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In this week's tour of the world's Crooks, F*ckwits and Morons:

1. Epstein Files release vote goes to Congress: “It’ll be the first bill we’ve read in years!”
2. Trump prepares Epstein defence: “I asked for 18 but Jeff gave me 20% off!”
3. 2020 Stolen Election hoaxsters are pardoned: “We just can’t fucking count, ok?”
4. President Thomas Jefferson strongly denies slave mistress/kids slur in brave new memoir “Brown Sugar (How Come You Taste So Good?)”
5. Plus, Democrats enlist Survivor legend Richard Hatch to run against Trump: “We need a man we can trust!”

All this and so much more from the worst week ever til next Monday:

1. David Attenborough survives Henry’s murder attempt - “This, viewers, is the all-Australian Idiot...”
2. BBC settles Trump lawsuit by seconding Barcelona listener “Manuel” to White House - We smell a rat!
3. Trump Wine selling like crazy at Coast Guard chandlery - “We get 50 nautical miles to the gallon!”
4. French star Beau Jolais releases 2025 Thanksgiving porno "Top Notes of Cherry” 
5. Lily Allen new album surprise hit with middle aged married guys who “just want to change it up a bit”. Except David Harbour!
6. Lawyer Sidney Powell alleges 'clear vote fraud' by jury in trial of new client Jonathan Braun - "drug-dealing, wife-bashing, kid-pushing, synagogue-fighting and nanny-jizzing do not make him a criminal!"
7. WWE's John Cena fights Big Oil, Big Tobacco, Corruption that goes all the way to the top, to finally win Double Bay 40-49yo Contract Bridge cup (partnered w Consultant Emeritus “The Edgecliff Hammer” Dr Maltz)
8. Bollywood superstar Amit Khan battles KISS stickman Eric Carr to be Undisputed AI Intercuntinental Champion! 
9. On world-class undercard, noted sexism victim Megyn Kelly gives more than she got
10. AND, Eva loses “World’s Worst Braun” title to secret grandson Jonathan - On the upside he’ll spend the next 27 months in a bunker

In the comedy podcast with all the latest news, explained by idiots - The Honk & Henry Lee (Rudy Giuliani at Hilton International...squash courts, SA)

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Produced, edited and compiled by Junior 

Additional editing by The Honk, ably assisted by Sergeant Himmler, NSW Police Jewish Community Liaison, Buchenwald 

Digital design & social media by Guantanamo Babe

All episodes of Instant Experts proudly mixed at The Resolute Desk, when not being used as a pool table

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