On this very special, hotly-anticipated episode of the Becoming You podcast, let’s get to know my husband of 19 years and what he thought of my fateful decision to start a coaching business!

How would you describe our marriage at the beginning, and how has it evolved over the years?

In the beginning, we were kind of clueless. We woke up one day in this new situation, and so we had to learn all about marriage right as we were living it!

How has our ability to handle conflict changed since we first got married?

Before, we never talked about that. It was just silence and fuming. Time was the solution to conflict in those days. Now, we make it a point to articulate our opinions. We’re still not great at resolving our conflicts. I don’t think anyone is.

What have been some great things that have come out as a result of me getting coaching, doing inner work, and investing in myself in general?

You enjoyed your corporate job in the beginning, but you ended up hating it after a couple of years. What’s really changed between that time and now is seeing you actually enjoy the work that you do.

I used to be a Debbie Downer, and now it’s mostly the opposite. Does it get annoying now that I’m always trying to find the positive in everything?

It’s a good reminder for me because I’m slowly getting to that place where I shorten the time between feeling negative about something to embracing the fact that I can’t change what’s happened, and then asking, “What’s the point in worrying about that?”

Do you remember the moment I asked you if I could spend a huge sum of money to work with a life coach for three months even when I had no income?

I don’t remember the specifics. It’s been a long time. But I do remember having a discussion about it, and it was never about the dollar amount for me, even if it was for you. I asked you, “What’s your return on investment? If you put this money in, what is it going to change for you?” Yes, cost is something that should be considered, but will investing that money give you the results you want? That’s the most important factor.

What would you say to someone who is at the very beginning of this personal development journey and doesn't know what their ROI is yet?

I think you need to try everything once. Until you’ve tried it, you’ll never know if you’ll get the results you’re looking for, or if you’re even coachable to begin with!

What do you do as part of your personal journey to ensure that we are in sync as a married couple? Often one person grows and the other doesn’t, or they don’t “get it”.

I think it’s a twofold answer: You need to be an open-enough person to let your spouse try something out and observe to see if they’re getting out of their investment what they want. Second, you need to invest in yourself, too. You don’t need to match your partner in intensity.

Do you agree that each spouse ultimately needs to make decisions for their lives by themselves?

Yes, you need to decide for yourself. At the same time, for certain decisions, because you’re part of a family, you need to have input from your spouse.

What was the “aha” moment that caused you to finally understand why I wanted to go on this personal development journey and start my coaching business?

For me, it’s been more of an evolution over time. I saw incremental changes with each step you took, from working with coaches to going to retreats. I remember you dreaming that one day you’d be on a stage, and then that day finally came.

Any last words for listeners?

Yes, coaching and personal development costs money; but, if you don’t invest in yourself, who will? I sincerely believe that at least giving your spouse an opportunity to try it is very, very important.

Learn more about me and my coaching services:

Free resource: 10 Ways to Spark Your Self Love Journey

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