Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD): Why Rejection Feels So Painful in ADHD & Autism | NeuroKind Podcast

Have you ever replayed a conversation for days, convinced someone secretly dislikes you? Felt physically sick after receiving criticism? Avoided opportunities because the possibility of rejection felt unbearable?

You are not alone.

In this episode of The NeuroKind Podcast, psychiatrist Dr Dominique Hannah and lawyer, autism & ADHD advocate Hannah McLaughlin explore one of the most misunderstood experiences in neurodivergence: Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD).

Although RSD is not currently a formal diagnostic criterion, countless autistic and ADHD individuals describe an intense emotional response to perceived criticism, exclusion, failure or rejection. For many, these experiences can influence friendships, relationships, careers, parenting and self-esteem in profound ways.

Together, Dom and Hannah unpack the science behind RSD, what current research tells us, where the concept originated, and why so many neurodivergent adults feel seen when they finally discover there is a name for what they've experienced their entire lives.

Drawing on clinical expertise, lived experience and plenty of humour, they discuss why rejection can feel physically painful, why masking often develops as a protective strategy, and how years of misunderstanding and criticism can shape a person's nervous system.

The conversation also explores:

• What Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) actually is

• Why ADHD and autism are so commonly associated with intense rejection sensitivity

• The difference between RSD, anxiety, trauma and emotional dysregulation

• Why seemingly "small" comments can trigger overwhelming emotional responses

• The hidden cost of perfectionism, people-pleasing and masking

• How childhood experiences of criticism can influence adult self-worth

• The latest research into RSD and neurodiversity

• Practical strategies to recognise, manage and respond to rejection sensitivity

• Why self-compassion is often one of the most powerful interventions

As always, this isn't about "fixing" neurodivergent people.

It's about understanding the way neurodivergent brains and nervous systems respond to the world, reducing shame, and helping people replace self-criticism with self-understanding.

Whether you're autistic, ADHD, both, questioning your neurodivergence, parenting a neurodivergent child, supporting neurodivergent students, or working as a teacher, psychologist, psychiatrist or allied health professional, this episode offers practical insights grounded in both evidence and lived experience.

If you've ever wondered, "Why does rejection affect me so much?", this conversation may finally provide the answer you've been searching for.

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs to hear that they're not "too sensitive"—their brain may simply process rejection differently.

About NeuroKind

NeuroKind is an Australian neurodiversity education company founded by psychiatrist Dr Dominique Hannah and lawyer Hannah McLaughlin. Through evidence-based education, professional development, podcasts and community conversations, NeuroKind helps create a world where autistic and ADHD people are understood, supported and empowered to thrive.

Keywords: Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria, RSD, ADHD podcast, autism podcast, neurodiversity, emotional dysregulation, emotional regulation, rejection sensitivity, ADHD adults, autistic adults, late diagnosed autism, late diagnosed ADHD, neurodivergent women, masking, mental health, executive functioning, psychology, psychiatry, NeuroKind, Dr Dominique Hannah, Hannah McLaughlin.

The Wonderful World & Gifts of the Neurodivergent Brain (Autism, ADHD & AuDHD)

What if the conversation around autism, ADHD and AuDHD has been missing half the story?

For decades, neurodivergence has largely been discussed through the lens of challenges, deficits and disability. While those experiences are real and deserve recognition, they’re only part of the picture. In this uplifting and evidence-informed episode we explore something that’s often overlooked: the remarkable gifts, strengths and unique perspectives of the neurodivergent brain.

Together, they unpack why autistic, ADHD and AuDHD minds have contributed to some of humanity’s greatest innovations, discoveries and creative achievements. They discuss why different ways of thinking aren’t flaws to be fixed, but valuable differences that have always played an important role in society.

Throughout this episode, you’ll discover why curiosity, creativity, hyperfocus, pattern recognition, innovation, honesty, loyalty and a deep sense of justice are so commonly seen in neurodivergent people.

The conversation explores why so many entrepreneurs, inventors, creatives and business founders appear to think differently, and why environments that recognise neurodivergent strengths are often the key to helping people thrive. You’ll hear why ADHD isn’t simply an attention deficit, but an attention regulation difference, how hyperfocus can become a remarkable asset, and why autistic monotropism allows many people to develop extraordinary expertise in subjects they love.

Dominique also explains the evolution of our understanding of AuDHD, including why autism and ADHD couldn’t be diagnosed together until the release of DSM-5 in 2013, and what current research tells us about the significant overlap between these neurotypes. Together, they discuss how understanding both autism and ADHD can completely transform someone’s understanding of themselves.

This episode also explores justice sensitivity, deep empathy, authentic relationships, creativity, resilience, environmental fit, psychological safety and why so many neurodivergent adults spend years believing they’re broken before finally discovering that their brains simply work differently. Hannah and Dominique discuss the importance of creating environments that recognise strengths instead of focusing exclusively on difficulties.

Most importantly, this conversation challenges the idea that neurodivergence is something to be cured. Instead, it offers a hopeful, neuro-affirming perspective: that autism, ADHD and AuDHD are part of the natural diversity of human minds. As Dominique beautifully explains, neurodiversity isn’t a bug in humanity—it’s a feature. Different thinkers have always shaped our world, challenged convention and driven progress.

Whether you’re autistic, ADHD, AuDHD, exploring a diagnosis, parenting a neurodivergent child, teaching in an inclusive classroom, working in healthcare, or simply wanting to better understand neurodiversity, this episode will leave you with a deeper appreciation of the extraordinary potential that exists within neurodivergent minds.

• The strengths of autism, ADHD and AuDHD• Hyperfocus and monotropism• Creativity, innovation and entrepreneurship• Pattern recognition and different ways of thinking• Justice sensitivity and deep empathy• Loyalty, authenticity and meaningful relationships• The science of AuDHD and current research• Why environment matters more than deficits• Raising neurodivergent children with pride• Why different minds change the world

Keywords: autism, ADHD, AuDHD, neurodivergent, neurodiversity, autistic adults, ADHD adults, ADHD podcast, autism podcast, neurodivergent strengths, autistic strengths, ADHD strengths, hyperfocus, executive functioning, late diagnosis, neurodivergent women, parenting ADHD, parenting autism, autism education, ADHD education, neuro-affirming, mental health, inclusion, educators, teachers, psychologists, psychiatrists, NeuroKind Podcast.

What happens when autism and ADHD exist in the same brain?

For many people, the answer is confusion, contradiction, and decades of feeling like they don’t quite belong anywhere.

In this episode of the NeuroKind Podcast, psychiatrist Dr Dominique Hannah and NeuroKind co-founder Hannah McLaughlin take a deep dive into AuDHD—the increasingly recognised presentation of co-occurring Autism and ADHD.

For years, autism and ADHD were viewed as separate conditions. In fact, previous diagnostic systems did not allow both diagnoses to be given simultaneously. Modern research has transformed our understanding, revealing that many people experience characteristics of both neurotypes and that these traits often interact in unique and sometimes paradoxical ways.

The conversation explores why AuDHD can feel so difficult to identify, particularly in adults who have spent their lives trying to understand themselves through only one lens. Many individuals report feeling “too autistic for the ADHD groups” and “too ADHD for the autism groups”—a feeling of existing between categories while fully belonging to neither.

Dr Hannah explains how autism and ADHD can both complement and conflict with each other. The autistic desire for predictability, routine and structure can sit alongside the ADHD drive for novelty, spontaneity and stimulation. The result is often an internal push-pull that can be exhausting, confusing and difficult to explain to others.

The episode examines common AuDHD experiences including:

• Executive functioning difficulties• Hyperfocus and intense interests• Sensory sensitivities and sensory seeking• Social communication differences• Emotional regulation challenges• Demand avoidance and burnout• Masking and late diagnosis• The search for identity and self-understanding• Strengths associated with neurodivergent thinking

Using historical examples and thought experiments, the discussion explores how neurodivergent traits may have influenced some of history’s most influential thinkers, scientists, artists and innovators. Importantly, the hosts discuss the limitations of retrospective diagnosis while examining the characteristics that often lead researchers and clinicians to speculate about neurodivergence in historical figures.

The conversation also highlights an important issue often overlooked in discussions of history and science: the contributions of women. During a spontaneous discussion about the discovery of DNA, the hosts reflect on the crucial role played by Rosalind Franklin and the broader tendency for women’s achievements to be overlooked or forgotten.

A central theme throughout the episode is that many late-diagnosed autistic and ADHD adults have spent years believing they were failing. They have tried harder, worked longer, become more organised, more disciplined and more self-critical in an effort to function in systems that were never designed for their brains. Dr Hannah offers a powerful alternative perspective: The problem was never a lack of effort. The problem was misunderstanding.

Understanding one’s neurotype can transform self-perception, reduce shame and create opportunities to develop strategies that work with the brain rather than against it. The hosts introduce the concept of flexible structure—the idea that many AuDHD individuals thrive not with rigid routines or complete freedom, but with adaptable systems that balance predictability and autonomy.

Above all, this episode is a message of validation.

Whether you are newly diagnosed, questioning whether you may be neurodivergent, supporting a neurodivergent family member, or simply interested in the evolving science of autism and ADHD, this conversation provides an accessible and compassionate introduction to AuDHD.

Neurodiversity research is still developing. Our understanding of AuDHD continues to evolve. Yet for many people, finally discovering that autism and ADHD can coexist offers a framework that makes sense of a lifetime of experiences.

In this episode of It’s Not Just You, Hannah McLaughlin and Dr Dominique explore the signs of autism in girls and women — not just what autism looks like from the outside, but what it feels like on the inside.

We talk about why autistic girls are so often missed, how masking and social performance can hide distress, and why many women grow up feeling “different” without knowing why.

This conversation explores:

• Autism in girls and women
• Late diagnosis and missed diagnosis
• Masking, camouflaging and social exhaustion
• Special interests that fly under the radar
• Friendship, boundaries and social confusion
• Interoception, alexithymia and emotional intensity
• The “good girl” and “problem child” presentations
• Burnout, anxiety and the cost of performing
• Why understanding your neurotype can change everything

If you’ve ever felt like you were performing your way through life, or wondered why everything seemed harder than it looked, this episode is for you.

It’s Not Just You is a NeuroKind podcast hosted by Dr Dominique Hannah and Hannah McLaughlin.

In this episode of It’s Not Just You, Hannah and Dr Dominique talk about masking, autistic burnout, and the impossible expectations placed on women. They explore masking, or camouflaging, as a survival strategy many neurodivergent women develop to stay safe and accepted, and unpack the heavy cost it can have on identity, energy, and wellbeing.

They also dive into autistic burnout: what it is, how it differs from depression, what it feels like in everyday life, and why recovery requires rest, self-awareness, and permission to step back without shame. Along the way, they share personal experiences, practical warning signs, and the different ways they each try to avoid reaching full burnout.

More broadly, this episode looks at how patriarchy shapes women’s lives through pressure, performance, and impossible standards, and why so many women are exhausted. It’s a validating, honest conversation about rest, identity, feminism, and learning to meet yourself with more compassion.

What is neurodiversity — really? And why were so many women missed?

In this episode of It’s Not Just You, we break down what neurodiversity actually means, how our understanding has shifted from the medical model to the neurodiversity paradigm, and why autism and ADHD in women have historically been overlooked.

We explore the difference between neurodiversity vs neurodivergence, and what living in a neurodivergent brain can actually feel like — from sensory overwhelm and executive dysfunction to masking, burnout, and social exhaustion.

We also unpack:

• Why early autism research was based on male presentations

• How this led to missed and misdiagnosed women

• The concept of masking and camouflaging (and its psychological cost)

• Common misdiagnoses including anxiety, depression, and personality disorders

• Why many women are only now being diagnosed in their 30s and 40s

• The shift toward a social model of disability

• How diagnosis can be reframed as understanding — not deficit

This episode is for anyone who has ever felt:

“Why does everything feel harder for me?”

“Why do I burn out when others don’t?”

“Why do I feel like I’m performing just to keep up?”

If that’s you — this conversation may change how you see yourself.

Because as always: it’s not just you.

Autism in women often goes unnoticed. These are the real signs of autism in girls and late-diagnosed women, including masking, burnout, and why so many are missed.

For everyone who's been called too much, not enough, too loud, too quiet, too weird or too different - this is for you.

In our first episode, we introduce ourselves, our autistic diagnoses — and the story behind NeuroKind.

Hannah shares her experience of late diagnosis, while Dr Dominique Hannah reflects on her own journey from being labelled as a child to becoming a psychiatrist — and finally understanding her neurodivergence decades later.

We talk about what it means to grow up misunderstood, the impact of language and diagnosis, masking, burnout, and the moment everything finally makes sense.

This is a conversation about relief, identity, and the power of understanding your brain — and your child’s — through a new lens.

It’s not just you. Welcome home 💚