Send us a text

In this episode, Matt & Jenn share an encore episode about reassessing your expectations for your marriage and moving the trajectory of your relationship through personal investment.

1. Mature past the selfish motivations of relationship and begin to see the true fulfillment of covenant love built on self-sacrifice — in your marriage and in your relationship to God.
2. Instead of asking "What do I want FROM my marriage?", change your perspective with a new question: “What do I want FOR my marriage?” Consider what more you can offer toward your covenant?
3. Begin the assessment of your relationship with humility and self-reflection. Then, have a conversation with your spouse to determine what you can do for them and for your marriage.

 
Download our State of the Covenant resource to help you assess your marriage and start the conversations to build better intimacy in 2025.
intimatecovenant.com/shop

Marriage Retreat 2025 registration opens February 14th: intimatecovenant.com/retreat  

Please support these companies that support Intimate Covenant:

• Married Dance — https://marrieddance.com/?aff=29 
  Shop from this link for special savings and part of your purchase will support Intimate Covenant.  
• Coconu — http://www.coconu.com 
  Your purchase helps support Intimate Covenant AND you get 15% OFF. Coupon Code: intimateconvenant
• Dating Divas — https://thedatingdivas.myshopify.com?sca_ref=6278443.H6eWDeXGfx
  Shop from this link and your part of your purchase will help support Intimate Covenant. Check out their Sexy Subscription Boxes!
• Honoring Intimates — https://www.honoringintimates.com/?ref=INTIMATECOVENANT
  Get 20% off and support Intimate Covenant with your purchase.
• Ginger & Peach — https://www.gingerandpeachlingerie.com/
  Get 10% off your order and support Intimate Covenant with code: “INTIMATECOVENANT" 

 To send your comments, questions and suggestions, go to our website: www.intimatecovenant.com/podcast and click on the button: “Contact the Podcast” for an ANONYMOUS submission form. Or, send an email: [email protected]
 
Thanks for sharing, rating, reviewing and subscribing!

  Cherishing,
  Matt & Jenn

www.intimatecovenant.com
Intimate Covenant | Matt & Jenn Schmidt

Support the show

Send us a text

In this "Christmas Q&A Potpourri" episode, Matt & Jenn are sharing segments from previous live Q&A sessions. We're answering the following questions:

• Should I sacrifice my desire for sexual intimacy if my spouse does not desire sex?
• What are your favorite topics of conversation for rejuvenation and reconnection?
• How do I handle my spouse being defensive when i ask them any question?
• How do I grieve unmet expectations?
• How often should we be having date nights and get-aways?
• Do you have any suggestions for making our bedroom a sacred space?

Get the "State of the Covenant" printable worksheet: https://intimatecovenant.com/shop/

Please support these companies that support Intimate Covenant:

• Married Dance — https://marrieddance.com/?aff=29
  We’re a Christian-friendly, marriage-centered sex toy and marital aid store for couples that’s nudity-free. 
  Shop from this link for special savings and part of your purchase will support Intimate Covenant.  
• Coconu — http://www.coconu.com
  Coconu is committed to helping people lead healthier, happier lives by offering 100% safe and organic personal care products. 
  Your purchase helps support Intimate Covenant AND you get 15% OFF. Coupon Code: intimateconvenant
• Dating Divas — https://thedatingdivas.myshopify.com?sca_ref=6278443.H6eWDeXGfx
  Strengthening marriages one date at a time.
  Shop from this link and your part of your purchase will help support Intimate Covenant. Check out their Sexy Subscription Boxes!
• Honoring Intimates — https://www.honoringintimates.com/?ref=INTIMATECOVENANT
  Modest and classy premium lingerie, model-free.
  Get 20% off and support Intimate Covenant with your purchase.
• Ginger & Peach — https://www.gingerandpeachlingerie.com/
  Ginger & Peach lingerie is a Christian husband and wife owned brand bringing classy, model-free lingerie to the market.
  Get 10% off your order and support Intimate Covenant with code: “INTIMATECOVENANT" 

 To send your comments, questions and suggestions, go to our website: www.intimatecovenant.com/podcast and click on the button: “Contact the Podcast” for an ANONYMOUS submission form. Or, send an email: [email protected]
 
Thanks for sharing, rating, reviewing and subscribing!

  
  Cherishing,
  Matt & Jenn

PS — If you have been blessed by the message of this podcast, we would deeply appreciate your support by donating to our mission of spreading God’s plan for intimate marriage and holy sexuality.

Join us at Patreon: www.patreon.com/intimatecovenant

Consider a one-time gift: www.intimatecovenant.com/donate

 www.intimatecovenant.com
Intimate Covenant | Matt & Jenn Schmidt

Support the show

Send us a text

In this episode, Matt & Jenn answer the following listener questions:

1. What advice do you have for couples that have great sex but struggle talking about sex? We’ve tried conversation starters but the answers are always brief.
2. I’m ashamed how much value I place on my spouses physical appearance. Self-improvement is a good virtue, but how do I ensure my motives are not immoral or shallow
3. I enjoy sleeping naked. My wife hates it. How can I encourage her to try & embrace it regularly. It's a great sensual way to enjoy each other without having sex.
4. I crave physical touch (not just sexually), as a pursuer how do ask for this without coming across as needy?  Rub my back, hold my hand, hug me.  How do I ask?

Please support these companies that support Intimate Covenant:

• Married Dance — https://marrieddance.com/?aff=29
  We’re a Christian-friendly, marriage-centered sex toy and marital aid store for couples that’s nudity-free. 
  Shop from this link for special savings and part of your purchase will support Intimate Covenant.  
• Coconu — http://www.coconu.com
  Coconu is committed to helping people lead healthier, happier lives by offering 100% safe and organic personal care products. 
  Your purchase helps support Intimate Covenant AND you get 15% OFF. Coupon Code: intimateconvenant
• Dating Divas — https://thedatingdivas.myshopify.com?sca_ref=6278443.H6eWDeXGfx
  Strengthening marriages one date at a time.
  Shop from this link and your part of your purchase will help support Intimate Covenant. Check out their Sexy Subscription Boxes!
• Honoring Intimates — https://www.honoringintimates.com/?ref=INTIMATECOVENANT
  Modest and classy premium lingerie, model-free.
  Get 20% off and support Intimate Covenant with your purchase.
• Ginger & Peach — https://www.gingerandpeachlingerie.com/
  Ginger & Peach lingerie is a Christian husband and wife owned brand bringing classy, model-free lingerie to the market.
  Get 10% off your order and support Intimate Covenant with code: “INTIMATECOVENANT" 

 To send your comments, questions and suggestions, go to our website: www.intimatecovenant.com/podcast and click on the button: “Contact the Podcast” for an ANONYMOUS submission form. Or, send an email: [email protected]
 
Thanks for sharing, rating, reviewing and subscribing!

  
  Cherishing,
  Matt & Jenn

PS — If you have been blessed by the message of this podcast, we would deeply appreciate your support by donating to our mission of spreading God’s plan for intimate marriage and holy sexuality.

Support the show

Send us a text

In this episode, Matt & Jenn share another set of clips from the Q&A session at our recent Annual Marriage Retreat. We cover the following questions:

• What ways can I warm my spouse up to more public displays of affection?  
• Discuss navigating, in different seasons, sexual pursuer/responder roles switching. It's not a smooth transition and can be confusing.
• What if you are the sexual AND the emotional persuer??
• I love giving my wife oral pleasure. She never reciprocates yet enjoys receiving. How do I keep from feeling resentful & help her to grow her desire for this?

Please support these companies that support Intimate Covenant:

• Married Dance — https://marrieddance.com/?aff=29
  We’re a Christian-friendly, marriage-centered sex toy and marital aid store for couples that’s nudity-free. 
  Shop from this link for special savings and part of your purchase will support Intimate Covenant.  
• Coconu — http://www.coconu.com
  Coconu is committed to helping people lead healthier, happier lives by offering 100% safe and organic personal care products. 
  Your purchase helps support Intimate Covenant AND you get 15% OFF. Coupon Code: intimateconvenant
• Dating Divas — https://thedatingdivas.myshopify.com?sca_ref=6278443.H6eWDeXGfx
  Strengthening marriages one date at a time.
  Shop from this link and your part of your purchase will help support Intimate Covenant. Check out their Sexy Subscription Boxes!
• Honoring Intimates — https://www.honoringintimates.com/?ref=INTIMATECOVENANT
  Modest and classy premium lingerie, model-free.
  Get 20% off and support Intimate Covenant with your purchase.
• Ginger & Peach — https://www.gingerandpeachlingerie.com/
  Ginger & Peach lingerie is a Christian husband and wife owned brand bringing classy, model-free lingerie to the market.
  Get 10% off your order and support Intimate Covenant with code: “INTIMATECOVENANT" 

 To send your comments, questions and suggestions, go to our website: www.intimatecovenant.com/podcast and click on the button: “Contact the Podcast” for an ANONYMOUS submission form. Or, send an email: [email protected]
 
Thanks for sharing, rating, reviewing and subscribing!

  
  Cherishing,
  Matt & Jenn

PS — If you have been blessed by the message of this podcast, we would deeply appreciate your support by donating to our mission of spreading God’s plan for intimate marriage and holy sexuality.

Join us at Patreon: www.patreon.com/intimatecovenant

Consider a one-time gift: www.intimatecovenant.com/donate

 www.intimatecovenant.com
Intimate Covenant | Matt & Jenn Schmidt

Support the show

Send us a text

This episode is an excerpt from the live Q&A session at the 2024 Annual Marriage Retreat. We’re sharing our response to the following question: “Can you go into further detail on how the act of sex can glorify God?” We’re also sharing our responses to questions about sex toys, solo masturbation, modeling a healthy sexual relationship for your kids, and when to talk to your kids about pornography.

We also want to thank the sponsors of this year's Retreat:

• Married Dance
• Coconu
• The Dating Divas
• Honoring Intimates
• Ginger & Peach
• Ultimate Intimacy
• Show Her Off
• The Adventure Challenge
• J. Parker

Please support these affiliate companies that support Intimate Covenant:

• Married Dance — https://marrieddance.com/?aff=29
  We’re a Christian-friendly, marriage-centered sex toy and marital aid store for couples that’s nudity-free. 
  Shop from this link for special savings and part of your purchase will support Intimate Covenant.  
• Coconu — https://www.coconu.com
  Coconu is committed to helping people lead healthier, happier lives by offering 100% safe and organic personal care products. 
  Your purchase helps support Intimate Covenant AND you get 15% OFF. Coupon Code: intimateconvenant
• Dating Divas — https://thedatingdivas.myshopify.com?sca_ref=6278443.H6eWDeXGfx
  Strengthening marriages one date at a time.
  Shop from this link and your part of your purchase will help support Intimate Covenant. Check out their Sexy Subscription Boxes!
• Honoring Intimates — https://www.honoringintimates.com/?ref=INTIMATECOVENANT
  Modest and classy premium lingerie, model-free.
  Get 20% off and support Intimate Covenant with your purchase.
• Ginger & Peach — https://www.gingerandpeachlingerie.com/
  Ginger & Peach lingerie is a Christian husband and wife owned brand bringing classy, model-free lingerie to the market.
  Get 10% off your order and support Intimate Covenant with code: “INTIMATECOVENANT" 

 To send your comments, questions and suggestions, go to our website: www.intimatecovenant.com/podcast and click on the button: “Contact the Podcast” for an ANONYMOUS submission form. Or, send an email: [email protected]
 
Thanks for sharing, rating, reviewing and subscribing!

  
  Cherishing,
  Matt & Jenn

PS — If you have been blessed by the message of this podcast, we would deeply appreciate your support by donating to our mission of spreading God’s plan for intimate marriage and holy sexuality.

Join us at Patreon: www.patreon.com/intimatecovenant

Consider a one-time gift: www.intimatecovenant.com/donate

 www.intimatecovenant.com
Intimate Covenant | Matt & Jenn Schmidt

Support the show

Send us a text

In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss the complaint, "My spouse never initiates sex." So, whose job is it, anyway? How can I get my spouse to initiate more often?

1. Whether it’s sexual connection or any other aspect of your relationship, if you sense a lack of it in your relationship, it’s up to you to initiate what is missing.
2. If you feel like you are the only one initiating, keep striving. But, recognize — with gratitude — that your spouse may be contributing a whole lot more to your sexual and emotional relationship than what you immediately recognize.
3. Responders, you can learn to initiate in ways that are comfortable for you and this effort will speak volumes of love to your pursuer.

Also, check out our eCourses, available on our website: www.intimatecovenant.com/courses

What Does Sex Mean To My Spouse?
If you’ve been married for more than 5 minutes, you recognize that you and your spouse see sex differently. Our intention with this eCourse is to challenge you to think about your sexual relationship in ways that you might not have ever considered before. We want to facilitate deep introspection and fruitful conversations between you and your spouse to help you build intimacy and oneness.

Make Better Connections
We all suffer occasions when our attempts to connect are ignored or rejected. This course will help you make better connections in your marriage — emotionally and sexually. Learn to pursue and respond to your spouse with passionate, irresistible vulnerability

Please support these companies that support Intimate Covenant:

• Married Dance — https://marrieddance.com/?aff=29 
  Shop from this link and part of your purchase will support Intimate Covenant.  
• Coconu — http://www.coconu.com 
  Your purchase helps support Intimate Covenant AND you get 15% OFF. Coupon Code: intimateconvenant

 To send your comments, questions and suggestions, go to our website: www.intimatecovenant.com/podcast and click on the button: “Contact the Podcast” for an ANONYMOUS submission form. Or, send an email: [email protected]
 
Thanks for sharing, rating, reviewing and subscribing!

  
  Cherishing,
  Matt & Jenn

PS — If you have been blessed by the message of this podcast, we would deeply appreciate your support by donating to our mission of spreading God’s plan for intimate marriage and holy sexuality.

Join us at Patreon: www.patreon.com/intimatecovenant

Consider a one-time gift: www.intimatecovenant.com/donate

 www.intimatecovenant.com
Intimate Covenant | Matt & Jenn Schmidt

Support the show

Send us a text

In this episode, Matt & Jenn compare the sexual relationship to a hurricane. Sex, like a hurricane, is a powerful, God-given force. While we can’t direct the path of a hurricane, quiet the gale-force winds, or suppress the rising waters, we do have control over the effects of sex in our own marriages.

• The forces of a hurricane are mostly destructive. But the power of sexual desire can be channeled to constructive, passionate and intimate relationship.
• The damage of hurricane-driven wind and water is unavoidable, but the damage of poorly planned sex is entirely preventable.
• When confronted by unexpected storms in your sex-life, use these challenges to further demonstrate your creativity and self-sacrificial love.

Please support these companies that support Intimate Covenant:

• Married Dance — https://marrieddance.com/?aff=29 
  Shop from this link for special savings and part of your purchase will support Intimate Covenant.  
• Coconu — http://www.coconu.com 
  Your purchase helps support Intimate Covenant AND you get 15% OFF. Coupon Code: intimateconvenant
• Dating Divas — https://thedatingdivas.myshopify.com?sca_ref=6278443.H6eWDeXGfx
  Shop from this link and your part of your purchase will help support Intimate Covenant. Check out their Sexy Subscription Boxes!

 To send your comments, questions and suggestions, go to our website: www.intimatecovenant.com/podcast and click on the button: “Contact the Podcast” for an ANONYMOUS submission form. Or, send an email: [email protected]
 
Thanks for sharing, rating, reviewing and subscribing!

  
  Cherishing,
  Matt & Jenn

PS — If you have been blessed by the message of this podcast, we would deeply appreciate your support by donating to our mission of spreading God’s plan for intimate marriage and holy sexuality.

Join us at Patreon: www.patreon.com/intimatecovenant

Consider a one-time gift: www.intimatecovenant.com/donate

 www.intimatecovenant.com
Intimate Covenant | Matt & Jenn Schmidt

Support the show

Send us a text

In this episode, Matt & Jenn respond to a listener's email from a wife who is feeling rejected because her husband, the usual sexual pursuer, has stopped initiating. We'll explore some of the reasons this might be happening and what she can do about it. Plus, we give some personal updates and exciting announcements about the future of Intimate Covenant.

1. Sexual pursuers may stop for many reasons and it’s often more complicated that just hormones.
2. A change in this dynamic in your relationship should never be ignored and requires an important conversation.
3. The pursuer in this dynamic must be willing to respond with enthusiasm and continue to reach out to make connections wherever possible.

Use this link to get your 2024 Dating Divas Marriage Bundle: https://shop.thedatingdivas.com/discount/INTIMATE2024?redirect=%2Fproducts%2Fmarriage-bundle-2024

Kingdom Singles - Houston
For more information and to register: www.intimatecovenant.com/HOUsingles

Intimate Covenant eCourses:
www.intimatecovenant.com/courses

Please support these companies that support Intimate Covenant:

• Married Dance — https://marrieddance.com/?aff=29 
  Shop from this link and part of your purchase will support Intimate Covenant.  
• Coconu — http://www.coconu.com 
  Coupon Code: intimateconvenant for 15% off your purchase
• Adventure Challenge — https://www.theadventurechallenge.com
  Use coupon code: intimatecovenant for 10% off your purchase.

 To send your comments, questions and suggestions, go to our website: www.intimatecovenant.com/podcast and click on the button: “Contact the Podcast” for an ANONYMOUS submission form. Or, send an email: [email protected]
 
Thanks for sharing, rating, reviewing and subscribing!

  
  Cherishing,
  Matt & Jenn

PS — If you have been blessed by the message of this podcast, we would deeply appreciate your support by donating to our mission of spreading God’s plan for intimate marriage and holy sexuality.

Join us at Patreon: www.patreon.com/intimatecovenant

Consider a one-time gift: www.intimatecovenant.com/donate

 www.intimatecovenant.com
Intimate Covenant | Matt & Jenn Schmidt

Support the show

Send us a text

In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss some of the latest TikTok relationship tests and whether there is something we can learn about our marriages from these viral trends. 

1. If you really want to test your relationship, pick up a mirror rather than a microscope. Only you can change you. 
2. “Turn towards” rather than “turning away” from your spouse by making and receiving bids for connection.
3. Whether your prior rejections have been intentional or unintentional, challenge yourself to see and lean into those bids for connection from your spouse.

Please support these companies that support Intimate Covenant:

• Married Dance — https://marrieddance.com/?aff=29 
  Shop from this link and part of your purchase will support Intimate Covenant.  
• Coconu — http://www.coconu.com 
  Your purchase helps support Intimate Covenant AND you get 15% OFF. Coupon Code: intimateconvenant

 To send your comments, questions and suggestions, go to our website: www.intimatecovenant.com/podcast and click on the button: “Contact the Podcast” for an ANONYMOUS submission form. Or, send an email: [email protected]
 
Thanks for sharing, rating, reviewing and subscribing!

  Cherishing,
  Matt & Jenn

PS — If you have been blessed by the message of this podcast, we would deeply appreciate your support by donating to our mission of spreading God’s plan for intimate marriage and holy sexuality.

Join us at Patreon: www.patreon.com/intimatecovenant
Consider a one-time gift: www.intimatecovenant.com/donate

 www.intimatecovenant.com
Intimate Covenant | Matt & Jenn Schmidt

Support the show

Send us a text

In this episode, Matt and Jenn discuss the resurging popularity of sleeping in separate bedrooms. We'll consider the  reasons why a couple might choose this option and whether it might be wise for your marriage. In addition, we'll discuss some of the consequences of spouses who have separate bedtimes.

1. Every step we take away from our spouses, especially physically, has inevitable negative long-term consequences for the relationship. The decision to sleep apart should be weighed carefully and be constantly reevaluated. 
2. As much as is within your power, eliminate the barriers to sleeping together so that you can get be in bed with each other as often as possible.
3. Likewise, separate bedtimes also promote emotional and physical drift away from each other, allowing opportunity for selfishness and betrayal.

As promised, here are the sources for the data that we referenced in this episode:

•  Elsey, Taylor et al. “The role of couple sleep concordance in sleep quality: Attachment as a moderator of associations.” Journal of sleep research vol. 28,5 (2019): e12825. 
• Drews HJ, Drews A. Couple Relationships Are Associated With Increased REM Sleep-A Proof-of-Concept Analysis of a Large Dataset Using Ambulatory Polysomnography. Front Psychiatry. 2021 May 10;12:641102.
• Richter, K., Adam, S., Geiss, L., Peter, L., & Niklewski, G. (2016). Two in a bed: The influence of couple sleeping and chronotypes on relationship and sleep. An overview. Chronobiology International, 33(10), 1464–1472. 
• Troxel WM; Buysse DJ; Matthews KA; Kravitz HM; Bromberger JT; Sowers M; Hall MH. Marital/cohabitation status and history in relation to sleep in midlife women. SLEEP 2010;33(7):973-981.
• Chiao, Chi et al. “Loneliness in older parents: marital transitions, family and social connections, and separate bedrooms for sleep.” BMC geriatrics vol. 21,1 590. 22 Oct. 2021
• Larson JH, Crane DR, Smith CW. (1991). Morning and night couples: The effect of wake and sleep patterns on marital adjustment. J Marital Fam Ther. 17:53–65.
• Ulfberg J, Carter N, Talback M, Edling C. (2000). Adverse health effects among women living with heavy snorers. Health Care Women Int. 21:81–90.
• Gordon, A. M., & Chen, S. (2014). The Role of Sleep in Interpersonal Conflict: Do Sleepless Nights Mean Worse Fights? Social Psychological and Personality Science, 5(2), 168-175.
• Cartwright, R D, and S Knight. “Silent partners: the wives of sleep apneic patients.” Sleep vol. 10,3 (1987): 244-8. 
• Cascais Costa C, Afreixo V, Cravo J. Impact of Obstructive Sleep Apnea Treatment on Marital Relationships: Sleeping Together Again? Cureus. 2023 Oct 5;15(10):e46513.

Please support these companies that support Intimate Covenant:

• Married Dance — https://marrieddance.com/?aff=29 
  Shop from this link and part of your purchase will support Intimate Covenant.  
• Coconu — http://www.coconu.com 
  Your purchase helps support Intimate Covenant AND you get 15% OFF. Coupon Code: intimateconvenant

To send your comments, questions and suggestions, go to our website: www.intimatecovenant.com/podcast and click on the button: “Contact the Podcast” for an ANONYMOUS submission form. Or, send an email: [email protected]
 
Thanks for sharing, rating, reviewing and subscribing!

 
  Cherishing,
  Matt & Jenn
 www.intimatecovenant.com
Intimate Cove

Support the show