Originally Published January 21, 2018 under the Women Beyond Belief podcast title.Brittany Stirling (Pseudonym) was raised in the Canadian Reformed Church in southern Ontario. She doesn’t remember having many questions or doubts as a child. Her parents were devout and somewhat legalistic about their Christianity. Brittany wasn’t raised with a very pervasive feeling of God’s love in her life but she does remember the feeling of being part of an exclusive group – and that essentially the rest of the world was full of outsiders who were different from her and were inferior in some way.When Brittany was 12, she moved to Ottawa for a few years and then spent Grade 10-12 in Indonesia. She made friends with people from difference races/religions along the way. She moved home to Ottawa for 2 years after high school and then spent her early 20’s in Alberta.Throughout all these stages she was a good Christian girl (FAR from perfect) but with no major questions against what she had always been taught. But she was time and time again being exposed to other people and other people’s beliefs. The slow and constant barrage began wearing away at her foundation.Ultimately it came down to a few things. A sexual relationship, questions about human nature and how responsible we actually are for choices we make, and the death of a friend who had been going through his own tumultuous de-conversion journey. She remembers the moment she first truly realized there was no god. Brittany had been contemplating that thought for a couple years already, but felt like everything in that moment shifted. Original Music Composition by Esther NicholsonDisclaimer: The views and opinions expressed by the podcast guests do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of the podcast host, Wendy Nicholson