Twelve months. One year. 365 days. And somehow… it still doesn't quite feel real.

In this deeply personal episode of It's A Death Sentence, Emma and Carrie reflect on 12 months of grief after losing two of the people they loved most: Emma's dad and Carrie's brother.

What actually changes when you reach that one-year mark?

Is grief different at 12 months, or are you simply different because you've had 12 months to learn how to live alongside it?

They talk about the strange, suspended feeling of grief — those moments when you instinctively think “I need to tell Dad that” or “I need to tell my brother this”, before remembering they're not there anymore.

They explore the long goodbye of dementia and terminal illness, and whether some of the grieving had already happened before their loved ones died.

They talk about the things nobody warns you about:

· Missing the completely ordinary, mundane things you never expected to miss

· Forgetting for a split second that they're gone

· The random Tuesday-afternoon grief that can hit harder than the big anniversaries

· Feeling guilty for laughing, enjoying yourself or simply having a brilliant day

· How memories begin to change as the illness becomes less dominant

· Watching children grow up without the people they should have had beside them

· Becoming the oldest generation in your immediate family

· The strange emotional finality of finishing the paperwork and “death admin”

· Finding yourself laughing at memories and wondering whether you're allowed to

· And the question of what you would say to them if you could talk to them now

There's sadness, of course.

But there's also plenty of laughter, because grief isn't one emotion. It's messy, unpredictable, sometimes ridiculous and often completely ordinary.

And perhaps that's the biggest thing Emma and Carrie have learned over the last year:

You don't necessarily move on from someone. You learn how to carry them differently.

They ask whether grief actually gets smaller — or whether we just get bigger around it.

And after six months of surviving the first half-year, they ask:

What is 12 months actually about?

No neat answers. No five-step guide to grief. Just two friends, talking honestly about what happens when the person is still missing… but life keeps moving.

If you've lost someone, are grieving someone, or simply want to understand what grief can really look like beyond the funeral and the first few months, this one is for you.

If you’ve enjoyed it, found it useful, thought-provoking, or just found us thoroughly entertaining — which is entirely possible — please like, follow, subscribe and share. It genuinely helps us grow.

You can find us on TikTok, Instagram, Facebook and YouTube, and the podcast is now available on all major platforms, with the video version on YouTube and Spotify. https://linktr.ee/itsadeathsentencepodcast

We’re also on Patreon if you’d like to support what we do.

And if you want to find out what we’re up to beyond the podcast, come and follow Dead Curious CIC on Instagram, Facebook and YouTube. That’s our Community Interest Company delivering creative death education workshops — because apparently talking about death wasn’t enough, so we decided to make a whole organisation out of it!

And finally… Halloween!

Come and celebrate the success of the podcast with us at our Halloween Masquerade Ball, Saturday 31st October at Moor Hall, Sutton Coldfield, Birmingham.

There’ll be food, a string quartet, live band, DJ, dancing until late and, presumably, some questionable decisions in fancy dress.

Limited Tickets still available Tickets are on Eventbrite — link Eventbrite Masquerade Halloween Ball ticket

Please share us with anyone who might need us… or anyone who just enjoys two women talking about death over a microphone.

Thanks for listening — and as always, we’re dying to talk to you.

#ItsADeathSentence #12MonthsLater #Grief #GriefJourney #GriefAndLoss #Bereavement #LivingWithGrief #LosingAParent

Thank you for listening - find us on socials @itsadeathsentencepodcast follow and like us for more episodes. Find contact info on our web page www.its-a-death-sentence.com here you can contact us, buy our merch and send us your stories.

www.its-a-death-sentence.com

YouTube- @itsadeathsentencepodcast

Get in touch - we are Dying to talk to you

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When we picture someone grieving, we’re often shown the same image: hollow cheeks, a shrinking body, clothes hanging from a suddenly smaller frame. The beautiful, tragic, almost glamorous picture of the bereaved person who has simply… stopped eating.

But what happens when grief does the opposite?

In this episode of It’s A Death Sentence, Emma and Carrie have one of their most candid conversations yet about weight, grief, trauma, food and the complicated relationship so many of us have with our bodies.

Because for millions of people, stress and trauma don’t make the weight fall off. They make us eat. They make us comfort eat, lose our routines, reach for things that make us feel better for five minutes — and sometimes gain weight when we are already struggling to cope.

And what about those of us for whom weight management was already a lifelong battle before grief came along?

Emma gets brutally honest about her own relationship with weight, including her use of Ozempic and Mounjaro, the pressure to maintain a particular body size, and the lifelong cycle of losing, gaining, restricting and starting again. Carrie joins her in exploring how much of this is actually about food — and how much is about everything else going on underneath it.

Because grief doesn't just live in your head.

It lives in your body too.

And yet, when Emma and Carrie went looking for the language to describe weight gain through grief, they found remarkably little.

One term they discovered was Kummerspeck — a German word which literally translates roughly as “grief bacon.”

Grief bacon.

Really?

It says a lot about how we talk about bodies that even the language we have for gaining weight through emotional pain can feel flippant, judgemental or downright unkind.

Meanwhile, there are countless poetic descriptions and cultural references for becoming thin, gaunt or emaciated through grief — as though losing weight is somehow the more believable, more acceptable or even more beautiful physical manifestation of suffering.

So Emma and Carrie go down a rather unexpected rabbit hole.

They explore the language, symbolism and somatics of grief and the body, looking at some of the fascinating phrases used around the world to describe the physical effects of losing someone — and asking why we seem to have such a limited vocabulary for what happens when grief makes us bigger rather than smaller.

This isn't a diet episode.

It isn't about telling you what you should weigh, what you should eat, or how you should look.

It's about the weight we carry — literally, emotionally and culturally.

And, as ever, Emma and Carrie bring honesty, compassion, curiosity and a healthy dose of humour to a subject that can be incredibly difficult to talk about.

Because grief doesn't have a body type.

And neither should it have a dress size.

This is The Weight of Grief.

And that’s us for this episode of It’s A Death Sentence!

If you’ve enjoyed it, found it useful, thought-provoking, or just found us thoroughly entertaining — which is entirely possible — please like, follow, subscribe and share. It genuinely helps us grow.

You can find us on TikTok, Instagram, Facebook and YouTube, and the podcast is now available on all major platforms, with the video version on YouTube and Spotify. https://linktr.ee/itsadeathsentencepodcast

We’re also on Patreon if you’d like to support what we do.

And if you want to find out what we’re up to beyond the podcast, come and follow Dead Curious CIC on Instagram, Facebook and YouTube. That’s our Community Interest Company delivering creative death education workshops — because apparently talking about death wasn’t enough, so we decided to make a whole organisation out of it!

And finally… Halloween!

Come and celebrate the success of the podcast with us at our Halloween Masquerade Ball, Saturday 31st October at Moor Hall, Sutton Coldfield, Birmingham.

There’ll be food, a string quartet, live band, DJ, dancing until late.

Tickets are on Eventbrite — link Eventbrite Masquerade Halloween Ball ticket

Thank you for listening - find us on socials @itsadeathsentencepodcast follow and like us for more episodes. Find contact info on our web page www.its-a-death-sentence.com here you can contact us, buy our merch and send us your stories.

www.its-a-death-sentence.com

YouTube- @itsadeathsentencepodcast

Get in touch - we are Dying to talk to you

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We are SO proud to have interviewed Francesca Amber on the podcast!

For those who don’t know her, Francesca is a Sunday Times bestselling author, entrepreneur and host of the UK’s number-one self-development podcast, Law of Attraction Changed My Life. She’s also the author of Manifest Like a Mother — a book that, as it happens, played a rather important part in this particular episode coming to life…

About a year ago, Carrie and I were out walking and discovered we were both reading Francesca’s book. Serendipity? Probably. We decided there and then: “We will interview her. It will happen.”

We emailed. Nothing.

We waited. Still nothing.

Six to eight months, a few tags, another email and eventually a slide into the DMs later… IT HAPPENED.

But this episode isn’t just about manifestation. We’re exploring a question we’ve become fascinated by:

Can you manifest effectively whilst you’re grieving?

Can gratitude, visualisation and the Law of Attraction sit alongside grief and loss — or can they sometimes feel completely at odds with it?

We also discover Francesca’s fascination with death, hear about some spooky experiences from her childhood, find out why her daughter has such a particular name, hear about some famous graves she’s visited, and talk openly about the recent loss of one of her own friends.

And this is also one of our first episodes to feature “Would You Rather” at the end! Crafted by our very own Carrie, these quick-fire questions are both thought-provoking and absolutely hilarious — and let’s just say, Francesca is put through her paces.

Come and join us for a conversation about manifestation, grief, death, friendship, serendipity and finding meaning in the things we can’t always explain.

As a side note do you have plans for Halloween ? why not join us at It’s a Death Sentence masquerade Ball on 31st October 2026 is Birmingham – A night Of Glamour, Live Music, Dancing and Dressing up ! tickets here Eventbrite Masquerade Halloween Ball ticket

You can find Francesca amber @francescaamber on insta

Here is a link to her wonderful book “Manifest like a mother” which we highly recommend Manifest Like A Mother Here is a link to her new book manifest like a mother “The workbook” https://www. amazon.co.uk/Manifest-Like-Mother-Workbook-4-steps/dp/1846048672

We are just about to start in her members only “ Book club bitches” The community where we plough through every brilliant law of attraction/ self help book out there and Francesca does a chapter by chapter podcast episode to accompany it, to join the book club – book club Bitches

To listen to her Podcast ” The Law of attraction changed my life” available on all platforms but here is a Spotify link https://open.spotify.com/show/17kFRqblm9iIfwTlemaIUT

Don’t Forget to follow It’s A Death Sentence on tik tok, Insta, facebook and you tube

Please support our CIC “ Dead Curious” providing death education and facilitating conversation with community’s through creative projects. Dead Curious on all the socials and here is a link to our website Dead Curious CIC

Thank you for listening - find us on socials @itsadeathsentencepodcast follow and like us for more episodes. Find contact info on our web page www.its-a-death-sentence.com here you can contact us, buy our merch and send us your stories.

www.its-a-death-sentence.com

YouTube- @itsadeathsentencepodcast

Get in touch - we are Dying to talk to you

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We’ve talked a LOT about death and grief on this podcast… but what happens when you throw manifestation and the Law of Attraction into the mix?

In this episode, Carrie and Emma get personal about their own experiences with manifestation, gratitude and visualisation — and why they’ve both loved and used the Law of Attraction in their own lives.

Both of us started with The Secret, the classic beginner’s guide to manifestation, but Emma has a pretty good story about what happened when she took visualisation a little further…

Back in 2009, while touring as a singer with The Enemy, Emma created a vision board with one very specific goal on it: Wembley Stadium.

She was told she would only be doing the main leg of the tour — which was already pretty amazing — but The Enemy were also supporting Oasis that year. Emma put “Wembley Stadium” above her bed, making it the first thing she saw when she woke up and the last thing she saw before she went to sleep.

And guess what?

She performed at Wembley.

But then we get to the difficult bit…

So much of manifestation is about being positive, believing that what you want is already yours, visualising it and feeling those feelings before they arrive.

But what happens when you’re grieving?

When loss or trauma left you feeling like you’re operating at a completely different frequency? When your energy is low, your thoughts are heavy and your idea of a positive future is simply getting through the next hour without crying?

Can you manifest good things while you’re heartbroken?

Do you have to be positive all the time?

And is there room for grief, anger and sadness within a philosophy that tells us to focus on the life we want?

This is a conversation about manifestation, grief, trauma, hope and whether you really have to feel good before good things can happen.

As a side note do you have plans for Halloween ? why not join us at It’s a Death Sentence masquerade Ball on 31st October 2026 is Birmingham – A night Of Glamour, Live Music, Dancing and Dressing up ! tickets here Eventbrite Masquerade Halloween Ball ticket

Don’t Forget to follow It’s A Death Sentence on Tik Tok, Insta, Facebook and You Tube

Please support our CIC “ Dead Curious” providing death education and facilitating conversation with community’s through creative projects. Dead Curious on all the socials and here is a link to our website Dead Curious CIC

Thank you for listening - find us on socials @itsadeathsentencepodcast follow and like us for more episodes. Find contact info on our web page www.its-a-death-sentence.com here you can contact us, buy our merch and send us your stories.

www.its-a-death-sentence.com

YouTube- @itsadeathsentencepodcast

Get in touch - we are Dying to talk to you

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this fascinating episode of It’s A Death Sentence, Carrie and Emma are joined by Ahmed Hraichie — The Muslim Undertaker, also known as the Aussie Mammoth — an Australian funeral service professional whose work and social media have reached a global audience.

Ahmed takes us on a journey through his remarkable path into the death industry, from his early days working in mortuary removals and cemeteries to preparing and burying thousands of Muslim deceased according to Islamic funeral traditions. We hear about the physical, emotional and spiritual experiences that shaped his journey — and how his understanding of death has influenced the way he lives his own life.

Together, we explore the fascinating differences and shared humanity between Islamic funeral traditions and Western funeral practices.

We talk about:

🕌 What Islam teaches about death and burial ⚰️ Why traditional Islamic burial practices differ from many Western customs 🔬 What the Muslim faith believes about autopsy 👩‍⚕️ The role of women within Muslim funeral services 🌍 The cultural differences in how we mourn and remember our dead 💬 The importance of death education and having conversations about dying ❤️ Grief, compassion, faith and what we can learn from one another 💭 And why opening up conversations about death can actually help us live better lives

There are moments of deep reflection, moments that challenge our own assumptions, and, as you'd expect from Carrie and Emma, plenty of laughter along the way.

This is a conversation about difference without division — about asking questions with curiosity, listening with respect and discovering that beneath our different religious and cultural traditions, there are often more shared human experiences than we realise.

Ahmed's story is one of physical strength, spiritual growth, compassion and service. His journey into the death industry is fascinating, and his perspective on mortality, faith and the responsibility we have to care for the dead is genuinely thought-provoking.

Carrie and Emma thoroughly enjoyed their time with Ahmed and were honoured to have such an open and insightful conversation with him.

There was also a lovely little moment after the interview when Ahmed shared a post featuring the three of us. He later chose to remove it out of respect for some of his followers and their sensitivities — something we completely understand and respect.

Ahmed is currently in the UK for a series of appointments promoting his work, and we wish him every success while he's here.

And if you're wondering where you can watch or listen to the FULL INTERVIEW, we've made it easy!

YouTube

Audible Spotify Apple Podcasts

All Links can be found here : https://linktr.ee/itsadeathsentencepodcast

You can also find Ahmed — very easily! — across his social platforms, and we'll be sharing his links through our own posts.

And don't forget to follow It’s A Death Sentence on:

📸 Instagram 📘 Facebook 🎵 TikTok

Death is something every one of us will encounter. The way we understand it, talk about it and prepare for it can be very different.

So let's keep having the conversations.

Let's keep asking the questions.

And most importantly, let's keep talking about death.

And that’s us for this episode of It’s A Death Sentence!

If you’ve enjoyed it, found it useful, thought-provoking, or just found us thoroughly entertaining — which is entirely possible ! — please like, follow, subscribe and share. It genuinely helps us grow.

You can find us on TikTok, Instagram, Facebook and YouTube, and the podcast is now available on all major platforms, with the video version on YouTube and Spotify and apple podcasts. https://linktr.ee/itsadeathsentencepodcast

We’re also on Patreon if you’d like to support what we do.

Please share us with anyone who might need us… or anyone who just enjoys two women talking about death over a microphone.

Thanks for listening — and as always, we’re dying to talk to you.

Thank you for listening - find us on socials @itsadeathsentencepodcast follow and like us for more episodes. Find contact info on our web page www.its-a-death-sentence.com here you can contact us, buy our merch and send us your stories.

www.its-a-death-sentence.com

YouTube- @itsadeathsentencepodcast

Get in touch - we are Dying to talk to you

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How It All Began: The Story Behind It’s A Death Sentence

Why on earth would two women decide to make a podcast about death, dying and grief?

Well… there’s quite a story behind it.

Carrie and Emma are both bereaved, and death has become as much a part of their lives as life itself. Carrie has lost her mother-in-law, her uncle and, more recently, her beloved brother David. Emma has lost both of her parents, as well as a heartbreaking number of young friends.

And then there’s Carrie’s job. She works as an Anatomical Pathology Technician for the coroner, performing autopsies as part of her everyday working life. So, quite literally, Carrie works with death every single day.

But the podcast didn’t actually start as a podcast.

Carrie originally had the idea of creating something with her brother David — a way of capturing his voice and creating a lasting legacy for his son after they received the devastating news that David was terminally ill. It was a beautiful idea, born from something terribly sad. Sadly, David became too unwell for their plans to come to fruition.

But the idea stayed with Carrie.

When mutual friend and fellow Dead Curious CIC co-director James Young told her, “Just do it anyway. Start with me,” the first interview was born. James had lost his own mother as a child, and Carrie knew their conversation would be both deeply personal and thought-provoking.

James then suggested she interview another mutual friend…

Emma.

And, as they say, the rest is history. 😂

What began as a serious exploration of real-life stories of death, dying and grief soon took an unexpected turn when Carrie and Emma’s shared love of completely inappropriate, deathly dark humour took over.

They found themselves laughing through loss — loudly, ridiculously and sometimes quite uncontrollably. And that laughter became something cathartic and healing for them both.

In this episode, we talk about why we started the podcast, where the original idea came from, how grief has shaped both of our lives, and how It’s A Death Sentence evolved into the slightly unruly, occasionally dark and surprisingly joyful podcast it is today.

We also talk about what you can expect to find here — from bizarre deaths throughout history, to Carrie’s work with the coroner, what actually happens during an autopsy, personal stories of loss, grief, friendship, life and everything in between.

Because death is serious.

But talking about it doesn’t always have to be.

Welcome to It’s A Death Sentence. ❤️

As a side note do you have plans for Halloween ? why not join us at It’s a Death Sentence masquerade Ball on 31st October 2026 is Birmingham – A night Of Glamour, Live Music, Dancing and Dressing up ! tickets here Eventbrite Masquerade Halloween Ball ticket

Don’t Forget to follow It’s A Death Sentence on Tik Tok, Insta, Facebook and You Tube

Please support our CIC “ Dead Curious” providing death education and facilitating conversation with community’s through creative projects. Dead Curious on all the socials and here is a link to our website Dead Curious CIC

Thank you for listening - find us on socials @itsadeathsentencepodcast follow and like us for more episodes. Find contact info on our web page www.its-a-death-sentence.com here you can contact us, buy our merch and send us your stories.

www.its-a-death-sentence.com

YouTube- @itsadeathsentencepodcast

Get in touch - we are Dying to talk to you

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What if the very place we fear most at the end of life is actually where we find the most joy, connection, and purpose?

In this episode of It's a Death Sentence, we sit down with Stephen and Pete, two men who share their deeply moving experiences at the Primrose Hospice. Far from the sombre, quiet place they initially feared, they discovered a vibrant community filled with laughter, dominoes, and unconditional support.

What You’ll Discover

- Breaking the Hospice Stigma: Why hospices are not just places to die, but sanctuaries for living fully, finding purpose, and sharing a laugh with people who truly understand.

- The Power of Shared Experience: How connecting with others facing similar health battles provides a unique, unspoken comfort that family and friends cannot always offer.

- Finding Joy in the Present: The importance of having a routine, a community to wake up for, and how simple activities like art and dominoes can quiet an anxious mind.

Whether you are facing a difficult diagnosis or simply need a reminder of the resilience of the human spirit, this conversation is a beautiful testament to finding light in the darkest of times.

It's A Death Sentence shares real stories of life after loss and is produced by Urban Podcasts. Listener discretion is always advised.

Thank you for listening - find us on socials @itsadeathsentencepodcast follow and like us for more episodes. Find contact info on our web page www.its-a-death-sentence.com here you can contact us, buy our merch and send us your stories.

www.its-a-death-sentence.com

YouTube- @itsadeathsentencepodcast

Get in touch - we are Dying to talk to you

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When you hear the word "hospice," what is the first thing that comes to mind?

In this episode of It's a Death Sentence, we sit down with Sarah McDowell from Primrose Hospice & Family Support Centre to dismantle the common misconception that hospices are simply places where people go to die. Sarah shares her personal journey into the charity sector, inspired by her mother's 16-year career as a hospice nurse, and opens up about the vibrant, life-affirming reality of modern hospice care.

What You’ll Discover

- Redefining Hospice Care: Why places like Primrose are focused on living well, offering day services, physiotherapy, and complementary therapies rather than just end-of-life beds.

- Supporting the Whole Family: How dedicated family support teams provide vital bereavement counselling and tailored group activities for children and teenagers navigating loss.

- The Power of Community: A behind-the-scenes look at the massive fundraising efforts and the army of 400 volunteers required to keep these essential, free services running.

If you have ever felt apprehensive about what goes on behind hospice doors, this conversation is an uplifting reminder that these spaces are often filled with warmth, laughter, and above all, life.

It's A Death Sentence shares real stories of life after loss and is produced by Urban Podcasts. Listener discretion is always advised.

Thank you for listening - find us on socials @itsadeathsentencepodcast follow and like us for more episodes. Find contact info on our web page www.its-a-death-sentence.com here you can contact us, buy our merch and send us your stories.

www.its-a-death-sentence.com

YouTube- @itsadeathsentencepodcast

Get in touch - we are Dying to talk to you

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When multiple losses hit in quick succession, how do you find the space to grieve while still holding everything together for everyone else?

In this episode of It's a Death Sentence, we sit down with Jenna Smalley, a 34-year-old mother of two who experienced the unimaginable loss of three close family members in just two years. Jenna shares her deeply personal journey of losing her father suddenly to a ruptured aorta, followed by her 102-year-old grandmother, and finally her uncle, whom she cared for through his terminal cancer diagnosis.

What You’ll Discover

- Navigating Compound Grief: The emotional and physical toll of losing multiple family members in a short timeframe and why survival mode often delays the grieving process.

- Systemic Failures in End-of-Life Care: A honest look at the lack of support from healthcare services, the administrative burdens placed on next of kin, and the vital need for better communication.

- Finding Signs of Hope: How personal beliefs about the afterlife and small, meaningful signs from lost loved ones can provide comfort in the darkest times.

Jenna's story is a powerful reminder that while we often have no choice but to carry on for the sake of our families, we must eventually allow ourselves the time and space to heal. Her journey highlights the importance of speaking openly about death, even when society tells us to keep quiet.

It's A Death Sentence shares real stories of life after loss and is produced by Urban Podcasts. Listener discretion is always advised.

Thank you for listening - find us on socials @itsadeathsentencepodcast follow and like us for more episodes. Find contact info on our web page www.its-a-death-sentence.com here you can contact us, buy our merch and send us your stories.

www.its-a-death-sentence.com

YouTube- @itsadeathsentencepodcast

Get in touch - we are Dying to talk to you

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How do you find the light in the darkest of times?

In this episode of It’s a Death Sentence, we sit down with Rachel Watts, a social worker, trustee, and dedicated supporter of Primrose Hospice. Rachel shares her deeply personal journey following her sister Liz’s terminal cancer diagnosis, and how the hospice became a lifeline for her entire family. We explore the vital role of peer support for grieving teenagers, the importance of normalising conversations around death, and how Liz’s legacy continues to shape Rachel's life today.

What You’ll Discover

- Breaking the Hospice Stigma: Why hospices are far from the doom-and-gloom environments many expect, and how they provide a space for both serious support and light-hearted humour.

- Supporting Grieving Teenagers: The vital role of peer groups in helping young people navigate loss, and why using clear, honest language about death is essential for their understanding.

- Planning for the End: How taking the time to organise your own "death book" and final wishes can be one of the kindest, most compassionate gifts you leave behind for your loved ones.

Whether you are navigating your own grief, supporting a loved one, or simply want to understand how to talk more openly about mortality, this episode is a beautiful reminder that even in our final chapters, there is still so much life to be lived.

It's A Death Sentence shares real stories of life after loss and is produced by Urban Podcasts. Listener discretion is always advised.

Thank you for listening - find us on socials @itsadeathsentencepodcast follow and like us for more episodes. Find contact info on our web page www.its-a-death-sentence.com here you can contact us, buy our merch and send us your stories.

www.its-a-death-sentence.com

YouTube- @itsadeathsentencepodcast

Get in touch - we are Dying to talk to you

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.