Do you ever feel like you’re stuck in life, settling for an “okay” relationship, a decent job, or a predictable routine? On this week’s Love University Podcast, we uncovered the secret to breaking free from mediocrity and stepping into a life of boldness and achievement. As we learned in The Man with No Shirt story, the path to greatness starts with aiming for what seems impossible—and discovering that it’s not only within reach, but essential for your ultimate happiness.

The antidote to feeling stuck is to extend your psychological reach farther than you think possible. Ask yourself, “What would it look like if I became the greatest version of myself—the best partner, parent, creator, or businessperson?” It’s about daring to aim for “insane” goals that others might dismiss as unrealistic. Why? Because even if you fall short, you’ll surpass limits you never thought you could. As we explored on the show, striving for greatness sets a powerful chain reaction in motion: small wins lead to bigger wins, confidence builds, and barriers you once saw as immovable start to dissolve.

In The Man with No Shirt, a desperate young man searches for the happiest person in the world, believing he can gain happiness by wearing that person’s shirt. But the story takes a surprising turn when he learns that the happiest man has no shirt—because happiness isn’t external; it’s already within you. As we discussed on the podcast, this tale reminds us that the key to reaching extraordinary heights is not just about external goals, but about recognizing your own inner potential.

To take charge of your destiny, you must aim for goals that stretch you to the limit. Think about what you really want in life: an incredible career, a love-filled relationship, or an extraordinary lifestyle. Start small—send that email to a mentor, enroll in a course to boost your confidence, or try something new that aligns with your dreams. As we emphasized on the show, focusing on one significant action each day helps eliminate distractions, silence self-doubt, and build unstoppable momentum.

Of course, the journey won’t always be easy. You’ll face obstacles, procrastination, and fear. But as we learned, pushing beyond mental limitations—just like the young man searching for happiness—reveals an unexpected truth: You’re capable of far more than you realize. The moment you stop settling for “okay” and start reaching for the stars is the moment your life begins to transform.

On Love University, we’re here to inspire you to think big, dream bold, and take that first daring step toward the life you deserve. Remember, it’s not about finding someone else’s “shirt” of happiness—it’s about stepping into your own greatness. The impossible isn’t as far away as it seems. When you extend your reach, you’ll realize you were made for much more.

So, what’s your impossible goal? Take a step today, and watch the extraordinary unfold.

Do you believe that love should be a partnership built on trust, shared experiences, and practical connection? If so, you might be the Craftsperson LoveType (ISTP on the Myers-Briggs personality test)—a resourceful and independent individual who values freedom, exploration, and tangible accomplishments in both life and love. On our Love University podcast, we explored the unique qualities of the Craftsperson and how you can find fulfilling love and purpose. Here’s what we discovered:

As a Craftsperson, you approach life with a quiet confidence and a knack for problem-solving, making you an intriguing and grounded partner. You thrive in relationships that allow for both independence and mutual respect. For you, love is not about constant emotional intensity or elaborate displays of affection—it’s about steady, meaningful actions and building a life together through shared experiences and practical support.

In relationships, you may not always express your emotions openly, but your actions speak volumes. Whether it’s fixing something that’s broken, planning an exciting outdoor adventure, or simply being a steady presence, you show your love through what you do rather than what you say. This makes you a dependable and down-to-earth partner, but it can also lead to misunderstandings if your emotional depth isn’t fully recognized.

To find your perfect love, seek someone who appreciates your hands-on approach and values your self-sufficiency. You’ll thrive with a partner who respects your need for space and freedom but also inspires you to explore deeper emotional connections. Look for someone who enjoys adventure and discovery as much as you do—someone who can join you in experiencing life to the fullest without holding you back.

At the same time, it’s important to acknowledge your own emotional needs and communicate them with your partner. While you might be naturally reserved, opening up about your feelings can lead to a stronger, more intimate bond. Remember, vulnerability isn’t a weakness; it’s a bridge to deeper understanding and connection.

As a Craftsperson, your ideal relationship is one where mutual respect and shared interests create a foundation of trust and companionship. Whether you’re building a project together, exploring a new hiking trail, or simply enjoying a quiet evening, the love you seek is grounded in authentic moments and mutual growth.

The key to finding your perfect love as an ISTP lies in balancing your independence with emotional openness. Embrace your adventurous, pragmatic nature, but don’t shy away from vulnerability that can enrich your relationships. By seeking a partner who aligns with your values and supports your journey of exploration and growth, you can create a love that’s not only stable but also endlessly fulfilling.

With the right partner by your side, your love life can become a journey of shared adventure and practical joy—proving that even the most independent hearts can find extraordinary love and purpose.

By Dr. Alex Avila

Do you believe that love should be a grand adventure filled with endless possibilities? If so, you may be the Social Philosopher LoveType (ENFP on the Myers-Briggs personality test). As an ENFP, you're a passionate, free-spirited individual who thrives on deep connections, exploration, and discovering new perspectives in every aspect of life. You’re an idealist with a deep yearning for meaning, often questioning the world around you and how love fits into the larger picture of existence.

In relationships, you are the type of person who desires more than just romance—you crave emotional depth, intellectual stimulation, and the sense that you're growing together with your partner. You’re always seeking new ideas, perspectives, and experiences, and you want a partner who can keep up with your adventurous spirit and philosophical musings. You're highly empathetic and love engaging in heartfelt, meaningful conversations that delve into the mysteries of life. But while your openness and creativity make you an exciting partner, your idealism can sometimes lead you to expect perfection or overlook potential incompatibilities in a relationship.

If you find the right person who shares your sense of adventure and can match your intellectual curiosity, you can build a love that’s both deeply fulfilling and endlessly transformative. However, be cautious of letting your boundless enthusiasm for potential cloud your judgment. Your imagination may lead you to idealize someone or a relationship to the point of overlooking red flags or staying in a situation that doesn't align with your true desires.

The key to finding your perfect love as an ENFP is embracing both your passionate spirit and your need for authentic connection. Recognize that love, for you, is a journey of mutual growth and discovery. By staying true to your values and seeking a partner who can engage with you on a deep emotional and intellectual level, you'll create a relationship that not only enriches your life but also allows both of you to explore the endless possibilities of love and meaning together.

Do you believe that love should be a deeply emotional and spiritual experience? If so, you may be the Mystic Writer LoveType (INFJ on the Myers-Briggs personality test). On our Love University podcast, Dr. Avila reveals Mystic Writer love secrets from his classic bestseller, LoveTypes (https://shorturl.at/6uo30). As a Mystic Writer, you’re a rare personality type who values the written word, is a great listener, and wants to help humanity in a creative, spiritual, or psychological way. When it comes to love, you can be quite content having your soul mate as your primary, and perhaps sole, source of companionship in life (you like it that way). You are highly idealistic and privately passionate. You can love someone very profoundly, but you may stay too long in an incompatible relationship because you can delude yourself (with your highly attuned sense of imagination) into believing the person is the right one. On the positive side, if you find the right “soul partner,” you can create a love that lasts a lifetime and beyond.

Would like to speedread your dates and quickly determine if they’re the one? Now, there is a way to do that by utilizing Dr. Avila’s classic LoveTypes system (lovetype.com). Based on the theory behind the Myers-Briggs®—the most popular personality test in the world, Dr. Avila’s approach to love finding has been proven with over 40 million internet users. On our Love University podcast, Dr. Avila explained two of the most important LoveType personality dimensions: Deciding and Organizing, as follows:

It is said that differences make the world go round. Yet, certain differences in core values and preferences can make a relationship more conflictual and difficult. Therefore, it’s important to recognize and understand your love partner’s differences, especially in the initial dating stages before you fall in love and commit (possibly to the wrong person). By applying the LoveTypes system, and screening out candidates who are not compatible, you have a better chance of discovering your ideal soul mate and creating a love that lasts a lifetime.

Are you practical or imaginative? How about your love partner? Research shows that 70% of happily married couples are the same or similar in this personality dimension—either both imaginative or both practical. On our Love University Podcast, we delved into the Jungian/Myers-Briggs personality dimension known as N/S or Intuitive/Sensor (Imaginative/Practical), and how it can affect the happiness and success of couples.

If you’re an N (Intuitive/Imaginative), you probably like to create, invent, innovate, and think outside the box. You may like psychology, philosophy, science, technology, spirituality, and the arts. You’re always looking to improve something.

If you’re an S (Sensory/Practical), you may like to experience life through your five senses in a practical, realistic, and concrete way. You savor the aesthetics of life, and you’re probably good at saving, investing, and dealing with practical matters. You enjoy life as you experience it in the moment, not in a “pie in the sky” futuristic way.

Unfortunately, a strong N with a strong S can have a lot of problems in a relationship, especially if they don’t respect each other’s styles.

The S will say to the N: “You’re such a head in the clouds person. Come down to earth.”

The N will reply: “And why are you such a stick in the mud? Why don’t we elevate our auras to a higher point of actualization and enter the noosphere?”

The S will retort; “Why don’t you elevate yourself off the couch and pay the bills; we’re two weeks late.”

The good news is that Ns and Ss can work things out in their relationships—and may even complement each other—if they respect each other’s differences. Tune in to hear more about how to make the practical versus imaginative dimension work in your relationship so you can create a love that lasts a lifetime.

Do you have election anxiety—stress and worry about how a political outcome will affect your life? The election in the US has taken place and millions of people are experiencing a variety of emotions—from hope to despair; from confidence and optimism to worry and fear.  Some people become so emotionally identified with their preferred candidate or party that they think their personal self-worth or self-esteem is riding on an election outcome. On our Love University podcast, we went into the community to ask people their thoughts and feelings about the election, and we received a fascinating variety of opinions. Here are three things that can help if you’re experiencing election anxiety:

*Limit your political media consumption. Although it’s good to stay informed, many people go overboard and spend too much time watching the news and feeling anxious about it. To counteract this, set boundaries for how much time you will spend checking political news (1 hour etc.), and take breaks from election coverage. In this way, you will refresh your mind and see things from a different perspective.

 *Focus on what you can control. You may feel that election results are a big thing that you can’t control—and you may start feeling helpless about it. The solution is to stay active. Stay informed, volunteer, and have meaningful conversations about policy and issues with people who care about those things. It’s true: The more active you are, the better you will feel.

*Practice mindfulness and relaxation. You can reduce stress and improve your emotional control by focusing on the present moment.  Try this exercise: Spend ten to fifteen minutes each day imagining a beautiful scene as you breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. For example, if you visualize that you’re on a beach, imagine the sounds you hear (waves crashing), what you see (beautiful blue sky and ocean), what you smell (the smell of coconut oil), and the emotions you feel (peace and relaxation). Do this daily, and you will be more centered, and at peace.

Election time and the period afterward can be stressful in some people’s lives. The good news is that you can maintain peace and relaxation by taking care of your physical and emotional needs. It’s also important to extend loving energy without expectation. Love yourself, others, and a higher nature, and you will be in a much better place.

Special Announcement: Meet Dr. Avila live for a remarkable evening of conversation and networking: “Riches without Limits: Invincible You.” The free talk is being held on 11/10/24 at 7:00pm at the Brea Civic and Community Center, Community Room A (upstairs, 2nd floor).  Reserve your seat now while they last:  bit.ly/3Yich6g  

Are you in an Introvert-Extrovert relationship? Maybe you’re the Introvert—you get energy more from your own thoughts—and your partner is the outgoing, Extraverted type.  If you don’t understand each other, you may clash. Or, you could be an Extroverted woman with an Introverted man, which can be a challenging combination based on research. In our enlightening Love University podcast, love personality expert, Dr. Avila (Lovetypes: Discover Your Romantic Style And Find Your Soul Mate: Avila, Alexander: 9780380800148: Amazon.com: Books), delves into the world of Introversion and Extroversion in dating, love, and relationships. He reveals important tips on how to thrive in various personality love combinations, as follows:

*Introverts and Extroverts have different needs for social energy. Introverts often like to stay home while Extroverts like to go out. Key to success: Extroverts, respect your Introverts need for “alone/quiet time,” while Introverts be OK with giving your Extrovert a boy’s/girl’s night out.

*Introverts like to listen; Extroverts like to talk.  Although Introverts like to talk at times and Extroverts can listen, it’s usually the Extrovert doing the majority of the talking. In this case, each partner needs to appreciate the other’s style (Extroverts listen to Introverts; Introverts let your Extrovert enjoy their talking time).

*Extrovert women and Introvert men can have challenges. Research shows that Extrovert women have the most problem with Introvert men in the areas of chores, finances, hobbies, communication and sex. If they don’t respect each other’s style, they will attack each other (“Why don’t you speak up?” “Can you be quiet for once?”).

The key of harmony in relationships is to appreciate and respect each other’s unique personality style (LoveType). When partners do this, almost any combination can work—two Introverts or two Extroverts together; or an Introvert/Extrovert combination. Respect and mutual appreciation for each other’s personality difference can work wonders in a relationship