I've been reading some of the work of dr. Daniel Siegel and in his book interpersonal neurobiology and mine site he talks about how if a person is experiencing trauma the hippocampus is shut down due to cortisol among other things and when the hippocampus is shut down the memories of the event can't be encoded properly and they lack echphoric sensation which he means they lack the sensation of the time element which means that if a memory of that event again popped up I wouldn't know that it's from the past whereas he gives the example if someone says when did you learn to run your bike you can say because you're recalling from the past you can actually think about when and describe the event so the traumatic events black this egg Forex sensation because of the hippocampus being shut down and what I thought of and I have no idea if it's true is that it's possible that when the hippocampus shuts down that information going from maybe the heart to the brain or it could be partly like the heartbeat the heartbeat is different and it's like partly contributing to the release of cortisol which the heart beats in a different way based on the perception so the perception of something not good happening seeing it like if one couldn't see it or feel it they wouldn't know what was happening to a certain extent and then the cortisol being released shuts down the hippocampus and it's not encoding the memories properly and I wonder if this is partially to protect a person from remembering everything the way it actually happened or or what it is exactly but I feel like it's possible that it happens because some of this memory actually stays and quoted in the heart so even though like a lot of times a person might not actually see what's happening to them properly but they know something Bad's happening so the heart is feeling like something bad is happening some of it could actually be encoded in the heart memory because the heart does store some memories and maybe a lot more than we actually know and I'm thinking that this could actually be like an adaptation because if the heart if the heart has the memory the heart can see the pattern recognition of of what it is that they're seeing I feel like we partly see with our heart so we see with our brain but the heart mind actually and the feeling can calculate if situation is bad for example so if a person again gets himself close to a pattern or a situation that this heart memory sees the heart immediately alerts right the heart goes and has a little rapid beat so in that way it's almost like protection from that thing happening again which you know because the brain doesn't store it rationally and logically and maybe it doesn't because whatever happened wasn't rational and logical it was fearful and terrifying it was to do with the feelings it was due to do with like one's humanity not to do with ones like linear memory process so in that way could be stored in the heart and maybe that's one of the reasons why a lot of this stuff is difficult to resolve it's not really it's not really in the rational brain process it's it's encoded more in the heart and I feel like it helps us maybe recognize something so we can escape beforehand and I feel like it's part of the fight-or-flight and you know maybe some of these patterns are already in our heart and that's why we know to jump away from certain dangerous animals and and that's pretty common to humanity it with a reflex but then some of us we have other reflexes programmed into us or experiences and a person that goes through psychosis or mania especially psychosis maybe has new patterns of fear programmed in their heart by reacting to things that weren't really there in physicality yeah they're they're inside and they're scary they could be sort of coming out of the heart or they could be just a way of kind of scaring our heart again and maybe getting the heart to fear certain patterns that are normal in society but maybe aren't so normal like for example deciding to go off to war that's normal in society but it's kind of not very nice so I wonder if some of this psychosis image material could actually be sort of reap a turning our hearts and what we think is okay and and not okay and I'm wondering if things like medications actually block some of this seeing so block some of the seeing or feeling of these other experiences that are so called hallucinations and delusions and one may still have those experiences but then maybe not feel like they have so much action that they can do so it's almost like just being more more helpless to those things and I think it blocks a certain amount of seeing of how box a certain amount of seeing of how beautiful the world is but then it blocks a bit of the seeing of the ugliness of that inner world that we all share that collective past and it's like we can't really move into that beautiful world until we resolve that collective past and we haven't resolved it because basically world today is a continuity a continuation of the collective awfulness that we've the things that we've done to each other and I feel like with mania the universe actually wants us to see how beautiful it is and that's why even just a simple flower can be the most amazing thing if more of us could see that beauty we might actually move to protect it or stop harming it or appreciate it and I even think that with all this observer effect they talk about with quantum physics it's like well things don't exist until we measure them until we look at them until we put an eye on them and once we put an eye on them it's actually there for real I feel like the more eyes we have on nature the more actually exists and it's going to stay you know even if you could imagine a forest and if there was a thousand people that are staring at the forest I'm thinking wow this is so beautiful it'd be pretty hard for a bulldozer to come along and just start plowing it down people would be like okay I have a problem with this but since nobody's looking everyone can just come in and where people can just come in and destroy it and think nobody cares because nobody's looking at it and now that's just a silly little hypothetical situation but I do feel like the universe needs more of us to be looking at it and not just at our screens or even the screen of our mind which is our minds eye that we're always putting so much attention on that and it's not really real it's just like a screen within our head and that's probably a more dangerous screen than all this technology that people are worried about which it's it's worrisome as well in a way but I feel like technology could be used for good as well where's that mine screen that we're putting our attention on is pretty much useless it'd be more beneficial to carry around a flower and stare at it and appreciate it and be grateful for it then actually just thinking about what we're thinking about what we're thinking about what we thought about what we thought about what we thought about it's a waste of time it's a waste of energy that's what actually waste our energy we wonder why we're so tired I think a lot of us could get away with eating quick the crappy diets we do is if we actually went on a diet from our own brains from our own egos from our own thoughts about ourselves it's not that interesting and all this stuff about become better what have better thoughts about oneself what is that going to do and I also wrote down something about how mental illness is an umbrella term to shut people up and write people off and I'm not going to write myself off I'm going to talk myself silly I'm back to the coherent breathing stuff luckily we can still control our breathing or we can still watch our breathing and witness it and we can still learn to breathe properly that's one of the few things we actually can control and we can control going somewhere to get some fresh air you can control pulling up for a walk we do have some level of control over our physiology and back to that little voice in her head that we pay so much attention to I had a thought that we are being sentenced to a life of other people's sentences which means that we're in a prison in our mind of things that we heard from somebody else about ourselves or repetitive stuff about ourselves and and that's a pretty sad life sentence and a bit more about words I I feel like one day there'll be a study of epi-memetics and endo-memetics so I feel there's a certain amount of words that can come from insight from directly seeing something so if I look at a flower and I all of a sudden have an insight about something about how the flower works just by looking at it then those words that I say about the flour based on that is something different than if I was to just look at the flower and think of the name of the flower which is something that was already in my brain so there's different so words if a word and a sentence and a thought is something old it's not an endo-memetic I feel like there's exo-memetics so thoughts that come from the outside there's a pima medics and there are n DOMA medics and there are different and it's like the study of words and language and where we get these thoughts from because they're their energy and if we have a circular thought pattern going on all the time we're actually not able to really learn anything new because we can't look at something and understand it just by seeing how it works

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/bipolar_inquiry.

See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.