Glassboro Domino's Brawl, Chair Tossers Strike Officer, Police Seek Suspects
In Glassboro, New Jersey, a 2:44 a.m. Halloween-costume melee at a Domino's escalated when two men grabbed a red chair and hurled it at officers, striking one in the back of the head as arrests were underway. Surveillance shows customers on tables with phones out, the chair-throwers sprinting off like they just won Olympic gold in poor judgment. Police released stills and are seeking two males, one in a gray jacket, one in a light blue sweatshirt. Tips: text GLASSPD to 847411, call 856-881-1500, or email Detective Aitken at [email protected].
Two-Thirds Say U.S. Is on the Wrong Track, Bipartisan Grimace Achieved
An ABC News, Washington Post, Ipsos poll finds 67 percent of Americans say the country has gotten seriously off on the wrong track, while 32 percent see a better path. A rare moment of unity, everyone agrees the ship is sinking and the crew keeps insisting the smoke is normal.
Mississippi Homeowner Finds Escaped Rhesus Monkey, Hunt Continues
After a truck hauling nearly two dozen primates crashed, a Mississippi homeowner located one missing rhesus monkey on Sunday. Authorities say they are still tracking the last few escapees, because apparently modern logistics now includes a monkey roundup contingency.
Sam Altman Defends Trillion-Plus Compute Spree, Nadella Nods, Investors Invited to Sell if Nervous
OpenAI CEO Sam Altman says the company needs massive compute, forecasting sharp revenue growth, new products, and even a consumer device business. He claimed OpenAI is doing well more than 13 billion dollars in annual revenue and argued that AI that automates science will create huge value, while admitting the bet is risky. Pressed by host and investor Brad Gerstner on the Bg2 podcast with Microsoft’s Satya Nadella, Altman snapped, If you want to sell your shares, I will find you a buyer. Nadella vouched for the strategy, because nothing says confidence like trillion-dollar IOUs and a partner applauding the burn rate.
George Clooney Calls Kamala Harris a Mistake, Wants a Primary Screen Test
George Clooney says Democrats erred by handing Kamala Harris the nomination instead of staging a fast, battle-testing primary. He does not regret urging President Biden to step aside, he just wanted an audition first. Of course he did, Hollywood insists on screen tests for everything, including democracy.
Sports Betting Crackdowns Grow as Leagues Cozy Up to the House
With arrests and probes into illegal betting, insider info, and alleged game-rigging, the FBI has launched a crime-and-corruption-in-sports initiative. Lawmakers are pushing the SAFE Bet Act and the Betting on Our Future Act to curb ads, tighten age checks, and limit college prop bets. Meanwhile, leagues ink deals with prediction markets and sportsbooks roll out peer-to-peer wagers on anything that moves. When the leagues, broadcasters, and books are business partners, the fans start wondering whether the referees work for the house. If sports want credibility back, they will have to pick a side, integrity or the vig.
Trump Says Seth Meyers’ Mockery Is Probably Illegal, First Amendment Smirks
Donald Trump attacked NBC’s Seth Meyers after tuning in for the first time in years, declaring the criticism probably illegal, per the Daily Beast. A bold legal theory in a country where parody and political ridicule are not only allowed, they are practically a national pastime.