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Interview with Cole Forester: Hope for Porn Addiction Part 2
Deanna Bryant
I was thinking of the women that I have a very close relationship with, they're married to porn addicts. And one of the things they said is their husband wanted to have sex with them less and less. And often, their husband would be gone for periods of time, or just kind of be absent. And they would wonder, you know, what's going on. And also, one lady said that when they did have sex, he was asking her to do things she was uncomfortable with, and role-playing, and almost asking her to be like the women he was seeing. So, you know, it really affected the relationship. It affected how she felt about herself like you were mentioning. They feel like they're not enough anymore, or that they have to be like a porn star for their husband to be turned on by them. And it's such a sad, dynamic.
Cole
Yeah, as part of a group that is a very open group of ideas, the topic was about intimacy. And, and I joined the group that I felt like I could have the most impact in which was how to spice up your sex life in marriage. And I wanted these men to tread those waters carefully. If they're asking something of their spouse, imagine if your spouse will say, "Well, why do you want that? What's the answer to that? And that's okay to have desires in your marriage. But where do they come from? I had to think about that. If there's something I wanted, sexually, in my marriage, before I brought that in the bedroom, I had to be mindful of it. Like the study earlier, you know, I had to really think about it. Why do I want this? Do I want this? Because that's pure and that's true intimacy with my spouse. Or do I want this because it's what I used to watch in pornography? I think a big problem with pornography is a lot of men feel like they won't have a porn addiction when they're married. So to say, I can have sex and marriage, you know, play married. It's not bad to have sex. And I know, the world is a little different now and, and what that is, but let's just go with that conversation. They think they can replace their pornography with their wife. And they quickly find out that's not the case.
For the complete transcript of this interview, you can go to http://reviveyourmidlifemarriage.com/51
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By Deanna BryantDeanna Bryant
I was thinking of the women that I have a very close relationship with, they're married to porn addicts. And one of the things they said is their husband wanted to have sex with them less and less. And often, their husband would be gone for periods of time, or just kind of be absent. And they would wonder, you know, what's going on. And also, one lady said that when they did have sex, he was asking her to do things she was uncomfortable with, and role-playing, and almost asking her to be like the women he was seeing. So, you know, it really affected the relationship. It affected how she felt about herself like you were mentioning. They feel like they're not enough anymore, or that they have to be like a porn star for their husband to be turned on by them. And it's such a sad, dynamic.
Cole
Yeah, as part of a group that is a very open group of ideas, the topic was about intimacy. And, and I joined the group that I felt like I could have the most impact in which was how to spice up your sex life in marriage. And I wanted these men to tread those waters carefully. If they're asking something of their spouse, imagine if your spouse will say, "Well, why do you want that? What's the answer to that? And that's okay to have desires in your marriage. But where do they come from? I had to think about that. If there's something I wanted, sexually, in my marriage, before I brought that in the bedroom, I had to be mindful of it. Like the study earlier, you know, I had to really think about it. Why do I want this? Do I want this? Because that's pure and that's true intimacy with my spouse. Or do I want this because it's what I used to watch in pornography? I think a big problem with pornography is a lot of men feel like they won't have a porn addiction when they're married. So to say, I can have sex and marriage, you know, play married. It's not bad to have sex. And I know, the world is a little different now and, and what that is, but let's just go with that conversation. They think they can replace their pornography with their wife. And they quickly find out that's not the case.
For the complete transcript of this interview, you can go to http://reviveyourmidlifemarriage.com/51