Dr. Diana Kirschner is a psychologist you may recognize from her appearances on shows like the Today Show and the PBS special based on her international best-selling book—Love in 90 days, which is just having its 10th anniversary. Love in 90 Days has reached tens of thousands of people around the world with the aim of helping them create self-value, self-confidence, and finding the path to lasting love internally, and with their soul mates.

 

Diana was the 5th girl in a family that only wanted boys, and so she felt deprived of love from the earliest age you can think of. She had to take it upon herself to study and find how to value herself—a journey that is as long and arduous as it sounds. This quest for self-love was a journey that she didn’t know at the time would carry on to this very day. She got a Master’s Degree and PhD in clinical psychology while discovering and honing in on ways to create this self-love that anyone can practice.

One key to this self-love is the notion that there is no fixed normal that defines you—your brain is a constantly changing light show. You can get in there and work with it to curate what your normal is and hone in on your identity, which is of course based on your skills and preferences and the things your heart yearns for. She calls this finding your diamond self, and like all diamonds, it is formed under pressure.

Taking control of your diamond self, giving it a name, making those you love and trust a part of it are all key components to programming yourself, and owning your identity. A process that turns the imagined into reality. And of course, our partners are a part of this. And it is so, so important that if you are focused on growth that your partner is as well—so that your relationship doesn’t slip into the gap that widens as you move in one direction and they do not.

If you want to pick up Love in 90 Days for the first time (or revisit the new edition with new content) head over to Lovein90days.com or browse the book on Amazon.