Finally at the end of this terrible book, Christa and Sarah tackle COUPLE - Eggerichs’ theory of what all women need from men. Not surprising, Eggerichs’ men struggle with providing their spouses with basic human needs, like openness and loyalty, because. well, men, but Eggerichs is here to save their marriages one acronym and anecdote at a time.

Eggerichs reveals some disturbing insights about how ‘men’ tend to view women - controlling, contemptuous, vexatious - but that by overriding these ideas and occasionally giving wives a hug or a birthday card, they too can have successful marriages free of conflict (without turning ‘pink’). Christa and Sarah note that in the evangelical structure set out by Eggerichs, husbands freely receive all of the COUPLE benefits oozing ‘naturally’ from wives (closeness, openness, understanding, peacemaking, loyalty, esteem) in addition to their CHAIRS (conquest, hierarchy, authority, insight, relationship, sexuality) whilst wives struggle to get basic needs met…with no extra bells or whistles. 

Christa and Sarah leap into Part 2 of the terrible marriage book, “Love & Respect” by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, released in 2004. In this episode, they attempt to tackle Eggerich’s CHAIRS prescription for floundering marriages, Conquest, Hierarchy, Authority, Insight, Respect and of course, Sexuality, but find it difficult amidst the many highly-problematic and contradictory ideas underwriting his theory. They try.

This episode focuses on the issues that arise when partners are told to reduce each other to ‘pink’ or ‘blue’, and points at some of the misogynistic underpinnings that keep Eggerichs theory afloat…ones that can lend themselves to abuse, isolation, and stunted growth.

Christa and Sarah return to an evangelical favourite: bad marriage books. Whether this journey continues on to additional bad marriage books, nobody knows, but for now they start with discussing Dr. Emerson Eggerich’s much-adored “Love & Respect” 2004 release which they both had read (and accepted) prior to marriage.

This episode delves into Dr. Emerson’s theory about love and respect that he claims is god-revealed, how women and men can save their marriages if they accept their essentialist roles and deepest (differing) needs, the overarching themes of the book, and the first introductory chapters. If you are not in favour of rants about complementarianism and essentialist tropes, these episodes are not for you.

Christa and Sarah take an uncomfortable deep dive into the Adam and Eve story and the underlying teachings perpetuated regarding obedience, purity, punishment, and forgiveness.

They have an honest discussion about deep theological flaws and what the Eden story - as told by evangelicalism - reveals about God’s character, and discuss what true justice and an actually loving framework should have looked like for God’s children.

Not wanting to miss out on discussing the impacts of Hillsong’s far-reaching culture and mega-church experiences in general, Christa and Sarah share their thoughts on FX’s “The Secrets of Hillsong” documentary and the undergirding values perpetuated by mega-church structures.

From Christa’s own 10-year stint in a mega-church, to looking at broader cultural norms that make “mega” feel natural to modern evangelicals, they question the lack of discernment, and poke at the drivers of mega-ministries: endless growth, expansionism, and monoculture.

Sarah and Christa continue the discussion based on the Religious Trauma Syndrome symptoms outlined by Dr. Marlene Winell’s three articles discussed on the previous episodes ( https://www.journeyfree.org/articles-manual/).

From struggling with being authentic and revealing her actual self to having difficulties relating to those outside the church, Christa discusses her battles with feeling disconnected and disempowered in certain areas of her life. She outlines how these symptoms impede everything from friendships to making future plans, and how an underdeveloped sense of self has impacted her relationships and sexuality.

Sarah and Christa expand on the Religious Trauma Syndrome symptoms outlined by Dr. Marlene Winell’s three articles discussed on the previous episodes ( https://www.journeyfree.org/articles-manual/).

Sarah discusses the emotional, relational, and physical impacts of the doctrine of original sin and being taught to distrust “the flesh”, police emotions, quarantine thoughts, reject doubts, and continually be vigilant against Satan, the “prowling lion”. She also addresses the lack of tools believers often receive when having to face complex and nuanced real-life situations and the anxiety this can create when trying to navigate both being authentic and doing what is “right” before God.

Christa and Sarah discuss Dr. Marlene Winell’s three articles on Religious Trauma Syndrome (RTS), the term which she coined ( https://www.journeyfree.org/articles-manual/).

They discuss the very real impacts that leaving a high-demand religion has on a person - socially, somatically, emotionally, and cognitively - and some of the related symptoms that manifest both while coping within rigid belief systems and when attempting to leave.

Often framed by the fear of ultimate loss of community and rejection by God, people questioning their faith have extreme difficulty navigating what lies beyond due to the lack of tools and deep fear of getting it all wrong.

Christa and Sarah discuss intergenerational trauma and the difficulty of addressing harmful interpretations and applications of scripture. When God is viewed as “never changing”, people can equate this constancy as meaning that their human interpretations of scripture and God ought not to change as well. When better approaches are dismissed for the sake of keeping the doctrine and community borders static and defined, God becomes manageable…but tiny. However, this tiny God and rigid interpretations ensure that harmful and traumatic applications of scriptures and ideas are perpetuated and healing becomes difficult.

Christa and Sarah give a “brief” overview of their lives. They discuss personal experiences, stories, key events, and throw in a few theological quandaries they had along the way.