Welcome to episode 11 on increasing your fondness and admiration for your husband.  It makes a monumental difference between a happy and unhappy marriage.  

Today I’m going to give you ways to increase your fondness and appreciation and a simple way to share it to enhance your relationship. 

The opposite of fondness and admiration in your marriage is criticism and contempt. Here are some questions you can ask yourself to see where you stand on this topic. 

Do you ruminate on the faults and failings of your spouse? 

Do you think about your spouse more negatively than positively?

Do you compare your husband to other men and find him lacking?

Do you feel and share respect and honor for your husband?

Do you cherish him for who he is? 

Do you remember all the reasons you feel in love with your husband? 

Do you feel irritable with your husband more times than not?

If you answered yes to any of those questions, I hope this episode will help you. Just because you had more yeses than no’s, doesn’t mean that you are a bad spouse, or you have a bad husband. The women I work with don’t have horrible husbands, nor are they horrible wives. They are just humans-imperfect for sure, but not beyond hope. Most just need a little push in the right direction. 

And let me say here, even in a relationship with fondness and admiration present, there are times of dealing with glaring flaws, but they don’t override the honor and respect that is the foundation of the relationship. They still cherish one another despite it. 

So, how do you increase your fondness and admiration for your husband?

1.     Choose to change your focus.   

What’s your habit of mind with regard to your husband? Everyone feels negative at times, but if you are finding you are focusing on the negative, more than the positive, become aware of it. Because they focus on what is wrong, they miss what is right. People who have low self-esteem can also be critical because they are so critical of themselves. Changing your focus means you begin to look for the good in situations and your husband. This shift of focus takes time as you may be in a habit of negativity that takes practice to overcome. However, with this practice, you will find you become more positive and quite frankly happier and freer. If you have a beautiful flower garden, you may notice the weeds that creep up from time to time, but they don’t take away from the beauty of the flowers. 

2.     Get in the habit of looking for things you can appreciate about your husband. 

It doesn’t have to be a monumental thing. In fact, the more you notice the little things, the more and more your fondness and admiration will increase. Do you like how your husband dresses? Do you like that he knows how to fix things? Does he love to eat your cooking? Is he a good father, son, friend? Do you like how he laughs? I could go on and on with little things, but I think you get the idea. 

3.     Tell your partner what you appreciate. 

For complete show notes to this episode visit http://reviveyourmidlifemarriage.com/11