Initiations in Love Podcast

What if compassion is not something you need to create, but something already within you, waiting to be uncovered and cultivated?

In this episode, Britta sits down with her longtime friend Robert Cusick, former Director of Compassion Education at Stanford University's CCARE, to explore compassion as Love's natural response to suffering. Robert shares his own journey, from an early instinct to show up for others, through the painful end of his marriage, to becoming a Buddhist monk and ultimately devoting his life to the study and practice of compassion.

Together, they explore why self-compassion can be so difficult, how suffering can become a doorway rather than something to escape, and the quiet "stirring in the heart" that can become our North Star.

At the heart of their conversation is a simple truth: compassion is the way Love meets suffering. And learning to recognize and receive it may be one of the most important lessons in our School of Love.

Robert Cusick recently retired from his longtime role as Director of Compassion Education at Stanford University's Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education (CCARE), where he co-founded both the CCARE Compassion Lab (CCL), a four-month immersive training in compassion and transformative practice, and the Applied Compassion Training (ACT) program.

A Stanford lecturer, senior certified compassion instructor, former Buddhist monastic, and longtime meditation practitioner, Robert has spent more than three decades exploring the transformative potential of compassion across diverse contemplative traditions. His teaching draws from extensive training in Insight Meditation, Soto Zen, and Theravāda Buddhism, including twelve years of study and practice under the renowned Burmese meditation master Venerable Pa Auk Sayadaw.

Alongside his work in education, Robert provides grief counseling and bereavement support to adults, children, and families, helping them to navigate loss with compassion and resilience, and co-facilitates retreats for fathers grieving the death of a child.

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Want to know which initiation stage you're in? Take the quiz and learn how to meet it with greater awareness and courage. Click here.

If you liked this episode of Initiations in Love, tell your friends! Find us on iTunes, Spotify, and anywhere you listen to podcasts to rate/review/subscribe to the show.

Looking to buy Britta's book Initiations in Love? Click here.

Want more? Visit our WEBSITE, connect with Britta on FACEBOOK, and follow her on Instagram: @brittaeskey or @cortrainings. Thanks for listening and joining the conversation!

Resources and References:

• Take the Quiz - What Stage of Initiation are You In?

• Britta's Book - Initiations in Love

• CCARE - https://ccare.stanford.edu/people/robert-cusick/

Show Notes:

1:08 - Britta welcomes Robert Cusick, former Director of Compassion Education at Stanford University's CCARE, and introduces their conversation about compassion and Robert's personal journey

4:08 - Robert shares his earliest experience of compassion as a young boy visiting his sick aunt, discovering the power of simply showing up with love and care.

12:00 - Robert reflects on how compassion for others came naturally, while learning to recognize and respond to his own suffering required cultivating a deeper journey of self-compassion.

20:20 - Britta and Robert explore how our natural capacity for compassion can become obscured, and how recognizing moments of discomfort and self-abandonment allows compassion to emerge.

30:55 - Robert shares how the painful ending of his marriage became a spiritual turning point, eventually leading him to Buddhism and life as a monk in Burma.

39:48 - Robert describes the sense of coming home he found on his spiritual path and introduces the "stirring of the heart" as our inner North Star.

42:48 - Robert shares how he reconnects with his inner North Star and recalls a breakthrough in recognizing how his own resentment and mental stories were perpetuating suffering.

49:02 - Britta and Robert explore the courage of facing our suffering without turning away, and how recognizing painful patterns can become an act of self-compassion.

52:00 - Robert explores the many expressions of Love and shares his central insight that compassion is the way Love responds to suffering.

59:00 - Robert reflects on everyday opportunities to practice compassion, from profound losses to small disappointments, and how noticing our resistance helps us return to presence.

1:03:20 - Robert shares his personal North Star statement, a commitment to living with compassion, integrity, and awareness of life's preciousness.

1:06:15 - Britta and Robert reflect on cultivating the noble qualities already within us, and Robert invites listeners to begin each day with an intention toward kindness and Love.

1:11:24 - Britta thanks Robert for sharing his journey and reflections on compassion.

Production:

This podcast is produced, mixed, and edited by Cardinal Studio. For more information about how to start your own podcast, please visit www.cardinalstudio.co or e-mail [email protected].

What happens when your heart knows something is over, but saying yes to that truth feels almost unbearable?

In this follow up to Britta's conversation with LiYana Silver about the five phases of heartbreak, Britta explores separation and divorce as profound initiations. Whether you chose to leave, were left, or made the decision together, the ending of a relationship can dismantle not only the life you knew, but your sense of who you are and what you believed your future would be.

Britta shares a deeply personal reading from her spiritual memoir, Initiations in Love, "The Dreaded Moment," about the night she finally faced what her heart had known for years: her marriage needed to end. She explores the painful courage it can take to answer a call that will hurt the people you love most, and how we sometimes need to withstand the accusation of betraying another in order to not betray ourselves.

Through guided reflection and journaling, Britta invites you to listen to what is most tender and alive within you, discover what this initiation may be asking you to learn, and consider the gifts that may be forming even in the midst of heartbreak.

An ending does not automatically mean you have failed at love. When we allow heartbreak to become an initiation rather than simply a wound, even the endings we never wanted can slowly become sacred beginnings.

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Want to know which initiation stage you're in? Take the quiz and learn how to meet it with greater awareness and courage. Click here.

If you liked this episode of Initiations in Love, tell your friends! Find us on iTunes, Spotify, and anywhere you listen to podcasts to rate/review/subscribe to the show.

Looking to buy Britta's book Initiations in Love? Click here.

Want more? Visit our WEBSITE, connect with Britta on FACEBOOK, and follow her on Instagram: @brittaeskey or @cortrainings. Thanks for listening and joining the conversation!

Resources and References:

• Take the Quiz - What Stage of Initiation are You In?

• Britta's Book - Initiations in Love

Show Notes:

1:15 - Britta welcomes listeners back for a follow up to her conversation with LiYana Silver and explores separation and divorce as an initiation, whether you chose to leave, were left, or the decision was mutual

3:10 - Britta reflects on the grief of beginning again and the truth that no matter how a relationship ends, something within us dies and something new is waiting to be born, making heartbreak one of life's greatest potential initiations

3:58 - Britta revisits LiYana's five phases of heartbreak and how closely they complement the five stages of Initiations in Love, reminding us that healing does not come from simply getting over what happened, but from allowing ourselves to be taken all the way through

5:10 - Britta reflects on how every initiation contains a call and introduces today's reading from Stage 2, The Call, Chapter 11, "The Dreaded Moment," about the night she had to face a decision that would change everything

6:45 - Britta begins reading "The Dreaded Moment" from Initiations in Love, sharing the painful night when she finally answered the call to leave her marriage

21:00 - Britta invites listeners to notice how the reading landed, what feelings or memories surfaced, and what part of their own story may be asking to be seen, before moving into reflection and journaling

22:50 - Britta offers the following journaling prompts:

• If you are navigating a separation or divorce—or contemplating one—what feels most tender or most alive in your heart right now? What is asking for your loving attention?

• Whether you are the one who chose to leave, the one who was left, or the decision was mutual, what do you sense this initiation is inviting you to learn about yourself?

• In the midst of this heartbreak, what practices, people, or inner resources help you stay connected to yourself and to Love?

• If this heartbreak truly is an initiation, what gifts might life be preparing in you, even if you cannot yet see them?

25:40 - Britta closes with a grounding practice and a reminder that heartbreak does not have to mean we have failed at love. When we allow it to become an initiation rather than simply a wound, even the endings we never wanted can become sacred beginnings.

Production:

This podcast is produced, mixed, and edited by Cardinal Studio. For more information about how to start your own podcast, please visit www.cardinalstudio.co or e-mail [email protected].

Have you ever wondered how you are supposed to survive a heartbreak that feels like it is unraveling not only your relationship, but your very sense of self?

In this episode of Initiations in Love, Britta welcomes back women's coach and author LiYana Silver for a deeply honest conversation about divorce, heartbreak, and the Dark Night of the Soul. Together, Britta and LiYana explore what happens when a relationship, identity, and imagined future begin to fall apart. They walk through the phases of heartbreak and how staying present with the pain, rather than escaping it, can reveal the wounds, beliefs, and patterns ready to transform.

Ultimately, this conversation asks a deeper question: What if heartbreak is not only an ending, but an initiation into a truer relationship with yourself, with Love, and with the life that is waiting to emerge?

If you are in the midst of heartbreak, divorce, or a season when everything familiar seems to be falling apart, this episode offers companionship, perspective, and hope for the journey through.

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Want to know which initiation stage you're in? Take the quiz and learn how to meet it with greater awareness and courage. Click here.

If you liked this episode of Initiations in Love, tell your friends! Find us on iTunes, Spotify, and anywhere you listen to podcasts to rate/review/subscribe to the show.

Looking to buy Britta's book Initiations in Love? Click here.

Want more? Visit our WEBSITE, connect with Britta on FACEBOOK, and follow her on Instagram: @brittaeskey or @cortrainings. Thanks for listening and joining the conversation!

Resources and References:

• Take the Quiz - What Stage of Initiation are You In?

• Britta's Book - Initiations in Love

• LiYana's Book - Waking Up In the Dark Night of Divorce

Show Notes:

1:15 - Britta welcomes LiYana Silver back to the podcast and introduces divorce and heartbreak as a profound rite of passage, one that can take us through a true Dark Night of the Soul

3:50 - Britta invites LiYana to share her experience of reaching a breaking point and hearing the inner question, "How much longer?" Together, they explore this moment as an Awakening, when something within us knows we can no longer continue as we have been

8:20 - LiYana describes the disorientation and pain of dissolution and the invitation to "let it burn," discerning what needs to die and what is meant to be carried forward

13:00 - Britta connects LiYana's journey to the Transformation Cauldron, exploring that difficult space when healing may not yet mean feeling better, but simply feeling less bad

14:55 - LiYana introduces the five phases of heartbreak and the transformational journey from rupture and dissolution toward excavation, reimagining, and emergence

17:36 - Britta and LiYana explore how the phases of heartbreak may differ for women and men, and whether the journey changes depending on who initiated the ending

22:05 - LiYana explores Phase 2, Dissolution, and the importance of allowing ourselves to fall apart, feel the pain, and receive support rather than navigating heartbreak alone; Britta distinguishes between primary emotions and the secondary emotions that can intensify our suffering

31:00 - Britta and LiYana reflect on the natural movement of emotion, the importance of having someone stay with us in the pain, and "buffalo medicine" as an image for turning toward the storm rather than running from it

35:50 - In Phase 3, Excavation, LiYana describes the process of digging into the beliefs beneath our heartbreak and asking whether they are still true, bringing discernment and fierce curiosity rather than judgment to the question of how we got here

43:05 - LiYana introduces Phase 4, Reimagining, when new possibilities begin to emerge and we can reconsider what love and relationship might look like with ourselves, with others, and with the Divine

48:45 - In Phase 5, Emergence, LiYana describes the moment when the cauldron feels complete and we begin to recognize that the relationship was not a failure, but a meaningful chapter that has run its course

53:22 - LiYana shares where she finds herself now and how her relationship to the heartbreak and the journey has changed over time

56:30 - Britta reflects on the unexpected richness and beauty available when we are willing to enter fully into heartbreak, while LiYana shares final reflections and resources for those navigating their own journey

1:04:30 - LiYana offers a closing blessing to keep tending the embers of our inner fire and listening for the true north calling within, as Britta brings the conversation to a close

Production:

This podcast is produced, mixed, and edited by Cardinal Studio. For more information about how to start your own podcast, please visit www.cardinalstudio.co or e-mail [email protected].

What if the greatest obstacle to experiencing The Sacred (Or God/Spirit, or whatever name you use for the Divine) isn't "God" at all, but the image of God you've been carrying?

Many of us were taught to see "God" through the lens of fear, shame, obligation, or rules. But what if those images were never the whole and true story? What if God has been inviting you into greater freedom, not less?

In this follow-up to Britta's conversation with contemplative teacher Colleen Thomas, Britta explores how our earliest experiences of faith shape the way we relate to the Divine. Reading from Chapter 24 of Initiations in Love, she shares a deeply personal story of how a compassionate and wise spiritual director helped heal an old, fear-based image of God, not by answering every question, but by offering unconditional love.

Through guided reflection and journaling, Britta invites you to gently explore your own image of God, the experiences that have shaped it, and what it might mean to simply let yourself be loved.

Whether you call it; God, Spirit, Source, or Love, this episode is an invitation to discover that the deepest freedom may not come from striving harder, but from allowing yourself to receive the Love that has been waiting at the depth of your being all along.

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Want to know which initiation stage you're in? Take the quiz and learn how to meet it with greater awareness and courage. Click here.

If you liked this episode of Initiations in Love, tell your friends! Find us on iTunes, Spotify, and anywhere you listen to podcasts to rate/review/subscribe to the show.

Looking to buy Britta's book Initiations in Love? Click here.

Want more? Visit our WEBSITE, connect with Britta on FACEBOOK, and follow her on Instagram: @brittaeskey or @cortrainings. Thanks for listening and joining the conversation!

Resources and References:

• Take the Quiz - What Stage of Initiation are You In?

• Britta's Book - Initiations in Love

Show Notes:

1:10 - Britta welcomes listeners and invites them to stay open to the word "God," exploring the possibility that what we were taught about God may be very different from who God truly is, and that any true spirituality always leads toward greater freedom, aliveness, and authenticity

4:15 - Britta reflects on Colleen's relationship with God and how our image of God shapes our spiritual lives, returning to Colleen's powerful realization that her deepest freedom is found in God and in allowing herself to be fully loved

7:30 - Britta introduces today's reading from Stage 4, The Emerging, Chapter 24, "Let God Love You," and reflects on how healing a fear based image of God may require not a different God, but a different experience of God

8:20 - Britta reads "Let God Love You" from her spiritual memoir, Initiations in Love, sharing how two very different encounters with spiritual teachers shaped her relationship with doubt, faith, acceptance, and the unconditional love of God

26:20 - Britta invites listeners to notice what arose while hearing the reading, including the emotions, memories, and images of God that may have surfaced, before moving into a time of reflection and journaling

27:50 - Britta offers the following journaling prompts:

• What image of God did I grow up with? In what ways has that image shaped my life, my faith, or my understanding of freedom?

• Have there been people or experiences that helped me encounter God in a new way? What changed in me because of them?

• Is there an area of my life where I sense God gently inviting me into greater freedom or greater trust?

• What would it mean for me, today, to simply let God love me?

31:25 - Britta closes with a reflection on becoming more open and receptive to a Love that is not threatened by our questions or disappointed by our humanity, and invites listeners to let themselves be loved into greater freedom and aliveness

Production:

This podcast is produced, mixed, and edited by Cardinal Studio. For more information about how to start your own podcast, please visit www.cardinalstudio.co or e-mail [email protected].

What if the God you were taught to fear is not the God who has been calling you all along?

Many of us carry images of God shaped by fear, shame, or the pressure to get it right. But what happens when those images begin to fall away? What if the spiritual journey is less about becoming someone else and more about becoming deeply, authentically yourself?

In this conversation, Britta sits down with spiritual director and contemplative teacher Colleen Thomas to explore the initiations that transformed her understanding of God, freedom, and the spiritual life. Colleen shares her journey from a rigid, fear-based religious upbringing to discovering a contemplative path rooted in love, mystery, and belonging. Together they explore the courage it takes to follow an inner call, the invitations hidden within uncertainty, and why the deepest freedom is found not in escaping ourselves, but in becoming who we truly are.

If you've ever questioned your faith, wrestled with uncertainty, or sensed an invitation toward a deeper and more mature spirituality, this conversation offers a spacious and hopeful companion for the journey.

A Spiritual Director and long-time practitioner of Centering Prayer, Colleen Thomas delights in companioning others on their spiritual journey, facilitating contemplative prayer groups, workshops, and retreats with a particular passion for curating contemplative spaces for younger contemplatives and the BIPOC community in the Christian tradition. She serves as the Diversity Outreach Coordinator for Contemplative Outreach Ltd., where you can also hear her in conversation about Centering Prayer and the contemplative life on their podcast Opening Minds, Opening Hearts. After graduating from Fuller Theological Seminary with a MA in Theology and Art, she worked in television in Los Angeles for 15 years before relocating back to her hometown of Washington, D.C. where she enjoys thunderstorms, free museums, and frequent travel.

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Want to know which initiation stage you're in? Take the quiz and learn how to meet it with greater awareness and courage. Click here.

If you liked this episode of Initiations in Love, tell your friends! Find us on iTunes, Spotify, and anywhere you listen to podcasts to rate/review/subscribe to the show.

Looking to buy Britta's book Initiations in Love? Click here.

Want more? Visit our WEBSITE, connect with Britta on FACEBOOK, and follow her on Instagram: @brittaeskey or @cortrainings. Thanks for listening and joining the conversation!

Resources and References:

• Take the Quiz - What Stage of Initiation are You In?

• Britta's Book - Initiations in Love

• Opening Minds, Opening Hearts

Show Notes:

• • 1:08 - Britta welcomes spiritual director and contemplative teacher Colleen Thomas, introducing the conversation through the lens of Colleen's lifelong love story with God

  • 3:00 - Britta frames Colleen's journey as an Initiation in Love, exploring how the spiritual life unfolds through invitation, freedom, and relationship with the Divine

  • 4:00 - Colleen reflects on her earliest experiences of God's presence and the people who first nurtured her spiritual life

  • 7:40 - Colleen shares how an early call to God coexisted with a fear-based religious upbringing, exploring perfectionism, shame, and the pressure to earn God's love

  • 13:30 - Colleen recounts breaking away from the rigidity of her faith tradition after high school, discovering freedom while wrestling with the tension between the sacred and the secular

  • 17:40 - Britta and Colleen explore the paradox that true freedom is found not apart from God, but within God, even as old images of fear continue to soften

  • 19:55 - Colleen describes the inner call that led her to seminary, trusting divine guidance over certainty as a new chapter of her life began

  • 28:00 - Britta reflects on how saying yes to a genuine calling can completely change the trajectory of a life, as Colleen shares why she ultimately chose not to become a pastor

  • 31:40 - Together they explore the adventure of following God's invitations, embracing mystery over certainty, and discovering the sacred in ordinary life

  • 35:15 - Colleen reflects on spiritual flexibility, letting go of attachments, and allowing life's invitations to stretch and transform us

  • 38:57 - Britta and Colleen discuss how growth in love always brings us to an edge, returning to the theme that God continually invites us into greater freedom

  • 40:41 - Colleen shares how contemplative practices, new communities, and unexpected experiences—from Centering Prayer to television production—expanded and transformed her image of God

  • 51:00 - Colleen reflects on her years in reality television, the tension between security and deeper purpose, and how every chapter ultimately became part of her spiritual formation

  • 59:00 - Britta and Colleen discuss the cost of ignoring the soul's deeper longings and the courage required to create space to truly listen

  • 1:07:00 - Britta reflects on the ripple effects of following one's calling, while Colleen shares how letting go of familiar identities opened her to the next invitation

  • 1:13:00 - Britta reflects on the cyclical nature of the spiritual journey, where each ending becomes the beginning of a deeper invitation

  • 1:15:00 - Colleen expands on what she means when she says her deepest freedom is found in God

  • 1:16:35 - Colleen offers final wisdom on embracing uncertainty, loosening the grip of the false self, and trusting that every authentic call invites us into greater freedom and love

  • 1:26:40 - Britta brings the conversation to a close

Production:

This podcast is produced, mixed, and edited by Cardinal Studio. For more information about how to start your own podcast, please visit www.cardinalstudio.co or e-mail [email protected].

Have you ever looked back on one of the hardest seasons of your life and realized it changed you in ways you couldn't have imagined?

What if the very challenge you wished had never happened was shaping the gift you were always meant to give?

In this follow-up to Britta's conversation with Mark Steven Porro, Britta explores one of the most hopeful stages of the initiatory journey: The Gift. Drawing from Mark's moving story of caring for his aging mother and a reading from her Initiations in Love spiritual memoir, she reflects on how our greatest struggles can become the very places where love, compassion, wisdom, and purpose are forged.

Through guided reflection and journaling, Britta invites you to look at your own life through a new lens. Instead of asking, "Why did this happen to me?" be curious about "What gift might this experience be growing in me?"

If you're walking through a difficult season, or looking back on one that shaped you, this episode offers a gentle reminder that Love never wastes our suffering. If we're willing to let ourselves be taken all the way through, we, too, become the gift.

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Want to know which initiation stage you're in? Take the quiz and learn how to meet it with greater awareness and courage. Click here.

If you liked this episode of Initiations in Love, tell your friends! Find us on iTunes, Spotify, and anywhere you listen to podcasts to rate/review/subscribe to the show.

Looking to buy Britta's book Initiations in Love? Click here.

Want more? Visit our WEBSITE, connect with Britta on FACEBOOK, and follow her on Instagram: @brittaeskey or @cortrainings. Thanks for listening and joining the conversation!

Resources and References:

• Take the Quiz - What Stage of Initiation are You In?

• Britta's Book - Initiations in Love

Show Notes:

1:10 - Britta welcomes listeners back and reflects on her conversation with Mark Steven Porro, tracing his initiation from the unexpected call to care for his mother through to the gifts that emerged from the journey

3:00 - Britta revisits the profound role reversal of becoming a caregiver, the testing of unconditional love, and the unexpected beauty that can emerge through end-of-life care

6:00 - Britta explores Mark's guiding philosophy, "Find the Joy," as a spiritual practice of choosing gratitude, beauty, and connection in the midst of life's challenges

7:00 - Britta reflects on one of the deepest insights from the conversation: Mark believed he was rescuing his mother, but ultimately discovered that his mother was transforming him through presence, humility, devotion, and a deeper capacity to love

9:22 - Britta introduces today's reading from Initiations in Love, Stage 5: The Gift, exploring how our greatest challenges often become our greatest offerings

11:05 - Britta reads the introduction to Stage 5, "The Gift," reflecting on how the fruits of our initiations become gifts not only for ourselves but for the world around us

16:36 - Britta invites listeners to pause, notice what the reading stirred within them, and begin reflecting on the gifts hidden within their own initiations

19:00 - Britta offers guided journaling prompts exploring the gifts that emerge through suffering, hidden invitations within life's burdens, unexpected teachers, and the qualities of love strengthened through adversity

• Looking back on a difficult season in my life, what gifts emerged that I could not see at the time?

• Is there a responsibility, challenge, or relationship that I have been viewing only as a burden? What gift might be hidden within it?

• Have I ever discovered that someone I thought I was helping was actually transforming me? What did I receive from them?

• What qualities of love, compassion, joy, wisdom, or presence have been strengthened through my own suffering?

21:20 - Britta closes the reflection by inviting listeners to remember someone whose love shaped their lives, and reflects on how our greatest gifts are most often shared through ordinary acts of kindness, presence, and compassion

23:00 - Britta brings the episode to a close with an invitation to trust the initiatory journey and become the gift that life has been shaping all along

Production:

This podcast is produced, mixed, and edited by Cardinal Studio. For more information about how to start your own podcast, please visit www.cardinalstudio.co or e-mail [email protected].

Have you ever found yourself caring for someone you love and wondered how to keep your heart open when life becomes difficult, exhausting, or uncertain?

In this episode of Initiations in Love, Britta sits down with author Mark Steven Porro for a moving conversation about caring for his aging mother during the final years of her life. What began as an unexpected interruption became a profound initiation into love, compassion, and presence.

Together, they explore the realities of end-of-life caregiving, the role reversal between parent and child, and the surprising joy that can emerge even in the midst of grief and decline. Mark shares how learning to preserve his mother's dignity, create moments of beauty, and simply be present transformed not only her final chapter, but his own life as well.

This conversation is an invitation to discover that even in life's hardest seasons, love can deepen, joy can coexist with sorrow, and sometimes the person we think we are caring for becomes our greatest teacher.

Mark Steven Porro, a New Jersey native, earned an Industrial Design degree from The Ohio State University. After years of agency work, his love of acting led him to Hollywood, where he appeared in dozens of television, film, and stage productions. Mark also spent his twenty-eight years in Tinseltown, entrepreneuring. He started five non-profit companies. Mark is an award-winning designer, writer, director, and now a best-selling, award-winning author. He has written lots of jokes, several screenplays, and one award-winning short film. A Cup of Tea on the Commode—a sad, sweet, and funny debut memoir—chronicles his multitasking adventures of filling his mother's last years with love, laughter, and joy. He now lives in the South of France.

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Want to know which initiation stage you're in? Take the quiz and learn how to meet it with greater awareness and courage. Click here.

If you liked this episode of Initiations in Love, tell your friends! Find us on iTunes, Spotify, and anywhere you listen to podcasts to rate/review/subscribe to the show.

Looking to buy Britta's book Initiations in Love? Click here.

Want more? Visit our WEBSITE, connect with Britta on FACEBOOK, and follow her on Instagram: @brittaeskey or @cortrainings. Thanks for listening and joining the conversation!

Resources and References:

• Take the Quiz - What Stage of Initiation are You In?

• Britta's Book - Initiations in Love

• acupofteaonthecommode.org

Show Notes: 1:05 - Britta welcomes author Mark Steven Porro and introduces the theme of caregiving as an initiation into deeper love 3:00 - Britta frames the conversation through the Initiations in Love lens and explores the rite of passage of end-of-life caregiving 5:15 - Mark shares his mother's lifelong struggle with depression, her sudden decline, and the unexpected call that led him to become her full-time caregiver 14:00 - Britta reflects on Mark's growing sense that he was being called to play a bigger role for his mom, and Mark shares stories of his siblings and his initiation into becoming a parental figure to his own mother 17:00 - Mark speaks to caregiving as a profound expression of unconditional love 18:30 - Britta highlights Mark's wholehearted response to the call, and Mark shares how creating salon days, beautiful clothes, and "Days of Beauty" helped preserve his mother's dignity and joy 26:00 - Britta recognizes Mark's creativity and gift for innovation, and Mark reflects on using those gifts in service to his mother, eventually realizing that she had, in many ways, rescued him 30:00 - Britta explores the deeper spiritual dimension of caregiving and asks Mark what made him say yes to such a difficult path; Mark shares why caring for his mother simply felt like the right thing to do 40:40 - Britta asks about the hardest moments, and Mark opens up about the vulnerability of witnessing his mother's physical decline, navigating her darker moods, and wrestling with his own moments of frustration and doubt 47:45 - Britta reflects on how unconditional love gets tested through caregiving and names it as a true rite of passage; Mark shares the origins of his lifelong motto, "Find the Joy" 56:45 - Mark describes how creativity became part of his grieving process and reflects on the gifts that emerged from this initiation, including his book and a deeper appreciation for life 1:03:00 - Britta and Mark speak to our shared humanity and Mark offers words of encouragement for those walking the path of end-of-life caregiving 1:08:00 - Britta brings the episode to a close with a reminder to find the joy, even in life's most difficult seasons

Production:

This podcast is produced, mixed, and edited by Cardinal Studio. For more information about how to start your own podcast, please visit www.cardinalstudio.co or e-mail [email protected].

Are you exhausted from trying to hold it all together? Constantly striving, performing, managing, fixing, and controlling in order to feel safe, worthy, or good enough?

In this follow-up episode of the Initiations in Love podcast, Britta explores one of the deepest Survivor Self strategies of all: the illusion of control. Following her conversation with Dr. Ilana Nankin, who shared how a devastating 44-foot rock climbing fall shattered the identities she had built around achievement and productivity, Britta dives deeper into what happens when life interrupts our carefully constructed sense of self.

Reading a powerful passage from her spiritual memoir, Initiations in Love, Britta recounts a profound unraveling experience during a COR Leadership Training, where the masks, identities, and Survivor Self strategies she had relied upon suddenly revealed themselves as a fragile house of cards. What emerged was a humbling but liberating truth: beneath the striving, beneath the performance, beneath the need to control, there is something far more real.

Through reflection and guided journaling prompts, this episode invites you to gently examine the roles, masks, and identities you may be working hard to maintain, and to consider what might become possible if you loosened your grip and allowed truth to emerge.

If you're tired of performing, carrying the weight of responsibility for everything, or trying to control what cannot be controlled, this episode offers a compassionate invitation to return to what is real.

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Want to know which initiation stage you're in? Take the quiz and learn how to meet it with greater awareness and courage. Click here.

If you liked this episode of Initiations in Love, tell your friends! Find us on iTunes, Spotify, and anywhere you listen to podcasts to rate/review/subscribe to the show.

Looking to buy Britta's book Initiations in Love? Click here.

Want more? Visit our WEBSITE, connect with Britta on FACEBOOK, and follow her on Instagram: @brittaeskey or @cortrainings. Thanks for listening and joining the conversation!

Resources and References:

• Take the Quiz - What Stage of Initiation are You In?

• Britta's Book - Initiations in Love

Show Notes:1:15 - Britta welcomes you to the podcast and reflects on her conversation with Ilana Nankin, the impact of her 44-foot fall, and how life interrupted the identities she had built around achievement, productivity, and being the one who always keeps going 3:00 - Britta explores the deeper questions beneath Ilana's initiation: Who am I without striving, accomplishing, performing, or controlling? She examines the illusion of control and the ways we attempt to create safety through doing 5:30 - Britta discusses the "linchpin" of the false self, the sophisticated strategies of the Survivor Self, and how our masks, roles, and core beliefs keep us separate from the truth. She reflects on how awakening begins when life exposes what we have been unwilling to face 11:35 - Britta introduces today's reading from Initiations in Love, Stage 4: Emerging, from the chapter "The House of Cards" 13:40 - Britta reads a powerful excerpt describing her own unraveling experience during a leadership training, where identities, masks, and survivor strategies began to collapse in the light of truth 23:20 - Britta invites listeners to notice what was stirred by the reading and reflects on the sacred process of allowing the false self to unravel in service of discovering what is real 24:30 - Britta offers journaling prompts exploring masks, control, performance, truth, and the identities we work so hard to maintain:

• What identity, role, or mask am I working way too hard to keep intact?

• Where am I calling it responsibility, when it is actually control?

• What truth would collapse the house of cards if I finally admitted it?

• What would remain if I stopped performing?

• Where am I full of shit (Please excuse our language!), and what would it cost me to finally tell the truth?

29:20 - Britta closes with a gentle invitation to bring awareness and compassion to the masks that once helped us survive, loosen our grip on control, and allow life to return us to what is real, true, and loving

Production:This podcast is produced, mixed, and edited by Cardinal Studio. For more information about how to start your own podcast, please visit www.cardinalstudio.co or e-mail [email protected].

What happens when life suddenly interrupts the identity you've worked so hard to build?

What if the very thing that breaks your momentum… also breaks through the masks you didn't even realize you were wearing?

In this episode of Initiations in Love, Britta sits down with educator, entrepreneur, and Breathe For Change founder Dr. Ilana Nankin for a powerful conversation about achievement, perfectionism, control, and the identities we construct to feel worthy, successful, or enough.

After surviving a devastating 44-foot rock climbing fall that should have left her paralyzed or worse, Ilana found herself in an initiation she never saw coming. Forced to slow down and unable to operate at the same pace and productivity that had long defined her, she began confronting what lived underneath the striving.

Together, Britta and Ilana explore miracles, mortality, authenticity, the "achiever mask," and how life's disruptions can become invitations into deeper presence, gratitude, and truth.

This conversation is an invitation to pause… listen inward… and ask yourself if you're willing to find out what remains if the masks fell away.

Dr. Ilana Nankin is the Founder and Co-CEO of Breathe for Change, a transformative higher education institution. Ilana is an award-winning educator and entrepreneur whose classroom experience revealed a powerful truth: when teachers thrive, students succeed. That realization led her to earn her Ph.D. in Curriculum and Instruction, where her research on educator well-being became the foundation for Breathe for Change.

Through evidence-based Master's of Education programs, teacher trainings, and graduate-level certifications, Breathe for Change has empowered more than 20,000 educators across thousands of schools and districts nationwide to enhance their own well-being, improve educational outcomes, and unlock their full human potential. Learn more about Ilana and her movement at breatheforchange.com

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Want to know which initiation stage you're in? Take the quiz and learn how to meet it with greater awareness and courage. Click here.

If you liked this episode of Initiations in Love, tell your friends! Find us on iTunes, Spotify, and anywhere you listen to podcasts to rate/review/subscribe to the show.

Looking to buy Britta's book Initiations in Love? Click here.

Want more? Visit our WEBSITE, connect with Britta on FACEBOOK, and follow her on Instagram: @brittaeskey or @cortrainings. Thanks for listening and joining the conversation!

Resources and References:

• Take the Quiz - What Stage of Initiation are You In?

• Britta's Book - Initiations in Love

• breatheforchange.com

Show Notes: 1:00 - Britta introduces Dr. Ilana Nankin, educator, entrepreneur, and founder of Breathe For Change 2:50 - Ilana shares the origins of her life's mission and the inner drive that taught her to keep going until she arrived at what mattered most 6:25 - Britta introduces the "Initiations in Love" framework and invites Ilana to share the miraculous, life-altering story of surviving a 44-foot climbing fall 18:00 - Ilana reflects on the profound gratitude that emerged from her near-death experience and the perspective shift it created 21:45 - Ilana shares what feels most alive and integrated now: quieting the achiever identity, appreciating what she already has, and living with greater joy, awe, and presence 24:00 - Through personal stories, Ilana reflects on becoming more attuned to the preciousness of everyday life and the shift from victimhood into welcoming what is 27:20 - A deeper initiation unfolds as post-accident concussion symptoms force Ilana to stop working, leading to the crumbling of identity, surrender of control, and quieter layers of healing 34:50 - Britta and Ilana discuss being "in the midst of it" and what Britta refers to as the Emerging stage of initiation 37:15 - Britta reflects on the loosening of ego structures, the invitation to face deeper truth, and the awakening of awareness and meta-awareness 42:10 - Together they explore the "big bang" awakening moments that radically interrupt the familiar sense of self 44:00 - Ilana shares her growing intolerance for what feels misaligned or inauthentic, while Britta reflects on the subtle call to come home to oneself and cultivate a more balanced inner life 53:00 - Ilana speaks to authenticity, the exhaustion of "wearing masks," and how the experience reshaped the way she relates to herself and others 59:00 - Ilana offers final words of wisdom on gratitude, presence, and cultivating an "attitude of gratitude" 1:02:00 - Britta brings the episode to a close

Do you ever feel a pull inside you… an inner knowing that something in your life is asking to change, awaken, or deepen, even if you can't fully explain it?

Or perhaps life has already disrupted your familiar way of being, and you sense you can no longer continue as you once did.

In this follow-up episode to Britta's conversation with John Prendergast (Episode 47), she explores the nature of "The Call," that unmistakable invitation that asks us to listen and respond from the heart. Through a deeply personal passage from Initiations in Love, Britta shares her own initiation into the sacred feminine and the moment she first recognized the calling that would eventually become COR and her life's work.

This episode explores what it means to trust the intuitive, receptive parts of ourselves, to loosen the grip of fear and overthinking, and to say yes to what is unfolding, even before we fully understand where it will ultimately lead.

Through reflection and guided journaling prompts, you'll be invited to explore where a call may already be stirring within your own life, and what it might mean to stay close enough to truly hear it.

- - - - - - - - -

Want to know which initiation stage you're in? Take the quiz and learn how to meet it with greater awareness and courage. Click here.

If you liked this episode of Initiations in Love, tell your friends! Find us on iTunes, Spotify, and anywhere you listen to podcasts to rate/review/subscribe to the show.

Looking to buy Britta's book Initiations in Love? Click here.

Want more? Visit our WEBSITE, connect with Britta on FACEBOOK, and follow her on Instagram: @brittaeskey or @cortrainings. Thanks for listening and joining the conversation!

Resources and References

• Take the Quiz - What Stage of Initiation are You In?

• Britta's Book - Initiations in Love

Show Notes 1:05 - Britta welcomes you to the podcast, reflects on her conversation with John Prendergast and explores themes of awakening of the heart, early spiritual openings, the seeking mind, grief and suffering as portals, the sacred heart, and the subtle inner call that asks us to respond

7:10 - Britta introduces today's reading from Initiations in Love, Stage 2: The Call, exploring initiation, receptivity, and what it means to say yes to something deeper calling from within

9:38 - Britta reads the excerpt "The Call of the Feminine," sharing one of her first profound experience of initiation, sacred sisterhood, and awakening into her life's calling

22:18 - Britta invites listeners to pause and notice what was stirred by the reading: emotionally, physically, and spiritually

23:15 - Britta invites you to grab paper and a writing utensil for journaling prompts

• Where in my life do I sense a call—whether quiet or unmistakable—that is asking for my response?

• What form is that call taking right now? A subtle pull, a restlessness, a disruption, a clear knowing?

• What makes it difficult for me to say yes to this call?

• When I imagine responding to it, what do I feel in my body?

• How do I relate to the more receptive, intuitive aspects of myself—the parts that listen rather than figure things out?

• Is there a place in my life where I am being invited into a deeper expression of who I am, even if I don't yet know what that fully looks like?

27:20 - Britta closes the episode with a reflection on listening from the heart, connecting with the body's centers of receptivity, and trusting that something within is already listening and already knows