Originally Published March 2, 2018 under the Just Us Women podcast title.This Women’s Panel was recorded on January 25, 2018Questions to discuss:* What did you learn at church and home about sex?* What about masturbation and orgasms?* What was your church/home opinion of premarital sex and teen pregnancy?* Were you influenced by the “purity culture”?* Who were some prominent religious leaders who influenced you related to your early understanding about sex?* What are some recommendations you would have to others who may be listening who are single and still religious?Autumn (Pseudonym) grew up in a divorced family with moderately diverse spiritual beliefs – a little Catholicism, a little Alcoholics Anonymous Theism. Although she was a self-identifying Atheist from a young age, she was enticed into Christianity as a teenager, the promise of “God has a wonderful plan for your life” being irresistible. She continued in Christianity for ten years, during which she attended a “discipleship school,” where she learned how to be a bible literalist and fundamentalist. She attempted to maintain the fervor she had in the cultish environment of the school, but real life and critical thinking eventually won out. Her deconversion was a slow erosion but came down all at once in late 2016. Autumn is a little over a year into being an “out” Atheist. Although most of the important people in her life know, she is using a pseudonym to protect her privacy, and her husband’s privacy. Her husband is still a Christian. Janelle Leegstra was raised in a very specific branch of Christianity: The Reformed or Calvinist branch. Most people who think of Reformed think of Christian Reformed, which was the liberal side of the Reformed spectrum. They resided somewhere in the middle. Her family believed in a lot of fundamentalist teachings such as: women couldn’t lead in the church, original sin makes everyone prone to evil, no sex outside of marriage, etc. However, some more conservative versions of Calvinism went steps further, and believed things like: women should always wear skirts and you could never know if you were saved (Janelle’s husband belonged to one of these). They believed they were chosen by God and must now follow his teachings. A lot of what they believed was quite conservative.She grew up very absorbed in this tradition. She was homeschooled for 8 of her school years because they moved a lot and also due to the fact that her parents didn’t like the mainstream Christian schools because they were too liberal. Eventually, in grade 9, Janelle was enrolled in a Canadian Reformed School and graduated from there. She even went to a Christian university in Ontario for a year. She didn’t break out of Christian circles until she came to Lethbridge, Alberta to go to a secular university. This is where Janelle finally got a glimpse of what outside ways of thinking looked like and began her journey of de-conversion. It took a couple years before she finally realized she didn’t believe it anymore, and it’s still a work-in-progress to let go of all of the inner thought processes. But, she is definitely an Atheist now, and has recently come out to her family as such. The fallout from that is very recent and is pretty tense still. It’s been a long road with a long way to go yet, but she is very excited to see where it goes.Janelle was definitely influenced by the misogynistic culture of her church community. There was a lot of emphasis on virginity and definitely an unequal partnership in dating and marriage. She and her dad picked out a purity ring when she got her first period and Janelle was deeply immersed in purity culture until her boyfriend (now husband) began to leave the church.