On the first episode of season 3 about friendship I talk a little about how you and everyone around us are so very diverse. Our needs and desires in a friendship are different (besides the obvious traits such as trust, honesty etc.)  Some seek deeper family like connection, some  don't and some just need a basic friendly acquaintance to fulfill their social world.  And all of this is ok. 
Yes. I believe in my core that life is more beautiful and fulfilling when we do life with each other while seeking meaning connections but the reality is in some cases it's not practical for everyone OR the whole friendship making  or keeping game is still new and uncomfortable.  
But I think it all starts with asking yourself one little question...well maybe two.

1.) What am I desiring or need in my current friendships or new ones in the time of my life. 

2.) Expectations of others. What are my expectations? Are they practical, simple or do you have such high expectations of your friend's that it's no wonder why things are one sided?

We are all humans just trying to figure things out but when it comes to figuring out life with different types of folks we want to invite into our lives things can get kind of complicated BUT it doesn't have to.

Follow the podcast Instagram so I can hear your very vital feedback on your friendships and  answers to my questions on all things connection. 

@itsaboutthe.connection 

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After returning to California from a lovely life in the U. K. in the beginning of 2021 I was back in my home turf reconnecting with old relationships. The whole year I was unexpectedly  being taught new lessons and understandings on friendships on a whole new level.
 I have always had a love for people and my relationships but wow did I gain a fresh perspective on the importance of friendships/connections in our lives and I am so grateful to share my experiences with you. And it's important to toss some very vital data and research in the mix!
In this season expect topics on:
-Self-compassion (it's start with loving YOURSELF first before being a good friend to others)
-Engaging in healthy conflicts
-Long Distance Friendships
-Why it's harder to make friends in your 30s
-Conversations with my most dearest of pals
And sooo much MORE.

For behind the scenes and fun tidbits follow the podcast Instagram @itsaboutthe.connection

A poem from @yung_pueblo ( find him on Instagram for more connection poems)

Signs of a deep friend connection:

laughter is abundant 
honesty is encouraged 
vulnerability is welcomed
support is real and active
you can put your guard down
you inspire each other to grow
you give each other good advice 
they help during times of struggle
both of you feel stronger together

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This is the last conversation of season 2 and it's exactly that.  A conversation. It wasn't prepared, there is no theme or topic. Just two chicks who met while volunteering at Brighton and Hove emergency Food hub in the U.K. 
Kristin shares a little about her life growing up in Germany, finding a career as a flight attendant and how she no longer allows shame to hold her captive. In 2020 Kristin went through a tragic loss of a family member and got through it with the help of her close connections and some unexpected connections...
Our conversation was short and sweet but full of little gems to take away. My hope is that we all find the motivation to get to know one another on different levels. To spark up conversations with the person you've been trying to get to know allowing the fruit of our lives to shine through while we connect through our openness.
 

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In this episode Lucy shares with us her story as a young girl raised in Ireland during a war, struggling in academics but finally finding her calling as a chef in one of London's best hotels. She takes us on a journey of being one of the first women to be hired as a chef at the Intercontinental . It was there when struggles with certain tasks surfaced. As she continued to grow as a chef and started her own catering business the  struggles continued until she was encouraged to finally seek assistance.
She was finally able to put language to the struggles and was diagnosed with dyslexia. It is important to note that dyslexia does not hinder intelligence and Lucy is a perfect example of a woman who overcame the stigma about having dyslexia. 

Lucy thrives off the company of other people. The perfect example of an extravert.  She also teaches us a little something about a form of connection called intergenerational care. 

Her story is not only interesting but inspiring.

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In this conversation Marcy is opened and honest about her personal  journey from the past to present. As an American woman living in U.K. comes with loads of emotions. Homesickness, lack of connections and the simplicity of familiarity.
Marcy opens  up about her experience while being apart a religious organization for most her youth but after she started to question her own faith as a Jehovah Witness she made the decision to leave after feeling the sense of disconnection and conditional love. 
Throughout it all Marcy shares ways that she stays centered and positive , she embraces the  life she chose for herself, and inspirationally honors her ancestors and  finds her creative mojo in the most unexpected time. 

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In this episode Jen Jarvis from the band Seeker takes us on a truly opened and honest journey through her life as a mother of three, wife, singer/song writer and the many other hats she wears. 
In this conversation she paints an image of her song writing experiences. One after the devastating news of her mothers' illness and on a night when life just seemed to be a bit to much which lead to Seeker's new song 'Come Rushing In' which is featured at the end of this episode.  
A deep, authentic and meaningful conversation that left me thinking about how our own past traumas don't have to be hidden. They shape and define us. And the broken pieces can be mended back together with new life. The art of repairing our lives with gold and the a great representation of that  is the Japanese art called Kintsugi.

If you love the bonus content please support my friends Seeker by checking them out on websites below:

Seeker's information:
website-
http://www.seekermusic.co.uk/?fbclid=IwAR0YSKose64FQ8l5x6LMibJKLzhOIUfZMkPB5UzLkIAHFzc8FsxE5nPkL9M

Blog-
https://theimpossibleadventure.wordpress.com/?fbclid=IwAR2XKNm-szmtVUyKy9FmUQ96g1ptpJVt6HPTif3Lm81v2igTmpwixUUQfAo

FB-
https://www.facebook.com/seekermusic

Pateron Support-
https://www.patreon.com/seekermusic

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Part 2 is a continuation of reflections on the past and present and putting language to an emotion that everyone has felt at least once in there life. But how do we react and deal with that emotion? How does it effect us and keep us more disconnected?

Nicolette reads a short passage about the effects of loneliness from a book called Together  written by Vivek Murthy . In the passage Vivek explains that loneliness itself can be the thing that keeps us from connecting with one another due to many factors, such as shame  and fear of being labeled and judged by others. 
When we can identify that we might be feeling lonely instead of turning inwards let's discover the many ways to filling the void. 

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In this episode Nicolette records in an empty flat just two days before flying back to The States to call it home again. It was while living in the U.K. that an emotion was felt that she could not recognize right away but lead her to this creation of this podcast.
Finally, she coming to the conclusion that the very feeling was an outcome of not having genuine and authentic relationships in her life abroad...but what was that that feeling? Loneliness. Loneliness is our natural emotional signal to inform us that we are in need of connection, conversation and feeling included.
That discovery was the first step to understanding and embracing her love for people and passion for the world to connect with one another and combat the loneliness epidemic. 
 

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Season 2 is a collection of conversations with the people Nicolette had the pleasure of connecting with while living in the U.K.  and also personal reflections on her life, why platonic relationships are so important to her and how a an emotion we don't talk about often helped encourage her to be intentional about making new connections.
Trying to navigate through the pandemic and keeping all safety measures wasn't easy but not impossible. During the last few months of 2020 IATC was able to continue. And just to add a little flavor to the mix a new life decision was thrown in. Moving back to the USA...and yes..in the midst of the pandmeic! 

It is now the year 2021. And the mission of this podcast stays the same but there seems to always be more to add. Spreading awareness for our need for social connectedness  is the primary focus but how do we get there? We need to talk further about the shame of loneliness, how to feel like we belong in this big world and finding ways to empower each other to feel confident in relationship building. 

To support this podcast check out:
https://www.patreon.com/IATCpodcast

Please follow the IATC podcast Instagram and FB!
 instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itsaboutthe.connection/?hl=en

FB: https://www.facebook.com/itsabouttheconnection

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Serving others is deeply meaningful and there are so many ways to do it but sometimes you got to start off with finding out what's in it for you first.
 
In this episode Nicolette breaks down the reasons why volunteering and giving away your time to others is beneficial for your mental health,  giving you feelings of self efficacy, accomplishment and interpersonal connection with others. 
We are busy people with not enough hours in our day to pursue all our needs so how could we possibly begin to think about giving our time away to others? Nicolette shares a report and detailed experiments on how Giving Away Your time Gives You Time. (full report in link below).
In order to become well-rounded healthy minded people we need to start somewhere. And it starts with the Golden Rule "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you'"


https://www.scribd.com/document/90848882/Report-Giving-Time-Gives-You-Time

https://youtu.be/V3L5oNQHylg

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