Sometimes, we set our expectations really high and we never get what we expected and we end up disappointed. Other times, we set our expectations really low and we get what we expected and we end up disappointed.  As a single person, how should you set your expectations when it comes to who you choose to go out with?

Make Them Your Expectations

Let me begin by saying, as I said in a prior post, that your expectations should be genuinely yours.

Yes, you should give some consideration to the expectations of the people around you. Of course, when I say that, I mean carefully chosen people. Not everyone’s input is equally valuable. Only consider the opinions of people who are happily married or happily single. You don’t need input from people who are constantly disgruntled, complaining, and blaming other people and circumstances for their unhappiness. Look at their relationships before you take relationship advice from them.

You do need input from quality sources, but, in the end, you need to work through what you believe and what you want out of life and formulate your own expectations.

See my post: Manage Your Expectations Part 1See my post: Thrive as a Single | Know Your Why 

Lower Your Expectations

Next, I want you to realize that in some ways your expectations are too high. You need to lower them.

Tall, Dark, and Handsome

Ladies, look around you. How many guys do you see that bear any resemblance to your favorite actor, musician, or pop culture icon? Probably none, unless your favorite celebrity is Danny DeVito or Homer Simpson, in that case, you may see several. When it comes to height, looks, and physique, unless you’re often mistaken for a supermodel, you may have to lower your expectations, at least a bit.

Supermodels and Actresses

Guys, you know where this is headed, right? Unless you’re often mistaken for Chris Hemsworth or Chris Evans, you may have to lower your expectations a tad. Natalie Portman and Gal Gadot are probably already spoken for. And, I don’t mean to offend you, but there just aren’t that many women who look like them who are looking for someone who looks like you.

Porches and BMWs

You may also have to adjust your expectations when it comes to money. Look around you. How many Porches, BMWs, Jaguars, and other such luxury brand automobiles do you see on the road? Probably not that many. That’s because only a small percentage of people can afford them. Most people cannot. There is a reason they are called one-percenters – because ninety-nine percent of us can’t afford such extravagances.

But, I Need….

And, lastly, if you assume someone can swoop in and meet all of your physical, financial, emotional, intellectual, and sexual needs, you definitely need to lower your expectations.

I feel like I mention this at least every other week in some form or fashion, but A – no one can meet all of your needs. It is impossible. And B – starting a relationship from a position of neediness almost always ends badly. Starting a relationship from a position of strength, confidence, and emotional wholeness works a lot better.

Raise Your Expectations