David Desteno is a Professor of Psychology at Northeastern University where he directs the social immersions group. David’s research examines the mechanisms of the mind that shape vice and virtue, and his work continually reveals that human moral behaviour is much more variable than most would predict. He’s regularly featured in the media, including the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, and the Harvard Business Review to name just a few. David is the author of several books including Emotional Success, The Truth about Trust, and the co-author of the Wall Street Journal’s spotlight psychology best seller, Out of Character.

In today’s episode David shares his research on self-control and why harnessing social emotions – like gratitude, compassion and pride – can be an effective and energizing way to improve our levels of grit.

Connect with David Desteno:

Website: www.davedesteno.com

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You’ll Learn:

• [01:56] - David talks about the ability to be future oriented and persevere to our future goals is an important part of life.
• [03:27] - David explains how the human mind tends to discount the value of the future.
• [05:01] - David lists gratitude, compassion and pride, as the social emotions that help with control and grit?
• [06:58] - David discusses how being self interested and aggressive is not an effective recipe for success, in the long term.
• [07:42] - David explains that what is adaptive for helping other people is adaptive for ourselves as well.
• [09:03] - David talks about how people who practise gratitude, compassion and pride, will demonstrate greater perseverence and less procrastination. He also discusses how the practise of meditation and mindfulnes can improve these qualities.
• [10:21] - David talks about making a habit of taking pride in steps along the way, not just when you reach your ultimate goal.
• [14:02] - David explains how pride can lead to perseverance.
• [15:47] - David gives examples of things that we can do to create a sense of authentic pride for ourselves.
• [17:21] - David details the intersection between the social emotions and our ability to maintain a growth mindset as we go about our jobs.
• [18:42] - David talks about our biases on who we choose to show compassion to, and how.
• [20:00] - David gives some practical tips on how to cultivate more compassion to improve relationships at work.
• [21:32] - David lists some other emotions that play into our social relationships, impact the choices we make, and our levels of self-control and grit.
• [22:24] - Lightning round with David Desteno.

Your Resources:

• Emotional Success by David Desteno
• The Truth About Trust by David Desteno
• Power Paradox by Dacher Keltner

Thanks for listening!

Thanks so much for joining me again this week.  If you enjoyed this episode, please share it using the social media buttons you see at the bottom of this post.

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Until next time, take care!  Thank you David!