Cold Open / Viral Absurdity
A man trains crows to attack people wearing red hats, confirming that even wildlife has opinions now.
Quick MR FUN TikTok break to reset before everything gets heavy.
Minnesota Economic Blackout & Escalating ICE Protests
Faith leaders, labor unions, and community groups call for a statewide economic blackout on January 23.
The protest responds to Operation Metro Surge, a major federal immigration enforcement action.
Tensions intensified after Renee Good, a mother of three, was fatally shot by an ICE agent.
The Pentagon places roughly 1,500 active-duty troops on standby as protests grow.
Local officials warn that militarizing the response could escalate violence rather than restore order.
Minnesota becomes a national test case for how far federal authority will go when states push back.
ICE Deports 5-Year-Old U.S. Citizen
ICE deports a 5-year-old U.S. citizen and her mother from Austin, Texas, to Honduras.
Arrest stemmed from a routine police call and an ICE administrative warrant.
The child and mother were held briefly, told not to disclose their location, then deported.
Advocacy groups condemn the action as family separation that undermines trust in police.
Raises serious questions about due process and police cooperation with federal immigration enforcement.
New “Abolish ICE” Bill
Congressman Shri Thanedar introduces legislation to dismantle ICE entirely.
DHS strongly opposes the proposal, arguing enforcement is necessary for public safety.
Supporters frame abolition as a human rights issue; critics call it politically risky.
The debate exposes deep divisions over reform versus elimination of federal immigration enforcement.
Trump Says “We Shouldn’t Even Have an Election”
President Donald Trump remarks that the U.S. “shouldn’t even have an election,” later framed by the White House as a joke.
Comment sparks immediate backlash and renewed concerns over democratic norms.
Legal reality remains unchanged: elections are constitutionally mandated.
Critics say the rhetoric further erodes trust in democratic institutions.
DOJ vs Congress Over Epstein Files
The Department of Justice tells a federal judge Congress cannot control or accelerate the release of Epstein-related files.
Lawmakers argue the release is moving far too slowly.
DOJ says delays are due to victim-protection redactions.
Public frustration grows as only a fraction of documents have been released.
Trump’s Letter to Norway, Greenland, and the Nobel Grudge
Trump sends a letter to Norway’s prime minister tying a Nobel Peace Prize snub to his renewed push for control of Greenland.
Norway reiterates it does not decide Nobel winners.
The letter escalates diplomatic tensions with Europe and NATO allies.
The situation inspires global confusion and a lot of internet mockery.
Denmark “Buy California” Petition Goes Viral
Satirical petition suggests Denmark should buy California and rename it “New Denmark.”
Gains hundreds of thousands of signatures.
Uses humor to criticize Trump’s Greenland ambitions.
Becomes a cultural meme rather than a serious proposal.
Anti-Trans GOP Lawmaker Sentenced
Former South Carolina Republican lawmaker RJ May sentenced to 17½ years for distributing child sexual abuse material.
Case highlights stark hypocrisy given his past anti-trans rhetoric.
Prosecutors describe the material as among the most disturbing they’ve seen.
Sparks renewed criticism of moral panic politics.
Severe Solar Storm Triggers Global Alerts
A G4-level geomagnetic storm hits Earth following a coronal mass ejection.
Potential disruptions to satellites, GPS, aviation, and power grids.
Auroras visible farther south than usual.
Reminder of how vulnerable modern infrastructure is to space weather.
Box Office Check: 28 Years Later: The Bone Temple
Long-awaited zombie sequel opens with a modest but respectable box office.
Strong interest from franchise fans, limited appeal to casual audiences.
Mixed-to-positive reviews praise atmosphere but question necessity.
Studios watching closely to see if word-of-mouth sustains the run.
Wrap
From weaponized birds to weaponized rhetoric, this episode covers a week where reality refuses to behave.
Heavy stories, absurd moments, and the uncomfortable overlap between them.
It’s News To Us — because apparently it has to be.
