By Judith and Alina
4.9
2222 ratings
The podcast currently has 169 episodes available.
Meet Marnina!
Judith and Marnina have known each other for 15 years... but they didn't really know each other until they each lost a baby.
Judith lost Aiden first, and when Marnina lost her daughter Michal the next year, Judith became a lifeline for her. This was incredibly meaningful for Judith, who had needed so much care and support from others over the previous year and finally got a chance to pay it forward.
Now, Marnina is a few years out, and she channels the way Judith cared for her as she pays it forward to the newly bereaved in her community. The circle of loss is a devastating, beautiful thing.
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This episode is sponsored in memory of Harper, on her second birthday. You can sponsor an episode of As Long As I'm Living here.
Harper's mom Erin wanted to shout out a few organizations that have been meaningful to her since Harper's loss:
- @KindermournCLT: KinderMourn is an absolute lifesaver for families who have lost children. They have an annual Duck Race every year that celebrates all babies gone too soon.
- @Madelynsfund: Madelyn's Fund supports NICU families in NC and SC. They paid our funeral costs when Harper died.
- @SaylorsStory sends beautiful, meaningful comfort bags to Moms.
- @MotherofWilde - creates the most beautiful prints. We have one hanging in our front foyer of our sweet girl.
- @evolvehealthclt_supportgroup is a monthly group in Charlotte open to moms who have been through any type of loss. Dr. Sydney Fenton is a huge advocate here for the loss community and the group has brought some amazing moms together.
You can connect with Harper's Mom (and receive a free copy of the resource guide she's put together for loss parents for Harper's first birthday) here: [email protected]
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Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast OR buy buying our MERCH at bonfire.com/store/alailpodcast!
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at [email protected], or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
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As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
In case you missed it, Alina is pregnant! And it's hard.
She went on a vacation a few weeks ago and faced her first "pregnancy after loss" gauntlet of questions that were well-meaning but ultimately extremely triggering. Listen to find out how she dealt with it, and to hear what advice Judith has for her and others in similar situations.
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This episode is sponsored in memory of baby Arthur! You can sponsor an episode of As Long As I'm Living here.
Arthur's favorite book: The Moon is Always Round
Lyndi asked us to shout-out her favorite loss organization, Return to Zero Hope!
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Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast OR buy buying our MERCH at bonfire.com/store/alailpodcast!
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at [email protected], or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
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As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
Judith gave birth to her baby boy a few weeks ago, and while the birth was smooth... the subsequent hours and days were not. It was extremely traumatic for both Judith and Alina, who were acutely reminded that babies can and do die.
Thankfully, Judith's son got great care and is alive and well, and they are adjusting to life at home as a family of 5ish (2 adults, 1 dead child, 2 living children, and 1 dog).
This episode was recorded on the day after Judith's birth, while she was in the hospital, and it was all very fresh. We hope you enjoy this episode, but it is pretty raw, and for those with NICU trauma may be triggering. As always, please take good care of yourself and only listen if it feels safe for you.
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Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast OR buy buying our MERCH at bonfire.com/store/alailpodcast!
:::
Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at [email protected], or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
:::
As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
Yes, this is a pregnancy announcement ♥️
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Things we talk about in this episode:
- ALAIL | Breathing After Loss, an Interview About Parenting After Loss with Zayn's Mom Katie
- ALAIL | First Time Moms for the Second Time, More About Parenting After Loss with Zayn's Mom Katie
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Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast OR buy buying our MERCH at bonfire.com/store/alailpodcast!
:::
Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at [email protected], or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
:::
As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
Today on the podcast, we're welcoming back our resident grief therapist: Dr. Denise Mandel!
We talk to Dr. Denise allllll about support groups. What are they, how do they help, how can you find one? We also talk about why some people DON'T like support groups, and other ways that you can find support in your loss if the group you tried to join isn't working.
Dr. Denise is actively recruiting for a new baby loss support group, so if you've been looking for a kind, supportive provider and a warm, welcoming group of bereaved parents... this is your sign! Reach out to her at [email protected].
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Things we talk about in this episode:
- @griefwithdrdenise on Instagram
- ALAIL | An Incomparable Loss, an interview with Christine, Miranda's Mom
- ALAIL | Grief Needs a Witness, an interview with Dr. Denise Mandel
- ALAIL | There Are No Silver Linings, an Interview about Making Meaning in Grief with Dr. Denise Mandel
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Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast OR buy buying our MERCH at bonfire.com/store/alailpodcast!
:::
Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at [email protected], or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
:::
As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
Hi all! It's a holiday week here in the US, so we're taking the opportunity to release an Instagram live we did back in May to the feed.
In this live, we mainly talk about a then-recent episode of the podcast in which we tell the stories of our losses. If you haven't listened to that episode yet, listen HERE and then come back and listen to all the commentary :)
If you'd rather watch the Instagram Live instead of listening to it (highly recommend), you can do that HERE!
We'll see you back here next week with a brand new episode!
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Things we talk about in this episode:
- ALAIL | Long Story Short, I Survived
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Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast OR buy buying our MERCH at bonfire.com/store/alailpodcast!
:::
Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at [email protected], or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
:::
As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
In this episode, Judith talks about how she's prepping as she approaches the birth of a (hopefully alive) new baby.
How is she thinking about naming her son, after her first son died? What of Aiden's clothes will she put on the new baby? Will she do the same religious traditions, in the same way? How is her mental health?
Preparation for a new baby is always a huge undertaking, but it's even more intense when one of your babies has died.
Update: Judith's baby was born, and he's alive!
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Things we talk about in this episode:
- ALAIL | Maybe Baby (Judith in labor with her daughter)
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Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast OR buy buying our MERCH at bonfire.com/store/alailpodcast!
:::
Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at [email protected], or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
:::
As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
We are honored to be joined on the podcast today by Emily, Maliyah's Mom, to talk about her TFMR (termination for medical reasons) last year. In our previous interviews about TFMR, the parents have had to make the decision to terminate due to their baby's own serious condition(s). In this case, Emily had to choose a termination to save her own life and lost her daughter in the process.
This is a crystal clear example of how abortion is healthcare. Emily's pregnancy was killing her, and there was no way to save both her baby and herself. This conversation feels more important than ever with the continued attacks on reproductive healthcare in many states here in the US.
Thank you for listening with an open heart to Emily's story, and thank you Emily for your vulnerability.
Note: We separated out the majority of the medical details of Maliyah's birth into a separate episode for those of you who find pregnancy complications triggering. To listen to that episode for all of the context, go back one in your podcast feed!
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Things we talk about in this episode:
- HELLP syndrome - Hemolysis, Elevated Liver enzymes, and Low Platelets syndrome
- ALAIL | TFMR is Baby Loss, an interview with Hadley's Mom Jill
- ALAIL | When "Choice" Doesn't Feel Like a Choice, an interview about TFMR with Adelyn's Mom Alyssa
- ALAIL | The Stillbirth Specialist, an interview with OBGYN Dr. Heather Florescue (Part 1)
- ALAIL | From the Other Side of the Stirrups, another interview with OBGYN Dr. Heather Florescue (Part 2)
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Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast OR buy buying our MERCH at bonfire.com/store/alailpodcast!
:::
Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at [email protected], or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
:::
As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
We are honored to be joined on the podcast today by Emily, Maliyah's Mom, to talk about her TFMR (termination for medical reasons) last year. In our previous interviews about TFMR, the parents have had to make the decision to terminate due to their baby's own serious condition(s). In this case, Emily had to choose a termination to save her own life and lost her daughter in the process.
This is a crystal clear example of how abortion is healthcare. Emily's pregnancy was killing her, and there was no way to save both her baby and herself. This conversation feels more important than ever with the continued attacks on reproductive healthcare in many states here in the US.
Thank you for listening with an open heart to Emily's story, and thank you Emily for your vulnerability.
Note: This episode contains the majority of the medical details of Emily's TFMR, and if you find pregnancy complications triggering, we recommend you skip straight to the next episode in which we speak with Emily more broadly.
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Things we talk about in this episode:
- HELLP syndrome - Hemolysis, Elevated Liver enzymes, and Low Platelets syndrome
- ALAIL | TFMR is Baby Loss, an interview with Hadley's Mom Jill
- ALAIL | When "Choice" Doesn't Feel Like a Choice, an interview about TFMR with Adelyn's Mom Alyssa
- ALAIL | The Stillbirth Specialist, an interview with OBGYN Dr. Heather Florescue (Part 1)
- ALAIL | From the Other Side of the Stirrups, another interview with OBGYN Dr. Heather Florescue (Part 2)
:::
Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast OR buy buying our MERCH at bonfire.com/store/alailpodcast!
:::
Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at [email protected], or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
:::
As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
The statistics about freak accidents, rare diseases, and the astounding unlikelihood of your baby dying are comforting... until you're the one in a million that has a bad outcome.
Our attitudes about statistics have changed. Let's talk about it.
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Things we talk about in this episode:
- The Miscarriage Odds Reassurer
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at [email protected], or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
:::
As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
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