We are so excited to bring you our first interview on the Indepartner’s podcast!  Karon and Kurt had a chance meeting at a beer event a few years ago and bonded over both being in long distance committed relationships, and we’ve all been friends since. 

Listen in to hear how Karon and Steve met and fell in love. They have had two different phases of indepartnerships in their relationship and we’ll see how they used lessons from the first experience to make the second time great.  

We talk about their communication patterns (so different than ours, and perfect for them!) and learn their perspective on the highs and lows of being long distance.  They share their advice for couples starting indepartnerships or for anyone looking for new ways to grow their relationships.

Thanks for listening!

Original Indepartners theme song composed by David W.K. Johnson.

Get in touch with us:

• Email:                          [email protected]
• Text or Voicemail:      504-313-4425 
  
  
• Follow our podcast on Instagram at @indepartnerspodcast
• Follow Kurt on Instagram at @urbankvrt
• Follow Lisa on Instagram at @doclisafink and online at demandtheshimmer.com

One fun and meaningful way that couples, Indepartners or otherwise, can be more intentional is to develop their own rituals. Couples can choose whether or not they want to celebrate traditional holidays, can do holidays on their own terms, and can create new rituals - regularly occurring events that celebrate life and are bespoke to the couple's interests and idiosyncrasies.

In Episode 5, Lisa and Kurt talk about how central rituals have been to their Indepartnership and why they matter.  In the first segment, they draw from research on the importance of rituals and differentiate traditions and routines.  In the second segment they describe their Renewal Dinner and how it's become a central touchstone in their relationship.  In the final segment they provide examples of some of their rituals just for fun, like Big Walk Day and the Christmas Eve Dive Bar Pub Crawl.  They also discuss ways to honor each other's important solo rituals.

As always, they wrap up with ideas listeners can try in any type of relationship.

Thanks for listening!

Original Indepartners theme song composed by David W.K. Johnson.

Get in touch with us:

• Email:                          [email protected]
• Text or Voicemail:      504-313-4425 
  
  
• Follow our podcast on Instagram at @indepartnerspodcast
• Follow Kurt on Instagram at @urbankvrt
• Follow Lisa on Instagram at @doclisafink and online at demandtheshimmer.com

Anticipation is one of the most underrated emotions. There is a natural cycle to indepartnerships involving not only anticipation of the next time together, but savoring of the limited time together and reminiscing about the joy of being together.

In Episode 4, Lisa and Kurt give their take on these three stages of the cycle. They nerd out over scientific research supporting the well-being benefits of each element. In segment one they talk about anticipation, emphasizing the emotions and behaviors that make this stage special (with bonus insight into Kurt's clothing obsessions). In segment two they provide ways to flex your savoring muscles.  In the last segment they review how intentional reminiscing practices can help extend the fun.

As always, they wrap up with ideas listeners can try in any type of relationship.

Thanks for listening!

Original Indepartners theme song composed by David W.K. Johnson.

Get in touch with us:

• Email:                          [email protected]
• Text or Voicemail:      504-313-4425 
  
  
• Follow our podcast on Instagram at @indepartnerspodcast
• Follow Kurt on Instagram at @urbankvrt
• Follow Lisa on Instagram at @doclisafink and online at demandtheshimmer.com

It’s no big news that communication is important to great relationships, but when you are indepartners, communication is the relationship most of the time!  This makes it especially important to be intentional and communicate about communication (so meta); intentional not just what you communicate about, but also how you do it and how often.

In Episode 3, Lisa and Kurt break down these three elements.  In the first segment, they discuss the different mediums of communication.  Get ready for a game of over/under regarding how often they use the phone!  In the second segment they talk about when (and how often) they communicate and the importance of taking advantage of the independent part of being indepartners, releasing the socially-imposed pressure to try to communicate as often as couples who cohabitate do.  In the last segment they hit on what they communicate about, and what they intentionally choose not to (and why).  

As always, they wrap up with ideas listeners can try in any type of relationship.

Thanks for listening!

Original Indepartners theme song composed by David W.K. Johnson.

Get in touch with us:

• Email:                          [email protected]
• Text or Voicemail:      504-313-4425 
  
  
• Follow our podcast on Instagram at @indepartnerspodcast
• Follow Kurt on Instagram at @urbankvrt
• Follow Lisa on Instagram at @doclisafink and online at demandtheshimmer.com

In Episode 2, we discuss intentionality, a word that came up so much in Episode 1 that Lisa invented a drinking game. A key benefit of choosing to live apart is the opportunity to design the relationship you want; as nerdy psychologists we explore what intentionality means and then how many opportunities there are to deliberately craft a relationship that works for both people - and strengthens them as a couple. In the second segment, we share insights about being intentional every day whether we are apart or in the same place at the same time. In the final segment, we ask some questions that anyone - in any type of relationship - can ask themselves and their partners to bring more intentionality to that relationship.

Thanks for listening!

Original Indepartners theme song composed by David W.K. Johnson.

Get in touch with us:

• Email:                          [email protected]
• Text or Voicemail:      504-313-4425 
  
  
• Follow our podcast on Instagram at @indepartnerspodcast
• Follow Kurt on Instagram at @urbankvrt
• Follow Lisa on Instagram at @doclisafink and online at demandtheshimmer.com

Date:                                                   February 14, 2025
Show Title:                                         Indepartners
Episode Title and Number:              1.  Myths:  Busted!

In their season launch, Lisa and Kurt talk about the origin of this podcast – and of their relationship.  Having received reactions to their choice to live apart indefinitely that range from pity to disapproval to confusion to admiration, they recognized the value of clarifying the benefits of an Indepartnership as a legitimate and desirable choice for a permanent and loving relationship.

Lisa and Kurt turn to AI to pick five of the central negative beliefs about long distance relationships and bust those myths with counterpoints from experience, observation, and behavioral science.  They introduce their take on the concept of intentionality – to be explored more in Episode 2. 

Key moments

·      Lisa and Kurt’s origin story [1:20]

·      Myth busting: [4:55]

Thanks for listening!

Original Indepartners theme song composed by David W.K. Johnson.

Get in touch with us:

• Email:                          [email protected]
• Text or Voicemail:      504-313-4425 
  
  
• Follow our podcast on Instagram at @indepartnerspodcast
• Follow Kurt on Instagram at @urbankvrt
• Follow Lisa on Instagram at @doclisafink and online at demandtheshimmer.com

Think long distance relationships never work? Think again! In Indepartners, two behavioral scientists talk about the advantages and opportunities that come with a permanent, loving relationship – that happens to take place in two different cities. 

Dr. Lisa Finkelstein and Dr. Kurt Kraiger have successfully navigated their careers while being, in their words, the happiest couple they know. As Lisa and Kurt explore the dynamics of love at a distance, couples living apart or living together will discover ways to be more intentional and get the most out of their relationships – and their personal lives.

Listen as Lisa and Kurt explore topics like intentionality, communication, and the value of rituals over holidays in a 30-minute format combining personal experience, humor, and relatable examples.  Episodes drop on the 14th of the month.  Join us on Valentine's day - February 14, 2025 - for our first episode. 

Thanks for listening!

Original Indepartners theme song composed by David W.K. Johnson.

Get in touch with us:

• Email:                          [email protected]
• Text or Voicemail:      504-313-4425 
  
  
• Follow our podcast on Instagram at @indepartnerspodcast
• Follow Kurt on Instagram at @urbankvrt
• Follow Lisa on Instagram at @doclisafink and online at demandtheshimmer.com