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As Long As I'm Living
As Long As I'm Living episodes
- 'Til Death Do Us Part (1), an interview about relationships after baby loss with Dr. Denise Mandel
We're back with our resident grief counselor, Dr. Denise Mandel for a very special Valentine's Day episode about relationships after baby loss.
She answers questions like:
- How does grief affect intimacy and connection, both emotionally and physically?
- Do men and women really grieve differently?
- How do blame and guilt cause tension and resentment between parents, and is there a healthy way to work through those feelings?
- Can couples actually come out of the experience of losing a baby with a stronger relationship?
- ... and so much more!
Com back next week for part 2!
Dr. Denise is actively recruiting for a new baby loss support group, so if you've been looking for a kind, supportive provider and a warm, welcoming group of bereaved parents... this is your sign! Reach out to her at [email protected].
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The information shared in this episode is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health treatment or therapy. If you are struggling with suicidal thoughts and think you may be a danger to yourself, please reach out immediately to the National Suicide Prevention hotline (800-273-8255) in the U.S. Linked here are additional resources in the United States. Linked here are resources for Canada. Linked here are resources for the U.K. Linked here are resources for Australia. Linked here are global resources. You are not alone.
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Things we talk about in this episode:
-@griefwithdrdenise on Instagram
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Support As Long As I'm Living podcast atbuymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast OR buy buying our MERCH atbonfire.com/store/alailpodcast!
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at@aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at[email protected], or visit us atanchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
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As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
35 min - Take It or Leave It (Advice for Loss Parents)Do you want to know our opinions on the best time to try for a new baby after a loss? How to throw a dead baby birthday party? The best thing to say to avoid talking about your unconventional family at the dentist? Then listen to this episode!We cobbled together some rambling advice on some random topics for you... take it or leave it! (Seriously, please feel free to leave it and ignore us entirely!):::Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast OR buy buying our MERCH at bonfire.com/store/alailpodcast!:::Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at [email protected], or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!:::As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.32 min
- Write to Grieve, part 2 of our interview with bereaved aunt Rochel
This week we are continuing our interview with Rochel, the bereaved aunt of sweet Sophie and psychiatric nurse practitioner. In this episode, we talk with Rochel about her other loss experiences (she's sadly an experienced griever) and how she uses writing and other modalities to integrate the losses into her life.
We were caught off guard by how emotional this interview with Rochel was. Both of us felt seen and held in our grief in a way we rarely do with those who are not bereaved parents themselves... we hope you feel the same after this time with Rochel. Sending love to Sophie in the stars <3
If you missed Part 1 of this interview, you can listen to that here!
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If you are interested in working with Rochel, you can reach her via email! Her Instagram is @rochelspang.
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Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast OR buy buying our MERCH at bonfire.com/store/alailpodcast!
:::Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at [email protected], or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!:::As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.45 min - Love... Continued, an interview about creating new memories with our lost loved ones with bereaved aunt Rochel
In this episode, we interview Judith's friend Rochel about the complexities of grief, particularly the loss of her niece Sophie. Rochel shares how she continues to build on her relationship with Sophie even after her death, and the ways in which she continues to celebrate her life.
You may remember Rochel from a post we shared on our stories a few weeks ago, part of which is shared below with Rochel's permission:
"Every year, I throw a party for my niece's birthday.
Tomorrow, Sophie would have been 11.
My sister once told me that with time and work, grief eventually moves from a constant heart-stabbing cry for what you've lost to an intermittent glow of gratitude for what you were blessed to have.
It has taken years for me to be able to access the embodied knowledge that Sophie's transition from this physical plan, was just that -
Her death was a shape-shifting..."
Listen to the episode to hear the rest.
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If you are interested in working with Rochel, you can reach her via email! Her Instagram is @rochelspang.
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Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast OR buy buying our MERCH at bonfire.com/store/alailpodcast!:::Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at [email protected], or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!:::As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.30 min - Congratulations, and I'm Sorry (A Pregnancy After Loss Meltdown)
So many of you have asked how Alina is doing with her pregnancy after loss (PAL), and the answer is she's awful! and joyful! And terrified! And in love! And exhausted! And many, many, many, many other things.
Listen to this episode to hear allllllll about her PAL experience so far. Sending love and commiseration to all of our PAL moms (or soon-to-be PAL moms, or formerly PAL moms) out there. It's not for the faint of heart.
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Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast OR buy buying our MERCH at bonfire.com/store/alailpodcast!
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at [email protected], or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
:::
As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
31 min - Measuring Time in Love and Loss
What does time even matter, when you've lost someone you love? And what does it matter, when you're WITH someone you love?
A brief chat about Judith's (alive) baby son being "Aiden age" and the meaninglessness of time.
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Things we talk about in this episode:
- Learning to Measure Time in Love and Loss, by Chris Huntington
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Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast OR buy buying our MERCH at bonfire.com/store/alailpodcast!
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at [email protected], or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
:::
As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
21 min - 2025: Can We Get a B+ Year?
It's our annual horoscope episode! Let's see what the stars have in store for us in 2025...
We also talk about Alina's recent "spiritual" massage, and Judith's visit to her astrologer.
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Things we talk about in this episode:
- Happier New Year: 2022's new year episode, where we talk 2021 and 2022 horoscopes
- We Reject Our 2023 Horoscopes: 2023's new year episode, where we talk about our 2022 and 2023 horoscopes
- 2024 Is Going to Be Our Year!: 2024's new year episode, where we talk about our 2023 and 2024 horoscopes
- Judith's 2024 and 2025 yearly horoscopes! (Sagittarius)
- Alina's 2024 and 2025 yearly horoscopes! (Capricorn)
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Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast OR buy buying our MERCH at bonfire.com/store/alailpodcast!
:::
Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at [email protected], or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
:::
As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
50 min - Where are YOU Now? (3 Years of ALAIL)
We're continuing our anniversary celebrations (belated! we got overwhelmed!) by hearing how YOUR lives have changed since you started listening to As Long As I'm Living.
Thank you as always for being a part of this community.
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Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast OR buy buying our MERCH at bonfire.com/store/alailpodcast!
:::
Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at [email protected], or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
:::
As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
23 min - 50 Shades of Gray Hair, an interview about grief-accelerated aging with dermatologist Dr. Lawrence Green
Have you ever wondered why your hair fell out after your baby died? Or why your skin looks gray? Why you feel like grief physically aged you?
It's because it DID... kind of.
Physical appearance might seem like a silly thing to worry about after your baby dies, but not recognizing yourself in the mirror is horribly depressing.
In this episode, we speak to board-certified dermatologist Dr. Lawrence Green about how grief and stress affect your physical health. He also shares with us how to take care of yourself as best you can when you have very little energy, and ways that a dermatologist can help you feel more like YOU again.
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This episode is sponsored in memory of Lily! You can sponsor an episode of As Long As I'm Living here.
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Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast OR buy buying our MERCH at bonfire.com/store/alailpodcast!
:::
Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at [email protected], or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
:::
As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
50 min - Invisible String
It's Aiden's 4th birthday, and for the first time since he was born, Judith is planning to go to work on the day.
It might not sound like a big deal to some (especially those of you who HAD to work on previous birthdays), but it feels like a big deal to us. There are not many things that we keep sacred in our grief, but the birthdays and death anniversaries have (so far) been two of them. Not so anymore.
Big feelings all around... and shout-out to Taylor Swift for all of the songs we reference in this episode that help us talk about these big feelings.
- "It only hurts this much right now, is what I've been thinking the whole time."
- "I love you. It's ruining my life."
- "A lesser woman would've lost hope; a greater woman wouldn't beg. But I look to the sky and say... please."
- "Isn't it just so pretty to think, that all along there was some invisible string tying you to me."
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This episode of As Long As I'm Living is sponsored in memory of Isabel Poppy! We'll post a bit more about Isabel on our Instagram this week.
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Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast OR buy buying our MERCH at bonfire.com/store/alailpodcast!
:::
Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at [email protected], or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
:::
As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
33 min
About As Long As I'm Living
From the publisher's feed
We're long-distance friends and bereaved moms who lost sons to SIDS in 2021. Each Monday, we chat life after infant loss. Raw episodes with lots of tears, hopeful episodes on the good days, episodes to help those supporting a griever, and interviews with loss parents and other experts in grief and trauma.
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We started our podcast to document our journeys toward Happier Ever After and hope to provide support and connection for those who have lost a child to SIDS, stillbirth, TFMR, miscarriage, or any other type of baby loss. We’re sorry you need us, but we’re so glad you’re here!