Why does emotional intimacy come so naturally to some people and feel absolutely overwhelming to others? In this Enneagram Edition of Imperfectly Married, Michael and Heather slow the conversation down and explore the deeper reasons emotional closeness can feel safe, confusing, or even terrifying depending on your personality wiring.Building on the previous episode about developing emotional intimacy, this conversation goes beneath surface-level skills and looks at fear, safety, needs, stories, and spiritual formation through the lens of the Enneagram. You’ll learn how each of the nine Enneagram types approaches emotional intimacy, what blocks vulnerability for each type, and how those patterns quietly shape trust, connection, and distance in marriage.From the Type One’s struggle with imperfection, to the Type Two’s habit of giving without receiving, to the Type Five’s fear of depletion, to the Type Nine’s tendency to disappear to keep the peace, this episode brings clarity and compassion to the ways couples protect themselves emotionally. Michael and Heather also weave in insights from the Gottman Institute, Scripture, and real-life marriage experience to show how emotional intimacy grows when people feel seen, safe, and secure.Don't know what your enneagram type is? Take the assessment for free on our website:https://imperfectlymarriedpodcast.com/Find us online:Website: https://imperfectlymarriedpodcast.com/Merch: https://imperfectlymarriedpodcast.com/storeInstagram: imperfectlymarried_thepodcast Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61576918626044TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@imperfectly_married

Emotional intimacy doesn’t happen overnight — and it doesn’t grow without safety, trust, and intention. In this powerful conversation, Michael and Heather are joined by longtime friends Assad Saif and Summer Saif to unpack what emotional intimacy really is, why so many couples struggle to build it, and how it can be restored even after seasons of disconnection.Together, they explore how emotional intimacy is rooted in trust and commitment, why you can only connect as deeply as you’ve gone personally, and how small, consistent steps can rebuild safety in a marriage that feels stuck. The conversation breaks down practical tools like emotional “baby steps,” rebuilding trust incrementally, navigating personality differences, and using frameworks such as love maps to truly know your spouse — not just coexist with them.Assad and Summer also share vulnerable insights from their own marriage, including how therapy, faith, self-awareness, and communication rhythms have helped them move through conflict and deepen connection over time. From learning how to express emotions safely, to understanding how emotional safety impacts physical and spiritual closeness, this episode offers hope and clarity for couples at every stage.If you’ve ever felt emotionally distant, unsure how to reconnect, or afraid to open up again, this conversation reminds you that emotional intimacy is not a personality trait — it’s a skill that can be learned, practiced, and rebuilt with patience and grace.Don't know what your enneagram type is? Take the assessment for free on our website:https://imperfectlymarriedpodcast.com/Find us online:Website: https://imperfectlymarriedpodcast.com/Merch: https://imperfectlymarriedpodcast.com/storeInstagram: imperfectlymarried_thepodcast Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61576918626044TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@imperfectly_married

Health in marriage is not one-size-fits-all — and your Enneagram type plays a bigger role than you may realize. In this Enneagram Edition of Imperfectly Married, Michael and Heather explore how each personality type uniquely experiences physical, emotional, and spiritual health, especially under stress.This conversation breaks down how different Enneagram types drift when one area of health is neglected, why some types ignore their bodies, others suppress emotions, and others disconnect spiritually — and how those patterns quietly affect marriage over time. Rather than focusing on behavior fixes, this episode centers on awareness, compassion, and understanding the deeper motivations driving each type.If you’ve ever felt out of sync physically, emotionally drained, or spiritually disconnected in your marriage, this episode offers clarity, grace, and a path forward — tailored to who you actually are.Join the Imperfectly Married Newsletter below to get your free download of our 2026 new year reflection worksheet:https://imperfectlymarriedpodcast.com/Find us online:Website: https://imperfectlymarriedpodcast.com/Merch: https://imperfectlymarriedpodcast.com/storeInstagram: imperfectlymarried_thepodcast Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61576918626044TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@imperfectly_married

When couples think about health, they usually think about diet, exercise, or weight goals. But health is far more than just physical. In this episode of Imperfectly Married, Michael and Heather unpack the three pillars of health that every marriage should work on: physical, emotional, and spiritual. They explore how neglecting even one of these areas creates disconnection, resentment, fatigue, and emotional distance. As well as how small, intentional steps toward wholeness can radically change the way you love, communicate, and connect.Whether you’re feeling physically exhausted, emotionally overwhelmed, spiritually dry, or simply unsure where to start, this conversation offers practical wisdom, grace-filled encouragement, and a clear reminder: a healthy marriage begins with healthy people choosing wholeness together.Join the Imperfectly Married Newsletter below to get your free download of our 2026 new year reflection worksheet:https://imperfectlymarriedpodcast.com/Find us online:Website: https://imperfectlymarriedpodcast.com/Merch: https://imperfectlymarriedpodcast.com/storeInstagram: imperfectlymarried_thepodcast Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61576918626044TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@imperfectly_married

The New Year brings motivation, pressure, excitement, anxiety, and reflection — and every Enneagram type experiences it differently. In this Enneagram Edition of Imperfectly Married, Michael and Heather walk through all nine Enneagram types and explain how each one approaches the New Year, where they tend to get stuck, and how their core motivations are intensified during this season.You’ll learn why some types feel energized by goals while others feel overwhelmed or behind, why resolutions work for some and backfire for others, and how trying to change behavior without understanding motivation often leads to frustration. This episode is not about fixing yourself or your spouse — it’s about awareness, compassion, and learning how to support each other well as you step into a new year together.Michael and Heather break down practical ways spouses can encourage one another based on personality wiring, offering language that affirms identity rather than performance, creates emotional safety, and strengthens connection. From the Type One’s inner critic, to the Type Two’s tendency to over-give, to the Type Three’s drive to achieve, to the Type Nine’s quiet tendency to disappear, this conversation helps couples see each other more clearly and love each other more intentionally.Rooted in faith and real-life experience, this episode reminds couples that growth is not about reinvention — it’s about alignment. When you understand how your spouse enters the year, you can move forward together with grace, patience, and unity instead of pressure and comparison.Join the Imperfectly Married Newsletter below to get your free download of our 2026 new year reflection worksheet:https://imperfectlymarriedpodcast.com/Find us online:Website: https://imperfectlymarriedpodcast.com/Merch: https://imperfectlymarriedpodcast.com/storeInstagram: imperfectlymarried_thepodcast Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61576918626044TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@imperfectly_married

The New Year comes with a lot of pressure—new goals, big expectations, and the fear of falling short. But what if a strong marriage isn’t built on resolutions or quick fixes?Today we talk about how couples can use the New Year as a healthy reset—without perfection, shame, or unrealistic expectations. We explore how to reflect on the past year honestly, celebrate real progress, and identify patterns that no longer serve your marriage.You’ll hear practical ways to talk through what to leave behind, what to carry forward, and how to move toward growth together—one intentional step at a time. We also introduce the idea of choosing a shared “word of the year” for your marriage, giving you a simple anchor to guide decisions, communication, and conflict throughout the year.This conversation is about progress, not perfection. About choosing consistency over burnout. And about building a marriage that grows stronger in ordinary, everyday moments.Happy New Year—and here’s to growing forward together.

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Christmas with the in-laws can feel like a mix of twinkle lights, nostalgia, and quiet tension — and somehow you and your spouse are expected to keep the peace no matter what happens. In this Enneagram Edition of Imperfectly Married, Michael and Heather walk through how each of the nine Enneagram types uniquely experiences in-law dynamics during the holidays and how understanding those differences can protect your marriage instead of straining it.They break down what each type is secretly thinking when family stress shows up, how healthy versus challenging in-law relationships affect each personality, and practical ways to nurture your spouse based on their wiring. From the Type One trying to keep everything “right,” to the Type Two overextending to feel loved, to the Type Five hiding in the bathroom to recharge, to the Type Nine disappearing just to keep the peace — this episode helps you recognize patterns before they turn into conflict.You’ll also hear practical tools for every couple, including setting boundaries before gatherings, using code words when things feel overwhelming, checking in with your spouse before and after events, and debriefing together so future holidays feel safer and more connected. Rooted in faith, humor, and real-life experience, this conversation reminds couples that the Enneagram isn’t a limitation — it’s a map. And when you use it with grace and intentionality, even the most challenging in-law dynamics can become opportunities for unity, understanding, and growth.Find us online:Website: https://imperfectlymarriedpodcast.com/Merch: https://imperfectlymarriedpodcast.com/storeInstagram: imperfectlymarried_thepodcast Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61576918626044TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@imperfectly_married

The holidays bring family together — but they can also bring tension, unmet expectations, and pressure from in-laws that quietly strain a marriage. In this episode of Imperfectly Married, Michael and Heather talk through how to handle in-laws during the holidays with clarity, unity, and healthy boundaries that protect your relationship instead of dividing it.

They unpack why family dynamics feel more intense this time of year, how differences in traditions, communication styles, and expectations create conflict, and what happens when couples don’t talk through these issues ahead of time. You’ll learn how to have proactive conversations before gatherings, set boundaries that are loving but firm, support your spouse when family dynamics are difficult, and avoid the resentment that builds when one partner feels caught in the middle.

Rooted in faith and practical wisdom, this conversation reminds couples that boundaries aren’t about control or distance — they’re about protection. When spouses choose each other first and approach family situations as a team, the holidays can become a season of peace instead of pressure. If you want to enjoy time with extended family without sacrificing the health of your marriage, this episode will give you a clear, realistic framework to do just that.

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The holidays bring beauty, but they also bring stress — expectations, family dynamics, travel, finances, grief, and totally disrupted routines. In this Enneagram Edition of Imperfectly Married, Michael and Heather walk through how each of the nine Enneagram types uniquely experiences the holiday season and how understanding your wiring (and your spouse’s) can actually protect your marriage when things get busy and tense. Instead of assuming your spouse “should just handle it,” you’ll learn how core motivations, fears, and longings get amplified under holiday pressure and how that shows up in the way each type hosts, plans, spends, avoids, or over-functions.

You’ll also hear big-picture tools you can use no matter what your number is: pre-holiday “huddles” to talk through budget, expectations, travel, and traditions; mini check-ins before and during events so neither of you feels alone or blindsided; and rhythms of rest, intimacy, and faith that help you return to what the season is truly about. Rooted in their relationship with Jesus, Michael and Heather remind us that peace is a Person, not a perfect plan, and that grace is the greatest gift you can give each other this year. If you want this holiday season to draw you closer instead of tearing you apart, this episode will help you honor each other’s wiring, lower the stress, and protect what matters most: your marriage.

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The holidays are supposed to be magical… but for a lot of couples, they feel more like a minefield of expectations, family pressure, tight finances, and old wounds that get stirred up every December. In this episode of Imperfectly Married, Michael and Heather get real about how the holiday season can quietly strain even healthy marriages — and how to protect your relationship before the stress hits full force.They share personal stories from their own journey: growing up in divorced homes, feeling pulled between multiple families, juggling four Thanksgivings in one year, trying to keep Christmas on a $500 budget for everyone, and carrying the unseen mental load of planning, shopping, wrapping, and managing all the details. They talk about the resentment that can build when one spouse does 99 percent of the emotional and logistical work, the pressure of “fairness” between families, and the guilt and shame that often come with money stress around gifts and traditions.Find us online:Website: https://imperfectlymarriedpodcast.com/Merch: https://imperfectlymarriedpodcast.com/storeInstagram: imperfectlymarried_thepodcast Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61576918626044TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@imperfectly_married