When we are in a state of fear and survival, we look outside of ourselves to find love and value. We feel like we need other people to tell us that we are worthy. We overfocus on these other people, be they our children, family members, or our lovers. We make this person the only source of our happiness and worthiness. If this person returns our attentions, we feel good, but if they don't, we feel unworthy and unloved. Often, this turns into a vicious cycle of feeling rejected, then hyperfocusing on this individual even more.  

Even though we may believe that all of our worth and happiness relies on this one person, we need to take a step back and realize this simply isn't true. Letting go of our obsession and overfocus on this person frees us to live a healthier life. It doesn't mean that we don't love this person anymore, it just means that we broadened our attention so that we can see our choices to be happy beyond this one individual. It means that we have freed ourselves to pursue our own interests, and enjoy our own lives.