Hope, when you think there is none.

 I remember standing on the top of the hill taking his letter out of my pocket,  and  reading again. I have a new life now and I’m grateful every day to the German soldier who gave me his letter.

 Suicide

It is a space, a space where no one else can reach you. It is the emptiness of all emptiness' it is depression. I had a million things to hold on to, but nothing could fill the space of time. You can hear yourself laughing, and you can feel yourself smile, and your everyday experiences justkeep rolling by.

Did I brush my teeth this morning? Did I fill the car with fuel? Did I say goodbye to the children? Did I forget something on my shopping list? What did I forget?

I had planned to have tea with my friends. But nothing seems to connect. It is just a space within a space. It is not that we forget. It is just time. You never know when the depression will happen again, and you don't know whether it will ever stop, and you pray to God that it will end quickly.

You think of a million of things that would hold you here,and then all thoughts disappear, and once again, you are left with emptiness. It is space a space of depression of all time; it does not mean that we do not love our loved ones, and it does not mean we do not want to be happy. It is a time frame of one second of one moment of time. I do know it is very hard to explain.

I do know it is a sickness, and I know it is always with me,at all times just waiting, and when there is no one else with us, we look to the sky for answers, but there is none.

We feel ourselves turning and twisting inside, trying to keep the thoughts away, sometimes, it is just like a flick of the switch, and a light comes in, and once again, we are ourselves.

People used to tell me that God does not forgive suicides. I can tell you they are wrong. There is always someone waiting and waiting for that one moment of time when we feel once more the time frame of life itself.

I have heard that phrase many times in my books. There is no other way to explain when we say it is a moment of time; that is exactly what it is. I ask for forgiveness,from our loved ones, for not holding their hand a little longer.

Be not the judge, and you shall not be judged, for this is the beginning and not the end. Once again, we will journey through time. And find the place that holds us safely until,once more, we will return to the things we love and miss most.

To find a place of belonging and contentment, a place where we can forgive ourselves. But most of all, a place where we can return to our loved ones and try to help them understand the ways of suicide. Please do not judge us, and please forgive us.

By Pam McCagh. © copyright ©

This Is My World.

I am a suicide survivor, and through a Death experience,  I was given the gift of listening. I listen to the Dead telling me their stories of their life and Death experiences. I have listened to hundreds of their stories, filled 23 books and won four book awards.

But it is the way the stories were written that is the most intriguing; I work through memories, their memories, and I am their storyteller.

My world is a wonderful world. It is an enchanting world which knows no boundaries; it is life and Death andcircumstances beyond  control.

Death is a rebirth, a rebirth of souls; it is a place beyond comprehension, and it is a place of peace and understanding. It is a time frame within the time frame of one second of one moment of life. That carries memories of life that we have lived time and time before.

Pam McCagh. © Copyright ©

Death Comes With No Choice.

All my books are written through Memories, Their Memories  It gives readers a nuanced view of Death and confirms its inevitable presence in our lives. The author clears many doubts surrounding the myth of what happens after we die by exploring the end in a way that helps readers appreciate life in general.

All the stories have been written by automatic writing, which also reveals the author's ability to connect with the spirit world. Her spiritual powers make the storiesgenuine and effective. The book helps us to have a better understanding of life, Death, and consciousness. It is a fascinating book that raises your awareness surrounding Death, and it helps us look at the inevitable with adifferent perspective and acceptance. Comments from the American Book Review's

Pam McCagh © Copyright ©

A Different kind of story.

A different kind of story is about the way that thestory comes through, Or the way I listen, sometimes it comes when I’m on the computer and sometimes it comes when I’m in the garden.

But mostly it comes when I have gone to bed and I hold my hand out for the ones that wait.

These are their stories and this is their book.

Pam McCagh. © Copyright ©

A Letter Of Hope, Is about the beginning, the end, andsomewhere in between. A Letter Of Hope is about the future and the past.It is about hope; when you think you have nothing else to live for. But most of all it is a cry for help. It is about waiting and hoping.

It is about letting go of life. But most of all, it is aboutDeath. The stories are their stories from the other side. And I am their storyteller.

By Pam McCagh Copyright ©

I never know the title of my books, and sometimes, I am given the title of the book halfway through, and sometimes it is right at the end of the book.

This book was different. The title was given to me during one of my readings; halfway through the reading, I felt someone taking over my voice.

 I apologised and asked if she would mind writing down what I was going to say.She immediately picked up a pen and paper and wrote down The Caretaker of Souls. I explained that this would be the name of my new book, and then I continued with the reading.

Pam McCagh © Copyright ©

I was brought up to believe when Death comes, it comes with no choices,

but since I have been involved with so many Deaths. I have come to believe and understand, There are different ways to accept Death.

Nobody wants to die, but we do have a choice when Death calls.

Do we go or do we stay? That It is up to us.

Pam McCagh © Copyright ©

This was my third book, But this was different; I learned about the whispering souls, the crying souls and the souls that could not rest.

I learned how to hold them when they needed me most and when to let them go. But most of all I learned to understand, the ways of tomorrow.

Pam McCagh © Copyright ©

I decided to name this book Can Butterflies Cry because we need to remember that when someone is dying, we need to give them something to hold onto.

 For this little girl, she loved butterflies. We all need something or someone near the end.

Pam McCagh © Copyright ©