Intelligent Intoxication

It’s Not OK To Treat Others Like Sh*t

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You must know what’s OK and what’s NOT OK in the relationships you have to OTHERS. 

It’s NOT OK to:

  • shame or guilt another person
  • blame them for your feelings
  • lash out at others when you’re angry or triggered
  • expect another person to be 100% compatible with you
  • expect others to anticipate or assume what you need
  • self-sacrifice to meet the needs of others
  • push yourself past your capacity 
  • act like a “Debbie Downer” and complain all the time
  • act like an “Energy Vampire” and suck the energy from others

    • It’s OK to:

    • feel guilty when, according only to you, you’ve behaved in a manner you’re not proud of
  • share what you’ve felt AFTER you feel it and learn from it
  • buy yourself the time to take care of your body when triggered:
    • “I’m a little off right and I need to process this. I’ll circle back and let you know when I’m ready to talk about it.”
  • not feel like you have to love or do what the other person loves or does
  • communicate your needs or wants to others
  • say NO when you aren’t willing or able to meet the expectations of others
  • share your feelings and experiences vulnerably with others
  • intentionally decide not to spend time with “Debbie Downers” or “Energy Vampires”

    • When do you notice:

    • feeling ashamed or guilty for the emotions of others?
  • using the phrase: “You made me feel… “?
  • your body going into A.L.A.R.M.?
    • A = abuse
  • L = loss
  • A = abandonment
  • R = rejection
  • M = forced maturity
  • criticizing others when they’re incompatible with you?
  • reacting to anger and lashing out?
  • expecting others to be just like you?
  • expecting others to anticipate your needs and wants?
  • sacrificing your health and well-being to meet the needs of others?
  • pushing yourself past your capacity?
  • being the “audience” for a complainer?
  • complaining for attention?
  • allowing someone to “drain” your energy?
  • depending on others to be your joy?

    • When do you notice being willing to:

    • allow others to take responsibility for the part they played?
  • decide, according only to your own values, when you are willing to learn from guilt?
  • feel discomfort when someone is hurt or disappointed with you?
  • meet your own compatibility wants and needs?
  • prioritize taking care of yourself?
  • create your own joy?
  • commit to solving your problems - not advertising them?
  • create your own happiness and joy?

    • Anxiety Rx by Russell Kennedy, MD

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    Intelligent IntoxicationBy Terri Bradway
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