Are You in a Toxic Relationship? How to Know and What to Do About It with Stephanie Quayle

In this episode, you'll hear:

• What can you do once you realize you are in a toxic relationship?

Stephanie Quayle is an accomplished country music singer-songwriter and author who grew up in a blended family on a farm in Bozeman, Montana, where they raised bison and cattle. In 2009, she was in a long-term relationship, helping to raise her partner's 12-year-old daughter, and thought she would marry him one day. However, everything changed when he died in a plane crash, and five days later, at his public memorial service, she found out she was not the only woman in his life. The combination of losing the man she loved while finding out he was not the man she thought he was complicated an already chaotic grieving process. 

This story inspired her to write On the Edge, a deeply personal album that revealed her hidden self to the world. After releasing it, she quickly came to find out she was not alone. Stephanie tells us that many people reached out to her in solidarity with the complicated emotions of losing a loved one and then finding out about the lies. As her story spread, she knew she wanted to share what had happened to her and what she learned in a bigger way through a book. Not just as a memoir but as a tool to help others. Stephanie worked with W. Keith Campbell, PhD, one of the world’s leading experts in narcissism, to explain what she went through, help readers identify the patterns of a toxic relationship, and outline steps for getting out and healing. Why Do We Stay?: How My Toxic Relationship Can Help You Find Freedom outlines the signs of unhealthy relationships, defines important terms like love bombing, grooming, ego shock, gaslighting, and repetition compulsion, and offers thoughtful reflections at the end of each chapter, which will lead the reader to action.

In this episode, Mathew and Stephanie discuss how her relationship with her step-parents impacted the way she navigated relationships as she grew up, the dangers of romanticizing relationships, and learning to feel worthy of healthy love. Stephine also talks about taking ownership over her actions, how she got out of her toxic relationships, what she learned about herself through the pain, and how she views her past partners now.

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Resources:

• Say no without guilt + Starting new habits with Nicole Vignola

Connect with Mathew Blades: 

• Twitter - twitter.com/MathewBlades

Additional Credits:

• LFPWLI is managed by Sam Robertson