Welcome, Ahmer!

On this episode, Ahmer shares stories about proactive and reactive intentionality. More of a conversation between friends, listen in to hear about:

He even shares some insights from workplace thriller Severance and fantasy drama series Game of Thrones. Shhh… maybe we won’t notice you’re there! You can connect with Ahmer on LinkedIn here.

Does your form of escape have a negative, positive, or neutral impact on your life?

You can probably think of forms of escape that have a negative impact on your life. There are positive escapes from your everyday reality that refresh and revitalize you, offering new perspectives that add to your life too. Perhaps your ‘escape’ is a part of your everyday routine.

Some questions you might consider: Was this time well spent for me? Am I doing this activity to avoid something else? How do I choose to care for myself? How do I feel afterwards?

Things are not inherently negative, but how we might use activities - like reading, eating, working or several other activities - can lead us down a path that we didn’t intend to go down. And yet, making the choice to spend time in a certain place or in a certain way can also provide the space to be more present in your life, both in the moment and afterwards.

Thanks to Ahmer and Masako who shared their thoughts on escapism for this episode.

Welcome, Gary!

On this episode, Melissa speaks with Gary Kent who is currently the Chief Financial Officer and Commissioner of Corporate Services for the Region of Peel in Ontario, Canada, which delivers essential services and infrastructure to 1.5 million residents and 170,000 businesses.

Tune in to hear about why Gary came to mind when Melissa first thought about guests to have on the podcast.

In this conversation, they cover:

· Making decisions that affect your whole life, as a professional and in your personal life

· The evolution of work at different stages of life and ideas to break the ‘habit’

· Ways to make time for yourself and others who are important in your life – from weekly calls with his 92-year-old mum, running, traveling, and listening to podcasts

· Thoughts on switching off while on vacation and immersing yourself in activities

· Blending insights from the pandemic on the role of trust, empathy, understanding, being a good listener, and keeping an open mind as we move forward in the current normal

· How you might already be intentional without realizing it

It was honour to have this time with Gary to hear about his approach to being intentionally out of office. You can connect with him on LinkedIn here.

Send an email through to share what you’d like to hear more about on future episodes.

Welcome to Season 2! To kick off this season, Melissa reflects on the journey back to recording and getting to this first episode.

It’s the permission slip you may need too… to be human and embrace your humanness. An invitation to acknowledge what may no longer be working for you (even if it did at some point) and identify how to get back on course in a way that is uniquely yours.

Some questions this episode dives into:

- How can you be more accepting and kinder to yourself?

- Are you, in your life, running a sprint or a marathon? Most importantly, is that what you want to be doing?

- What is one thing you can do today that would move you in the direction you want to go?

Stay tuned for new episodes every Tuesday and conversations with inspiring guests. Thanks for being here!

References

Clear, J. (2020, February 4). Get back on track: 7 strategies to help you bounce back after slipping up. James Clear. Retrieved October 4, 2022, from https://jamesclear.com/get-back-on-track

Pastiloff, J., & Yuknavitch, L. (2020). On being human: A memoir of waking up, living Real, and listening hard. Dutton, an imprint of Penguin Random House LLC.

To wrap up season 1, this episode is dedicated to YOU and the questions sent in from listeners.

02:08 How have you maintained your commitment to living an intentionally out of office lifestyle?

04:26 How do you overcome guilt about your intentions not meeting someone else's needs? How do you balance the desires that you might have for yourself with also being in relationships or part of a family? Hot topic - received this question more than once

18:38 If I want to integrate new practices from each of the episodes into my life, how do you suggest I get started?

21:53 What can conversations look like at a dinner table with friends? Is there a dinner party question to get friends to think more about their intentions?

24:30 I have enjoyed learning more about the concept of mindfulness. In your opinion, what is the most important aspect of a mindfulness practice?

27:05 What do you do when things don't go as planned? If you have an injury or if there's a delay? What do you do when you can't control what happens next?

30:24 What advice do you have for catching up on sleep when you choose to accept a last minute invitation, stay up late or get up early?

33:37 The circadian rhythm seems to be a very important part of a well-functioning body and having an awareness of your rhythm would be helpful. Do you have any recommendations on how to track this or chart a person's rhythm so that they can maximize this in their daily lives?

36:37 How do you balance and adapt your routines in a new environment when you're traveling?

39:30 What does your ideal environment look like if you need to work while you're intentionally out of office?

41:58 You talk about holding yourself accountable but what does this really mean? If I decide something is good for me and I make a commitment to follow through but then something changes - is that a failure to hold myself accountable?

44:43 When you return from vacation, do you assess how well you did at maximizing your fulfillment and plan for change another time based on your reflections? If you do, what does that process look like?

47:47 You sound like you've been on this journey for a long time. Were there any tipping points or 'aha' moments that ultimately resulted in a step change for you?

Thanks for listening! I'll be back in the fall for Season 2. Until then, take good care :)

Are you intentional about making new friends and nurturing existing friendships?

The societally accepted focus on work and family after you complete your education puts a lot of pressure on those particular aspects of life, the idea that you can do it alone or that it should all be figured out by a certain time in life.

At the start of the episode, Melissa shares a question that a friend brought up: are we actually taught how to make friends?

By getting clear on your motivation, values, and the logistics of nurturing new and old friendships, consider how you might try new ways to build the friendships that are most meaningful to you right now.

Sources referenced:

Burchard, B. 2017. High Performance Habits: How Extraordinary People Become That Way. New York: Hay House, Inc.

Csikszentmihalyi, M. 2008. Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience. New York: Harper Perennial Modern Classics.

The pandemic has taken its toll on our friendships. How do we fix them? | Claire Cohen | The Guardian

Seeking shelter from social isolation and loneliness under the tree of friendship (who.int)

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Connect with Melissa: on Instagram @themelissakelly or by email [email protected]

What are you making time for? This episode is a little less travel and adventure compared to others this season, and more self-reflection and planning about how you spend your time.

Years ago, Melissa was introduced to the wellness wheel. With spokes for each area of life, the wheel is a clear visual – reflecting where you feel off balance and where you could be more intentional.

Whether a self-assessment in the form of the wellness wheel, a group program or a book that gets you thinking about your ideal life, you’re invited to explore the different dimensions that make up your days and how to be intentional about living them out.

Sources referenced:

Burchard, B. 2017. High Performance Habits: How Extraordinary People Become That Way. New York: Hay House, Inc.

Csikszentmihalyi, M. 2008. Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience. New York: Harper Perennial Modern Classics.

Florida, R. 2013. Upgrade: Taking Your Work and Life from Ordinary to Extraordinary. New York: McGraw Hill.

MacAskill, W. Tools of Titans, edited by Tim Ferriss, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing, 2017, pp.446-448.

Wellness Wheel Wkst (harvard.edu)

Lifebook - Design Your Ideal Life | Mindvalley

Regrets of the Dying – Bronnie Ware

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Connect with Melissa: on Instagram @themelissakelly or by email [email protected]

Whether it’s rest in the form of activity that recharges you or preparing for a good night’s sleep, listen in today to consider how you can make more time for rest.

This episode includes identifying what feels restful to you, how your energy is affected by the circadian and infradian rhythms, and helps you make decisions that support your self-care. If you struggle to find time for rest, Melissa also shares some suggestions to try.

There are a ton of short-term and long-term benefits to feeling rested, so get curious about the habits you can develop to support your wellbeing and help you feel like you have enough time for all the things that are important to you.

Sources referenced:

Burchard, B. 2017. High Performance Habits: How Extraordinary People Become That Way. New York: Hay House, Inc.

Stassinopoulos, A. 2016. Wake Up to the Joy of You: 52 Meditations and Practices for a Calmer, Happier Life. London: Bantam Press.

Vitti, A. 2020. In The Flo: Unlock Your Hormonal Advantage and Revolutionize Your Life. New York: HarperCollins.

Revenge Bedtime Procrastination: Definition & Psychology | Sleep Foundation

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Connect with Melissa: on Instagram @themelissakelly or by email [email protected]

Let’s make your time off a 10/10! Being aware of the different phases - planning, taking time off and transitioning back - can help you maximize it from a fulfillment perspective to ensure you come back feeling refreshed.

Today’s episode invites you to move beyond the logistics of planning your time off and set an intention for how you’d like to feel. Building anticipation for the trip, whether it’s far off or next weekend, can also be a way to lean into all that you’re hoping to experience.

You’ll hear about how subtle and sneaky expectations can factor in, especially when traveling with others. Then, as you begin to think about wrapping up your trip, Melissa shares one of her favourite ways to bring a piece of her travels with her (*although it was Liguria and not Sicily as mentioned) and encourages ways to thoughtfully close out your time with friends or family as well as on your own.

Wherever your travels take you, build in time for things that are important to you – including the transition time before going back to work – to soak up the benefits of being away from your everyday.

Sources referenced:

Brown, B. (2021). Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience. New York: Random House.

Ferriss, T. (2017). Tools of Titans. New York: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing.

Palmer, A. (2021). Vacation Anticipation Can Boost Happiness – And It Doesn’t Even Require You To Travel. Well + Good. Vacation Anticipation Builds Happiness Without Traveling | Well+Good (wellandgood.com)

Parker, P. (2018). The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters. New York: Riverhead Books.

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Connect with Melissa: on Instagram @themelissakelly or by email [email protected]

Do you ever find it challenging to transition out of work mode? Tuning into your breath and senses - sight, smell, touch, taste, hearing - can help.

This episode is an invitation to explore all the ways you can experience a moment… After all, you only get to experience it once! Learn more about mindfulness and the practice of observing yourself and your environment, and noticing if any particular thoughts come up.

You’ll hear about how Melissa started going to hot yoga, which preceded completing yoga teacher training and learning more about mindfulness. The physical practice of yoga was a way to focus on breath and sensation and be open to more experiences of “being.”

Try some mindfulness practices, be it a meditation on chocolate or a body scan, and consider how you can set up your external environment to bring you back to the moment even when you’re in the process of packing your bag for your next getaway. So, what'll it be?

Books referenced:

Eyal, N. 2019. Indistractable: How to Control Your Attention and Choose Your Life. Dallas: BenBella Books, Inc.

Watt, T. 2012. Mindfulness: A Practice Guide. New York: MJF Books.

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Connect with Melissa: on Instagram @themelissakelly or by email [email protected]