It's Been Done Before

This week we are beginning Romantic Movie Month by taking a magical journey to the land of Far Far Away with Shrek 2. This movie is a cute childish story filled with comedy, love, friendship, adventure and heroics. We start off with our newlyweds, Shrek and Fiona, enjoying their honeymoon and then returning to their home in the swamp. They are greeted by Donkey, Shrek’s loyal but annoying sidekick, and invited by Fiona’s parents to a wedding celebration at the palace. Once they get to the the castle things do not go very smoothly as Shrek and The King bicker back and forth about Shrek’s worthiness to be Fiona’s husband. We soon find out that the reason for The King’s displeasure is that he had an arrangement with The Fairy Godmother to make sure her son, Prince Charming, would marry Fiona as repayment for an old debt. The King decides to hire an assassin, Puss in Boots, to “take care of Shrek,” but the plan fails and Puss befriends Shrek and Donkey and joins them on their adventure. Shrek uses a magic potion to turn himself and Donkey into a handsome young man and a magnificent white stallion in an attempt to give Fiona the man Shrek thinks she wants. Once Shrek finds out The Fairy Godmother’s real plan he gathers his group of fairytale buddies to help him get back his true love. Why was Shrek so quick to believe Fiona would be better off without him? How didn’t Fiona recognize Prince Charming? I have to assume he grew up in the same kingdom as she did. Wouldn’t it have made life easier if Donkey had asked Dragon to come help them with their quest? Since this movie made a bajillion dollars I’m guessing you have probably seen it before. If not, take ninety minutes out of your life to make the kid in you happy.

This week we’re joining Starfleet Academy and boldly going where no other podcast has gone before with the 2009 reboot of Star Trek. This movie takes us through the early years of the crew of The Enterprise and shows us how James T. Kirk became a captain. JJ Abrams gets a bunch of guff for his use of lens flares in this movie, but it is still a really good sci-fi action flick with all the cheesy fun of the original series. We get to see Kirk’s journey from a young car stealing hoodlum, to the underachieving town drunk at a bar in Iowa and finally into the stowaway who becomes Captain of a starship. Eventually they get the whole gang together, including Old Spock, and kill some green-blooded aliens and save the day, the world and the universe. Why wasn’t Kirk in jail by the time he was old enough to enroll in Starfleet? He obviously spent his whole life committing crimes between stealing that car and becoming the angry Barney Gumble of Iowa. Spock seems like a cold hearted dick and a snitch. Why does Uhura love him? How was Spock going to explain the death sentence he handed Kirk by banishing him to an arctic planet? This movie was fun, check it out if you haven’t seen it yet.

This week we’re taking another trip back to the Old West with The Coen Brothers’ 2010 remake of True Grit. This story follows 14 year old Mattie Ross as she sets out to see her father’s killer brought to justice. With the aid of Deputy U.S. Marshal Reuben J. "Rooster" Cogburn and Texas Ranger LaBoeuf, Mattie tracks the killer and his gang across the Indian Territory of Arkansas and to their mountain hideout. In the end, Mattie gets her revenge but is bitten by a venomous snake and has to be quickly carried back to civilization by Rooster Cogburn. This is a wonderful film that was released to much critical acclaim. The back and forth between Cogburn and LaBoeuf sets the tone for their relationship throughout the film. Who played a better Rooster Cogburn, Jeff Bridges or John Wayne? How spectacular is Hailee Steinfeld in this film? Can you believe this was her first major film role, at age 13? What are the chances the Coens will make a remake of Rooster Cogburn? This movie is great and if you haven’t watched the 1969 original make sure you check that out as well.

This week we’re taking a trip to Norway to let everyone know about the amazingly fun Dead Snow 2: Red vs Dead. Of all the zombie Nazi movies that are available to watch, this one is by far the best. Think Shaun of the Dead if Sam Raimi were the director. The movie takes place immediately after the end of the previous film and follows our hero Martin as he attempts to outrun the law and defeat the evil Col. Herzog with the help of The Zombie Squad from America. Martin and The Zombie Squad eventually get help from a battalion of Russian zombies and are able to stop the Nazi zombies, or so they think. This movie was so much fun to watch and talk about. Why didn’t this movie get a wider American release? How many other movies are willing to kill children with such a sense of lightheartedness? Glenn was a totally unwilling participant in all of this and he was used as bait and then knifed in the throat. We say the word intestines more in this episode than I think we ever will again. Such a good time this week. We miss you Claire, you’re a real American hero.

This week we take our first stab at a comic book movie with the action packed Blade II. This was the first successful R-rated superhero movie series and it has somewhat been forgotten in all the recent MCU/DCCU hoopla. Wesley Snipes is the perfect actor for this role and made us believe that he might actually hunt vampires in his freetime. What’s with all the vampire rave culture in these movies? Did Kris Kristofferson channel the spirit of Nick Nolte as inspiration for Whistler’s personality? Was there really a need for a racist moment between Blade and Reinhardt? Why would vampires be racist? Wouldn’t they just look all non-vampires as things to eat? I don’t care what ethnicity my buffalo wings are, as long as they are delicious! Why is Blade so deeply in love with Nyssa? Shouldn’t he want to kill her like he does every other vampire? Blade was pretty cool with letting Whistler burn in the sun if the antidote didn’t work and he spent two years searching for Whistler. It’s a shame the third movie was so bad. It would be fun to see more Blade movies and I’m sure Wesley could use the money. We’re sure we got some of the source material facts wrong in this one but give us a break, we’re movie geeks not comic book geeks. Have fun with this one. Enjoy your week!

NEW Episodes every Tuesday at 9:00amTheater II: D2 - The Mighty DucksChristmas week is finally upon us and we are talking about a modern holiday classic, National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.  This movie is a Christmas tradition in my house and I hope it is in yours too.  Clark Griswold and his whole family are back to spend the holidays together and drive each other crazy.  Clark is waiting to receive his holiday bonus so he can let his family know that he plans on installing a fabulous backyard swimming pool.  The whole extended Griswold family shows up to complain about anything and everything and to push Clark to the brink of his sanity.  The best character in this movie is the beloved Cousin Eddie, portrayed by Sir Randall Quaid.  What, you didn’t know he was a Knight?  Yeah, it turns out The Queen is a big fan of Kingpin.  This movie holds a special place in Matt and Mike’s hearts.  Enjoy the episode and have a wonderful Christmas.  HO HO HO!

Christmas movie month is coming to an end this week with a remake of Charles Dickens’ Christmas classic, Scrooged. This modern day update to A Christmas Carol stars Bill Murray as Frank Cross, a big shot TV executive that does not have any holiday cheer in his life. Frank takes his anger and frustrations out on everyone around him and treats most people like dirt until one faithful night when he has a reunion with his old boss’s reanimated zombie, Lew. Lew tells Frank that there is still time to change his ways for the better and that he will be visited by three ghosts. Frank is taken on a journey through the many different Christmases in his life by the ghosts of Christmas past, present and future. This version of the tale has a much more comedy in it than the original but also takes a few dark turns. Why is Claire’s business card so damn large? What happens to Frank in the real world while he is traveling with the ghosts? Where there any members of the Murray family that were not cast in this movie? How could Eliot be able to return to work after his shooting rampage? Shouldn’t he be looking at some jail time? We hope Santa brought you all the gifts you wanted and that you have a fun and safe New Year’s Eve. Enjoy!

Christmas week is finally upon us and we are talking about a modern holiday classic, National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. This movie is a Christmas tradition in my house and I hope it is in yours too. Clark Griswold and his whole family are back to spend the holidays together and drive each other crazy. Clark is waiting to receive his holiday bonus so he can let his family know that he plans on installing a fabulous backyard swimming pool. The whole extended Griswold family shows up to complain about anything and everything and to push Clark to the brink of his sanity. The best character in this movie is the beloved Cousin Eddie, portrayed by Sir Randall Quaid. What, you didn’t know he was a Knight? Yeah, it turns out The Queen is a big fan of Kingpin. This movie holds a special place in Matt and Mike’s hearts. Enjoy the episode and have a wonderful Christmas. HO HO HO!

Christmas movie month continues with this week’s episode, Home Alone 2: Lost in New York. The holiday hijinx continue for Kevin McCallister as he is once again separated from his family during Christmas time. He runs into his old pals The Wet (no, make that) The Sticky Bandits, Harry and Marv, who have escaped from jail and are on the run. Kevin uses a wide variety of tricks and traps to find himself a hotel room, stay one step ahead of the inept hotel staff, save Mr. Duncan’s toy store and send Harry and Marv back to the big house. He even makes a lifelong friend who has some weird symbiotic relationship with a flock of pigeons. Are Kevin’s parents the most negligent people in Christmas movie history? What’s the deal with Tim Curry’s character? Why does he treat Kevin like a con man from the moment he sees him? Seriously, how bad must the Pigeon Lady smell? Where do I get a copy of Even Filthier Angels so we can review it for the show? Is there anything funnier than seeing Marv get electrocuted? Daniel Stern kills it in this movie! Have a good time listening to this one and keep the holiday cheer going.

We’re kicking off Christmas movie month with a bang, a boom and a pow! Mike and Matt are talking about the first of many sequels to the greatest action movie ever made, Die Hard 2: Die Harder. It’s Christmas Eve and John McClane has brought his brand of wisecracking and buttkicking action to Washington D.C.’s Dulles Airport. He’s there to pick up his wife Holly after her flight arrives, but first he must help thwart the mercenary group that has hacked into the air traffic control system and brought the airport to its knees. It’s a race against time to stop the evil Colonel Stuart’s plan before Holly’s plane runs out of fuel and falls from the sky. We had a bunch of fun with this one. It was like stepping back in time to see the way airport security handled things prior to 9/11. Everyone could smoke indoors and people just wandered into restricted areas without anyone questioning what they were doing. Does Col. Stuart always start his day by doing some nude Tai Chi while watching the news? Why aren’t there more guards making sure General Esperanza is securely locked down in his cargo plane? How did Richard Thornburg get this far into his flight without noticing Holly McClane sitting a few feet away from him? Try playing the Where’s Waldo? game with John Leguizamo and let us know where you find him. This was a great movie to get our holiday juices going. Enjoy!