It's Aiden's 4th birthday, and for the first time since he was born, Judith is planning to go to work on the day.

It might not sound like a big deal to some (especially those of you who HAD to work on previous birthdays), but it feels like a big deal to us. There are not many things that we keep sacred in our grief, but the birthdays and death anniversaries have (so far) been two of them. Not so anymore.

Big feelings all around... and shout-out to Taylor Swift for all of the songs we reference in this episode that help us talk about these big feelings.

- "It only hurts this much right now, is what I've been thinking the whole time."

- "I love you. It's ruining my life."

- "A lesser woman would've lost hope; a greater woman wouldn't beg. But I look to the sky and say... please."

- "Isn't it just so pretty to think, that all along there was some invisible string tying you to me."

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This episode of As Long As I'm Living is sponsored in memory of Isabel Poppy! We'll post a bit more about Isabel on our Instagram this week.

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As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.