"I cried for pages as Goldmund went through the pain of seeing what he previously deemed holy now cold and meaningless and what he used to deem selfish and immoral now pure and healing, in other words essential instead of merely necessary. Am I not still going through the journey of self-acceptance myself? After years of conditioning, which, for the most part, was traumatising and trapping me in guilt and fears, worst of all, of being my true self...."

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"You see how it works? It’s a constant… Ah, I don’t want to call it battle… Process! It’s a constant process dropping the ego, even the superego – the self. They are part of me, they are inseparable, they’re supposed to keep me safe, and moral – wait, moral is just part of safety. I just need to be conscious of them, aware of them and not allow them drive my decisions and actions because it isn’t necessary. They aren’t necessary..."

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"It's raining where I am and I reckon it's the same where you are. It's hardly been two days since I left you and I am okay, almost like for the first time, but I have no time to talk about the series of heartbreaks that visited..."

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"I’m happy and it isn’t a sulky “I’m happy” that characters throw around in a movie when they can’t get what they want, par exemple. When you flow in the river of life, you don’t cling on to every shiny log in your way for too long - you go around it, you go over it. People aren’t logs - yeah, and the logs aren’t always shiny; let them go regardless. There are people and things that can flow with you longer, perhaps for very long, but the desire to own is what stops you from flowing. Let them flow, at their own rhythm, and may you allow yourself the same...."

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"Like jazz, I want people who move - with me and for me; who make noises - with me and for me; who talk to me after the show; who stick with me l’after after l’after ou, bien, laughter after laughter; who share their joint with me in the dimmed alley - these are all metaphors, alright? In love, I want an equal; ‘let the waves sing fitzgerald - nothing brutal’ - sorry, I’m hallucinating again. Where were we?..."

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"Without trust, love will hide behind the clouds and keep me cold, revealing itself only on clear days, too blinding for me to look at. Without fierce loyalty to my true self, my growing and always-becoming self, I will always be imprisoned by other people’s versions of me, whatever rewards seem to be offered to keep me satisfied..."

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"I’m not feeling inspired to write to you right now so I’m keeping this short. In fact, I think I’m letting you go. My dreams, my passion, my forceful love for you need to rest. And if you are truly a reflection of myself, I’d like to stop chasing reflections and tackle the essence like a pro, that is from within. If you are truly a reflection of myself, and not the other way around, I will find you wherever I go, non? Preferably where intensity stirs and the ground stays stable, where I look at a face and I like myself more, where I truly feel free and in love..."

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"Joy is better than calm contentment, for sure, and I am often willing to do nothing to achieve it. When I do nothing, it is intentional – often more intentional than when my undiagnosed ADHD self does something, however overthinking I could be. When I do nothing, it is because something is either beyond my control or I’m allowing it to be – for best results..."

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"I’m excited and yet my heart is still, Paris. It’s still, like the space between you and my inner self. That space isn’t empty either. Everything I put in there hasn’t gone anywhere. Everything I put in there is what closes the gap between us that the physical space becomes irrelevant..."

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