When Joe Gow was fired from his position as chancellor and professor at the University of Wisconsin at La Crosse, his superiors said it was due to “abhorrent” behavior. Joe had made porn videos with his wife Carmen and uploaded them onto the internet under the name “Sexy Happy Couple.” 

This week, Joe and Carmen tell their side of the story and explain how making porn spiced up their marriage. They also defend themselves against the argument that what they did was inappropriate. 

Slate writer Dan Kois’ previous interviews with Joe Gow:

You can check out our previous series about erectile dysfunction, called Hard, here. 

Podcast production by Cameron Drews. 

Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.

And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is [email protected].

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In 2020, we made an episode about a listener who cheated on his wife with sex workers and was going through a divorce. He told us the idea to go on the website Seeking Arrangement came from an episode we made about sugar babies. A few weeks ago we called “Ethan” back to see what’s changed in his life since our first conversation, and how he navigates discussions about his past infidelity with his new wife.

Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.

And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is [email protected].

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Anna talks to writer Ada Calhoun, author most recently of the novel Crush, about a married woman succumbing to extramarital temptation (she wrote it while she herself was separating from her husband) and then to comedian Rosebud Baker about her new Netflix comedy special, The Mother Lode, which is all about late-stage pregnancy and early motherhood.

This episode was recorded live at On Air Fest in New York City on February 20th. 

Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.

And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is [email protected].

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Since the inauguration in January, we’ve been getting emails and voice recordings from people whose lives have been thrust into uncertainty due to changes made by the Trump administration. Many federal workers and people who rely on federal money have lost their jobs. Others feel vulnerable and uncertain. 

This week, we’ll hear from a range of people who’ve been affected, from an IRS attorney who’s been a target of Elon Musk’s DOGE efforts to an army sergeant who could very likely be forced out of her post because she’s trans. 

Podcast production by Cameron Drews.

Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.

And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is [email protected].

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When comedian Chelsea Devantez began writing her memoir, she knew exactly where to start: with a teenage relationship that spiraled into domestic violence. But when she submitted her draft, lawyers informed her she legally couldn't name her abuser or detail what happened.

"I threw the book in the trash for a few months," Chelsea recalls. After consulting friends and family, she decided to continue writing with a new approach. "Instead of telling my story, I would try to tell the story of how our systems are set up to silence."

In this episode, Chelsea and Anna also discuss how a complex PTSD diagnosis helped explain puzzling personality traits, friendship breakups, family secrets, and navigating a male-dominated, rich kid comedy scene.

Chelsea Devantez’s memoir is called I Shouldn't Be Telling You This: (But I'm Going to Anyway), and she has a podcast called Glamorous Trash: A Celebrity Memoir Podcast. 

Podcast production by Zoe Azulay and Andrew Dunn.

Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.

And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is [email protected].

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Six and a half years ago, in the wake of the #MeToo movement, we asked our listeners how they think about manhood–how to be, what’s hard, where they feel lost. Fast forward to 2025, and the norms and trends around manhood are even more varied and complicated. So we thought it would be a good time to revisit the stories from 2018 and provide updates on some of the men we heard from.

If you are a man, or are raising a man, or love a man, and want to share more about what you’re noticing about mixed signals about manhood and masculinity today and where you get stuck, record a voice memo and send it to us at [email protected]. 

Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.

And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is [email protected]. 

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When the poet and writer Kaveh Akbar likes something, he really likes it. As a high school student, he got hooked on poetry. In college, it was alcohol. This week, Kaveh talks to Anna Sale about the factors that led to his sobriety, and he explains exactly how he manages a life that’s full of healthy, wonderful obsessions as well as problematic ones.  

Kaveh’s critically acclaimed novel Martyr! is now available in paperback. You can read about his temporary fixation on collecting basketball cards in GQ. 

Podcast production by Cameron Drews.

Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.

And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is [email protected].

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In 2023, Anna and On The Media’s Micah Loewinger traveled to Montana to talk to Tasha Adams, the ex-wife of Stewart Rhodes, who founded the far-right paramilitary group, the Oath Keepers. Stewart had been charged with seditious conspiracy for his participation in the January 6 Capitol riots, and Tasha was eagerly awaiting sentencing: “I need him to stay locked away so my kids can legally cut contact with him when they’re 18.”

Tasha described their decades-long marriage, from their courtship in a ballroom dance class in Las Vegas, to abuse and isolation as Stewart became transfixed on politics and apocalyptic ideas. She and her six kids managed to escape in 2018. And shortly after our conversation there was some good news for Tasha: her divorce was finalized, and Stewart got a long sentence – 18 years. 

Then Trump was re-elected, and on his first day in office he issued nearly 1,500 pardons and commuted the sentences of 14 of his supporters in connection with Jan. 6. Among them was Stewart. 

This week we’re replaying our 2023 conversation with Tasha, as well as a portion of a follow-up conversation we recorded with her right before Trump’s inauguration.

Watch: Trailer for ‘King of the Apocalypse’ 

Podcast production by Zoe Azulay

Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.

And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is [email protected].

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Comedian Gary Gulman is used to dealing with bullies. He grew up with older brothers, who he describes as "aggressive" and “unenlightened,” and he’s witnessed plenty of unkind behavior from his peers in the New York City comedy scene. This is all despite being, in his words, “very, very sensitive.” 

This week, Gary talks about managing that sensitivity, standing up for his principles, and becoming more secure in who he is as a comedian and a man. 

Podcast production by Andrew Dunn.

Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.

And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is [email protected].

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Babygirl, the new erotic thriller starring Nicole Kidman, features an age-gap romance and a power imbalance. But according to the filmmaker Halina Reijn, it’s more about “what part of us is civilized…and what part of us is still driven by primal forces.” It’s also extremely entertaining, sexy, and dryly hilarious. 

This week, Halina Reijn talks about why she wrote the movie, her decision to move away from a very successful and decades-long acting career, and her mission to get us all talking more openly about our sexual desires. 

Podcast production by Cameron Drews.

Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.

And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is [email protected].

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices