ADHD or life? - A couples perspective!

Is it ADHD or selective deafness?


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New episode out now on ADHD or Life – A Couple’s Perspective 🎙️ and this week we’re asking a question that causes so many arguments in ADHD relationships…
Is it tuning out? Is it inattention? Is it disrespect? Is it nervous system overload?

We set up the core question: when someone doesn’t respond, didn’t register what you said, or says “I didn’t hear you”… is that ADHD, or are they choosing not to listen?

- What ADHD actually does to listening and why it’s not as simple as “not trying”
- Attention is interest-based, not importance-based (and why that’s so hard to explain without sounding rude)
- Working memory gaps and the classic “it went in… then vanished”
- Hyperfocus, task switching, and why being mid-task can make words feel like background noise
- How it feels for the non-ADHD partner when it keeps happening
Donna’s side: the common interpretations like “you don’t care what I say” and why it stings so much
- How it can trigger rejection, invisibility, and feeling disrespected, even when that’s not the intention
- When it might be ADHD… and when it might be avoidance
- Does “I didn’t hear you” ever become a shutdown tool in conflict?
- What helps, what makes it worse, and how to talk about it without it turning into a blame game

Five minute moans:
Donna is not happy with Adam leaving his mugs in the weirdest places
Adam is not happy with Donna shouting at his driving

And as always, we finish with our listeners’ good, bad and ugly stories.
Listen on Spotify:

https://open.spotify.com/show/46i0iGiwmgvFrlOzoW2SnS

https://www.adhdorlife.com
Join the Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdrelationshipsunfiltered

ADHD #SelectiveDeafness #ADHDRelationships #CouplesPodcast #AdultADHD #ADHDUK #Neurodiversity #Neurodivergent #Inattention #ExecutiveDysfunction #WorkingMemory #Hyperfocus #TaskSwitching #ADHDCommunication #RelationshipCommunication #EmotionalValidation #RejectionSensitivity #RSD #MentalLoad #NervousSystem #Overwhelm #Shutdown #Avoidance #ConflictInRelationships #RealLifeADHD #ADHDPodcast #NeurodiverseCouples #ADHDPartner #RelationshipAdvice

Tune in every week for more conversations and revelations! Send your good, bad and ugly stories to [email protected].

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ADHD or life? - A couples perspective!By Adam and Donna