Internal Insights

Somewhere along the way, a lot of us quietly decided we weren’t quite enough. This episode looks at where that belief comes from and what research says actually helps it loosen its grip.

You’ll hear about:

• What self esteem really is, and why it’s different from confidence
• Why boosting self esteem alone hasn’t worked the way people hoped
• How self compassion can give you a steadier sense of worth
• What to do when your inner critic gets loud, including a simple question to ask yourself
• A small habit for noticing the good things you handle each day

This one is for anyone who can list their mistakes in detail but struggles to name what they did well. No jargon, just a plain conversation about what’s going on inside and why it makes sense.

I’m Ted Thao, LPC, a mental health podcast host and San Antonio therapist with Internal Insights Therapy. I work with trauma informed therapy in person in San Antonio and virtually across Texas. More at internalinsightstherapy.com.

When someone tells you that you did a good job, how long does that good feeling actually last? For a lot of us, it fades faster than we'd like to admit.

In this episode, Ted Thao breaks down the difference between the validation we get from other people and the validation we give ourselves, and why a healthy life has room for both.

You'll hear about:

• Why so many of us learned early to look to others to know if we're doing okay
• The "windows and lamps" way of thinking about outside approval and inner steadiness
• Why running only on your own approval can feel just as lonely as running only on other people's
• A listener question Ted hears often: "Is it bad that I need other people to tell me I did okay?"

This episode is for anyone who finds themselves waiting on a text, a compliment, or a reaction before they can feel good about something they did.

Ted Thao is a Licensed Professional Counselor and trauma informed therapist based in San Antonio, Texas, offering individual therapy in person and virtually across the state. Learn more at internalinsightstherapy.com.

Two people spill coffee on the same Monday morning, and one says the whole day is ruined while the other laughs it off. What makes the difference?

In this episode, Ted Thao breaks down reframing, the simple practice of changing the words we use so we can see a situation more clearly and more kindly.

You'll hear about:

• Why the same moment can feel completely different depending on the frame we put around it
• How the inner voices in our heads shape what we notice and how our bodies react
• Small word swaps that make room to breathe, like "what's going on with me" instead of "what's wrong with me"
• "Isn't reframing just lying to myself?"

This episode is for anyone whose inner voice tends to be harsher than it needs to be.

Ted Thao is a Licensed Professional Counselor and trauma informed therapist based in San Antonio, Texas, offering individual therapy in person and virtually across the state. Learn more at internalinsightstherapy.com.

Have you ever felt like your entire life was being decided by paperwork you didn't write and a calendar you don't control? In this episode, Ted Thao, LPC, breaks down what actually happens in the mind and body when someone is stuck in a long legal process, like probation or repeated court hearings, and why that kind of powerlessness wears on a person differently than ordinary stress.

You'll hear about:

• Why long legal processes create a specific, exhausting kind of stress, different from everyday pressure
• The "passenger in the car" metaphor for understanding what powerlessness actually feels like
• The mix of anger, numbness, and shame that often shows up during these processes, and why all of it is normal
• A common question Ted hears: "how do I stay sane when I have zero control over what happens to me right now?"

This one is for anyone currently caught in a slow moving legal process, or anyone who loves someone going through one and wants to understand what they might be carrying.

Ted Thao is a Licensed Professional Counselor and trauma informed therapist based in San Antonio, Texas, offering individual therapy in person and virtually across the state. Learn more at internalinsightstherapy.com.

Is trust something you either have or don't, or is it built in tiny, unremarkable moments most people never even notice?

Ted breaks down what actually builds trust in a relationship, and why the small everyday moments matter more than any big gesture.

You'll hear about:

• The "jar of coins" way of thinking about trust, and why it gets emptied slowly, not all at once
• Why what happens right after a mistake matters more than never making one
• What real, repeated effort looks like when someone is trying to rebuild trust
• "How do I trust someone again after they've hurt me, even if we're actually trying to work things out?"

This one is for anyone in a relationship, romantic, family, or otherwise, who has ever wondered if trust can actually come back once it's been shaken.

Ted Thao is a Licensed Professional Counselor and trauma informed therapist based in San Antonio, Texas, offering individual therapy in person and virtually across the state. Learn more at internalinsightstherapy.com.

Ever wonder why some arguments always seem to end with you feeling wronged, no matter who you're talking to? In this episode, Ted Thao, LPC, breaks down what's really happening when someone (or you) seems to always "play the victim," and why it's almost never about manipulation.

You'll hear about:

• Why feeling like the victim is often a learned protective pattern, not a character flaw
• The smoke detector metaphor that explains why old emotional alarms keep going off
• The short term benefits of this pattern, and why it can quietly push people away over time
• A common question Ted hears in his office: "why do I always feel like the victim in my relationships?"

This one is for anyone who has felt stuck in a pattern of conflict they can't quite explain, or who loves someone who seems to default to feeling hurt in every disagreement.

Ted Thao is a Licensed Professional Counselor and trauma informed therapist based in San Antonio, Texas, offering individual therapy in person and virtually across the state. Learn more at internalinsightstherapy.com.

Do you ever feel like your mind is always one step ahead of your body, running through every possible outcome before you've even finished the thought? This episode is about what it actually takes to feel present again, and why peace might not be something you find once and keep.

In this episode, you'll hear about:

• Why constantly thinking ahead can create a quiet, hard to name kind of anxiety
• A simple way to understand presence, even if mindfulness has never felt like it worked for you
• What to actually do when your mind won't stop spinning
• A different way to think about overthinking, not as a flaw but as a signal

This episode is for anyone who has ever felt restless even when nothing is technically wrong, or who has wondered why relaxing feels harder than it should.

Ted Thao is a Licensed Professional Counselor and owner of Internal Insights Therapy, a trauma informed counseling practice based in San Antonio, Texas, offering both in person and virtual sessions. This episode explores anxiety, overthinking, and presence in plain, judgment free language. Learn more at internalinsightstherapy.com.

Walking on eggshells with someone can feel like keeping the peace, but it usually means the relationship runs on guesswork instead of truth. If you have ever rehearsed a text three times, backpedaled mid-conversation, or edited yourself to avoid setting someone off, this episode is for you.

In this episode, you'll hear about:

• Why staying quiet often feels like the safest move after things have gone badly before
• How that same quiet can slowly widen the distance underneath a relationship, even when everything looks fine on the surface
• The difference between protecting how a relationship looks and protecting what it actually is
• How this pattern shows up with partners, parents, adult children, and even at work
• A more realistic alternative to one big, risky conversation: picking one small, honest thing and practicing saying it plainly

This one is for anyone who has caught themselves managing someone else's mood before they speak, or wondered if staying quiet is really keeping the peace or just keeping things stuck.

Ted Thao is a licensed professional counselor in San Antonio, Texas, offering trauma informed therapy in person and virtually across the state. If this episode resonated, you can learn more about working together at internalinsightstherapy.com.

Why does saying no feel so much like letting someone down?

In this episode, Ted Thao takes a closer look at the guilt that shows up the moment you choose yourself, and makes the case that it is not selfish at all. It might actually be one of the more generous things you can do.

You'll hear about:

• Why running on empty affects your patience and your relationships more than you'd expect
• The difference between actual selfishness and simply not having anything left to give
• Why so many of us were taught that sacrifice equals love, and how that belief can make a healthy boundary feel like a betrayal
• A simple way to think about choosing yourself that doesn't require guilt at all

This one is for anyone who has felt a flicker of guilt after protecting their time, skipping an obligation that used to feel automatic, or setting a limit with someone who tends to take more than they give.

Ted Thao is a Licensed Professional Counselor and the owner of Internal Insights Therapy, offering trauma informed individual counseling in San Antonio, Texas and virtually across the state. This episode touches on boundaries, guilt, and self protection, topics that come up often in sessions with adults navigating relationships, family expectations, and burnout. Learn more or find session options at internalinsightstherapy.com.

Ever catch yourself thinking "here we go again" right in the middle of an argument, like you already knew how it would end? In this episode, Ted Thao breaks down how our beliefs quietly shape the way we react, and how that reaction ends up creating the exact outcome that seems to prove the belief right in the first place.

You'll hear about:

• Why beliefs work more like tinted glasses than facts
• How a moment of feeling disrespected can activate a deeper story, like believing you're not good enough
• The loop where a reaction creates the evidence that seems to confirm the belief
• Why repeated conflict doesn't always mean a belief is true, it can mean the same automatic response keeps recreating the same result
• How to notice the small gap between a trigger and a reaction, and use it to choose something different

This episode is for anyone who feels stuck repeating the same reaction in relationships, at work, or with family, and is curious about where that pattern actually comes from.

Ted Thao is a licensed professional counselor and trauma informed therapist based in San Antonio, Texas, offering individual therapy in person and virtually across the state. If old beliefs and automatic reactions feel familiar, you can learn more about working together at internalinsightstherapy.com