Originally Published May 4, 2017 under the Women Beyond Belief podcast title.Sara grew up in Florida and attended a fundamental Baptist church. Her family was involved in many types of ministry including AWANA, children’s church, mission’s weeks, choir, etc. After she graduated from a Christian school, she worked full time. Then her mom sent her to Pensacola Christian College because she was worried that Sara was “backsliding”. Around the same time, her parents’ marriage fell apart.She then attended a community college until she got pregnant. Shortly before her son was born, Sara and her boyfriend got married. Because of the way that she was being treated by church members during the pregnancy, they took a break from church. However, they still believed in everything they were taught at church. After their marriage had some issues, a few well-meaning church members gave Sara some Christian books. The books explained to her how the marriage issues were her fault. However, she still held on to her faith, despite all of the shame and pain it caused her.After they went to see a Christian counsellor, Sara and her husband mended their relationship. Even though the counsellor didn’t help her much, it seemed to help her husband. After their third child was born, she stopped working full time and was able to focus more on the church. They went back to attending regularly, volunteering and leading small groups and bible studies.During an emotional crisis caused by her authoritarian father moving into their home, she started questioning her faith. Sara finally started to see what the Bible actually said. She could no longer say that she believed any of it, but she kept quiet. She didn’t tell her husband or family for over a year. During that time, her anxiety and depression worsened. After she finally talked with her husband, she felt strong enough to see a doctor and psychologist. She was then put on anxiety meds.Five years after her faith left her, she is “out” to everyone. She is learning how to navigate life with a husband and four kids who still believe in a god. Even though she is completely “out” to anyone who asks, Sara is choosing to only use her first name. She is trying to keep some level of privacy when she talks about her children and family. She feels it’s best to let them decide for themselves what they share to the public.Original Music Composition by Esther NicholsonDisclaimer: The views and opinions expressed by the podcast guests do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of the podcast host, Wendy Nicholson