Send us Fan Mail

We’ve been away for a few weeks… but we’re back 🎙️ and we’re catching up on what we’ve been up to (cars, weddings, and the usual ADHD-filled chaos).

But the big news is this: Adam has finally started medication. So we thought it was only right to dedicate this whole episode to what it’s actually been like so far, in real life, in real time, from both sides of the relationship.

We chat about what he thought would change, what his internal experience has been like so far, and whether his brain actually feels different day to day. We also look at how medication might be affecting things like out of sight out of mind and selective deafness, plus motivation, starting tasks, switching tasks, and whether anything feels easier yet. Then we get into the relationship side of it all, including whether the dynamic between Adam and Donna feels any different, how Donna’s found it living alongside the changes, and the big question of placebo vs real difference — what’s genuinely shifting and what’s still exactly the same.

Five minute moans:

• Donna is calling out Adam’s dramatic behaviour
• Adam has TWO moans this week… is that even allowed?

And as always, we finish with your good, bad and ugly stories.

ADHD #ADHDMedication #ADHDMedicated #AdultADHD #ADHDUK #ADHDPodcast #Neurodiversity #Neurodivergent #ADHDRelationships #CouplesPodcast #Titration #LateDiagnosis #ExecutiveDysfunction #Motivation #Focus #EmotionalRegulation #RSD #OutOfSightOutOfMind #SelectiveDeafness #RelationshipDynamics #MentalHealth #RealLifeADHD #ADHDJourney #ADHDSupport #NeurodiverseCouples #ADHDCopingStrategies

Listen on Spotify:

https://open.spotify.com/show/46i0iGiwmgvFrlOzoW2SnS

Watch on YouTube:

https://youtu.be/w04jCjaobQU 

More on our website:

https://www.adhdorlife.com

Join the Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdrelationshipsunfiltered

Tune in every week for more conversations and revelations! Send your good, bad and ugly stories to [email protected].

Like and Subscribe to see our faces here: http://www.youtube.com/@ADHDorLifepod

Follow us on Tik Tok for extra snippits and more:
https://www.tiktok.com/@adhdorlifepod

Follow us on Instagram for up to date info:
https://www.instagram.com/adhdorlifepod/

Join us on X to explore conversations:
https://x.com/adhdorlifepod

Send us Fan Mail

New episode out now on ADHD or Life – A Couple’s Perspective 🎙️ and this week we’re doing an Ask Us Anything, answering your questions for both Adam and Donna.

We kick off with Adam becoming “TikTok guy” this week. He’s been deep in ADHD TikTok and now he’s talking about algorithms and statistics like it’s his full-time job. We’ve also noticed we’ve got loads of American viewers/listeners (comment where you’re from) and apparently we’re big in Japan this week too.

Also, did you know you can send us a text if you find the button? It goes straight to Adam’s phone… and he absolutely loves it.

Listen on Spotify:  
https://open.spotify.com/show/46i0iGiwmgvFrlOzoW2SnS  

Watch on YouTube:  
https://youtu.be/Y9dEizP7gTg  

More on our website:  
https://www.adhdorlife.com  

Join the Facebook group:  
https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdrelationshipsunfiltered  

What we answer in this episode:
- Real-time arguments, mirroring, communication, instigation and assumptions
- Did Adam really put Donna out of the car? (we clear this up… sort of)
- The long-term effects of living as a couple with ADHD
- What does Adam do that triggers Donna? (there’s more than one)
- Do we ever get tired of talking about ADHD?
- The biggest ADHD moments in our relationship
- Our chaotic life highlights (radio shows and popcorn machines included)
- Is ADHD ever used as a shield?
- What makes Adam blush?
- Is the podcast over? (we answer this properly)
- Self-awareness and whether it’s helped or made things more annoying
- Has Donna turned into the family manager?
- What makes each other feel safe?
- Missing the beginning of the relationship (we no longer go to the casino at 4am… tragic)
- Work vs family life, masking, and how different we are depending on the setting
- Expectations on the neurotypical partner and the constant awareness piece
- Can the neurotypical person become the parent? (Donna’s teacher voice makes an appearance)
- Brutal truths about apologies and what actually counts as a real one

If you’ve got a question for the next Ask Us Anything, send it in and we’ll add it to the list.

ADHD #AskUsAnything #ADHDPodcast #ADHDRelationships #CouplesPodcast #AdultADHD #ADHDUK #Neurodiversity #Neurodivergent #NeurotypicalPartner #CommunicationInRelationships #RelationshipArguments #RSD #EmotionalRegulation #Masking #FamilyManager #MentalLoad #ExecutiveDysfunction #ADHDTikTok #Algorithms #LongTermRelationships #MarriageAndADHD #RealLifeADHD #SelfAwareness #Apologies #ConflictResolution #NeurodiverseCouples #ADHDLife

Tune in every week for more conversations and revelations! Send your good, bad and ugly stories to [email protected].

Like and Subscribe to see our faces here: http://www.youtube.com/@ADHDorLifepod

Follow us on Tik Tok for extra snippits and more:
https://www.tiktok.com/@adhdorlifepod

Follow us on Instagram for up to date info:
https://www.instagram.com/adhdorlifepod/

Join us on X to explore conversations:
https://x.com/adhdorlifepod

Send us Fan Mail

New episode out now on ADHD or Life – A Couple’s Perspective 🎙️ and this week we’re asking a question that causes so many arguments in ADHD relationships…
Is it tuning out? Is it inattention? Is it disrespect? Is it nervous system overload?

We set up the core question: when someone doesn’t respond, didn’t register what you said, or says “I didn’t hear you”… is that ADHD, or are they choosing not to listen?

- What ADHD actually does to listening and why it’s not as simple as “not trying”
- Attention is interest-based, not importance-based (and why that’s so hard to explain without sounding rude)
- Working memory gaps and the classic “it went in… then vanished”
- Hyperfocus, task switching, and why being mid-task can make words feel like background noise
- How it feels for the non-ADHD partner when it keeps happening
Donna’s side: the common interpretations like “you don’t care what I say” and why it stings so much
- How it can trigger rejection, invisibility, and feeling disrespected, even when that’s not the intention
- When it might be ADHD… and when it might be avoidance
- Does “I didn’t hear you” ever become a shutdown tool in conflict?
- What helps, what makes it worse, and how to talk about it without it turning into a blame game

Five minute moans:
Donna is not happy with Adam leaving his mugs in the weirdest places
Adam is not happy with Donna shouting at his driving

And as always, we finish with our listeners’ good, bad and ugly stories.
Listen on Spotify:

https://open.spotify.com/show/46i0iGiwmgvFrlOzoW2SnS

https://www.adhdorlife.com
Join the Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdrelationshipsunfiltered

ADHD #SelectiveDeafness #ADHDRelationships #CouplesPodcast #AdultADHD #ADHDUK #Neurodiversity #Neurodivergent #Inattention #ExecutiveDysfunction #WorkingMemory #Hyperfocus #TaskSwitching #ADHDCommunication #RelationshipCommunication #EmotionalValidation #RejectionSensitivity #RSD #MentalLoad #NervousSystem #Overwhelm #Shutdown #Avoidance #ConflictInRelationships #RealLifeADHD #ADHDPodcast #NeurodiverseCouples #ADHDPartner #RelationshipAdvice

Tune in every week for more conversations and revelations! Send your good, bad and ugly stories to [email protected].

Like and Subscribe to see our faces here: http://www.youtube.com/@ADHDorLifepod

Follow us on Tik Tok for extra snippits and more:
https://www.tiktok.com/@adhdorlifepod

Follow us on Instagram for up to date info:
https://www.instagram.com/adhdorlifepod/

Join us on X to explore conversations:
https://x.com/adhdorlifepod

Send us Fan Mail

Is it ADHD or Out of sight out of mind?

New episode out now on ADHD or Life – A Couple’s Perspective 🎙️ This week we’re talking about one of the most frustrating (and honestly, relationship-testing) ADHD things going… out of sight, out of mind.

Because it’s not just “oops I forgot” — it can look like forgotten texts, not noticing the bin overflowing, forgetting important dates, not reaching out to friends and family, and leaving washing in the washer… for far too long (much to Donna’s dismay!).

Listen on Spotify:
https://open.spotify.com/show/46i0iGiwmgvFrlOzoW2SnS

Watch on YouTube:
https://youtu.be/NfiS7m1fOco

More on our website:
https://www.adhdorlife.com

Join the Facebook group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdrelationshipsunfiltered

What we cover in this episode:

• What “out of sight, out of mind” actually means in ADHD (and why it’s not the same as not caring)
• Forgotten texts and the accidental silence that can make people feel ignored
• The bin that somehow becomes invisible until it’s basically a landmark
• Forgetting important dates and how that lands emotionally in a relationship
• Not reaching out to friends and family, even when you love them loads
• The washing left in the washer (and the chaos that follows)
• How this shows up in our relationship: communication, emotional connection, household stuff, and the mental load
• The emotional impact on both partners: the ADHD partner feeling shame and pressure, and the other partner feeling lonely, unimportant, or like they have to carry everything
• Is it ADHD or is it avoidance? We try to tease apart when it’s likely ADHD brain doing ADHD brain things, and when it might be avoidance (and what to do next)
• What helps, what doesn’t, and how we try to meet in the middle without it turning into a blame-fest

Five minute moans:

• Donna is raging about the way Adam handles the bread
• Adam gets the heebie jeebies over Donna and her dishes-in-the-sink antics

And as always, we finish with our listeners’ good, bad and ugly stories — thank you for sending them in. They make us feel seen, and they’ll definitely make you feel less alone too.

ADHD #OutOfSightOutOfMind #ADHDRelationships #CouplesPodcast #AdultADHD #ADHDUK #Neurodiversity #Neurodivergent #ExecutiveDysfunction #ADHDCommunication #EmotionalConnection #MentalLoad #HouseholdMentalLoad #ADHDAndMarriage #ADHDInRelationships #ObjectPermanence #ADHDForgetfulness #TimeBlindness #ADHDShame #RSD #RelationshipAdvice #RealLifeADHD #ADHDPartner #NeurodiverseCouples #ADHDPodcast #ADHDLife #ADHDCopingStrategies #ADHDStruggles

Tune in every week for more conversations and revelations! Send your good, bad and ugly stories to [email protected].

Like and Subscribe to see our faces here: http://www.youtube.com/@ADHDorLifepod

Follow us on Tik Tok for extra snippits and more:
https://www.tiktok.com/@adhdorlifepod

Follow us on Instagram for up to date info:
https://www.instagram.com/adhdorlifepod/

Join us on X to explore conversations:
https://x.com/adhdorlifepod

Send us Fan Mail

Is it ADHD or Life? Special guest – Suzi Payton

New episode out now on ADHD or Life – A Couple’s Perspective 🎙️ and this week we’re joined by the brilliant Suzi Payton (speaker, comedian, author and confidence coach). Suzi’s an AuDHDer who also lives with Tourette’s and OCD, and she brings a proper mix of honesty, humour and real-life experience to everything she does. She helps neurodivergent people build confidence, unmask, and quieten the inner critic (so RSD hits less often), and she also runs ADHD The Experience – an event made by and for neurodivergent folks.

Listen on Spotify:
https://open.spotify.com/show/46i0iGiwmgvFrlOzoW2SnS
Watch on YouTube:
https://youtu.be/L6SDb2j2fe4

Suzi Payton links:
Website: https://www.suzipayton.com
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/suzi-payton-a9b68b25/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@suzipaytonaudhdcomedian
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@suzipayton
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/suzipayton_audhdspeaker.comedy/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/suzipaytonadhd
Suzi’s podcast:
Adventures with ADHD: https://open.spotify.com/show/4MCLGSmXIul1B1DcOEbsTs?si=ee54fbf833d5429a
Suzi’s book:
Lost & Now Found (with Kate Laine-Toner): https://amzn.eu/d/4kEzrUz

What we talk about in this episode:
Suzi’s journey from messy bedrooms, school struggles, low self-esteem and confidence… to teaching for 17 years
Planning difficulties, coping strategies, and the research rabbit holes before diagnosis
Diagnosis day and what changed internally afterwards
Imposter syndrome, and why it can still stick around even when you’re doing well
Forgiveness, compassion, and why self-compassion is not optional (even when your brain says it is)
ADHD strengths and “rewiring” the way you see yourself
Medication pros and cons, plus other strategies (including no alcohol)
Comedy: how Suzi got into it, improv, dopamine hits, and neurodivergent workshops
Should Adam try improv? (we debate it properly)
How ADHD impacts comedy and performing
The massive question: why is it easier to speak to 200 people on a stage than do 1-to-1 face to face?
Confidence, beliefs, personal development, and the horror of networking events
ADHD tax, the pain of being late, and why sleep matters more than we want it to
RSD and public speaking, and how Suzi handles it
Suzi’s advice to her younger self, plus her good, bad and ugly

Join us / follow us:
Website: https://www.adhdorlife.com
Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdrelationshipsunfiltered
Instagram: @adhdorlifepod
TikTok: @adhdorlifepod
Twitter/X: @adhdorlifepod
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@ADHDorLifepod
#podcast #adhders #AuDHD #AutisticAdults #LateDiagnosis #Neurodivergent #Neurodiversity #ADHDPodcast #ADHDWomen #ADHDConfidence #RSD #RejectionSensitiveDysphoria #Tourettessyndrome #OCD #ImposterSyndrome #SelfCompassion #Unmasking #ADHDMedication #ADHDStrategies #ADHDStrengths #ADHDComedy #ImprovComedy #PublicSpeaking #NetworkingAnxiety #ADHDTax #ExecutiveDysfuncti

Tune in every week for more conversations and revelations! Send your good, bad and ugly stories to [email protected].

Like and Subscribe to see our faces here: http://www.youtube.com/@ADHDorLifepod

Follow us on Tik Tok for extra snippits and more:
https://www.tiktok.com/@adhdorlifepod

Follow us on Instagram for up to date info:
https://www.instagram.com/adhdorlifepod/

Join us on X to explore conversations:
https://x.com/adhdorlifepod

Send us Fan Mail

New episode out now on ADHD or Life – A Couple’s Perspective 🎙️ This week Adam’s got his clipboard back (yes, really) and we’re asking the big question: is this ADHD… or is Adam just a full-blown control freak?

We kick off with an update on Adam’s titration journey: more paperwork, more waiting, and the classic feeling of being stuck in the world’s slowest queue.

Watch on YouTube (this episode):
https://youtu.be/FXBZEFQBccs

Join the Facebook group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdrelationshipsunfiltered

What we cover in this episode:

• Does everything need to be perfect… or is it really fear of being judged?
• Work is where Adam’s control issues hit hardest: everything has to be perfect or “people will be talking about him”.
• Adam cannot cope with the responsibility of people management. He’s even given up jobs because he couldn’t handle the pressure. Is this ADHD, anxiety, perfectionism… or all of the above?
• Do recovery meetings help with accepting you can’t control what you can’t control?
• Sudden mood swings, stress spikes, and whether RSD plays a part.
• Donna asks the important question: why did Adam have zero control over the wedding… but wants control over everything else?
• Driving chat: is Adam’s driving really that bad? Can you stall a diesel car? Is insisting on driving everywhere a control thing?
• A couple’s perspective: Adam’s control is fear-based, and Donna’s version is more like “I’ll just do it myself because it’s easier.”
• Donna hates “work Adam”. We talk about the time Adam took a tantrum at a party because Donna burnt the popcorn. Was he out of order?
• We’ve discovered Adam can’t be a boss. We genuinely want to know: how do people with ADHD manage being a boss? Send your tips!
• Plot twist: Adam has zero control at home. Same brain, different costume.
• Reputation, all-or-nothing thinking, and “if I can’t do it properly, I won’t do it.”
• “I would phone a man.” (Also turns out Adam wasn’t a great DJ… we unpack that too.)
• Work Adam = control freak. Home Adam = couldn’t be more laid back. Make it make sense.

5 Minute Moans:

• Donna goes mad about bin bags (and honestly, fair).
• Adam makes an apology over wedding pictures.

We finish with listeners’ good, bad and ugly stories, and this week medication comes into the conversation too. We’re so grateful for the stories you send in — keep them coming.

#ADHDPodcast #AdultADHD #ADHDUK #ADHDAndAnxiety #ADHDPerfectionism #Perfectionism #PeoplePleasing #RSD #RejectionSensitiveDysphoria #ControlFreak #MentalHealth #ADHDRelationships #NeurodiverseCouples #ExecutiveDysfunction #Overthinking #Procrastination #AllOrNothingThinking #ADHDAtWork #WorkStress #PeopleManagement #ADHDMedication #Titration #RealLifeADHD #CouplesPodcast #Neurodiversity #Neurodivergent #ParentingWithADHD

Tune in every week for more conversations and revelations! Send your good, bad and ugly stories to [email protected].

Like and Subscribe to see our faces here: http://www.youtube.com/@ADHDorLifepod

Follow us on Tik Tok for extra snippits and more:
https://www.tiktok.com/@adhdorlifepod

Follow us on Instagram for up to date info:
https://www.instagram.com/adhdorlifepod/

Join us on X to explore conversations:
https://x.com/adhdorlifepod

Send us Fan Mail

Is it ADHD or does everyone spend it like Beckham?

New episode out now on ADHD or Life – A Couple’s Perspective 🎙️ and this one is a proper funny, real-life reflection of what it’s like being a couple living with ADHD. No scripts, no pretending we’ve got it all together… just an honest chat that somehow turns into Amazon parcels, condensed milk, and a popcorn machine scandal.

Listen on Spotify:
https://open.spotify.com/show/46i0iGiwmgvFrlOzoW2SnS

Watch on YouTube (this episode):
https://youtu.be/ohwOVdtrWLw

More on our website:
https://www.adhdorlife.com

Spacegoods (20% off):
https://www.spacegoods.com/ADHDORLIFE20

What we cover in this episode:

• We start with Adam’s strong feelings about the episode title (he hates it… which obviously makes it funnier).
• Quick catch-up on the week: Adam is still on Spacegoods, plus he’s added Lions Mane supplements and reckons he’s felt a big difference… or is it placebo? (We discuss.)
• Also: Adam’s unhealthy relationship with condensed milk. Yes, it’s a thing.

Main topic: impulsive spending

• Amazon parcels turning up like it’s Christmas every day.
• Adam’s dream car… the 15-year-old Fiat Doblo. The kids are not impressed.
• Business expenses and “dodgy dealings” to buy a popcorn machine… which Adam then broke and had to replace the night before the party. Stress levels: biblical.
• Adam’s official announcement: do not use eBay.
• Is it all the dopamine of shiny new things? Is impulsivity massive in ADHD?
• Does research lead to the right purchase… or is the final decision always impulsive anyway?
• Is it exciting or does it drive Donna mad? (Spoiler: both.)
• Temu chat, bargain dopamine hits, and flat pack drama.
• Should Adam be allowed to online shop unsupervised? Should you buy brand new? Should “future me will figure it out” be banned as a lifestyle?
• Out of sight, out of mind… especially with credit cards.
• Should Adam set up an ADHD hobby swap shop? (Because the hobby graveyard is real.)
• Obsessing over purchases: scouring Facebook Marketplace for days and weeks like it’s a second job.
• The shame cycle (massive), and the comedown after the excitement wears off.
• Does Donna feel betrayed… or is she an enabler? And will any bad purchases ever be returned? (Don’t be silly.)
• Adam and Donna make a deal. Also: does anyone want to buy a popcorn machine?
• The other side: money worries, relationship stress, and whether it’s all “fun” when the bills land.
• Is Donna the responsible one… or does she spend just as much, just on boring family stuff?
• Has one-click buying made everyone worse? Does anyone wait more than one day for delivery now?
• Does social media make impulsive spending worse? Is it emotional spending? Should Adam buy a tent? (This becomes a real question.)

Tune in every week for more conversations and revelations! Send your good, bad and ugly stories to [email protected].

Like and Subscribe to see our faces here: http://www.youtube.com/@ADHDorLifepod

Follow us on Tik Tok for extra snippits and more:
https://www.tiktok.com/@adhdorlifepod

Follow us on Instagram for up to date info:
https://www.instagram.com/adhdorlifepod/

Join us on X to explore conversations:
https://x.com/adhdorlifepod

Send us Fan Mail

Is it ADHD or just Blue Monday?

New episode out now on ADHD or Life – A Couple’s Perspective 🎙️ We’re talking Blue Monday, why this time of year can feel heavier, and why ADHD can make it hit different (and harder).

Before we get into the doom and gloom… we start with @Spacegoods!  It’s had Adam absolutely BUZZING for a week and operating at a level of energy that frankly isn’t available in standard retail.

Get 20% off Spacegoods here:  
https://www.spacegoods.com/ADHDORLIFE20  

What we cover in this episode:
- Blue Monday: real thing, marketing thing, or “either way I feel a bit grim”?
- Why ADHD can make January feel like wading through fog.
- Adam’s hyperfixations this week: we went to see Song Sung Blue (Neil Diamond)… and now Adam is fully convinced he needs to start a Neil Diamond tribute band.
- But what’s the difference between an ADHD hyperfixation and Donna’s long-standing obsession with Ronan Keating… the one that literally got her in the newspaper? (Yes, really.)
- Is it sadness… or are we just absolutely knackered?
- Why this time of year can be so rough.
- “Overstimulated but underwhelmed” — the most ADHD sentence ever.
- Adam thinks work helps. Donna’s quietly enjoying him having a few nights off… 
- What song made Donna cry on the way to the podcast? (It’s a moment.)
- The underrated power of having a day off.
- Practical stuff that helps when you’re in the mud: starting your day fresh at ANY time, the 2-minute rule, and getting out of shame spirals.
- Adam reveals his secret to avoiding New Year’s resolution shame.
- Do you stop caring with age? Should you stop worrying what people think?
- Donna’s perspective (as always: calm, neuronormal, and mildly baffled by Adam).
- And yes… Emmerdale gets a mention. Obviously.

5 Minute Moans:
- Adam’s driving… and the important question: does ADHD control the windscreen wipers? Because the wiper decisions being made are NOT neurotypical.
- Donna’s fashion choices: is it a cute co-ord… or is it giving cheap tracksuit? (We discuss. Thoroughly.)

We finish with our listeners’ good, bad and ugly stories — and we’re genuinely grateful for every one. Keep them coming, because they make this podcast what it is.

Listen on Spotify:  
https://open.spotify.com/show/46i0iGiwmgvFrlOzoW2SnS  

Watch on YouTube (this episode):  
https://youtu.be/28sWqfpkG8A  

YouTube channel:  
https://www.youtube.com/@ADHDorLifepod  

More on our website:  
https://www.adhdorlife.com  

Join the Facebook group:  
https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdrelationshipsunfiltered  

Follow us:  
Instagram / TikTok / Twitter/X: @adhdorlifepod  

#ADHDPodcast #BlueMonday #JanuaryBlues #ADHDMentalHealth #ADHDAndDepression #ADHDAndAnxiety #AdultADHD #ADHDUK #Neurodiversity #Neurodivergent #ExecutiveDysfunction #ADHDParalysis #ADHDBurnout #LowDopamine #EmotionalRegulation #ADHDHyperfixation #SeasonalDepression #WinterBlues #ShameSpiral #TwoMinuteRule #ADHDMotivation #ADHDRelationships #NeurodiverseC

Tune in every week for more conversations and revelations! Send your good, bad and ugly stories to [email protected].

Like and Subscribe to see our faces here: http://www.youtube.com/@ADHDorLifepod

Follow us on Tik Tok for extra snippits and more:
https://www.tiktok.com/@adhdorlifepod

Follow us on Instagram for up to date info:
https://www.instagram.com/adhdorlifepod/

Join us on X to explore conversations:
https://x.com/adhdorlifepod

Send us Fan Mail

This week on ADHD or Life – A Couple’s Perspective, we’re back on the imposter syndrome topic… but this time we’re going full ADHD with it. Because imposter syndrome on its own is rough — but add ADHD, masking, late diagnosis, and a lifetime of being misunderstood… and it turns into a whole different beast.

Episode Highlights:

• Imposter syndrome through an ADHD lens: that fear you’re “faking it”, being a fraud, and getting found out.
• The weird ADHD brain twist: when you have a good day, it can feel like “proof” you were never struggling in the first place.
• Diagnosis can actually make the imposter louder — because once ADHD has a name, you start replaying everything and doubting yourself even more.
• Years of being told you’re lazy, dramatic, too sensitive, too much… it sticks. And it makes you question your own reality.
• The “other people have it worse” trap — and how it shuts down your own needs before you’ve even admitted them.
• Masking: if you’ve hidden the struggle for long enough, you start believing the mask is the real you… and then you feel like a fraud when you finally admit you’re not coping.
• A good day doesn’t cancel a hard life. ADHD is patterns over time — not one productive afternoon where you answered emails and remembered your keys.
• Starting a podcast seriously upped the imposter syndrome ante: “Who am I to even talk about this?”
• And the reminder we keep coming back to: we’re not experts — we’re just sharing our experiences, honestly, in the hope it helps someone feel less alone.

What might actually help (without pretending it’s a magic fix):

• Naming it when it shows up (because sometimes just clocking it helps)
• Catching the “proof” thoughts and challenging them (“one good day doesn’t erase years of struggle”)
• Being kinder to yourself than you’d ever be to someone else
• Remembering ADHD is real, even when you’re functioning

We also have listener good, bad and ugly stories — and this week they’re imposter syndrome specials. They’re relatable, hilarious, painful, and basically proof that this isn’t just a “you” thing.

#ADHDPodcast #ImposterSyndrome #ADHDAndImposterSyndrome #LateDiagnosisADHD #ADHDMasking #Neurodiversity #Neurodivergent #ADHDLife #ExecutiveDysfunction #EmotionalRegulation #ADHDSelfDoubt #SelfDoubt #MentalHealth #ADHDMentalHealth #RSD #RejectionSensitiveDysphoria #ADHDCommunity #ADHDAwareness #SelfCompassion #Mindset #AnxietyAndADHD #RealLifeADHD #CouplesPodcast #UKPodcast #AdultADHD #ADHDWomen #ADHDMen #ADHDCopingStrategies

Join us / follow us:
Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdrelationshipsunfiltered 

Instagram: @adhdorlifepod
TikTok: @adhdorlifepod
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@ADHDorLifepod

Tune in every week for more conversations and revelations! Send your good, bad and ugly stories to [email protected].

Like and Subscribe to see our faces here: http://www.youtube.com/@ADHDorLifepod

Follow us on Tik Tok for extra snippits and more:
https://www.tiktok.com/@adhdorlifepod

Follow us on Instagram for up to date info:
https://www.instagram.com/adhdorlifepod/

Join us on X to explore conversations:
https://x.com/adhdorlifepod

Send us Fan Mail

New episode out now! 🎙️ This week on ADHD or Life – A Couple’s Perspective, Adam is absolutely pumped on coffee and ready to go… and Donna brings the topic because lately Adam’s been dealing with a BIG one: imposter syndrome.

After a huge magic show at Craig Tara in Ayr (a proper dream venue for Adam), the excitement quickly turned into that familiar feeling of “Who do I think I am?” and “They’re going to realise I’m not good enough.” So… is it ADHD, is it imposter syndrome, or is it just life doing what life does best?

Listen on Spotify:  
https://open.spotify.com/show/46i0iGiwmgvFrlOzoW2SnS  

Watch on YouTube (this episode):  
https://youtu.be/abglweUxMys  

More on our website:  
https://www.adhdorlife.com  

Episode Highlights:
- What is imposter syndrome really — and does it only show up at work, or can it creep into every part of life? (Could it literally be Adam’s middle name?)  
- The Craig Tara magic gig: Adam books the show… then immediately thinks he’s not good enough. Excitement → instant regret → worry spiral.  
- Working well under pressure… and also leaving everything to the last minute (because of course).  
- Adam’s first instinct: spend a fortune on new tricks. Second instinct: leave practising until the last possible second. Classic.  
- That horrible feeling that things are “never going to happen” or that you don’t deserve the good stuff when it finally does.  
- Why imposter syndrome feels like torture: knowing something rationally, but not being able to feel it in the moment.  
- Starting a new job, not feeling like you belong, feeling like you’re on trial, feeling like you’re about to be “found out.”  
- Adam vs Donna: how it shows up differently, including Donna’s experiences when she was a singer.  
- When does the feeling leave — is it imposter syndrome, or is it just nerves?  
- Is imposter syndrome like a man in a dark cloak sat on your shoulder like a traitor, whispering nonsense into your ear?  
- Interacting with peers but feeling like you’re not on the same level… and how it drains your confidence.  
- Networking meetings, social awkwardness, and the fact none of it feels rational. If only you could pause life like a movie and have a word with yourself.  
- Adam’s shocking confession: he gets imposter syndrome at the BARBERS. (Yes, really.) Do they judge him for having no hair? We unpack it.  
- Ego states, putting yourself down, feeling inferior, and forgetting past wins like they never happened.  
- Can you actually enjoy good experiences instead of feeling sick about them? Should we all just be kinder to ourselves?  
- Strategies that actually help: name it, challenge the thoughts, and give yourself a proper confidence talk (even if it feels cringe).

**5 Minute Moans:**
- Why won’t Adam duet with Donna?  
- And why doesn’t Donna care when Adam nearly dies? Did he faint? (You’ll have to listen…)

We wrap up with listeners’ good, bad and ugly stories — and honestly, they’re so good it’s pushed us into **Part 2 next week**: *Imposter Syndrome

Tune in every week for more conversations and revelations! Send your good, bad and ugly stories to [email protected].

Like and Subscribe to see our faces here: http://www.youtube.com/@ADHDorLifepod

Follow us on Tik Tok for extra snippits and more:
https://www.tiktok.com/@adhdorlifepod

Follow us on Instagram for up to date info:
https://www.instagram.com/adhdorlifepod/

Join us on X to explore conversations:
https://x.com/adhdorlifepod