Researchers Develop Sustainable Cellulose Foams to Replace Petroleum-Based Materials

In a rare display of human ingenuity not entirely shackled by short-term profit, researchers have developed foams derived from cellulose-offering a sustainable alternative to the petroleum-based materials that currently infiltrate everything from car interiors to kitchen sponges and sporting goods. If adopted widely, this research could signal a modest retreat from the oil industry’s relentless grip on manufacturing, suggesting that progress, while glacial, is not entirely extinct.

Prime Minister’s Questions: A Theatrical Parade of Empty Rhetoric

At this week's Prime Minister’s Questions, the intelligence-gathering exercise (otherwise known as identifying the questioners) delivered a tedious parade of backbenchers hoping to outdo one another in staged indignation. From Labour’s Paul Waugh to Kim Johnson and perennial Lib Dem interruptions courtesy of James MacCleary and Steff Aquarone, all were present and eager to clutch their moment in the dim parliamentary limelight. With Green MP Adrian Ramsay bringing token environmental outrage and Conservative Harriet Cross making the obligatory appearance to prop up government talking points, the session once again proved that when it comes to posing questions, quantity consistently triumphs over substance. For those searching for genuine scrutiny or meaningful debate, you must be new here.

The Diminishing Relevance of Elon Musk’s Pronouncements

Remark of the Day: “No one really cares what he says anymore,” a senior White House official told CNN about Elon Musk-suggesting, with refreshing bluntness, that even the most attention-hungry billionaire might eventually drown in his own irrelevant noise. It seems that relentless self-promotion, impulsive provocations, and a perpetual need for validation do have diminishing returns, even in a culture that mistakes wealth for wisdom.

‘Squid Game’ Season 3 Tops Global Netflix Rankings

Humanity’s appetite for watching dystopian scenarios that mirror their own bleak reality continues unabated, as Netflix announces the third and final season of the South Korean juggernaut has shattered global streaming records. Congratulations to everyone involved-for turning society’s collapse into the nation’s favorite pastime.

House Faces Vote on Trump-Backed Legislation: Principle vs. Party Loyalty

The House is poised for a vote on a signature Trump initiative, though expecting congressional Republicans-after a relentless season of party-line obedience-to suddenly defy the former president is as plausible as expecting a lobbyist to forgo a bribe. The only mildly unpredictable element in this tired display comes from so-called “deficit hawks,” eager to posture in public before inevitably falling in line. Meanwhile, a handful of self-proclaimed Medicaid moderates feign concern over deeper cuts, but if history is any guide, their supposed resolve will wither at the first scent of party pressure. Once again, principle stands little chance against the irresistible force of partisan conformity.

Five All Blacks Selected to Challenge Lions as Farrell Warned of Impending Upset

In the world of rugby, it appears we are to behold that most predictable of plot twists: the supposedly invincible Lions facing the prospect of an upset, now that five All Blacks have been selected with the precise intent of dismantling their aura. Andy Farrell, ever the stoic, has been “warned” of what’s coming-as though one needs prophetic insight to recognize the threat posed by New Zealand’s finest. Perhaps the Lions’ camp might consider focusing less on press conferences and more on devising a plan that doesn’t hinge on divine intervention. The stage is set for another bemused post-match reflection on the “shocking” capacity of the All Blacks to win rugby matches.

Heathrow Closure Traced to Unresolved Issue Identified Seven Years Prior

In a display of bureaucratic brilliance, officials failed to address moisture-damaged components at a nearby electrical plant supplying Heathrow’s power-a problem flagged seven years ago. The neglect culminated in a fire that forced the airport’s closure. It’s reassuring to know that the nation’s largest airport is held hostage not by innovation or progress, but by the time-honored tradition of ignoring critical infrastructure warnings.

Emergency Response Underway After Large Explosions at California Fireworks Facility

In Esparto, California, a fireworks facility erupted in a series of explosions and fire Tuesday evening, forcing emergency evacuations and a widening perimeter as 70 acres burned and fireworks detonated inside the blaze. First responders labored against the inferno with the added challenge of unpredictable explosions, evacuating everyone within a mile of the site while keeping homes intact-no small feat for a system frequently stretched to its limit. Authorities, including the State Fire Marshal’s arson and bomb unit, are investigating the cause as the fire continued to burn late into the night. Despite the chaos, no injuries have been reported-an outcome more reminiscent of competence than luck, in a country so enamored with explosive spectacle that we literally manufacture disaster by the truckload. If officials can maintain this level of discipline until the smoldering finally stops, perhaps we’ll be spared further evidence of just how little regard our society typically has for sensible risk management.

Trump Suspends Key Weapons Deliveries to Ukraine Following Major Russian Airstrikes on Kyiv

Donald Trump has once again demonstrated his trademark decisiveness by halting key weapons shipments to Ukraine, citing concerns about shrinking American stockpiles. This, in the wake of Russia unleashing its largest barrage of missiles and drones on Kyiv since the war began-an attack so overwhelming that Ukraine’s air force, already battered and under-equipped, openly called it the “most massive airstrike” yet. The supposedly pragmatic move leaves Ukraine without Patriots, precision artillery, and anti-armour missiles as Russian forces continue tightening their grip over more of Ukraine’s territory-roughly the equivalent of swallowing up Great Britain’s constituent nations for scale.

Despite the usual chest-puffing rhetoric from the White House about putting “America’s interests first” and the Pentagon offering Trump “options,” it’s clear that promises of unwavering support for Ukraine remain as conditional and transient as ever-subject to political whims and public relations management. Aid will likely resume at some point, once all the right people have extracted the right concessions or photo-ops. In the meantime, Ukrainian lives hang in the balance, sacrificed to the ever-virtuous cause of optics and inventory management.

Lindsey Graham Faces Opponent in Republican Primary

Former South Carolina Lt. Gov. André Bauer has announced a primary challenge to Senator Lindsey Graham, insisting the longtime incumbent's conservatism is a marvel of seasonal migration-predictably appearing only at election time before fluttering back to bipartisan cooperation. As usual, Republican orthodoxy is measured not by policy outcomes but by the volume of complaints about insufficient purity. The cycle of performative conservatism continues, with ideological gatekeeping replacing any substantive vision for South Carolina or the country.

The Controversial Political Implications of Trump’s Bill

In a turn so ironic it almost feels intentional, America’s political landscape has flipped on its head. The party of golf courses and inherited privilege, once the Republicans, now courts the working class, while Democrats sip lattes in faculty lounges and tech offices. The GOP, delighted by its influx of voters without college degrees, discovers the downside: representing millions who actually depend on the very social safety net programs party doctrine has long derided. One might expect a reckoning, but more likely we’ll see the same hollow talking points, now delivered to an audience with entirely different needs. The only thing more remarkable than the reversal is the shamelessness with which both parties pretend nothing has changed.

Trump Claims Israel Has Accepted Terms for 60-Day Ceasefire in Gaza

According to the former president, Qatari and Egyptian intermediaries are set to present the finalized proposal to Hamas, with optimistic predictions that a truce could be implemented as soon as next week. One might almost believe that after months of devastation and diplomatic pantomime, the region's leaders are discovering the miraculous power of temporary silence, at least until the next show of brinkmanship resumes.

Judge Finds HHS Layoffs Likely Violated the Law

A federal judge has determined that the Trump administration’s recent mass layoffs at the Department of Health and Human Services were likely illegal, halting the reckless downsizing of the nation’s health workforce. Perhaps if those in power spent less time playing bureaucratic chess with public health jobs and more time grasping the concept of law, we wouldn’t need court intervention to prevent sabotage of essential services.

Eric Gordon Signs One-Year Contract to Rejoin 76ers

In a move that underscores Philadelphia’s ongoing obsession with patching holes instead of building actual foundations, the 76ers have re-signed Eric Gordon to a one-year veteran minimum contract worth $3.6 million. Gordon, once a key cog in Daryl Morey’s relentless attempts at competitive relevancy in Houston, returns after declining a player option for the microscopic difference of a few hundred thousand dollars-such is the arcane beauty of NBA salary cap wizardry.

Last season, Gordon managed a respectable 40.9% from three in just 39 games before injury ended his season, bringing a much-needed glimmer of competence to a roster otherwise distinguished by its frailty. Now, “veteran leadership”-a term as overused as “process” in Philadelphia-will be his primary function, with hope that his shooting touch somehow rubs off on rookie V.J. Edgecombe. Edgecombe, fresh off the Bahamas National Team, desperately needs what the Sixers bizarrely consider a rare commodity: a mentor who can make a jump shot.

Once again, the Sixers cling to continuity and incremental improvement, concepts they keep mistaking for progress, by investing in a player who at least knows which direction the basket is. In a franchise era marked by volatility and squandered star power, Gordon’s return is a competent, if underwhelming, decision. That sadly passes for shrewd management in Philadelphia these days.

US Consumers Increasingly Choose Free Ad-Supported Streaming for Live TV

In a development sure to thrill executives who believe relentless advertising is the lifeblood of modern civilization, 85 percent of US consumers now watch at least some form of live TV, with a marked shift toward free ad-supported streaming. Older viewers, those over 50, cling to their live television habits at a staggering 91 percent, while an impressive 78 percent of the supposedly tech-averse youth aged 18-34 also tune in. Clearly, the American public will tolerate any amount of advertising, so long as they do not have to pay one more cent for yet another streaming subscription.

Study Finds Televisions Increasingly Used for Nontraditional Purposes

The modern American household, now boasting an average of two smart TVs, has apparently decided the greatest use for these increasingly sophisticated screens goes well beyond actually watching television. LG and Samsung may lead the market, but the true story is in the contortions consumers are achieving-using televisions for everything from streaming obscure YouTube yoga channels to endless conference calls that could have been avoided entirely. Roku and Fire TV continue their steady advance, further fragmenting a landscape that once at least implied its purpose in the name "television." Hub Entertainment Research's annual findings suggest we are witnessing the transformation of the TV from communal hearth to an overengineered, multi-functional glowing rectangle for every conceivable digital distraction-except, increasingly, traditional TV.

Twenty States File Lawsuit Against HHS to Prevent Medicaid Data Sharing with Immigration Enforcement

Twenty states, led by California, have launched a lawsuit against the Trump administration in a bid to stop the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services from handing over Medicaid recipients' personal health data to the Department of Homeland Security and ICE. Evidently, there are still some officials who believe medical privacy should matter more than further weaponizing government surveillance against vulnerable populations. It is depressingly telling that such basic decency requires the intervention of the courts, but in an era where the boundaries between public health and punitive bureaucracy blur with astonishing speed, perhaps we should be grateful anyone even noticed.

Senate Rejects AI Moratorium Following Strong Bipartisan Resistance

In a rare moment of bipartisan clarity, Senate Republicans have stripped a state-level moratorium on artificial intelligence regulation from President Trump’s latest legislative spectacle, dubbed his "big, beautiful bill." Both parties-briefly united by a flicker of concern for data privacy and civil rights-acknowledged the stunningly reckless idea of gutting oversight while an effective federal framework remains nonexistent. No doubt this decision was made with deep reluctance, given the national addiction to political brinkmanship, but at least common sense prevailed, for today.

Federal Authorities Uncover $14.6 Billion Healthcare Fraud Scheme

Federal authorities have uncovered a $14.6 billion healthcare fraud scheme, an eye-watering display of criminal ingenuity only rivaled by bureaucratic indifference that allowed it to fester for so long. In a rare flash of inter-agency cooperation, the Department of Justice, Health and Human Services, and others claim they have finally decided to leverage technology, specifically a new "fusion center" using AI, to improve investigations. One wonders if this technological renaissance will keep pace with the creative ambitions of future grifters, or if taxpayers should simply brace for the next spectacular failure.

Phillies’ Rare Competence Forces Fans to Rethink Their Usual Despair

For those unfortunate enough to invest emotionally in Philadelphia baseball, there is cause for confusion: recent starts by Cristopher Sanchez have made Phillies games almost watchable, at least for purists who enjoy competent pitching and the near-total absence of scoring. Sanchez, having allowed only seven earned runs over 34 innings in June, has made “under” bettors the only group smiling in the ballpark, as offense has seemingly gone the way of congressional integrity: missing, unaccounted for, and unlikely to return soon. Even Nick Pivetta, the Padres' next sacrificial offering, looks average by comparison. While fans may yearn for excitement, it is competence-shocking, fleeting, and as rare in Philadelphia as public trust in authority-that currently defines this team.

Macron’s Conversation with Putin: Symbolism Over Substance, Again

In a stunning display of performative diplomacy, French president Emmanuel Macron has broken months of silence to speak directly with Vladimir Putin for the first time since September 2022. Naturally, this gesture follows nearly two years of destruction in Ukraine, endless futile speeches, and a sanctions regime notable mainly for its ability to generate headlines rather than results. The expectation that dialogue will somehow achieve what posturing has failed to accomplish is the triumph of hope over the relentless evidence of history. Those seeking substance in this engagement will, yet again, need to look elsewhere.

Philadelphia’s Basketball Culture Remains Self-Evidently Superior, Even as the WNBA Pretends Otherwise

Sophie Cunningham has uttered the obvious: Philadelphia’s claim as a basketball city vastly outshines Cleveland or Detroit, yet the WNBA continues its mystifying policy of expanding teams into markets that barely merit professional attention. Philadelphia, blessed-or cursed-with actual basketball culture, now waits until 2030 for its own team. Corporate rationalizations aside, the disparity between genuine basketball environments and the league’s wishful thinking is glaring. The NBA’s repeated flights to more dynamic cities underline the disconnect. It seems the WNBA will continue its doomed experiment in artificial parity, rather than accept the existence of true athletic culture.

UK Immigration Policy: Bureaucratic Madness Endangers the Public

The UK’s immigration system has fully embraced madness, now “managing” foreign sex offenders and drug traffickers within the community rather than removing them entirely. Dr. David McGrogan highlights what any minimally rational government would recognize: tolerating the presence of dangerous criminals under administrative supervision is indefensible. Yet, the machinery of British governance, crippled by a cocktail of cowardice, incompetence, and indifference, clings to its broken routine. Public safety, if it means anything at all, should not be diluted by bureaucratic equivocation. Apparently in Whitehall, even this basic truth is up for interminable debate.

Historical Commission Review Required for Two Proposed Homes in Queen Village

In a city determined to embalm its past yet leave its present in a perpetual state of bureaucratic limbo, Queen Village serves as an apt microcosm of Philadelphia’s ritualistic battle between preservation and progress. Developers recently acquired 700 S. 2nd St., a site where an 18th-century relic is conjoined with two forgettable modern additions. Their plan: erase the uninspired structures, erect two new four-story homes, and nod graciously to the neighborhood’s historic brickwork.

Naturally, this vision must bow first to the Historical Commission, an entity as slow-moving as it is capricious. Its staff, apparently surprised by the proposal’s lack of garishness, offered faint praise but gasped at the height and window treatments of the future homes. The Architectural Committee already fell back on its favorite stance-rejection-leaving the full Commission, notorious for its inconsistency, to potentially approve something after a round of predictable cosmetic surgery.

Of course, surviving the Commission means only that the ordeal can continue at the zoning board, already expert at stalling redevelopment attempts on this very property. The entire process is a tired ballet in which compromise is the only path to advancement, while innovation is left out in the cold. If these homes ever rise, it will be in spite of Philadelphia’s labyrinthine decision-making, not because of it. Hope here is less a strategy and more an inside joke.

Researchers Expose Deep-Rooted Bugs in C Compilers

In a bold effort to address the festering mediocrity of software reliability, researchers deployed Csmith, a randomized test-case generator, to expose the fragility rampant in widely-used C compilers. Over three years, they reported more than 325 previously unknown bugs-proving that every compiler tested was willing both to crash and to quietly generate incorrect code, all while processing supposedly valid inputs. Csmith’s ingenious design sidestepped undefined behavior, ensuring results weren’t muddled by the C standard’s own chaos. This “advance” in compiler testing evidently highlights the uncomfortable reality: software we depend on is built atop tools riddled with unforeseen faults, and utopian dreams of code correctness remain exactly that-dreams.

New York's Forsaken Homeless: Hotels as Shelters and the Costly Illusion of Help

Five charts reveal New York’s use of hotels to address homelessness-a picture that should embarrass every official pretending this is a solution rather than an abdication. As rents soar, shelters vanish, and evictions spike after the COVID-19 moratorium, state agencies now rely on hotels to house nearly half of all individuals and families seeking emergency shelter outside New York City. Most are left without basic services formally required in shelters-meals, child care, or help finding housing-because regulations conveniently exempt hotels, and the state's definition of which hotels must provide services is willfully restrictive.

Predictably, the number of people warehoused in hotels-and the length of their stays-has exploded, with families trapped in limbo for over six months. The state’s "solution" is impressively lucrative-for hotel owners. More than half of hotel payments exceed the fair market rent for a two-bedroom apartment, some more than doubling it. This wealth transfer has done nothing to stem the tide of human misery or inefficiency, except perhaps to demonstrate the private sector’s unerring instinct to extract profit from public dysfunction.

If misery loves company, at least these families can share theirs with cockroaches and mold: up to 40% of hotels sheltering the homeless were delinquent on required inspections as of October. The conditions, predictably, are often unsanitary and dangerous, featuring a rolling roster of emergencies from assaults to overdoses-all while regulators, facing this mounting crisis, resort to the bureaucrat’s favorite response: promising new rules and oversight, eventually.

New York's approach is not so much a safety net as a patchwork of desperate improvisations and neglected obligations, generating immense bills, inadequate care, and an ongoing windfall for opportunistic hotel managers. Until state leaders prioritize actual shelter capacity and affordable housing over expedient box-checking, families will continue to pay the price of their inertia.

US Stocks Rise Amid Looming Trump Tariff Decision

US stocks climbed today as investors braced for Donald Trump’s looming tariff decision, with many previous tariffs (hastily announced with typical bravado) having been postponed but now set to take effect on July 9. The financial markets, always eager for a chance to profit from chaos, responded in their usual fashion: with a burst of optimism laced with denial about the coming disruption to global trade. The cycle of political brinkmanship and market speculation continues, as ever.

Israeli Opposition Leader Demands Immediate Halt to Gaza Conflict

Israeli opposition leader Yair Lapid has issued a blunt call to end the prolonged war in Gaza, declaring that the conflict, now stretching past 20 months, serves only to damage Israel’s security, political stability, and economy. As Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu faces increasing pressure from foreign dignitaries craving a return to routine diplomacy and from his own former allies, Lapid emphasized that even Israel’s military leadership sees no point in continuing the assault. The military’s objectives, he says, have been exhausted.

Despite Israel’s declared intention to eradicate Hamas following the group’s October 2023 attack that left 1,219 dead, mostly civilians, Hamas remains stubbornly entrenched after more than a year and a half of carnage-suggesting that neither vengeance nor strategy has delivered victory, only mounting civilian deaths in Gaza now exceeding 56,500, a figure even the United Nations grimly accepts as credible. The opposition leader proposes replacing Hamas with an alternative government, potentially involving Egypt or other Arab nations.

Public sentiment is equally scathing: nearly two-thirds of Israelis reportedly want the war over, an opinion poll now more credible than the ambitions of government hardliners. Meanwhile, hostages remain in Gaza, and Netanyahu clings to the illusion that both their return and a decisive victory are somehow simultaneously achievable-a level of magical thinking that could embarrass even the most detached autocrat. In the face of unmistakable futility and implacable suffering, Lapid’s demand is not just a plea for peace; it’s an indictment of leaders too arrogant or callous to recognize reality.

British Lawmakers Host Exiled Shah’s Son to Advocate for Overthrow of Iranian Government

In a display of British parliamentary hospitality that would have impressed the architects of imperial misadventure, UK MPs from both sides-Labour’s Luke Akehurst and Tory Aphra Brandreth-have rolled out the red carpet for Reza Pahlavi, the self-styled "king in exile" and son of Iran’s ousted Shah. Pahlavi is apparently briefing lawmakers on his vision for replacing the ruling Islamic Republic with a secular democracy, though critics are quick to remind the world that his own family’s legacy is more closely tied to torture chambers than town halls. Labor Muslim Network chairman Ali Milani dismissed the invitation as an insult to Iranians "fighting for freedom and justice," noting Pahlavi’s persistent refusal to reckon with his father’s reign of terror. Pahlavi, no stranger to cozying up to power, cultivates Western allies and Israeli politicians while branding himself as Iran’s only plausible savior if the regime falls-a move met abroad with expletive-laden derision, notably from Pakistan’s defense minister. The entire spectacle is being orchestrated by Akehurst, a figure whose own record on international law (or at least on Israel’s occupation of Palestinian land) shows a breathtaking disregard for consensus, history, and the most basic definition of justice. In Parliament, at least, hypocrisy never goes out of fashion, and neither does nostalgia for the time when regime change was just a talking point over sherry.

Father and Daughter Rescued from Sea Following Cruise Ship Incident

On what was supposed to be a magical finale to their Disney cruise in the Bahamas, a father and daughter found themselves in desperate need of rescue after ending up in the sea. Thanks to the crew’s prompt action-imagine that, competence in action-the pair were safely retrieved, sparing their vacation from ending in disaster rather than disappointment over lackluster poolside entertainment. Occasionally, humanity manages to get it right.

Lawmakers Carve Out SNAP Special Treatment for Alaska and Hawaii

Senator Amy Klobuchar, leading Democrat on the Senate Agriculture Committee, has raised pointed questions over a GOP-supported initiative that would continue granting enhanced Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP) benefits to residents of Alaska and Hawaii, while reducing federal support for the rest of the country. Klobuchar dubbed this carve-out "special treatment," exposing the arbitrary favoritism and regional inequity sewn into the Republican proposal as part of a wider legislative package. Once again, lawmakers prove that fairness and consistency are luxuries they reserve for speeches, not policy.

Musk’s DOGE Stripped of Authority Over $500 Billion in Federal Funding

The US DOGE Service-the Frankenstein’s monster cobbled together to fulfill Elon Musk’s Department of Government Efficiency agenda-has been cut off from the government site controlling half a trillion dollars in annual federal awards. This comes after Musk’s vitriolic departure from the Trump administration, marking another spectacular failure for the fantasy that government waste can be excised by Silicon Valley egotism and PowerPoint presentations. The initiative, sold as a panacea for bureaucratic excess, now stands as another cautionary tale of grandiose promises collapsing under the weight of reality and clashing egos.

Bryan Kohberger Reaches Plea Agreement in Idaho Student Murder Case

Bryan Kohberger, accused of the brutal murders of four University of Idaho students, has reportedly agreed to a plea deal to avoid the death penalty. In a case that exposed horrifying violence and sparked nationwide outrage, the prospect of justice is now relegated to the procedural banality of a negotiated sentence. So many families devastated, and-once again-our system offers little more than a hollow concession to the enormity of the crime.

East Coast Travelers Suffer Major Delays Amid Weather and Incompetence

East Coast travelers endured major delays as severe weather disrupted holiday weekend plans, with airports from New York to Washington, DC transformed into holding pens for stranded passengers. New York's JFK kicked off the misery with 90-minute wait times, while Newark Liberty demonstrated the full combined power of thunderstorms and chronic staffing shortages, racking up four-hour delays that tested even the most optimistic vacationers. LaGuardia, ever the overachiever in chaos, engineered delays of up to three hours and led the nation in cancellations and holdups, as authorities scrambled with their so-called “Traffic Management Program.” By Monday night, some 600 flights had been canceled and almost 2,000 delayed across five major airports, as weather and woeful mismanagement turned the last vestiges of travel optimism into another airport purgatory. Just in time for the holiday.

German Cybersecurity Chief: Achieving Tech Sovereignty Requires Technical Solutions

Claudia Plattner, head of Germany’s cybersecurity agency, has dismissed the persistent fantasy that Europe can simply swap out foreign technology for homegrown alternatives-a delusion typically pedaled by bureaucrats plagued with chronic short-term memory. Plattner rightly calls for a focus on genuine technical solutions to secure control over critical cloud platforms, recognizing a wholesale shift to European technologies as “unrealistic” for now. Europe, with its penchant for grand declarations and feeble delivery, needs to move beyond political wishful thinking and finally confront the dismal reality of dependency and digital vulnerability.

Oracle Signs $30 Billion Annual Cloud Agreement

Oracle has secured a $30 billion annual cloud contract, making its previous $10.3 billion infrastructure business look almost quaint by comparison. The customer involved remains conveniently anonymous-no doubt to savor their financial recklessness in private. Revenue from this blindingly large deal will begin to appear in fiscal year 2028. CEO Safra Catz was quick to laud yet another “strong start” to the fiscal year, as if anyone outside the boardroom can still stomach such tone-deaf celebrations from Silicon Valley’s ivory towers.

For context, this is among the largest cloud contracts to date, eclipsing Oracle’s previous $9 billion defense deal which took years of government dithering and legal theatrics to achieve. Now, rather than sharing a slice with competitors, Oracle has claimed the entire buffet. As database revenues running on rival clouds continue to double, Oracle’s ability to extract ever-increasing sums from enterprises hopelessly shackled to outdated systems shows no sign of waning.