Confessions of a Parent Coach

It's Not Their Fault… So Should I Still Discipline?


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You don't want to discipline them.

Because you get it.

They're tired. They're overwhelmed. They're hormonal. They're transitioning between homes. They're dysregulated.

It's not their fault.

And yet… you also can't live like this.

This is the quiet tension so many thoughtful parents carry: If I understand why they're acting this way… do I still get to hold a boundary?

In this episode, I unpack the difference between discipline and punishment — and why confusing the two keeps empathetic parents stuck. I share a personal story about being called out on something that "wasn't my fault" and what it reminded me about our kids (and ourselves).

Because here's the truth: Just because a behavior is understandable doesn't mean it's excusable.

And holding loving guardrails is not the same thing as being harsh.

We'll talk about:

  • Why compassion is for regulation — not for excusing behavior

  • The common mistake emotionally attuned parents make

  • Why removing consequences actually creates more dysregulation

  • What authoritative discipline really looks like in real life

  • How to hold boundaries without shame, fear, or punishment

This is about becoming the steady one.

The one who can say, "I understand… and also, no."

When kids know the world makes sense — when behavior has predictable, calm outcomes — they actually feel safer. And safer kids learn faster.

Ready to Feel Clearer About Discipline?

If you're feeling murky about when to give consequences… If guilt keeps sneaking in… If you're worried you're either being too soft or too harsh…

Let's talk.

Book a free Parent Support Call with me here: 👉 https://bit.ly/KaplanCall

It's a real conversation — not a pitch. You'll leave with clarity either way.

And if we decide to work together, we'll build a version of discipline that feels strong, loving, and aligned with who you actually want to be as a parent.

You don't have to choose between kindness and leadership.

You get to be both.

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Confessions of a Parent CoachBy Ann Kaplan, Parent Coach