In this episode of Infinite Thoughts with Taya Shokker, fall into the world of dreams, success, and football culture. I discuss the difficulties I’ve encountered in football over the last few years and how my experiences made me feel alone in the football world. I question myself, why I play, and if what I could gain is worth what I could lose..I hope listeners can relate to or understand the themes of this episode and know they’re never alone in their struggles. And you don’t have to have all the answers either. I still don’t have an answer to my biggest question, what dosage of football is the right dosage for me?

Welcome back to another episode of Infinite Thoughts hosted by Taya Shokker with special guest, and my best friend, Mama Shokker! This episode is all about the heartbreak of feeling disappointed by people, the lack of true connection, and the grief of accepting things as they are. In the last few months, my rules and beliefs about people have been challenged, immensely. I sought to understand, process, and deepen my understanding of my emotions. This episode is a window into the recent themes in my life and the result after a major change. This is where I've landed.

Your knowledge does not define your worth. What mindsets can help you learn effectively and quickly? What holds you back from admitting you have areas to grow? If you believe you've surpassed someone, you will not appreciate their perspective on the path you have traveled. "Humble yourself enough to sit at the bottom and claw your way back up. Again. And again. And again." I believe the goal is to come into an environment with a confidence in yourself, knowing that you're capable, that you deserve a spot there, that you are worthy as you are. But also being able to see that you don't know everything. And by admitting to imperfection, we make room for authenticity.

Challenging yourself isn't always easy. When you're operating on the edges of your ability, mistakes are inevitable. Pushing past those barriers is what orchestrates greatness. When something isn't working anymore, instead of being complacent in our beliefs, can we evolve past them? "Challenging yourself can also mean challenging your mindsets, challenging your fears. Challenge yourself to step outside of that comfort zone, the comfort zone that you’ve created not out of comfort but out of fear." Instead of being held down, tethered by our fears, can we learn to become lighter, more free? It is here – between tethered and floating – that balance exists.

I'm realizing recently that a lot of my confidence comes from sport. When I'm able to learn, fail and play I'm a lot more confident than when I'm not able to do those things. Confidence on the pitch translates elsewhere, into all other areas of my life. My team is incredibly important to me. I've always had strong emotions towards the success of my teammates each individually and as a group. My life has changed a lot over the past few years and I'm excited to see where my life takes me going forward. Good things are on the horizon.

Being able to solve problems is not only a skill but it pushes you to think and be more creative. I was never able to view my ability to communicate in French as a skill. Whenever I'd get stuck or have trouble with my vocabulary, I was defeated. I completely turned a blind eye on the fact that I was still able to communicate, despite not knowing the correct vocabulary. Recently I learned that having the creativity and ability to work around road blocks is a huge skill to have. Creating a Plan B, C, D or even Z is sometimes the biggest accomplishment.

How can being courageous with your life affect your mindset and the mindset of those around you? Why is having a growth mindset important? And how does one person's courage to try new things create an environment for those around them to do the same? Today I chat with one of my favourite people – my mom – about the growth mindset. I discuss my personal experiences and changes I'm seeing in all aspects of my life and how coaches can have everlasting effects on their players.

What is the best mindset to have during an injury? What do you do when things are uncertain? Through my recent experience, I learned the importance of keeping a positive outlook during tough circumstances. What's happened has happened, no amount of worrying or stressing will change that. You can come back from anything, we're an adaptable species. Through hard work and perseverance, anything is possible. Visualization is a powerful skill that can be applied to a variety of situations. And finally, learn to elevate the mind when the body can't.

"i closed my eyes to look inward and found a universe waiting to be explored." - inward by yung pueblo

Everything in the final third is about risk and reward. Over the past few weeks I've come to a few revelations. about how to attack and what I can change to become a more dangerous player. I share those thoughts with all of you during Episode 4 of Infinite Thoughts.