In The Messy Relationship Podcast

In Episode 63 of In The Messy, Jan explores why receiving love and reassurance can feel uncomfortable, how past criticism and painful experiences may shape your self-image, and why your inner critic can make it difficult to accept genuine care.

Learn how to recognize negative self-talk, understand the protective role of your inner critic, and begin developing a more compassionate and secure inner voice. Jan also shares a journaling exercise to help you reflect on caring words, consider the evidence behind them, and practice receiving love without immediately pushing it away.

Visit: Janettechu.ca
Email: jan[at]janettechu.ca
Newsletter: https://www.janettechu.ca/newsletter
Free Self-Help Workbook: https://gift.janettechu.ca/workbook
Secure-Self Scribbles: https://journal.feelgoodsecure.com/waitlist

In Episode 62 of In The Messy, Jan explores why distance can feel like disconnection, how early experiences may shape your need for reassurance, and why you might feel compelled to reach out, protest, or seek comfort when someone you love isn't available.

Learn how to soothe your inner child, respond to your emotional needs with compassion, and build a stronger relationship with your secure self. Jan also shares a guided reflection exercise to help you offer yourself comfort while learning to communicate your needs and receive support from your partner.

Visit: Janettechu.ca
Email: jan[at]janettechu.ca
Newsletter: https://www.janettechu.ca/newsletter
Free Self-Help Workbook: https://gift.janettechu.ca/workbook
Secure-Self Scribbles: https://journal.feelgoodsecure.com/waitlist

In Episode 61 of In The Messy, Jan explores why we overthink texts, how past relationship experiences can influence our reactions, and why repeatedly checking messages doesn't always bring the reassurance we need.

Learn how to recognize anxious attachment patterns, separate facts from fearful interpretations, and manage the urge to reread conversations or send another message. You'll also discover how to communicate your needs clearly, recognize genuine relationship concerns, and respond to yourself with greater compassion.

Visit: Janettechu.ca
Email: jan[at]janettechu.ca
Newsletter: https://www.janettechu.ca/newsletter
Free Self-Help Workbook: https://gift.janettechu.ca/workbook
Secure-Self Scribbles: https://journal.feelgoodsecure.com/waitlist

Will your partner leave you eventually? If you're constantly looking for signs of rejection, worrying when your partner needs space, or wondering whether you're enough to make someone stay, you may be struggling with fear of abandonment and anxious attachment.

In Episode 60 of In The Messy, Jan explores where the fear of being left comes from, how past experiences shape relationship anxiety, and how to distinguish old fears from genuine concerns in your relationship.

Learn how to recognize protective patterns like people-pleasing, reassurance-seeking, and pushing someone away before they can leave. You'll also discover practical ways to regulate your emotions, communicate your needs, and build self-trust without needing a guarantee that someone will stay.

Visit: Janettechu.ca
Email: jan[at]janettechu.ca
Newsletter: https://www.janettechu.ca/newsletter
Free Self-Help Workbook: https://gift.janettechu.ca/workbook
Secure-Self Scribbles: https://journal.feelgoodsecure.com/waitlist

Why is it so hard to communicate your needs in a relationship? If you're afraid of rejection, conflict, or being seen as too needy, you might stay silent, overexplain, people-please, or express your hurt in ways you don't intend.

In Episode 59 of In The Messy, Jan explores anxious attachment, communication skills, emotional regulation, and boundaries. Learn how to identify what you're feeling, understand the need underneath your reaction, and express yourself clearly without blaming others or abandoning yourself.

Visit: Janettechu.ca
Email: jan[at]janettechu.ca
Newsletter: https://www.janettechu.ca/newsletter
Free Self-Help Workbook: https://gift.janettechu.ca/workbook
Secure-Self Scribbles: https://journal.feelgoodsecure.com/waitlist

Why do you feel lonely in a long-distance relationship, even when you love your partner? Waiting for texts, missing time together, and struggling with uncertainty can bring up relationship anxiety, anxious attachment, and fear of losing connection.

In Episode 58 of In The Messy, Jan explores the challenges of long-distance relationships and how to manage loneliness, communicate your needs, and understand whether your feelings reflect past fears, current relationship concerns, or both.

Visit: Janettechu.ca
Email: jan[at]janettechu.ca
Newsletter: https://www.janettechu.ca/newsletter
Free Self-Help Workbook: https://gift.janettechu.ca/workbook
Secure-Self Scribbles: https://journal.feelgoodsecure.com/waitlist

Why do you want a relationship when you're single, but miss being single once you're in one? In Episode 57 of In The Messy, Jan explores relationship anxiety, anxious attachment, fear of commitment, and the push-pull between wanting love and wanting freedom.

Learn how to distinguish anxiety from genuine relationship concerns, clarify your needs and values, and use a weighted pros and cons list to make thoughtful decisions without needing perfect certainty.

Whether you're single, dating, or questioning your current relationship, discover how to understand your conflicting feelings and choose a path that aligns with the life you want.

Visit: Janettechu.ca
Email: jan[at]janettechu.ca
Newsletter: https://www.janettechu.ca/newsletter
Secure-Self Scribbles: https://journal.feelgoodsecure.com/waitlist

Do you have anxious attachment, or are you just experiencing relationship anxiety?

In Episode 56 of In The Messy, Jan explores anxious attachment, relationship anxiety, reassurance seeking, fear of rejection, and insecurity in relationships and why an attachment label doesn't define you.

Learn how to recognize recurring attachment patterns, separate anxiety from genuine relationship concerns, ground yourself when your mind starts spiraling, and respond from your secure self instead of reacting from fear.

You are not broken, and anxious attachment isn't a life sentence. Your patterns can change, and healing is possible.

Visit: Janettechu.ca
Email: jan[at]janettechu.ca
Newsletter: https://www.janettechu.ca/newsletter
Free Self-Help Workbook: https://gift.janettechu.ca/workbook

Why do you crave closeness but push it away when you finally receive it?

In Episode 55 of In The Messy, Jan explores fearful-avoidant (disorganized) attachment and the confusing push-pull between wanting love and feeling unsafe with intimacy. Learn how past experiences can shape your attachment alarm, how to regulate before reacting, communicate your needs, and build more secure relationships.

Visit: Janettechu.ca
Email: jan[at]janettechu.ca
Newsletter: https://www.janettechu.ca/newsletter
Free Self-Help Workbook: https://gift.janettechu.ca/workbook

Why are you so afraid of being alone? You can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely, unseen, or like you’re the only person who doesn’t belong.

In Episode 54 of In The Messy, Jan explores fear of being alone, loneliness, anxious attachment, relational loneliness, and the fear of never finding your person. Learn why loneliness can make you settle for unhealthy connections, people-please, rush intimacy, or abandon yourself just to feel chosen.

Visit: Janettechu.ca
Email: jan[at]janettechu.ca
Newsletter: https://www.janettechu.ca/newsletter
Free Self-Help Workbook: https://gift.janettechu.ca/workbook
SLOW Journaling cheat sheet: https://gift.janettechu.ca/slow