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What if the most misunderstood diagnosis in mental health is also one of the most treatable when we get the language, skills, and alliance right? Today we sit down with Ivelisses Cooke, LCSW, SIFI, C-DBT, and doctoral candidate—who brings both professional expertise and lived experience to a candid, compassionate look at borderline personality disorder (BPD).
We start by naming the problem: stigma that reduces people to “the borderline in room two.” Ivelisses (Eevee) explains why person-first language is not cosmetic; it’s clinical. She unpacks the nine DSM-5TR criteria, clarifies how BPD differs from bipolar disorder (think hours-to-days fluctuations vs weeks-long episodes), and shows how mislabeling derails care.
From there, we get practical. Drawing on Wampold’s research on common factors, Eevee outlines the core of effective therapy (EVS): empathy, validation, and support. Then she layers in DBT’s engine—distress tolerance, emotion regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness—translating each into real-world tools like urge surfing and radical acceptance that help intense feelings crest and recede without causing harm.
The conversation then widens to a systems view. Media tropes and burnout can push clinicians toward cynical shorthand and avoidance. Eevee offers a different roadmap: person-centered care, intersectional assessment, and flexible use of modalities like schema therapy, CBT, and REBT alongside DBT. She anchors it all in a human rights framework, reminding us that Article 25 (UN, 1948) affirms access to quality mental health care as a basic right. We also talk authenticity in the therapy room, when careful self-disclosure helps reduce shame, and how many people move into remission or live with features rather than the full syndrome as skills and supports grow.
If you’re a clinician, student, or someone navigating BPD, you’ll leave with language that heals, skills you can practice today, and a hopeful, grounded vision of what remission can look like.
“Educational and informational purposes only. If you are experiencing symptoms, please speak to your mental health expert or your physician”
Thank you Ivelisses Cooke for sharing your story, knowledge and expertise. For further information, visit her website: IvelissesCooke.wix.com
~Donna
Always special thanks:
Ellen for her fabulous branding and photos. If you need a photographer or graphic designer, [email protected]
Johnny Peacock Music for the music into/outro. Looking for a custom sound? Reach out to Johnny. [email protected]
My cousin Gab for sharing your expertise. The best resource and expert to help pull this together. For any podcast assistance, contact [email protected]
Monmouth University: School of Social Work; Department of Communication (WXCM 88.9FM); and the Department of Psychology for all your support. Go Hawks
My capstone committee, and my fabulous professors and mentors, for pushing me past my comfort zone
“Team B” for your unending support.
And, to my children~ just because.
References:
Chapman, A.L. & Gratz, K.L. (2013) Borderline personality Disorder. A guide for the newly diagnosed. New Harbinger Publications
Linehan, M. (1993). Cognitive-behavioral treatment of borderline personality disorder. Guilford Press.
Linehan, M. M. (1987). Dialectical behavioral therapy: A cognitive behavioral approach to parasuicide. Journal of Personality Disorders, 1(4), 328-333.
UN General Assembly. (1948). The universal declaration of human rights. https://www.un.org/en/about-us/universal-declaration-of-human-rights
Wampold, B. E. (2015). How important are the common factors in psychotherapy?
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