Andrew went on a date. Now he has opinions about Mesopotamia.

Part 1 of 2.

This shirt was almost certainly not sanctioned by the company.

If you demanded narrative cohesion, you wouldn't be here.

Pretty hot take, I'll admit it.

Again, terrible starting point.

Here’s a Secret Santa gift for a coworker. I have no idea how to actually give this fantastic gift I made. What a weird quandary.

This is not a good starting point if you're new to the space crayon. In fact, it might be the worst starting point.

A secret Santa gift for someone at work who doesn’t like me.

Turns out she was cool with the joke.

PS: Proposition your direct manager with scooping up a decommissioned whaling vessel. The results might surprise you.

I'm required to add a description, and there's irony in that, too.

Relentlessly on-topic.

No, really - hire more waiters. That's the fix.