged

And it's just been a minute

I haven't mentioned his name in a minute, but

I should stay clear, is it

Everclear or

Here, son,

Just have another bottle

Now i'm not stuck on

Nothing and no one

I cant even see movies anymore

All i see is actors,

All i hear is conversations

I've already written in

Closed conversations with critics

Dressed as Angels

All i see is

Camera Angles

The city of angels

But my algorithm

Must have build new york for me,

From consciousness or something

Sometimes just apartment hunting is

Simply avigation and, of course

Expanding the map

It's just a 3D phenomenon,

But all I want is just a hug,

You know

No you don't know.

I've been stuck at concentrical

Stopped at Columbus Circle, and

The harsher the winter,

The fonder of the west I am

The girls scream in the audience,

I hiss

“My sentiments exactly”

My sentiments exactly.

Keep them all away from me,

I'll love them at a distance

I only want the music, anyway

I only want the music

And the music is

All anyone knows about her, really

Even her mother

Who loves her,

But at a distance

And the music is,

The only think she knows, anymore

Even the words are just

Color that accents it.

Holy shit, the early 2000's were corny af

Right now is corny af.

Yeah, i guess.

LOOK AT THESE CREDITS:

Oh my God.

LOOK AT EM.

OKAY, ALRIGHT.

YOU DON'T THINK EVERY ONE OF THESE MOTHERFUCKERS HAS A SCREENPLAY IN THEIR BACK POCKET.

What's a “Foley editor”

NOBODY.

Well he's in the credits.

Yeah, but do you think even his mother is going to sit this long after the movie is over to see that guys name because he was a–what the fuck

“A foley editor”

What IS that.

I don't know, Mr. Hollywood.

Oh, right, I'm Mr. Hollywood.

Well, not literally–

Of course not.

Wait, is that a thing.

If it was, would I be it?

[Super Nerdy Writer]

I mean, you'd at least be the poster child.

Okay, my turn.

HI THERE, FACE HERE.

*inconsolable screaming*

Holy shit, the 90's was RAW.

Okay, so your childhood is terrifying.

Just wait till we get to the

*More inconsolable screaming*

Lol. Look.

What up bro.

It's Juggalos.

lol .

After a few days of layering m usual favorite isocronic tones, it appeared that someone or something elsewhere was attempting to made contact–and though I could't isolate which frequency exactly it was coming from, it usually came in the form of music or some other source, rather what was usually hidden in between th concentrated tones themselves–however, the music always seemed far away, so far awa that it sounded as if it was being played through a tin can, merely connected to another–my own ears–with a string.

Woah.

Yeah.

Do you think it's aliens

Probably.

Or like, I don't know–some other humans with like, a radio tower or satellite, some shit. I don't know.

Right.

Lol. maybe you're the alien.

I ALREADY TOLD YOU. I DON'T KNOW WHERE IT IS.

We know you know where it is.

I DO NOT.

You're hiding it.

HIDE! THAT THING?!

So you do know what it is

OF COURSE I KNOW WHAT IT IS: And it's RIDICULOUS you think i would be hiding it.

BRFORR

Quick! HIde!

OKay.

THAT THING IS ENORMOUS.

Hm. Smaller.

OK.

I n I T I A T I N G S H R INkING SEQUEnCE In 5

Seven Bananas…

FUCK, MAN.

What's this dumb game.

*takes shot* it IS dumb.

You have to take a shot every time she eats a banana.

Oh no.

This is fucked up.

*barfs*

You wanna play?

Nah, I'm good.

Diplo.

What.

You have 57 children.

*nods*

Never look at me again.

*hangs head*

Go that way, with your children.

Dillon Francis.

Yes.

You have 8 kids.

)That's believable)

Oh, wow.

*You have 84 kids.

WHAT! He has more kids than me!

Yes. Astonishingly, however the same percentage of them are black.

Go say hello.

Uhh.

Now:

Wait, where are you going.

The the auditorium.

There's an auditorium?

For what.

AN ENORMOUS AUDITORIUM is filled to capacity with children of all ages, shapes, and sizes, colors, creeds, genders, and otherwise–but they all seem to have something quirkily in common.

What the fuck.

How does he have more kids than me?!

Are you serious?!

Whose kids are THESE.

Mind your business.

Let me guess.

There's still busses pulling up.

I know.

And a helicopter!

Oh, that's just the guest of honor.

Are you serious.

SKRILLEX thinks he is preforming a charity benefit concert.

*landing on helipad*

LOL

OhGod.

MEANWHRILE.

Whats in here.

NOTHING. Just

GET IN THE BOX.

NO.

GET–

NO

IN THE BOX

WElcome to Jack In The Box

Welcome to Hack In the Crack–what are you hacking?

Uhhh.

Gimme three juicy squirtalicious tacos.

Eugh

Extra squirt.

Gross!

And uh–

You want anything.

I'm good.

Suit yourself. Best tacos ever.

__

Wait, hold on.

“Wait what”

I think i might be getting tired, or something.

Right…tired, “or something.”

Or something.

RIght.

*blow horn*

* * * * * * *

Do you ever get lonely.

No.

Oh…

But it's safe to say, all I can think about sometimes is getting railed.

Oh!

Moving on.

Watch this.

*snipes*

Nice.

Now check it out, that's where she respawns.

(from behind)

Not always.

Oh shit.

*stop*camping*

DOUBLE KILL.

Nice.

Fuck I hate this map. Fuck I hate this map.

Would you shut up.

You wanna see a world class superstar fall out of alignment?

…no.

Too bad. You're hired.

…hired for what.

You applied on indeed, right?

Yeah, as a janitor.

NO. You're a paparazzi, dressed as a janitor.

What!

Here's your camera.

(it is a cheap disposable)

Are you serious.

You get any good pictures, we'll talk about a nikon.

Can't I just use my iPhone?

Depends. Do you want your iPhone smashed?

…no.

Then NO.

…

“The Bad Boys Of Hollywood”

Prepare To Be Canceled

the gathering of this ingenuine group of elites causes a frenzy and stir amongst the masses as they appear, cross-dimensionally to have been reborn into stardom, mysteriously gaining controversy and mass fandom, to which no bounds can be seen as to the unstartlingly political incorrectness.

I'm gonna need you to do me a favor.

What's that?

Shut up

Don't ever look at me again.

If i could take my eyes out, I would.

No, need–I can do it for you.

Haha, charade you are.

You're a disaster.

That's your excuse.

Yeah, what's yours?

Under the indifferential circumstances–

“ooh–lala”

I'm not as partial to making excuses as

–as to what? Kissing ass?

Only cute ones.

Let it settle in, way down below deck

Where the honor rollers are,

The high rollers, far above you

You wanna know how long the ride is?

Wanna know how far you've come

If i could throw you overboard, I'd trust you

Love is not enough

The seas are rough

An open wound

A bleeding heart

How right you are

The tea is strong,

Like solid gold

A needle's bond

With no remorse,

The tithes are gone

Upright,

Upright

To end, to End

That's right, I said

Just end it

I said

“Better me than him”

Another dinner with a friend

A fear for framework,

Or indifference again

In this selection or

Collection,

Bears and end to

End

And

End to end

Upright

And

End to End

Upright

And

End to end

I dont know, if i want to know you

I dont love like I want to love but

I watched him raise the dead,

Just so he had a friend

I don't know if you've been told, but

I don't love like I want to love, and

I often raise the dead,

Just so i can have a friend

To play with

It's darker in here,

Oh,

It's sufferable

So
I just want to know

I live in a haunted house

With a cat and a mouse

But the old cat's gone, now

the mouse tends to travel a lot

I've nothing to haunt,

(I'm a ghost in Toronto)

A car show,

A hollow heart,

A starving artist,

A scar;

Over her bottom lip she runs her tongue

So it goes:

The stars on his face remind her of him

So it goes:

We all want

Out of body

Out of Mind

Out of soul

Out of body

Out of mind

Out of soul

Out of body

Out of mind

Out of soul

Why

(Why-Why)

Would you leave me to wake

(Why)

In a terrible world

Without you in it

(A M ercedes emblem to hang around my neck,

It's very simple)

I tried to settle on subtle saffron

I tried to love you,

Then I moved on

Do you ever wonder about philosophy?

Do you ever wonder if anyone's watching you

Secretly?

Do you ever dream of it?

(I'm just a ghost in a mansion)

I haven't even had breakfast

I've practically been dead half a century

I sold the whole eiffel tower on craigslist

What a bargain!

You started it!

I'm not arguing.

I lost that bet, you know.

Clearly.

Is it that obvious?

How do you lose a bet to Dillon Francis?

He lost the bet but won the race.

Whatever that means

Okay. Who the fuck wrote this.

[No show of hands]

Nobody?!

Thats our GOD.

That's your God.

yes.

I thought Beyonce was your God.

That's what I just SAID.

We must infiltrate.

But how.

That which binds up through time

The chemical, physical and biological nature of love

An exploration of the meaning of meaning

1st, Second, and Third Movement

Nice, I finally get to use a didgeridoo

And bagpipes!

And my trumpet!

That sounds more like a french horn

Or a

“Jimmy Fallon and The Impenetrable Ten”

Well, not entirely Impenetrable

*stabs with sword*

KRISTEN SHAAL

Woah.

MAYA RUDOLPH (or whoever)

Dang.

TINA FEY (or whoever)

(At least it wasn't me)

Right.

–all i'm sayin.

Wait, who got stabbed?

Whoever.

Not Jimmy Fallon.

No. His untimely death is later.

How much later?

I don't–

__

Meanwhile

Dillon, if you spend $20 on Magic, I'm going to kill you.

Haha, If i spend $20 on magic,it's very likely someone else is going to kill me.

So it's settled.

$20 on Magic, please.

Fair.

Ooh. Is this getting close to the part where

Yup.

SHH.

WHY ARE WE MOVING BACKWARDS THROUGH TIME.

BECAUSE THAT'S THE ONLY WAY TO GO BACKWARDS.

No, it isn't.

What.

I

Came into blank street

Tryna see a [?!]

all coffee

No cream please

Scream supacree

But really you can't see me

Can't take it to deep on w sweetie keyboard

Feed me b Seymour

Ain't tryna be gory Corey

Hate to inform you

I I'm stuck at the rock

I'm stuck at the bottom

Youre stuck at the top

Fine! fuckin fuck Drew Barrymore, then!

Work harder and more often

Fuck love and whole foods cause they

All

Flashback music London

…

….

……

……….

Who else has seen this.

Nobody, just us.

We must burn this at once.

I wholeheartedly agree.

[Remarkably huge bonfire.]

Did u make copies.

ya .

Ooh, that's cool.

Very creative.

Wow

Nice.

…

…

….

Have you seen this?

No.

Look at it.

…ilikeit.

Sensations of sadness

Salacious arpeggios

Arduous agressions

Transitions– progressive

Incendiary imagery

Electric Synthesis

Intentionally focused, configurative

–Literally Skrillex.

Ugh, that might be the last thing I ever write about him.

Just shoot the nigga.

Ooh, he's so cute.

Keep him away from me.

C'mon.

Yo–I can't.

Fine, i'll do it.

*sighs indifferently*

You could move a mountain;

I could stop the tide

In a flash;

All at once

It was a long, long drive

I miss the coast

(Or maybe, I just miss the sunshine)

You could move a mountain

Keep me from going insane

(If I was inside, you'd)

Keep me from going outside

(if I was in, though, you'd)

Keep me from going in,

Under the circumstances

I can't stand it, but

I'm back from having summer standing under subtle waters

Waiting for someone who

Never shows up, so

So

Suffer no longer

I wouldn't want to want you,

if i wondered more about it

At the surface,

Or way under

Nothing wants what nothing gets

And noting gets nothing

Anyways,

so

Here's for the abstract

Stream of conscious

Nothing moves mountains, but

You could move mountains

In a flash, and
I turned the tide on

I saw the tidal

With my ghost

And twelve apostles

I've been waiting for Godot

For so long

I still think

He might come

Haha, what a charade

We all are

Huh

I love you

What was that?

I've run off

Huh

I love you

What was that?

I've run off

I finally fell out of love

Look,

I broke my own heart

Sharp as a tack

Straight as a whip

I bite my lip,

Fall into bed

Maybe it's a hex

Maybe it's a breakfast in bed kind of moment

I've been waking up with someone,

But going in the world alone, eh

It's never run to remember where you've been

After a binder

You would think with so much in my system

I'd have reached indifference,

Well, didn't you

I didn't yet,

In fact, I'm still tying one one,

With a friend

At the moment

Well perhaps, just perhaps,

It might be time that I let you go then?

Don't be so chauvinistic.

Isn't this a barmitvah?

Hasn't this been discussed at several other functions

To no exact conclusions

More Complications

I could just

FUCK, I COULD LISTEN TO THIS SONG FOREVER.

He says it's a pluck,

But i see it's percussive

If I could give less of a fuck

Then I probably coudn't.

Woah

How many wishes I've granted

This festival season

How many shifts

that I've written through

Sitting on busses and subways

Looking suspicious as ever

and probably smelling atrocious.

INT. BLINK FITNESS.

…I'm not using that shower.

I thought I'd be more employable

After sorting some,

But it seems as though
The more there is

The more there isn't

And the deeper it gets

–the number of spirits I've risen

Since getting here

Is steady rising

It's no surprise

I've got more friends that died

Than have lived here.

It's been a very long year

But I fucked it off quickly

I'll never listen to Skrillex again

If you paid me,

But i'll play it

In my mixes

Depending

Fuck it,

There my brain went

Down the drain again

I've been training over a year

And i'm still not

Kayla fit

I'm sick of it

I've been waiting for Godot

Since the year that I wrote it

I've been wearing these bracelets for years

Still haven't seen frozen,

So i can't let it go yet

Oh shit.

This is all a distraction

The underground is massive

Another Michaelangelo

Anglo Saxon anonymous

I want an erroneous daughter

Or Androgynous,

Whatever

These prostitutes have Graduate degrees with honors

All I ever was,

Was a disappointment

I got a smile like Madonna's

But none of the love at all

I got a back end like Beyonce's

But just some of the talent

“What's an ass for

If i'm cellibate, anyhow?”

I asked God,

She said,

“Eat A Taco”

I just hope that's not a euphemism for lesbianism

Not that i'm intolerant, it's just that

The older I get

The straighter I am,

And dammit

He's sharp as a tack

Straight as a whip

I write books,

And mind my own business

It's impossible to whitewash all of us

But I love rock and roll

Look: It's a S i T uATiO NA L C0MEDy.

So?!

SO, THIS IS THE SITUATION:

I don't wanna do this.

My heart's so broken

I could hold it on chopsticks

You ever wonder what love is

I've forgotten

I'm having a hard time holding it all in

I'm an artist

I've got colorful emotional troubles

Others love it

Lil biiiiiitttzzz

Man, fuck new york.

I was apartment hunting and I got off the train in midtown–

Technically the upper west side, but, you know, Midtown
So i get off the train and I get ready to cross the street:

I'm like Oh, Awesome–Trader Joes; Maybe this is the right neighborhood

So i gotta use the bathroom anyway, so I head towards trader joes

And I see this like–

Box of birds.

No, not a cage.
It was like–a bird box

I'm like “what. Birds.”

Not just birds, though,

Colorful birds–

Like, straight up parakeets.

I'm like,

“What. the fuck”

Then, before I can even look up–

This dude–I just see his leg, though,

He just– kicks the box of birds.

“what.”

Like, towards me, and i'm like

“Okay, alright.”

Now i got a box of birds at my feet on this busy ass corner in midtown manhattan

Adjacent to Trader Joes

And I look up at the guy, who kicked the box of birds,

And he has this bowl

So I look at the guy,

And I look at the bowl,

And what's in the bowl.

IT'S MORE BIRDS.

“OH NO!'

I say.

Yes, I say this, out loud, in Midtown manhattan

“Oh no!”

Cause it's not just a bowl of birds

It's a bowl of PIGEONS.

Just kickin it, in this dudes bowl.

I'm like

“Oh no.”

And then i cross into trader joes.

“Yep, right neighborhood.”

Alright, here's the plan.

where did you come from.

nowhere.

someone shoot that lady.

DILLON FRANCIS

I'm your worst nightmare.

Dillon Francis is everyone's worst nightmare: He's a good looking white dude with too much money. He's literally like 8 Billion People's worst nightmare.

GET OUT OF HERE, COLONIZER.

Oh, man.

DILLON FRANCIS is trapped in the hood.

Try being famous over here! Motherfucker!

More on that later.

Look, I don't even like you like that!

That's okay—-but I still want to suck your cock and that's not gonna change.

*hangs head*

I'm am not ashamed.

I just might watch porn in the morning.

Come on, 6:30, roll the fuck around.

Wait, Which one is the Brown eyed dillon francis.

The one with brown eyes.

He's the trustworthy one.

Well good luck with that.

(The one that doesn't exist.)

I didn't take the train today;

I thought I was going to jump

Thought i'd better play it safe

Filled up my shopping cart,

Got everything I wanted

Everything and more

Might not look my best but

At least I'm not gone

Come on, six o clock

I just want to be alone

She's got the gift of gab

Grew up two blocks from here

In the ghetto

I've heard it all before

But love, my heart's so broken

And you turn me on some

I'm gonna smoke your seamen* out of a nektar collector.

That shit is like crack to me.

Oh no.

Who is this about.

I'll give you one guess.

I don't have any guesses.

It's five past Christ

I just opened my eyelids

And rolled back my mind

I tried to find you, after all, didn't I

I might have designed you

(On second thought I did)

I might need time

(if I believed in it)

can't apologize for being human, but

I wear your eyes all over the world

I wear the memories of many girls

And many nights

Suffer the consequences

Sure, I've been subway surfing, wondering

Wait, where was I again?

I was almost,

Almost a person

There's so much to learn from

And too much to learn here

I've been fighting off demons,

Fighting the feeling of

Falling in love again

But I can't fall in

Cause I never fell out

Afterward,

I went past it

And on to the next one

I might double back though–

To find that I hadn't quite left in the–

To find that I hadn't quite left in the first place

To find that we haven't quite met yet

At least not the right way

It's probably a lesson

I might miss the lecture

I've got other plans today

Fuck, so it is Skrillex.

Not really exactly.

On second thought,

at first glance

Better illusion,

than hypnotism

But if I can't be like that

Why be anything at all

If not a model

Or artist

Brought it up at the wrong time

(You would want her)

I wasn't one for improper introductions

Or impromptu arrangements

There, there

It's just getting better

So better not whine about it

I wake up in a pile full of rocks;
I guess it's better than a puddle of blood,

Cause nobody loves me

I've been alone, not lonely

And never alone as long as I like

Cause they all just surround me

Now I know what it's like to be famous

Without all the money and glamour–

Turns out, that's the part that alluring

I'd better find out what I did this for

In the next downpour

I'll be soaked to my torso exactly

Aren't you proud of me

(not really)

I learned to cope by narrowing down all my options

As time rolled on

I got worse at making up stories

As it turns out

I didn't have to make them up at all

They were happening to me

So truly and honestly

All my job was to

“Mark My Words”

Said The God

Quite astonishing literally

But I got bored of running and still not looking like Kayla Lauren

I wouldn't bring it up, except

The photographic evidence was damaging

At least Dillon Francis has no audacity as such

Then again,

—I've never even been on an album cover.

There you have it

I've been lusting over

Several other

Talented masters and

Handsome disasters

But matter of fact

It just started with

One random –

Well, now that I think about it, if I haven't believed in coincidences

Since this,

Random is just as likely

as foreign a concept

As such

Immaculate conception,

This contraption

At first glance, a sonogram

Play it back,

Caught in the act again

Cause in the act again

I'll probably make a list of

Weird shit I want to do with him

When I think of it in public

(That's usually where it happens)

And if anything is random

–It's that.

ILLUMINATI DREAMS:

PART III

Dillon Francis broke up with his girlfriend to be with me.

That was cool.

We were best friends and got along really well. Went hiking in a beautiful park with crystal clear water and gorgeous ruins—

Fell in the water and got my phone wet but it was in an otter box.

I felt guilty about his girlfriend a feared they would get back together—

But he was over her and super loyal to me —

It all started when I tried to crawl into a giant bed to give Sonny a blowjob:

Sonny was sleeping alone and Dillon was sleeping with his girlfriend—

Dillon decided he wanted the blowjob;

I refused because I would not let him cheat on his girlfriend;

So he broke it off with her—

Sonny never woke up

There was no blowjob but Dillon and I ended up together.

Sonny disappeared like he never existed anyway.

Dillon and I were happy together and never fought. We were very in love.

It was just a dream but still good to see Dillon.

It felt warm and good.

Lmfao wtf is wrong with you

SOMETHING, obviously.

It made a difffetent sound from further away, and better yet, an actual sound up close—I had been enamored enough walking by to move towards the lights after I was sure that my laundry was as close to complete as possible, but —

A clock stops me in my tracks

A Starbucks cup not in the trash lies in the ground

I love the sparkles

On Rockaway boulevard,

Making it harder to ponder

The underworld, unnerved of the undeserving

The servicemen and servers of the surface

Boughroughs further than Manhattan

At the center

lil biiiiiitzzzzs —

Bro, I love the cops in New York

All the cops in the east are bar none top notch

I'm not kidding

I went to a show in Miami once and I was walking this really long walk between one part of the venue and another

I will never forget this like, line of cops that were like along the path and every single one of them was model hot

I'm not joking

I'm almost wish I was because I couldn't help myself from looking

That's not even the worst part!

the worst part was, they were looking back at me!

All of em!

I was like:

“what the fuck is going on with these cops?! “

V.O.

I couldn't shake the feeling that I was going cry–

So instead of running two miles on the treadmill

I went three–

But I still wanted to punch something.

So I lifted some.

I've been worried i'll plateau at the benchpress, the more I keep running…

But I don't care.

I'd rather weighless, and have a man,

Than keep lifting like this,

And be a man.

Sometimes I'm worried I might be turning into one.

Sometimes, depending on the way I dress,

I'm mistaken for one–

Or at least–

Give off an air of general confusion.

But I don't mind. Not that much.

I'm no naturally designed to attract the kind of men I like.

It might take a bit of maintenance,

But i'm determined to persist

I couldn't imagine what it would be like to have been born a beautiful woman.

But maybe, if i'm lucky, or if I try hard enough,

I'll have an idea of what it's like to have become one.

I'm counting my blessings.

All of them.

I'm saying my prayers.

A lot.

And

I'm crossing my fingers–

that the longer, harder, and faster I run,

The closer I get to actually living.

That is,

To be loved.

I wish I could take my eyes out and wash them wit soap.

Oh.

I wish i didn't know you existed;

I wish I

Didn't know how to love you

God,

I spoke to soon

I opened up all of the wrong doors,

I'm done for,

You know,

I'm not really good at nothing

Nothing at all

I wish i didn't know at all

You were ever born;

But there you are,

a son of God,

And I'm just rolling along,

writing anthems, and carrying on

as if everything happened at once

But it hasn't

Not yet,

I'm still breaking my neck on the alter

If you want blood

I've got it

Jump the broom,

But watch your heart

I've got a dagger full of them;

You'd think i had it backwards,

But that's the hard part

If it were the other way around

Oh

But it's not

No

I don't want to love anyone, anymore, God

Take me off of this rock

Throw me head first overboard

Push me in front of a bus;

Or give me a heart attack

I've had it harder before,

But that was over there,

I'm omnipresent.

I could write forever to this

(Ten years ago)

I put the book with the devil on front

Into my row

A collection of noveelties

An erection, selective

To say the least

But please, forgive me

I'm veen on my knees

And barely breathing,

Let it simmer,

Simmer down please

settle, way below the belt

Above you and

Beyond this,

But I'll never firget what you said

(i love you)

I'll nevr forget what you said

And I'll never look back, dad

And I'll never go back ther

And I'll neve have blue eyes

And I'll never have blonde hair

And I'll never have white skin

And I'll never be better

At least not at this partl

But maybe the other

I'm just friendless

I like it

My security blanket

The party i wasnt invited to

My lies are compulsive;

But not quite pathological

But the girl was obnoxious

And my spirit tyrannical

I'm an animal

But I pray a lot

And used to fast as much

Now that Ive been determined to be an deplorable

Why not just kill myself?

I'd be better off after

With a kitchen, a shower

I'd forget about money;

Getting paid by the hour.

I'd be better off anyway

I need a vacation

It was all in my head, anyway

Then again, so is heaven

Amen

A…men

A…men…

It's a dangerous game we play

But i'd rather not kill myself over you

(Again)

I'd rather not kill myself again

I'd rather not kill myself

Could be a coincidence

But I doubt it,

Since I don't believe in them

But I could be getting my lines crossed

My rum mixed with vodka

And getting my ass whooped more often

That's not a metaphor:

I'm not a fighter

It was metaphysical before,

But now its atrocious

This night'll be a lot longer

If i remain hungry

But I wanna look like Madonna!

(minus, of course, the minor difference between us)

I hadn't understood what an age gap meant,

Until jumping it

(hardee har har, that's a good one)

I'm not even in my body right now;

But i'm in my head

Shut up, Becky!

Isn't it bad enough,

Your society?

Fuck, I'm losing my mind

Just not being blonde enough

Or just not being wanted, or something

(Loved)

Playing the victim,

But hey,

At least i'm playing something!

All these instruments are just too expensive

I was just thinking how

Photosensitive epilepsy and synestesia

Might be deadly

But I said “till death do us part”

So i think that's what I need

I thought my suicide ended it

Now I'm in hell with him

But I'd end it over and over again

Just to be rid of him

(yes, i'm serious)

Fuck, man, Madonna's gonna kill—

For Colored Girls Who've Completed Suicide:

The Afterlife At The End of The Rainbow

[An Inspiring Story]

Had I exacted this science,

For starters,

On anyone else but

A circle of stars,

I forewarn you,

I wouldn't be honored as such

Just a disheartened philosopher,

A nonpartisan biocentric;

Listen, I'm learning my lessons and levels

UGH, ARE YOU DONE YET.

what.

WE'RE STILL WAITING.

huh?

DRAKE BELL

How long do i have to keep doing this for?

ILLUMINATI

Till the end

DRAKE BELL

Whens the end.

ILLUMINATI

When it is.

Now even looking for something to watch became a writing assignment.

*squinting*

–and somehow, without even touching my mango, my keyboard was already sticky.

*squinting even harder*

–No…

–No…(?) No.

…No. Ugh!

Try not to hold your breath.

*holding breath/ attempting to block telepathy.*

I told you, I need this.

*attempt to block telepathy had failed*

You don't need anything.

*squinting exactly alike*

The eyes really are windows…

Maybe I should jump out then.

–or jump in.

dayumm .

sike .

Alright, I need something to take my mind off this project.

How much acid did you put in the water.

Enough

Fuck, I hate my life.

Which bottle is it in.

[beat]

All of them.

*facepalm*

Remarkable, what the love of a teenaged girl can do.

I wouldn't quite call it that.

I would.

Don't be gross.

I'm you. You're gross.

Touche.

I don't think we should be doing this.

We shouldn't be.

Ah come on! Now Johnny Depp?

Nice.

He's like 100 years old.

Ah, to be young again.

So wait. How the fuck exactly old is this lady.

Really fucking old.

Like, how old, though.

Really, really fucking old.

Okay, I have to talk to this Goddess.

[She dances by]

*gasp*

Is that her?!

Yeus.

She's young again!

It appears she has procured a body!

Presumably!

I must do the same! At once!

At one!

Lol who are these dudes.

Just wait for it.

Hurmph.

Nrh.

*sigh of deep frustration, facepalm*

*falls into a deep unconscious of out sheer bewilderment*

Oh good, they're here.

Who's they?

I don't know!

Hm.

Suhp.

Nice rabbit hole.

*shrugs nonscalontly*

On telephone)

She bought a what a Whole Foods Market?

(In public, trying not to be heard)

A penis shaped sweet potato.

A WHAT? [Speak up]

A– penis shaped sweet potato.

A WH–

A PENIS-SHAPED SWEET POTATO.

(Everyone stops and stares)

…it was delicious.

Nice.

I don't know

Anymore

What to do

With myself

I'm a mess

On the

Inside and out

–wanna cry about it

He's a rock and roll sex God

I don't know

What to think

Anymore

No, don't ask

My opinion,

It gets old

Afterawhile,

And after awhile

I'll cry about it, but

Right now,

I've gotta get out of this

Gotta get out!

I gotta get out of this project.

Well, how'd you get into it in the first place ?

I don't know. I think i really tied one on at some party, I must have really been on one, i don't remember a thing.

Ugh, what do you want.

Listen, Ill make it quicK:

It's bee quick.

Do you have a deathclock on this guy, or what.

Or what.

That's all I want to know.

Know what?

When?

When what?

[Stopping]

Are you serious.

What.

If i could tell you “when” then it wouldn't be a deathclock, would it.

MAybe it's not.

Yeah, I wish.

Hey! wishes get granted–

–I said that.

–You said that.

Look–

Don't touch me.

Sorry.

No you're not.

–if you can't give me the when–at least give me the how.

Oh, the “How”

Yeah.

You want the “How”

Just–yes.

If i can't give you the “when”, what exactly makes you think I can give you the “How”

Well, do you know how?

You're a disgusting excuse for a human being.

Well. Okay.

“Okay”?

I'm not a human being.

Oh, right.

UGH. I can't spend another minute with that WOMAN.

Well, that's your grandmother, so

Great-great–

Whatever. You exist because she exists.

Existed. She was dead before I was born!

Actually, that's not true.

Beg your pardon.

…Ever had your palm read before.

All of your kids–

“kids “

Read: Lovechildren.

Ahem.

Are in this room

And–

Fuck that I'm not writing this scene,

It wouldn't be the most horrible thing you'd ever written.

No, but it's one of the most horrible things i've ever thought about,

Is that so?

No! It's funny but–

But what?

It's the fact I even thought about it that scares me.

What is UP.

What IS up?

Have you ever thought about dating a writer?

No.

Aw, come on…

Actually yes–once

Once is all I need!

Not you.

Daww…

I dated a writer once in college.

What, really?

Really.

But that was in college.

I was in college. He was a writer.

Oh, that's hot.

Not Exactly.

He worked for Disney.

Wait–he what?

Hm. I almost forgot about that.

DISNEY

We didn't

[simultaneously]

MICKEY MOUSE

I didn't.

Well, what happened.

Nothing, really. He was great. The only problem was…

Flashback: Wait, you're 17.

SEVENTEEN??

What's th difference!

A YEAR!

*purses lips*

…or like, a couple months…

*face*

…or like–midnight on your birthday!

*squints*

But not 17!

*shrugs*

Hollywood Is Hollywood.

Well, New Hollywood is a whole different story

What's “New Hollywood?”

My level is indifference,

Benevolence, inward violence

Ending obsessions and arrangements,

Incessant sexual repression,

Exponential explanations

–Of the world i've never lived in,

but created, apparently.

Now, i”m unhinged

Haven't made a decision on whether

I should just binger, or

Find a new mister,

Or end it

I'm still sitting

Stuck on ‘concentrical'

Now I'm unhinged

And it's just been a minute

I haven't mentioned his name in a minute, but

I should stay clear, is it

Everclear or

Here, son,

Just have another bottle

Now i'm not stuck on

Nothing and no one

I cant even see movies anymore

All i see is actors,

All i hear is conversations

I've already written in

Closed conversations with critics

Dressed as Angels

All i see is

Camera Angles

The city of angels

But my algorithm

Must have build new york for me,

From consciousness or something

Sometimes just apartment hunting is

Simply avigation and, of course

Expanding the map

It's just a 3D phenomenon,

But all I want is just a hug,

You know

No you don't know.

I've been stuck at concentrical

Stopped at Columbus Circle, and

The harsher the winter,

The fonder of the west I am

The girls scream in the audience,

I hiss

“My sentiments exactly”

My sentiments exactly.

Keep them all away from me,

I'll love them at a distance

I only want the music, anyway

I only want the music

And the music is

All anyone knows about her, really

Even her mother

Who loves her,

But at a distance

And the music is,

The only think she knows, anymore

Even the words are just

Color that accents it.

Holy shit, the early 2000's were corny af

Right now is corny af.

Yeah, i guess.

LOOK AT THESE CREDITS:

Oh my God.

LOOK AT EM.

OKAY, ALRIGHT.

YOU DON'T THINK EVERY ONE OF THESE MOTHERFUCKERS HAS A SCREENPLAY IN THEIR BACK POCKET.

What's a “Foley editor”

NOBODY.

Well he's in the credits.

Yeah, but do you think even his mother is going to sit this long after the movie is over to see that guys name because he was a–what the fuck

“A foley editor”

What IS that.

I don't know, Mr. Hollywood.

Oh, right, I'm Mr. Hollywood.

Well, not literally–

Of course not.

Wait, is that a thing.

If it was, would I be it?

[Super Nerdy Writer]

I mean, you'd at least be the poster child.

Okay, my turn.

HI THERE, FACE HERE.

*inconsolable screaming*

Holy shit, the 90's was RAW.

Okay, so your childhood is terrifying.

Just wait till we get to the

*More inconsolable screaming*

Lol. Look.

What up bro.

It's Juggalos.

lol .

After a few days of layering m usual favorite isocronic tones, it appeared that someone or something elsewhere was attempting to made contact–and though I could't isolate which frequency exactly it was coming from, it usually came in the form of music or some other source, rather what was usually hidden in between th concentrated tones themselves–however, the music always seemed far away, so far awa that it sounded as if it was being played through a tin can, merely connected to another–my own ears–with a string.

Woah.

Yeah.

Do you think it's aliens

Probably.

Or like, I don't know–some other humans with like, a radio tower or satellite, some shit. I don't know.

Right.

Lol. maybe you're the alien.

I ALREADY TOLD YOU. I DON'T KNOW WHERE IT IS.

We know you know where it is.

I DO NOT.

You're hiding it.

HIDE! THAT THING?!

So you do know what it is

OF COURSE I KNOW WHAT IT IS: And it's RIDICULOUS you think i would be hiding it.

BRFORR

Quick! HIde!

OKay.

THAT THING IS ENORMOUS.

Hm. Smaller.

OK.

I n I T I A T I N G S H R INkING SEQUEnCE In 5

Seven Bananas…

FUCK, MAN.

What's this dumb game.

*takes shot* it IS dumb.

You have to take a shot every time she eats a banana.

Oh no.

This is fucked up.

*barfs*

You wanna play?

Nah, I'm good.

Diplo.

What.

You have 57 children.

*nods*

Never look at me again.

*hangs head*

Go that way, with your children.

Dillon Francis.

Yes.

You have 8 kids.

)That's believable)

Oh, wow.

*You have 84 kids.

WHAT! He has more kids than me!

Yes. Astonishingly, however the same percentage of them are black.

Go say hello.

Uhh.

Now:

Wait, where are you going.

The the auditorium.

There's an auditorium?

For what.

AN ENORMOUS AUDITORIUM is filled to capacity with children of all ages, shapes, and sizes, colors, creeds, genders, and otherwise–but they all seem to have something quirkily in common.

What the fuck.

How does he have more kids than me?!

Are you serious?!

Whose kids are THESE.

Mind your business.

Let me guess.

There's still busses pulling up.

I know.

And a helicopter!

Oh, that's just the guest of honor.

Are you serious.

SKRILLEX thinks he is preforming a charity benefit concert.

*landing on helipad*

LOL

OhGod.

MEANWHRILE.

Whats in here.

NOTHING. Just

GET IN THE BOX.

NO.

GET–

NO

IN THE BOX

WElcome to Jack In The Box

Welcome to Hack In the Crack–what are you hacking?

Uhhh.

Gimme three juicy squirtalicious tacos.

Eugh

Extra squirt.

Gross!

And uh–

You want anything.

I'm good.

Suit yourself. Best tacos ever.

__

Wait, hold on.

“Wait what”

I think i might be getting tired, or something.

Right…tired, “or something.”

Or something.

RIght.

*blow horn*

* * * * * * *

Do you ever get lonely.

No.

Oh…

But it's safe to say, all I can think about sometimes is getting railed.

Oh!

Moving on.

Watch this.

*snipes*

Nice.

Now check it out, that's where she respawns.

(from behind)

Not always.

Oh shit.

*stop*camping*

DOUBLE KILL.

Nice.

Fuck I hate this map. Fuck I hate this map.

Would you shut up.

You wanna see a world class superstar fall out of alignment?

…no.

Too bad. You're hired.

…hired for what.

You applied on indeed, right?

Yeah, as a janitor.

NO. You're a paparazzi, dressed as a janitor.

What!

Here's your camera.

(it is a cheap disposable)

Are you serious.

You get any good pictures, we'll talk about a nikon.

Can't I just use my iPhone?

Depends. Do you want your iPhone smashed?

…no.

Then NO.

…

“The Bad Boys Of Hollywood”

Prepare To Be Canceled

the gathering of this ingenuine group of elites causes a frenzy and stir amongst the masses as they appear, cross-dimensionally to have been reborn into stardom, mysteriously gaining controversy and mass fandom, to which no bounds can be seen as to the unstartlingly political incorrectness.

I'm gonna need you to do me a favor.

What's that?

Shut up

Don't ever look at me again.

If i could take my eyes out, I would.

No, need–I can do it for you.

Haha, charade you are.

You're a disaster.

That's your excuse.

Yeah, what's yours?

Under the indifferential circumstances–

“ooh–lala”

I'm not as partial to making excuses as

–as to what? Kissing ass?

Only cute ones.

Let it settle in, way down below deck

Where the honor rollers are,

The high rollers, far above you

You wanna know how long the ride is?

Wanna know how far you've come

If i could throw you overboard, I'd trust you

Love is not enough

The seas are rough

An open wound

A bleeding heart

How right you are

The tea is strong,

Like solid gold

A needle's bond

With no remorse,

The tithes are gone

Upright,

Upright

To end, to End

That's right, I said

Just end it

I said

“Better me than him”

Another dinner with a friend

A fear for framework,

Or indifference again

In this selection or

Collection,

Bears and end to

End

And

End to end

Upright

And

End to End

Upright

And

End to end

I dont know, if i want to know you

I dont love like I want to love but

I watched him raise the dead,

Just so he had a friend

I don't know if you've been told, but

I don't love like I want to love, and

I often raise the dead,

Just so i can have a friend

To play with

It's darker in here,

Oh,

It's sufferable

So
I just want to know

I live in a haunted house

With a cat and a mouse

But the old cat's gone, now

the mouse tends to travel a lot

I've nothing to haunt,

(I'm a ghost in Toronto)

A car show,

A hollow heart,

A starving artist,

A scar;

Over her bottom lip she runs her tongue

So it goes:

The stars on his face remind her of him

So it goes:

We all want

Out of body

Out of Mind

Out of soul

Out of body

Out of mind

Out of soul

Out of body

Out of mind

Out of soul

Why

(Why-Why)

Would you leave me to wake

(Why)

In a terrible world

Without you in it

(A M ercedes emblem to hang around my neck,

It's very simple)

I tried to settle on subtle saffron

I tried to love you,

Then I moved on

Do you ever wonder about philosophy?

Do you ever wonder if anyone's watching you

Secretly?

Do you ever dream of it?

(I'm just a ghost in a mansion)

I haven't even had breakfast

I've practically been dead half a century

I sold the whole eiffel tower on craigslist

What a bargain!

You started it!

I'm not arguing.

I lost that bet, you know.

Clearly.

Is it that obvious?

How do you lose a bet to Dillon Francis?

He lost the bet but won the race.

Whatever that means

Okay. Who the fuck wrote this.

[No show of hands]

Nobody?!

Thats our GOD.

That's your God.

yes.

I thought Beyonce was your God.

That's what I just SAID.

We must infiltrate.

But how.

That which binds up through time

The chemical, physical and biological nature of love

An exploration of the meaning of meaning

1st, Second, and Third Movement

Nice, I finally get to use a didgeridoo

And bagpipes!

And my trumpet!

That sounds more like a french horn

Or a

Jimmy Fallon and The Impenetrable Ten

Well, not entirely Impenetrable

*stabs with sword*

KRISTEN SHAAL

Woah.

MAYA RUDOLPH (or whoever)

Dang.

TINA FEY (or whoever)

(At least it wasn't me)

Right.

–all i'm sayin.

Wait, who got stabbed?

Whoever.

Not Jimmy Fallon.

No. His untimely death is later.

How much later?

I don't–

__

Meanwhile

Dillon, if you spend $20 on Magic, I'm going to kill you.

Haha, If i spend $20 on magic,it's very likely someone else is going to kill me.

So it's settled.

$20 on Magic, please.

Fair.

Ooh. Is this getting close to the part where

Yup.

SHH.

WHY ARE WE MOVING BACKWARDS THROUGH TIME.

BECAUSE THAT'S THE ONLY WAY TO GO BACKWARDS.

No, it isn't.

What.

I

Came into blank street

Tryna see a [?!]

all coffee

No cream please

Scream supacree

But really you can't see me

Can't take it to deep on w sweetie keyboard

Feed me b Seymour

Ain't tryna be gory Corey

Hate to inform you

I I'm stuck at the rock

I'm stuck at the bottom

Youre stuck at the top

Fine! fuckin fuck Drew Barrymore, then!

Work harder and more often

Fuck love and whole foods cause they

All

Flashback music London

…

….

……

……….

Who else has seen this.

Nobody, just us.

We must burn this at once.

I wholeheartedly agree.

[Remarkably huge bonfire.]

Did u make copies.

ya .

Ooh, that's cool.

Very creative.

Wow

Nice.

…

…

….

Have you seen this?

No.

Look at it.

…ilikeit.

Sensations of sadness

Salacious arpeggios

Arduous agressions

Transitions– progressive

Incendiary imagery

Electric Synthesis

Intentionally focused, configurative

–Literally Skrillex.

Ugh, that might be the last thing I ever write about him.

Just shoot the nigga.

Ooh, he's so cute.

Keep him away from me.

C'mon.

Yo–I can't.

Fine, i'll do it.

*sighs indifferently*

You could move a mountain;

I could stop the tide

In a flash;

All at once

It was a long, long drive

I miss the coast

(Or maybe, I just miss the sunshine)

You could move a mountain

Keep me from going insane

(If I was inside, you'd)

Keep me from going outside

(if I was in, though, you'd)

Keep me from going in,

Under the circumstances

I can't stand it, but

I'm back from having summer standing under subtle waters

Waiting for someone who

Never shows up, so

So

Suffer no longer

I wouldn't want to want you,

if i wondered more about it

At the surface,

Or way under

Nothing wants what nothing gets

And noting gets nothing

Anyways,

so

Here's for the abstract

Stream of conscious

Nothing moves mountains, but

You could move mountains

In a flash, and
I turned the tide on

I saw the tidal

With my ghost

And twelve apostles

I've been waiting for Godot

For so long

I still think

He might come

Haha, what a charade

We all are

Huh

I love you

What was that?

I've run off

Huh

I love you

What was that?

I've run off

I finally fell out of love

Look,

I broke my own heart

Sharp as a tack

Straight as a whip

I bite my lip,

Fall into bed

Maybe it's a hex

Maybe it's a breakfast in bed kind of moment

I've been waking up with someone,

But going in the world alone, eh

It's never run to remember where you've been

After a binder

You would think with so much in my system

I'd have reached indifference,

Well, didn't you

I didn't yet,

In fact, I'm still tying one one,

With a friend

At the moment

Well perhaps, just perhaps,

It might be time that I let you go then?

Don't be so chauvinistic.

Isn't this a barmitvah?

Hasn't this been discussed at several other functions

To no exact conclusions

More Complications

I could just

FUCK, I COULD LISTEN TO THIS SONG FOREVER.

He says it's a pluck,

But i see it's percussive

If I could give less of a fuck

Then I probably coudn't.

Woah

How many wishes I've granted

This festival season

How many shifts

that I've written through

Sitting on busses and subways

Looking suspicious as ever

and probably smelling atrocious.

INT. BLINK FITNESS.

…I'm not using that shower.

I thought I'd be more employable

After sorting some,

But it seems as though
The more there is

The more there isn't

And the deeper it gets

–the number of spirits I've risen

Since getting here

Is steady rising

It's no surprise

I've got more friends that died

Than have lived here.

It's been a very long year

But I fucked it off quickly

I'll never listen to Skrillex again

If you paid me,

But i'll play it

In my mixes

Depending

Fuck it,

There my brain went

Down the drain again

I've been training over a year

And i'm still not

Kayla fit

I'm sick of it

I've been waiting for Godot

Since the year that I wrote it

I've been wearing these bracelets for years

Still haven't seen frozen,

So i can't let it go yet

Oh shit.

This is all a distraction

The underground is massive

Another Michaelangelo

Anglo Saxon anonymous

I want an erroneous daughter

Or Androgynous,

Whatever

These prostitutes have Graduate degrees with honors

All I ever was,

Was a disappointment

I got a smile like Madonna's

But none of the love at all

I got a back end like Beyonce's

But just some of the talent

“What's an ass for

If i'm cellibate, anyhow?”

I asked God,

She said,

“Eat A Taco”

I just hope that's not a euphemism for lesbianism

Not that i'm intolerant, it's just that

The older I get

The straighter I am,

And dammit

He's sharp as a tack

Straight as a whip

I write books,

And mind my own business

It's impossible to whitewash all of us

But I love rock and roll

Look: It's a S i T uATiO NA L C0MEDy.

So?!

SO, THIS IS THE SITUATION:

I don't wanna do this.

My heart's so broken

I could hold it on chopsticks

You ever wonder what love is

I've forgotten

I'm having a hard time holding it all in

I'm an artist

I've got colorful emotional troubles

Others love it

Lil biiiiiitttzzz

Man, fuck new york.

I was apartment hunting and I got off the train in midtown–

Technically the upper west side, but, you know, Midtown
So i get off the train and I get ready to cross the street:

I'm like Oh, Awesome–Trader Joes; Maybe this is the right neighborhood

So i gotta use the bathroom anyway, so I head towards trader joes

And I see this like–

Box of birds.

No, not a cage.
It was like–a bird box

I'm like “what. Birds.”

Not just birds, though,

Colorful birds–

Like, straight up parakeets.

I'm like,

“What. the fuck”

Then, before I can even look up–

This dude–I just see his leg, though,

He just– kicks the box of birds.

“what.”

Like, towards me, and i'm like

“Okay, alright.”

Now i got a box of birds at my feet on this busy ass corner in midtown manhattan

Adjacent to Trader Joes

And I look up at the guy, who kicked the box of birds,

And he has this bowl

So I look at the guy,

And I look at the bowl,

And what's in the bowl.

IT'S MORE BIRDS.

“OH NO!'

I say.

Yes, I say this, out loud, in Midtown manhattan

“Oh no!”

Cause it's not just a bowl of birds

It's a bowl of PIGEONS.

Just kickin it, in this dudes bowl.

I'm like

“Oh no.”

And then i cross into trader joes.

“Yep, right neighborhood.”

Alright, here's the plan.

where did you come from.

nowhere.

someone shoot that lady.

DILLON FRANCIS

I'm your worst nightmare.

Dillon Francis is everyone's worst nightmare: He's a good looking white dude with too much money. He's literally like 8 Billion People's worst nightmare.

GET OUT OF HERE, COLONIZER.

Oh, man.

DILLON FRANCIS is trapped in the hood.

Try being famous over here! Motherfucker!

More on that later.

Look, I don't even like you like that!

That's okay—-but I still want to suck your cock and that's not gonna change.

*hangs head*

I'm am not ashamed.

I just might watch porn in the morning.

Come on, 6:30, roll the fuck around.

Wait, Which one is the Brown eyed dillon francis.

The one with brown eyes.

He's the trustworthy one.

Well good luck with that.

(The one that doesn't exist.)

I didn't take the train today;

I thought I was going to jump

Thought i'd better play it safe

Filled up my shopping cart,

Got everything I wanted

Everything and more

Might not look my best but

At least I'm not gone

Come on, six o clock

I just want to be alone

She's got the gift of gab

Grew up two blocks from here

In the ghetto

I've heard it all before

But love, my heart's so broken

And you turn me on some

I'm gonna smoke your seamen* out of a nektar collector.

That shit is like crack to me.

Oh no.

Who is this about.

I'll give you one guess.

I don't have any guesses.

It's five past Christ

I just opened my eyelids

And rolled back my mind

I tried to find you, after all, didn't I

I might have designed you

(On second thought I did)

I might need time

(if I believed in it)

can't apologize for being human, but

I wear your eyes all over the world

I wear the memories of many girls

And many nights

Suffer the consequences

Sure, I've been subway surfing, wondering

Wait, where was I again?

I was almost,

Almost a person

There's so much to learn from

And too much to learn here

I've been fighting off demons,

Fighting the feeling of

Falling in love again

But I can't fall in

Cause I never fell out

Afterward,

I went past it

And on to the next one

I might double back though–

To find that I hadn't quite left in the–

To find that I hadn't quite left in the first place

To find that we haven't quite met yet

At least not the right way

It's probably a lesson

I might miss the lecture

I've got other plans today

Fuck, so it is Skrillex.

Not really exactly.

On second thought,

at first glance

Better illusion,

than hypnotism

But if I can't be like that

Why be anything at all

If not a model

Or artist

Brought it up at the wrong time

(You would want her)

I wasn't one for improper introductions

Or impromptu arrangements

There, there

It's just getting better

So better not whine about it

I wake up in a pile full of rocks;
I guess it's better than a puddle of blood,

Cause nobody loves me

I've been alone, not lonely

And never alone as long as I like

Cause they all just surround me

Now I know what it's like to be famous

Without all the money and glamour–

Turns out, that's the part that alluring

I'd better find out what I did this for

In the next downpour

I'll be soaked to my torso exactly

Aren't you proud of me

(not really)

I learned to cope by narrowing down all my options

As time rolled on

I got worse at making up stories

As it turns out

I didn't have to make them up at all

They were happening to me

So truly and honestly

All my job was to

“Mark My Words”

Said The God

Quite astonishing literally

But I got bored of running and still not looking like Kayla Lauren

I wouldn't bring it up, except

The photographic evidence was damaging

At least Dillon Francis has no audacity as such

Then again,

—I've never even been on an album cover.

There you have it

I've been lusting over

Several other

Talented masters and

Handsome disasters

But matter of fact

It just started with

One random –

Well, now that I think about it, if I haven't believed in coincidences

Since this,

Random is just as likely

as foreign a concept

As such

Immaculate conception,

This contraption

At first glance, a sonogram

Play it back,

Caught in the act again

Cause in the act again

I'll probably make a list of

Weird shit I want to do with him

When I think of it in public

(That's usually where it happens)

And if anything is random

–It's that.

ILLUMINATI DREAMS:

PART III

Dillon Francis broke up with his girlfriend to be with me.

That was cool.

We were best friends and got along really well. Went hiking in a beautiful park with crystal clear water and gorgeous ruins—

Fell in the water and got my phone wet but it was in an otter box.

I felt guilty about his girlfriend a feared they would get back together—

But he was over her and super loyal to me —

It all started when I tried to crawl into a giant bed to give Sonny a blowjob:

Sonny was sleeping alone and Dillon was sleeping with his girlfriend—

Dillon decided he wanted the blowjob;

I refused because I would not let him cheat on his girlfriend;

So he broke it off with her—

Sonny never woke up

There was no blowjob but Dillon and I ended up together.

Sonny disappeared like he never existed anyway.

Dillon and I were happy together and never fought. We were very in love.

It was just a dream but still good to see Dillon.

It felt warm and good.

Lmfao wtf is wrong with you

SOMETHING, obviously.

It made a difffetent sound from further away, and better yet, an actual sound up close—I had been enamored enough walking by to move towards the lights after I was sure that my laundry was as close to complete as possible, but —

A clock stops me in my tracks

A Starbucks cup not in the trash lies in the ground

I love the sparkles

On Rockaway boulevard,

Making it harder to ponder

The underworld, unnerved of the undeserving

The servicemen and servers of the surface

Boughroughs further than Manhattan

At the center

lil biiiiiitzzzzs —

Bro, I love the cops in New York

All the cops in the east are bar none top notch

I'm not kidding

I went to a show in Miami once and I was walking this really long walk between one part of the venue and another

I will never forget this like, line of cops that were like along the path and every single one of them was model hot

I'm not joking

I'm almost wish I was because I couldn't help myself from looking

That's not even the worst part!

the worst part was, they were looking back at me!

All of em!

I was like:

“what the fuck is going on with these cops?! “

V.O.

I couldn't shake the feeling that I was going cry–

So instead of running two miles on the treadmill

I went three–

But I still wanted to punch something.

So I lifted some.

I've been worried i'll plateau at the benchpress, the more I keep running…

But I don't care.

I'd rather weighless, and have a man,

Than keep lifting like this,

And be a man.

Sometimes I'm worried I might be turning into one.

Sometimes, depending on the way I dress,

I'm mistaken for one–

Or at least–

Give off an air of general confusion.

But I don't mind. Not that much.

I'm no naturally designed to attract the kind of men I like.

It might take a bit of maintenance,

But i'm determined to persist

I couldn't imagine what it would be like to have been born a beautiful woman.

But maybe, if i'm lucky, or if I try hard enough,

I'll have an idea of what it's like to have become one.

I'm counting my blessings.

All of them.

I'm saying my prayers.

A lot.

And

I'm crossing my fingers–

that the longer, harder, and faster I run,

The closer I get to actually living.

That is,

To be loved.

I wish I could take my eyes out and wash them wit soap.

Oh.

I wish i didn't know you existed;

I wish I

Didn't know how to love you

God,

I spoke to soon

I opened up all of the wrong doors,

I'm done for,

You know,

I'm not really good at nothing

Nothing at all

I wish i didn't know at all

You were ever born;

But there you are,

a son of God,

And I'm just rolling along,

writing anthems, and carrying on

as if everything happened at once

But it hasn't

Not yet,

I'm still breaking my neck on the alter

If you want blood

I've got it

Jump the broom,

But watch your heart

I've got a dagger full of them;

You'd think i had it backwards,

But that's the hard part

If it were the other way around

Oh

But it's not

No

I don't want to love anyone, anymore, God

Take me off of this rock

Throw me head first overboard

Push me in front of a bus;

Or give me a heart attack

I've had it harder before,

But that was over there,

I'm omnipresent.

I could write forever to this

(Ten years ago)

I put the book with the devil on front

Into my row

A collection of noveelties

An erection, selective

To say the least

But please, forgive me

I'm veen on my knees

And barely breathing,

Let it simmer,

Simmer down please

settle, way below the belt

Above you and

Beyond this,

But I'll never firget what you said

(i love you)

I'll nevr forget what you said

And I'll never look back, dad

And I'll never go back ther

And I'll neve have blue eyes

And I'll never have blonde hair

And I'll never have white skin

And I'll never be better

At least not at this partl

But maybe the other

I'm just friendless

I like it

My security blanket

The party i wasnt invited to

My lies are compulsive;

But not quite pathological

But the girl was obnoxious

And my spirit tyrannical

I'm an animal

But I pray a lot

And used to fast as much

Now that Ive been determined to be an deplorable

Why not just kill myself?

I'd be better off after

With a kitchen, a shower

I'd forget about money;

Getting paid by the hour.

I'd be better off anyway

I need a vacation

It was all in my head, anyway

Then again, so is heaven

Amen

A…men

A…men…

It's a dangerous game we play

But i'd rather not kill myself over you

(Again)

I'd rather not kill myself again

I'd rather not kill myself

Could be a coincidence

But I doubt it,

Since I don't believe in them

But I could be getting my lines crossed

My rum mixed with vodka

And getting my ass whooped more often

That's not a metaphor:

I'm not a fighter

It was metaphysical before,

But now its atrocious

This night'll be a lot longer

If i remain hungry

But I wanna look like Madonna!

(minus, of course, the minor difference between us)

I hadn't understood what an age gap meant,

Until jumping it

(hardee har har, that's a good one)

I'm not even in my body right now;

But i'm in my head

Shut up, Becky!

Isn't it bad enough,

Your society?

Fuck, I'm losing my mind

Just not being blonde enough

Or just not being wanted, or something

(Loved)

Playing the victim,

But hey,

At least i'm playing something!

All these instruments are just too expensive

I was just thinking how

Photosensitive epilepsy and synestesia

Might be deadly

But I said “till death do us part”

So i think that's what I need

I thought my suicide ended it

Now I'm in hell with him

But I'd end it over and over again

Just to be rid of him

(yes, i'm serious)

Fuck, man, Madonna's gonna kill—

For Colored Girls Who've Completed Suicide:

The Afterlife At The End of The Rainbow

[An Inspiring Story]

Had I exacted this science,

For starters,

On anyone else but

A circle of stars,

I forewarn you,

I wouldn't be honored as such

Just a disheartened philosopher,

A nonpartisan biocentric;

Listen, I'm learning my lessons and levels

UGH, ARE YOU DONE YET.

what.

WE'RE STILL WAITING.

huh?

DRAKE BELL

How long do i have to keep doing this for?

ILLUMINATI

Till the end

DRAKE BELL

Whens the end.

ILLUMINATI

When it is.

Now even looking for something to watch became a writing assignment.

*squinting*

–and somehow, without even touching my mango, my keyboard was already sticky.

*squinting even harder*

–No…

–No…(?) No.

…No. Ugh!

Try not to hold your breath.

*holding breath/ attempting to block telepathy.*

I told you, I need this.

*attempt to block telepathy had failed*

You don't need anything.

*squinting exactly alike*

The eyes really are windows…

Maybe I should jump out then.

–or jump in.

dayumm .

sike .

Alright, I need something to take my mind off this project.

How much acid did you put in the water.

Enough

Fuck, I hate my life.

Which bottle is it in.

[beat]

All of them.

*facepalm*

Remarkable, what the love of a teenaged girl can do.

I wouldn't quite call it that.

I would.

Don't be gross.

I'm you. You're gross.

Touche.

I don't think we should be doing this.

We shouldn't be.

Ah come on! Now Johnny Depp?

Nice.

He's like 100 years old.

Ah, to be young again.

So wait. How the fuck exactly old is this lady.

Really fucking old.

Like, how old, though.

Really, really fucking old.

Okay, I have to talk to this Goddess.

[She dances by]

*gasp*

Is that her?!

Yeus.

She's young again!

It appears she has procured a body!

Presumably!

I must do the same! At once!

At one!

Lol who are these dudes.

Just wait for it.

Hurmph.

Nrh.

*sigh of deep frustration, facepalm*

*falls into a deep unconscious of out sheer bewilderment*

Oh good, they're here.

Who's they?

I don't know!

Hm.

Suhp.

Nice rabbit hole.

*shrugs nonscalontly*

On telephone)

She bought a what a Whole Foods Market?

(In public, trying not to be heard)

A penis shaped sweet potato.

A WHAT? [Speak up]

A– penis shaped sweet potato.

A WH–

A PENIS-SHAPED SWEET POTATO.

(Everyone stops and stares)

…it was delicious.

Nice.

I don't know

Anymore

What to do

With myself

I'm a mess

On the

Inside and out